Today was an unusual day – or, should I say, an unusual morning. Every once in a while, my mornings can be eventful. I get up and there’s something or another going on and I have to take care of that before I can even have my first cup of coffee. That’ll happen sometimes. But this morning, three different things happened, all in one morning! I know they say that things usually happen in threes, but these were not “bad” things. Just things that really had an impact on me.
Well, the first thing that happened this morning had to do with an event I had been invited to on Facebook. I need to back up a bit on that first and provide some background. I used to know someone locally through my daughter’s friend. This was the friend’s mom. She seemed nice so I figured I’d stay in touch with her and communicate with her every so often. Then she moved and we lost touch. Because we were connected through Facebook, I had hoped we would stay in touch at least through Facebook, but that didn’t happen. I did hear from her sometime after she moved – she needed my help with something – but after that, nothing. It’s like she dropped off the planet, or something. I figured, it’s fine. She’s going through stuff. I’ll hear from her when I hear from her. But it got to be like she didn’t really make much effort to try to communicate with me very much. I mean, it was years until I heard from her again, and even then, it was about something to do with stuff I was writing. (It was nice to know she was paying attention to what I was writing!) Then I recently heard from her again, about something mysterious, and then I get an invite to her event.
Which brings us up to date. This person organized a rally that she was hoping to get “at least 200 people” to. The rally was to be held in downtown Eugene. Now, I know that Facebook’s event invites system has it where EVERYBODY on the Friends list gets invited to an event, but when I got the invitation, I was not sure I wanted to go. I did feel bad for my friend and I expressed to her my condolences over her loss. But I was not sure about attending the rally. I had to put some serious thought into it. Be there for a friend who hardly kept in touch with me? Or put my kids first and not attend something where I could be arrested, Tasered or trampled to death if the shit hit the fan?
I decided to go with the latter. I had to think about my children. I just could not put myself into a situation where their mother would be arrested, Tasered or trampled to death if the shit hit the fan. (FYI: Part of the theme of this rally was anti-police.) I made peace with this decision – or so I thought.
This morning, as I was drinking my coffee and reading the news, I saw a news announcement about this rally on my personal Twitter feed. I took one look at that and ALL of a sudden, guilt reared its ugly head. I felt bad. I felt guilty. I felt like I was being a lousy friend.
But…I know that I made the right decision as a mother. I know that choosing NOT to participate in the rally was the right thing to do for my kids’ sake. I HAVE to be there for them. And I have to put them first. Even if I feel guilty about it or look like a lousy friend. So I saw that and just reminded myself, I made the right decision.
I had to remind myself again later on when I was logged in at Facebook and going over the Events calendar. I usually just scroll right past them when I check to see if today is anybody’s birthday, but for some reason this morning, I felt a strong feeling to look at the event invites very carefully.
Which brings us to the second thing that happened. Earlier this month, Jen got an invitation to a friend’s birthday party. The mom created an Event for this on Facebook. Because I am paranoid and suspicious by nature, I contacted the mother personally to let her know we would be there. This is why I did not say if I was “going” or to “decline” on the event page. I don’t post my plans for events and so forth on the Internet because you never know who will see it and might show up and end up killing everybody. You know? But maybe my not doing that is what caused me to be left out when I saw that the date of the event had changed. I took one look at that and I was all like, “Gah!” Suddenly I was in emergency mode, because I was pretty sure that date conflicted with something else we have plans for later on in the month. I ran to check my calendar and, sure enough, we had a scheduling conflict. I immediately contacted the friend’s mom and we talked about alternative plans. At first, I thought it was a mix-up on the date, but then I realized later on that I just did NOT get the memo that the date had been changed. I made a mental note to keep an eye out on that for next time. (Still not gonna “decline” or “accept” invitations on Facebook Event pages! Oh, I’m sure some homicidal maniac lurking on the Web, or even Big Brother, would like that.)
I am just glad that I saw that and worked things out to fix the scheduling conflict.
As to the third thing that happened: When I was on Facebook today, I was busy scrolling through the Timeline, liking and sharing things. Also reading links to articles as well as blog posts. (And getting frustrated over a video about a church sermon that WAS NOT closed captioned so I couldn’t read anything the pastor said. Boo!) I came across something one of my friends shared that just really made me think. It was about this lady’s day in Portland being among the homeless. You can read what she wrote here:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10206173075358670&set=a.1054787822753.10463.1617551447&type=1
I thought that was an amazing thing to read. So powerful. It really moved me. The homeless problem is not just bad in Portland but it’s also bad in Eugene, too. I see A LOT of people on the streets anyime that I drive anywhere. I give when I can. And I have given in the past. But it seems that we need to do more than to just give to the homeless. The author of that article pointed out something else we need to do too: “Talk to them.” She shared how she learned so much about the people struggling on the streets and cared more about their situations just by talking to them and hearing their stories.
This gave me pause. But it also reminded me of something that happened not too long ago.
See, I don’t make it a point to talk to people. I am NOT a social person. I don’t run my mouth when I’m around people. I am usually quiet, sometimes lost in thought, sometimes lost in a fictional world or listening to the music in my head. (Music I remember before I became deaf.) Yes, it is true that my deafness is the reason why I don’t socialize. I have had to deal with SO MUCH frustration over not being able to communicate with hearing people who could not sign or did not want to write things down that I just threw up my arms and gave up trying. I would LOVE to be able to talk with hearing people, but I can’t. That’s just the way it is. (It sucks being deaf!!)
