It used to be I'd put off doing a majority of the housework until the evening. I'm talking about the sweeping, vacuuming, dusting, mopping, cleaning the bathroom and the dishes. I used to say to myself stuff like "the day is too special to waste away cleaning." Now, this comes after I'd go on cleaning sprees that lasted for hours. Sometimes it would take me anywhere from 3-6 hours to clean my old apartment (well, it WAS two floors). But lately, I wanted to focus my energies on doing OTHER stuff during the daytime. Like ALWAYS be available for my child and the mom stuff (even when I'm on the computer, I jump in and out of my seat a lot). And spend time with my daughter; going for walks, reading together and stuff like that. I'm also doing the "writing work" but lately I have favored focusing that on early morning and late night routines. I want to change my writing schedule to where I'm not writing during the daytime, just in the mornings and at night.
Actually, my writing schedule isn't the only thing I want to change. Often I would be spending time with my daughter and her friend on the couch, reading a story or talking, and part of me would be thinking, 'I SHOULD be doing something useful. Why not dust or vacuum or sweep the floors?' And I'd answer that with, 'Well, I can do that tonight like always.' But I got tired of saving all that stuff for my evenings. I KNOW I get incredibly restless and VERY energetic at night, but I could put that energy into doing aerobics, or something. I didn't like saving the housecleaning duties for the evenings. I felt I wasn't being very productive during the daytime if I'm not doing the cleaning jobs I'm supposed to do.
Yesterday, I got restless. And since I couldn't go anywhere (it was pouring outside and my car is still out of commission), I got off the computer and started doing housework. All of the housework. (Admittedly, I ended up going a little overboard with the housework. But, I don't care! So what if my cabinets are clean! So what if the shelves are clean! ... They're supposed to be.) But I was disappointed it only took me two hours to clean the whole house. Wow, just two?? Good grief. And I was done a little after noon.
Well, I had the rest of the day to just do whatever. My job for the day was pretty much done. Which meant my evening was free, too! And I realized, well, that's a good thing. My daughter comes home tonight and I can spend that free time with her.
So the rest of my Sunday went pretty much relaxed. I read poetry and looked at artwork online (on deviantART) and even worked on my NaNoWriMo book. I balanced my checking account (the best way I could, anyway! I still have to go to the bank and check what I have with what's in there) and even relaxed on the couch with a book. I took a nap, chatted online and made some phone calls. I also spent some time leaving comments on the pages of friends on MySpace. (I like doing that because I know how much something like that can brighten their days.)
This morning, however, I woke up with excruciating back pain. It was horrible. I could NOT bend over. At all. I couldn't even tie my shoes after I got out of the shower. (And the shoestring broke on one of them! Sigh.) I tried doing one of the two Yoga moves I usually do to help my back pain, but even that hurt. I tried another stretch; it didn't help. I was in so much pain, it was awful. At one point, I had tried to get on the floor to somehow maneuver myself to tie my shoes, but I couldn't. It just hurt too much. I was so mad! I even started crying. I looked up at the wall to see my "life list" and I wanted to tear it off and tear it to shreds. If I was going to be in such a poor physical condition as this, there's no way I'd meet certain goals on that list. I wouldn't be able to travel. Learn Tae Kwon Do. Even learn how to swim. Well, MAYBE I could meet a certain somebody I hope to meet someday. And MAYBE I would get through the college courses I have yet to complete so I can get a college degree. But, everything else? Forget it.
This greatly depressed me. I WANTED to meet those goals. Why is my back so bad? Did I need surgery? A brace? Could it even be FIXED? Was my crummy mattress to blame? Did I need to just be more active?
Well, whatever it was, I had to live with it. I have to live with it now. I have that pain, sure, but, it's life. This is the way things are for me.
I also remembered I had to wake my daughter up. It was time to get her up now, and I HAD to get up and wake her up. I looked up at my list again and saw it as one thing: A goal. I had a goal right here and now, not on that list: To get myself up off the floor.
And even though it hurt like hell, I put all of my strength into my arms to lift/pull myself up. I managed to get to the other side of my bed (she had crawled into my bed to sleep with me last night) and thankfully, it didn't hurt so much when I sat down.
Now I'm starting to wonder if all that "going overboard" with the housework is a reason my back hurts so bad today. Or maybe my back just wasn't used to doing that kind of exertion in the daytime.
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