And this is why I don’t really talk to the homeless people I see on the streets. I just can’t communicate with them. It’s not that I don’t want to; it’s just that I can’t!
But this one time, something really interesting happened.
One day, not too long ago, I was driving home from a doctor appointment. I came to a stoplight where a homeless man was holding up a sign saying “ANYTHING HELPS.” As a deaf driver, I make it a point to stay attentive to my surroundings and take notice of EVERYTHING when I am at a stoplight. This way, I can catch sight of people waiting to cross the street, a bicyclist coming to a stop beside me or a siren flashing of a police car or some other. I took notice of the man standing on the corner before I started looking around at everything else. (I have to rely on my eyes since I can’t rely on my ears!) Then I happened to see that the man was talking to me, gesturing and saying it was a hot day. I smiled at having understood what he said and replied that, yes, it was hot today. He started using gestures as he talked and, surprisingly, I was able to understand what he was saying as he talked just BECAUSE of these gestures. I was basically able to have a brief conversation with him thanks to his hand movements. That was a really nice surprise and I was glad for it too. I was glad I was able to understand the silent voice of someone who just wanted to be heard. And guess what? On that day, he was heard by a deaf person.
So after reading that article, and remembering that experience, I realized that, you know, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to give talking to them a chance. If I don’t understand them, then I don’t understand them. I will have to cross that bridge when I get to it. They just want someone to talk to or to get a smile from. If I can do that one thing despite being deaf, then I’ll call the rest of my day a good one.
Showing posts with label Facebook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Facebook. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Sunday, June 28, 2015
The fallout from being slandered on Facebook
Some time ago on Facebook, I posted a mini-rant about someone. One person on my Friends list knew this person and pointed out that it wasn’t fair that I was saying as much when this person was not able to defend himself in response to what I said. That was a very good point and since then I have kept that in mind before I post stuff. (Though I gotta say: I no longer post ANYTHING like that that has to do with personal relationships because I would rather talk with the person privately instead of whining about it on Facebook. Whining does not solve anything!) Unfortunately, there are some people out there who do not think that way. Today I came across someone who I do not know and who is not on my Friends list but whose page I checked out because, from what I learned through a private discussion with a friend, he was slandering her on his page. I checked it out and, yes, unfortunately, he WAS slandering her on his Facebook page. By name. I was outraged because this dude was acting like such a hypocrite and he was trashing MY FRIEND. The worst part was that my friend could not defend herself because he unfriended her. That is just not cool.
The big thing that I worried about because of this, though, is that from now on, everybody on his page who saw that would forever believe that this particular person is EVIL. That she DISCRIMINATES. I won’t post my friend’s name here because I respect her privacy, but I WILL say that this dude was WRONG and anybody who believes him is WRONG. And I also gotta say that I have been where my friend is now. I was not attacked by name but, boy, did I get my ass chewed out on Facebook over a stupid meme. My worry then was the same that I had for my friend now: That everybody who saw all of that would believe what I was wrongfully accused of.
But I want to tell my friend the same thing I told myself after all of that blew over. I want to tell her this: If everybody who sees that post believes what that guy says about you, screw them. They do not know you. They do not understand you. They probably want some reason or another to gracefully bow out of your life without looking like a total jerk because they’re going to ride their Righteous Horse for all it is worth and BELIEVE what they think of you no matter what. And you have to let that go. Don’t waste your time trying to tell them they are wrong or defend yourself to them because They. Don’t. Care. They want to have this NEGATIVE view of you and milk it for all it is worth to make THEM look like some martyr or a prince and YOU look like a sack of shit. I’m sorry, but it is true. That’s how people are.
And, you know, if they were looking for some excuse to drop you, then maybe it’s a good thing this all happened. Because at least now you know that they didn’t really care about you at all. It hurts, yes, but there are people who wouldn’t bat an eye over hurting someone. It’s a cold, hard fact about this world. You know, people suck. You could try convincing them that they are wrong and you can talk until you are blue in the face, but they won’t listen. They won’t care. They will believe what the other person said. Or they will believe this incorrect and negative view that they have of you forever and ever and ever.
And, you know what? You don’t need people like that in your life. If they are the kind of person who does not want to take time to get to know you, understand you and accept you the way you are, then don’t chase after them when they choose to walk out of your life. In fact, show them the door!
People who DO know you will understand that you are not that person. People who DO care about you will realize what’s going on and remain your friend, confidante, whatever, No. Matter. What. I mean, they’ll see that crap that guy said and think that, obviously, there was a misunderstanding. There was some form of miscommunication. Or maybe that guy is just being a jerk.
So don’t sweat jerks like that. Yes, it’s wrong of them to slander you like that on Facebook, but really, there’s not much you can do about it. Just write them off. Accept their unfriending you with a glad heart. Because now you know what kind of person they REALLY are, and you are better off that they have walked out of your life. Good riddance!
The big thing that I worried about because of this, though, is that from now on, everybody on his page who saw that would forever believe that this particular person is EVIL. That she DISCRIMINATES. I won’t post my friend’s name here because I respect her privacy, but I WILL say that this dude was WRONG and anybody who believes him is WRONG. And I also gotta say that I have been where my friend is now. I was not attacked by name but, boy, did I get my ass chewed out on Facebook over a stupid meme. My worry then was the same that I had for my friend now: That everybody who saw all of that would believe what I was wrongfully accused of.
But I want to tell my friend the same thing I told myself after all of that blew over. I want to tell her this: If everybody who sees that post believes what that guy says about you, screw them. They do not know you. They do not understand you. They probably want some reason or another to gracefully bow out of your life without looking like a total jerk because they’re going to ride their Righteous Horse for all it is worth and BELIEVE what they think of you no matter what. And you have to let that go. Don’t waste your time trying to tell them they are wrong or defend yourself to them because They. Don’t. Care. They want to have this NEGATIVE view of you and milk it for all it is worth to make THEM look like some martyr or a prince and YOU look like a sack of shit. I’m sorry, but it is true. That’s how people are.
And, you know, if they were looking for some excuse to drop you, then maybe it’s a good thing this all happened. Because at least now you know that they didn’t really care about you at all. It hurts, yes, but there are people who wouldn’t bat an eye over hurting someone. It’s a cold, hard fact about this world. You know, people suck. You could try convincing them that they are wrong and you can talk until you are blue in the face, but they won’t listen. They won’t care. They will believe what the other person said. Or they will believe this incorrect and negative view that they have of you forever and ever and ever.
And, you know what? You don’t need people like that in your life. If they are the kind of person who does not want to take time to get to know you, understand you and accept you the way you are, then don’t chase after them when they choose to walk out of your life. In fact, show them the door!
People who DO know you will understand that you are not that person. People who DO care about you will realize what’s going on and remain your friend, confidante, whatever, No. Matter. What. I mean, they’ll see that crap that guy said and think that, obviously, there was a misunderstanding. There was some form of miscommunication. Or maybe that guy is just being a jerk.
So don’t sweat jerks like that. Yes, it’s wrong of them to slander you like that on Facebook, but really, there’s not much you can do about it. Just write them off. Accept their unfriending you with a glad heart. Because now you know what kind of person they REALLY are, and you are better off that they have walked out of your life. Good riddance!
Saturday, November 02, 2013
I have not lost my way
One thing that I like to do when I’m logged in at Facebook is to share funny, cute and inspiring photos. The photos I choose to share either reflect my sense of humor or my philosophies. Or I share stuff just to have a good laugh with others. But sometimes, I’ll see something that I’d like to share, but the one thing that stops me is, believe it or not, a typo. I mean, seriously! If a word isn’t spelled correctly, then that really bugs me! Sometimes, though, I understand typos are intentional, like for funny animal pictures, and I’m cool with that. Still, a typo will give me pause. What WILL NOT give me pause is the site the picture came from or what sort of item is being “advertised” somewhere in a picture.
I don’t post a picture just to endorse a website or a certain drink. And it really bothers me when people take issue with that. You know? It’s really dumb. And I have to say right here and now that I DID NOT post a recent photo in an attempt to say “Yay Wiccans!” I posted it for the MESSAGE that was in that photo.
Now this sort of post bothered a certain cousin of mine, who is a Christian minister. He took issue with the photo coming from a Wiccan site. (Disclaimer: I’m a Christian, NOT a Wiccan. I HAVE tried the Wiccan path before but it was not for me.) His first post on this photo bothered me, but before I responded, I asked him what exactly was the problem. You know? I just wanted to see what it was he took issue with, over something that was, I might add, on MY Facebook page and not his. So when he spelled it out, it was THEN that I responded.
My cousin’s response was, I felt, judgmental and negative of Wiccans. While I’m not going to take any sides or anything when it comes to religion, I WILL speak out against intolerance and negativity towards others. I cannot stand discrimination, intolerance, racism or judgments against others, and I will fight anyone who thinks they can get away with being negative towards me, or other people. Especially if they think they can do that on MY Facebook page.
People, that’s not what I am about. I love and respect ALL people, no matter what their religion is or their beliefs or their lifestyles. I accept people the way they are, and I will not judge them. I have friends who are Wiccans, Pagans, atheists, Christians, Catholics, Jews, agnostics and all the rest. I have friends and family who are gay, and some who are straight. And I love them all. I will not judge or be negative towards any one of them. This is their choice and I totally respect that. And you know what? They respect MY beliefs, too. That is all that I ask of them. I respect their beliefs and they respect mine.
I am not a judgmental person. I would rather show kindness, friendship, compassion and love towards someone of a different religion, rather than judgment. It is not for me to judge someone because of their faith. Only God has the right to judge.
Now, that said, yes, I AM a Christian. And you know what? I still call myself a christian even though I accept others despite religious differences – and my cousin thinks that is BAD.
I would have let this whole thing go if it had not been for what happened this morning. The whole furor over that photo took place yesterday, and I would have let it go. A new day is a new start, right? Let bygones be bygones. But, against my better judgment, I decided to have a look at my cousin’s Facebook page this morning. And I was outraged at what I saw. His most recent post was about how he thinks it’s so very, very tragic that “confessing believers” ignore the Will of God. Not only this, but he says this certain “believer” (me) has decided to “pick and choose” what we want to do in God’s name.
I was very angry about this. And I’m sorry, I love my cousin, but I had to unfriend him. I just don’t want people judging me like that.
Some people think that they know me, but they DO NOT know me. I am not the “devoted good little Christian” they tried to fashion me into. I am a more modern Christian, a "Different Kind of Christian,” who loves and accepts all. I believe this is how God would want us to represent Him to others. Show love, kindness and acceptance. Not hatred, judgments or scorn. You know, what ever happened to “love the sinner but hate the sin”? Or how about “judge not, lest ye shall be judged”?
And if I am going to be judged for being the way I am, then I don’t want those kinds of people around me. Obviously, they don’t understand me. They don’t get that I will not judge others. I have my own beliefs, and other people have theirs.
And instead of preaching to others YOUR religion or shoving YOUR religion down another person’s throat, why not try a different approach instead and show them the Word of God through actions instead of words? Actions DO speak louder than words! Let your ACTIONS be for the glory of God and in Jesus’ name, and maybe that will inspire a nonbeliever. You know? It’s just a thought.
Judging others is a turnoff. A nonbeliever would not feel so welcome to listen to what a Christian has to say if all a Christian says is ‘You’ll burn in Hell for denying God.” That just doesn’t work.
But anyway, I choose not to judge others. That sort of thing is negative and it causes drama. The LAST thing I want to do is spread hate and negativity to others! And I have a “no drama” policy on MY Facebook page. So, ya know what? That sort of thing is not welcome on my page.
I love my cousin and I’m willing to forgive, but you know, if he does that sorta thing, then I’d rather not put myself into that position anymore.
I will not pass on sharing stuff on Facebook just because of what site it comes from or what drink it advertises. And I will not adopt a self-righteous attitude when it comes to others who have a different religion. I know I’m not perfect. I know I’m a sinner. I’m not a saint. But I’m not someone who "picks and chooses’ what part of God’s Word to obey. I do not “focus only on this world.” If I was a missionary, then MAYBE I’d make it my mission to convert everybody else to Christianity. But I’m not a missionary. I am just an ordinary Christian who loves and accepts all. Let’s try and show a little love and kindness towards each other. This world is hard enough to survive. The last thing we need to do is make it harder for us all to get along. Spread love, not hate. Peace!
I don’t post a picture just to endorse a website or a certain drink. And it really bothers me when people take issue with that. You know? It’s really dumb. And I have to say right here and now that I DID NOT post a recent photo in an attempt to say “Yay Wiccans!” I posted it for the MESSAGE that was in that photo.
Now this sort of post bothered a certain cousin of mine, who is a Christian minister. He took issue with the photo coming from a Wiccan site. (Disclaimer: I’m a Christian, NOT a Wiccan. I HAVE tried the Wiccan path before but it was not for me.) His first post on this photo bothered me, but before I responded, I asked him what exactly was the problem. You know? I just wanted to see what it was he took issue with, over something that was, I might add, on MY Facebook page and not his. So when he spelled it out, it was THEN that I responded.
My cousin’s response was, I felt, judgmental and negative of Wiccans. While I’m not going to take any sides or anything when it comes to religion, I WILL speak out against intolerance and negativity towards others. I cannot stand discrimination, intolerance, racism or judgments against others, and I will fight anyone who thinks they can get away with being negative towards me, or other people. Especially if they think they can do that on MY Facebook page.
People, that’s not what I am about. I love and respect ALL people, no matter what their religion is or their beliefs or their lifestyles. I accept people the way they are, and I will not judge them. I have friends who are Wiccans, Pagans, atheists, Christians, Catholics, Jews, agnostics and all the rest. I have friends and family who are gay, and some who are straight. And I love them all. I will not judge or be negative towards any one of them. This is their choice and I totally respect that. And you know what? They respect MY beliefs, too. That is all that I ask of them. I respect their beliefs and they respect mine.
I am not a judgmental person. I would rather show kindness, friendship, compassion and love towards someone of a different religion, rather than judgment. It is not for me to judge someone because of their faith. Only God has the right to judge.
Now, that said, yes, I AM a Christian. And you know what? I still call myself a christian even though I accept others despite religious differences – and my cousin thinks that is BAD.
I would have let this whole thing go if it had not been for what happened this morning. The whole furor over that photo took place yesterday, and I would have let it go. A new day is a new start, right? Let bygones be bygones. But, against my better judgment, I decided to have a look at my cousin’s Facebook page this morning. And I was outraged at what I saw. His most recent post was about how he thinks it’s so very, very tragic that “confessing believers” ignore the Will of God. Not only this, but he says this certain “believer” (me) has decided to “pick and choose” what we want to do in God’s name.
I was very angry about this. And I’m sorry, I love my cousin, but I had to unfriend him. I just don’t want people judging me like that.
Some people think that they know me, but they DO NOT know me. I am not the “devoted good little Christian” they tried to fashion me into. I am a more modern Christian, a "Different Kind of Christian,” who loves and accepts all. I believe this is how God would want us to represent Him to others. Show love, kindness and acceptance. Not hatred, judgments or scorn. You know, what ever happened to “love the sinner but hate the sin”? Or how about “judge not, lest ye shall be judged”?
And if I am going to be judged for being the way I am, then I don’t want those kinds of people around me. Obviously, they don’t understand me. They don’t get that I will not judge others. I have my own beliefs, and other people have theirs.
And instead of preaching to others YOUR religion or shoving YOUR religion down another person’s throat, why not try a different approach instead and show them the Word of God through actions instead of words? Actions DO speak louder than words! Let your ACTIONS be for the glory of God and in Jesus’ name, and maybe that will inspire a nonbeliever. You know? It’s just a thought.
Judging others is a turnoff. A nonbeliever would not feel so welcome to listen to what a Christian has to say if all a Christian says is ‘You’ll burn in Hell for denying God.” That just doesn’t work.
But anyway, I choose not to judge others. That sort of thing is negative and it causes drama. The LAST thing I want to do is spread hate and negativity to others! And I have a “no drama” policy on MY Facebook page. So, ya know what? That sort of thing is not welcome on my page.
I love my cousin and I’m willing to forgive, but you know, if he does that sorta thing, then I’d rather not put myself into that position anymore.
I will not pass on sharing stuff on Facebook just because of what site it comes from or what drink it advertises. And I will not adopt a self-righteous attitude when it comes to others who have a different religion. I know I’m not perfect. I know I’m a sinner. I’m not a saint. But I’m not someone who "picks and chooses’ what part of God’s Word to obey. I do not “focus only on this world.” If I was a missionary, then MAYBE I’d make it my mission to convert everybody else to Christianity. But I’m not a missionary. I am just an ordinary Christian who loves and accepts all. Let’s try and show a little love and kindness towards each other. This world is hard enough to survive. The last thing we need to do is make it harder for us all to get along. Spread love, not hate. Peace!
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Why we need social media
For the longest time, I have had a love/hate relationship with social media. I don’t use ALL of the social media sites and rarely will I ever participate at Google+. But I love the social media sites I DO use – Twitter and Facebook – because they’ve been great to stay connected with people. I HAVE been tempted to leave them either because I have had problems with people who were being jerks or my friends’ complaints about “evil social media” starting to frighten me. But then I figured, heck, I’ve been on this long, why stop now?
And I have seen how social media has been helpful to people. It’s helped to bust criminals, put together clues on things that have happened to people, as well as get messages across that the public at large could not be prone to. (Journalists DO use tweets and Facebook pics/posts in their stories.) Today, I saw how using social media can be VERY helpful.
I am reviewing this nonfiction book for Night Owl Reviews that is a woman’s true story of different things that have happened in her life that drew her closer to God. (Good book, by the way!) In one chapter that I read today, she recounted a terrifying experience she and her friends went through that they were lucky to survive. On a holiday in an Australian rainforest, the driver lost control of their car and it flew into a deep part of the forest, front-first, and nearly sank into the mud. They survived that crash and pushed their car out of the mud, but the car was out of gas so they couldn’t use it to get out of there. So they started walking – and ended up getting lost. In a rainforest. None of them had a cell phone, as well as no food, radio or water. For hours, they trekked through the woods, and then they got lost. They were freezing, scared, starving, bruised from the crash, dehydrated and had no way to call for any help. The author of this story said that no one knew where they were so they would not come looking for them, and no one would know for several more hours that they were lost.
By that time, they might be dead.
As I read this, I thought, Well, what if one of them had been posting about their adventures on Twitter? And a friend realized that the posts stopped, or there was no blog posts or pics on Instagram, and realize something was wrong?
But then I remembered that this person’s story took place several years ago – before Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and blogs. (Well, the blogs we know today.) No one would have updated or posted about ANYTHING on social media, because there WAS no social media at that time!
This gave me pause. It also made me grateful that we DO have social media. Thank God for people who post about their vacations and their adventures! That’s how other people – their friends, family and colleagues – can keep tabs on them. So often I have checked out the Twitter or Facebook page of someone I’ve lost touch with, or even their blogs, to see if they’re still alive. You know? I mean, social media is a great way for us to keep tabs on each other and be more aware of if something is wrong.
So, yes, I AM glad we have social media today. Maybe those college kids would have had a better chance of some friend thinking something was wrong because there weren’t any tweets or Facebook posts. (Smartphones make it possible for us to do that no matter where we are – another thing to be thankful for!)
In the end, one of the group who was still strong went on ahead and got help. They were rescued. But I think if they’d been using social media to post about their adventures and stuff, maybe it would be less worry for people who get lost because there is a chance someone following their posts would see no recent updates or tweets or anything, and realize they might be in danger and need some help.
And I have seen how social media has been helpful to people. It’s helped to bust criminals, put together clues on things that have happened to people, as well as get messages across that the public at large could not be prone to. (Journalists DO use tweets and Facebook pics/posts in their stories.) Today, I saw how using social media can be VERY helpful.
I am reviewing this nonfiction book for Night Owl Reviews that is a woman’s true story of different things that have happened in her life that drew her closer to God. (Good book, by the way!) In one chapter that I read today, she recounted a terrifying experience she and her friends went through that they were lucky to survive. On a holiday in an Australian rainforest, the driver lost control of their car and it flew into a deep part of the forest, front-first, and nearly sank into the mud. They survived that crash and pushed their car out of the mud, but the car was out of gas so they couldn’t use it to get out of there. So they started walking – and ended up getting lost. In a rainforest. None of them had a cell phone, as well as no food, radio or water. For hours, they trekked through the woods, and then they got lost. They were freezing, scared, starving, bruised from the crash, dehydrated and had no way to call for any help. The author of this story said that no one knew where they were so they would not come looking for them, and no one would know for several more hours that they were lost.
By that time, they might be dead.
As I read this, I thought, Well, what if one of them had been posting about their adventures on Twitter? And a friend realized that the posts stopped, or there was no blog posts or pics on Instagram, and realize something was wrong?
But then I remembered that this person’s story took place several years ago – before Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and blogs. (Well, the blogs we know today.) No one would have updated or posted about ANYTHING on social media, because there WAS no social media at that time!
This gave me pause. It also made me grateful that we DO have social media. Thank God for people who post about their vacations and their adventures! That’s how other people – their friends, family and colleagues – can keep tabs on them. So often I have checked out the Twitter or Facebook page of someone I’ve lost touch with, or even their blogs, to see if they’re still alive. You know? I mean, social media is a great way for us to keep tabs on each other and be more aware of if something is wrong.
So, yes, I AM glad we have social media today. Maybe those college kids would have had a better chance of some friend thinking something was wrong because there weren’t any tweets or Facebook posts. (Smartphones make it possible for us to do that no matter where we are – another thing to be thankful for!)
In the end, one of the group who was still strong went on ahead and got help. They were rescued. But I think if they’d been using social media to post about their adventures and stuff, maybe it would be less worry for people who get lost because there is a chance someone following their posts would see no recent updates or tweets or anything, and realize they might be in danger and need some help.
Tuesday, August 07, 2012
"Follow your heart"
One way I like to start my mornings? By reading the news or checking out news programs on TV. Most of the time, I grab a cup of coffee and check in with some news sites I am subscribed to. But sometimes, I’ll still have some more coffee to drink after I’m done reading the news online, and that’s when I’ll check out any e-newsletters in my inbox. Or I may read postings in online groups I am a member of. So this morning, I had a bit of time to read before getting to work on one of my books. One of those newsletters happened to be the August issue of The Well-Fed E-Pub, a newsletter published by “Well Fed Writer” Peter Bowerman. (Peter wrote the Foreword for my 365 TIPS FOR WRITERS book.)
It was something Peter wrote in the editorial in this newsletter that made me nearly choke on what little coffee I had left in my cup:
That last part right there made me do a double take. As someone who studied journalism in college and wrote for a few newspapers, thereby calling myself a “journalist” even though I did not have a degree stating as much, I couldn’t help but take what he said personally. I have got NOTHING against copywriters or freelancers, believe me. And I just think it was uncool of him to say something was indeed “snarky” about journalism and, let’s face it, good journalists. (And I say “good journalists” because I know there are indeed bad journalists. Those who do the things that Peter said, such as lying and stretching the truth. Heck, there are even journalists who write articles that border on sensationalist journalism, even if they are writing for a city paper and not some tabloid.) This just really bugged me. I was shocked at first but then the shock wore away and I was mad.
VERY mad!
I was so tempted to send Peter an email and say something along the lines of, “How could you put down journalism like that??!!” I wanted to SCREAM at him! I was just so angry!
But ... I am one of those people who follow the advice of how if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything a all. And I was just too mad to say anything nice right then and there – not to him, anyway. (What was I supposed to say?? “Good on ya!”? “I agree” – when I don’t??) So I kept my mouth shut and just stewed over it.
Still, when I logged in at Facebook, I put this in my status:
“I am still reeling after reading a certain editorial in a certain newsletter I am subscribed to. I just want to scream at this person, "A journalist DOES NOT lie! A journalist, a GOOD journalist, does not 'embellish a story' or 'stretch the truth.' A good journalist reports the facts!" But then it made me realize, I'm not a journalist anymore. Well, as far as writing for a newspaper is concerned. It just really made me think about what I am missing out on right now.”
That last part took me by surprise. I just started typing my reaction and, sure enough, something kinda unexpected happen. My fingers froze over the keys. Realization dawned over me. And my heart gave me a gentle nudge. A nudge that said “Exactly!”
When the newspaper SIGNews shut down, I told people that I cried. I really did. I bawled my eyes out. Here was a GOOD newspaper I had been a part of for so long, one in which I was, yes, a REAL journalist! And now it was gone. I’m not a journalist anymore because I am a writer without a newspaper. Without a degree in journalism at that!
And ya know what? Something was definitely wrong with that picture. Something just wasn’t right!
When I was forced to stop attending college because there was no more money for it, I vowed that someday I would go back. I have NEVER forgotten that vow, even now, all these years later. I have always wanted to go back to college. I still do. I just REALLY want to do this.
Yes, I TRIED to do this before. But something always came up and it didn’t happen. But I never gave up! Someday, I kept telling myself.
Well, you know what? This year’s theme is “someday is today.”
It’s time to stop putting things off!
The more I thought about it, the more I realized I should have stuck with my goal of getting a degree in journalism instead of deciding to get a degree in healthcare or a degree in landscaping only because those were jobs that would pay the bills. Nope! That’s not for me!
The degree for me is a journalism degree. My heart is in journalism. Always has been, always will be.
They say you can’t get a job with a journalism degree. Well, so what! I’m going to get that degree anyway! Because that degree will make me a REAL journalist even if I don't have a newspaper to write for at the time.
And even though I have not done the kind of journalism Peter numbered off in his editorial, I’m going to make sure that won’t be what everybody thinks of journalists in the future. I have not nor will I ever be a journalist who lies, stretches the truth or embellishes a story. Nope! And I am prepared to go out there and prove just that. (Wow, isn’t it nice how something negative ended up being something positive later on? Thanks, Peter!)
Of course, I realize that being a journalist, a reporter, is very demanding. You have to be ready to get OUT THERE where the news is at the minute it happens. You have to have nerves of steel. There are risks involved, as well, and it’s hard to have much of a “personal life” when you must be ready to report the news 24/7.
All of this made me think extra hard about this decision. This choice might affect how much time I’ll get to spend with my kids. And my kids mean EVERYTHING to me. It will be hard going from being there for them all of the time to being there for them some of the time.
But I know I must do this. I HAVE to do this.
And I know that if I do this, I will be teaching my children the message of how important it is to go after what you want in your life. I will be setting a good example for them. Don't give up on what you want just to be available 24/7 for other people. Live. Your. Life. There is MORE to life than being a stay-at-home mom or dad. I want them to know this and see this from me.
And, anyway, by the time I get the degree and can work, Jennifer will be old enough to be at home alone to watch her little brother.
I know I am not meant to be a stay-at-home mom. A housewife. The maid.
I know I MUST do something more in life. And I know this is a step in the right direction. This is what my heart is telling me to do.
Despite this resolve, I still struggled with how hard that change will be. I even started to ask myself if I was being selfish. Or if I should wait until the kids have flown the coop.
And, of course, there is also the fact that I am profoundly deaf. My experience with in-person interviewing was compromised in the past. I recorded interviews and my sister transcribed them. That would not work now. So, what would I do? Maybe have an assistant to sign to me? It was quite a problem that was causing me to doubt my resolve.
Then, of course, there's money. It's going to cost MONEY to go back to school to get a degree in journalism! A lot of money. And we don't have "a lot" of money. What then?
But then ... something else happened.
I logged into my email account again later on in the day, and there in my inbox was a notification from Facebook that someone commented on one of my status updates. It was Carolyn Howard-Johnson. I saw that and held my breath. I thought, Uh-oh. Did she know I was ranting about Peter’s editorial? I know she has met him and maybe she was defending him, or something. (And I even kept telling myself He probably didn’t mean it that way!) But when I opened it to read it, it said this: “Follow your heart.”
I had to reread those words. They just REALLY had a profound affect on me. They really moved me. I guess I needed those words there and then.
Carolyn was commenting on a different status I posted yesterday, but her words just really hit home with me.
The last time I followed my heart, in love, it did not end well. So I had to ask myself, you know, was I giving up? Was I just burying what I really wanted to do in life because I think it won’t happen??
Why not just take her advice and go after what I REALLY want to do with my life? Go after that goal? Just follow my heart and see where it will led?
Those words had such a powerful affect on me. They ended up being words I took to heart.
“Follow your heart.” That is good advice. And I think that is advice that I will take. (Thanks, Carolyn!)
I believe things happen for a reason. Maybe there was a reason why I took Peter's words the way I did, a reason why Carolyn posted that comment at that particular point in time. Maybe it was Fate telling me, Yes! This is your path!
I love it when Fate works like that.
Peter Bowerman's response:
The "snarky" reference was a description of my previous comment, NOT about journalists or journalism. Yes, I was taking a certain segment of the journalism trade to task, but was in no way, extrapolating for the entire field. I'd never do that, and I apologize if that's how it came across.
But, most importantly, I'm afraid you fundamentally misunderstood the section, "It's not about lying....nefarious tinkering."
I was referring to how many journalists view the commercial writing world: they believe writing copy is about lying, embellishing, etc. I was NOT describing journalists with that section. Again, I'd never make so brazen an assertion! ;)
Dawn here: I thought I misunderstood him. :) Sorry, Peter. But like I said in email, at least something good came out of it.
It was something Peter wrote in the editorial in this newsletter that made me nearly choke on what little coffee I had left in my cup:
Usually, I’m dealing with current or ex-journalists who just can’t shake the notion of the “subjective” nature of commercial writing (i.e., in many cases, you’re “writing to sell” and company’s product/service, or, at the very least, painting it in the best possible light). Versus its – ahem – purer, more high-born, and certainly more objective cousin: journalism.
Okay, so that’s a bit snarky, but in this polarized day and age of ours, the phrase “objective journalism” is rapidly approaching the level of oxymoron. And as our friend above notes, journalism is selling something as well – the newspaper itself.
For those hailing from the Fourth Estate who still struggle with this, who still believe that being a FLCW is tantamount to going over to the dark side, consider this: Writing effective marketing copy (whether a brochure, ad, direct mail piece, white paper or case study, for starters…) is nothing more than helping to put your client’s best foot forward.
It’s about figuring out what makes their product or service special, and crafting materials that reflect those conclusions. It’s not about lying, stretching the truth, wildly embellishing or any other similar nefarious tinkering.
Okay, so that’s a bit snarky, but in this polarized day and age of ours, the phrase “objective journalism” is rapidly approaching the level of oxymoron. And as our friend above notes, journalism is selling something as well – the newspaper itself.
For those hailing from the Fourth Estate who still struggle with this, who still believe that being a FLCW is tantamount to going over to the dark side, consider this: Writing effective marketing copy (whether a brochure, ad, direct mail piece, white paper or case study, for starters…) is nothing more than helping to put your client’s best foot forward.
It’s about figuring out what makes their product or service special, and crafting materials that reflect those conclusions. It’s not about lying, stretching the truth, wildly embellishing or any other similar nefarious tinkering.
That last part right there made me do a double take. As someone who studied journalism in college and wrote for a few newspapers, thereby calling myself a “journalist” even though I did not have a degree stating as much, I couldn’t help but take what he said personally. I have got NOTHING against copywriters or freelancers, believe me. And I just think it was uncool of him to say something was indeed “snarky” about journalism and, let’s face it, good journalists. (And I say “good journalists” because I know there are indeed bad journalists. Those who do the things that Peter said, such as lying and stretching the truth. Heck, there are even journalists who write articles that border on sensationalist journalism, even if they are writing for a city paper and not some tabloid.) This just really bugged me. I was shocked at first but then the shock wore away and I was mad.
VERY mad!
I was so tempted to send Peter an email and say something along the lines of, “How could you put down journalism like that??!!” I wanted to SCREAM at him! I was just so angry!
But ... I am one of those people who follow the advice of how if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything a all. And I was just too mad to say anything nice right then and there – not to him, anyway. (What was I supposed to say?? “Good on ya!”? “I agree” – when I don’t??) So I kept my mouth shut and just stewed over it.
Still, when I logged in at Facebook, I put this in my status:
“I am still reeling after reading a certain editorial in a certain newsletter I am subscribed to. I just want to scream at this person, "A journalist DOES NOT lie! A journalist, a GOOD journalist, does not 'embellish a story' or 'stretch the truth.' A good journalist reports the facts!" But then it made me realize, I'm not a journalist anymore. Well, as far as writing for a newspaper is concerned. It just really made me think about what I am missing out on right now.”
That last part took me by surprise. I just started typing my reaction and, sure enough, something kinda unexpected happen. My fingers froze over the keys. Realization dawned over me. And my heart gave me a gentle nudge. A nudge that said “Exactly!”
When the newspaper SIGNews shut down, I told people that I cried. I really did. I bawled my eyes out. Here was a GOOD newspaper I had been a part of for so long, one in which I was, yes, a REAL journalist! And now it was gone. I’m not a journalist anymore because I am a writer without a newspaper. Without a degree in journalism at that!
And ya know what? Something was definitely wrong with that picture. Something just wasn’t right!
When I was forced to stop attending college because there was no more money for it, I vowed that someday I would go back. I have NEVER forgotten that vow, even now, all these years later. I have always wanted to go back to college. I still do. I just REALLY want to do this.
Yes, I TRIED to do this before. But something always came up and it didn’t happen. But I never gave up! Someday, I kept telling myself.
Well, you know what? This year’s theme is “someday is today.”
It’s time to stop putting things off!
The more I thought about it, the more I realized I should have stuck with my goal of getting a degree in journalism instead of deciding to get a degree in healthcare or a degree in landscaping only because those were jobs that would pay the bills. Nope! That’s not for me!
The degree for me is a journalism degree. My heart is in journalism. Always has been, always will be.
They say you can’t get a job with a journalism degree. Well, so what! I’m going to get that degree anyway! Because that degree will make me a REAL journalist even if I don't have a newspaper to write for at the time.
And even though I have not done the kind of journalism Peter numbered off in his editorial, I’m going to make sure that won’t be what everybody thinks of journalists in the future. I have not nor will I ever be a journalist who lies, stretches the truth or embellishes a story. Nope! And I am prepared to go out there and prove just that. (Wow, isn’t it nice how something negative ended up being something positive later on? Thanks, Peter!)
Of course, I realize that being a journalist, a reporter, is very demanding. You have to be ready to get OUT THERE where the news is at the minute it happens. You have to have nerves of steel. There are risks involved, as well, and it’s hard to have much of a “personal life” when you must be ready to report the news 24/7.
All of this made me think extra hard about this decision. This choice might affect how much time I’ll get to spend with my kids. And my kids mean EVERYTHING to me. It will be hard going from being there for them all of the time to being there for them some of the time.
But I know I must do this. I HAVE to do this.
And I know that if I do this, I will be teaching my children the message of how important it is to go after what you want in your life. I will be setting a good example for them. Don't give up on what you want just to be available 24/7 for other people. Live. Your. Life. There is MORE to life than being a stay-at-home mom or dad. I want them to know this and see this from me.
And, anyway, by the time I get the degree and can work, Jennifer will be old enough to be at home alone to watch her little brother.
I know I am not meant to be a stay-at-home mom. A housewife. The maid.
I know I MUST do something more in life. And I know this is a step in the right direction. This is what my heart is telling me to do.
Despite this resolve, I still struggled with how hard that change will be. I even started to ask myself if I was being selfish. Or if I should wait until the kids have flown the coop.
And, of course, there is also the fact that I am profoundly deaf. My experience with in-person interviewing was compromised in the past. I recorded interviews and my sister transcribed them. That would not work now. So, what would I do? Maybe have an assistant to sign to me? It was quite a problem that was causing me to doubt my resolve.
Then, of course, there's money. It's going to cost MONEY to go back to school to get a degree in journalism! A lot of money. And we don't have "a lot" of money. What then?
But then ... something else happened.
I logged into my email account again later on in the day, and there in my inbox was a notification from Facebook that someone commented on one of my status updates. It was Carolyn Howard-Johnson. I saw that and held my breath. I thought, Uh-oh. Did she know I was ranting about Peter’s editorial? I know she has met him and maybe she was defending him, or something. (And I even kept telling myself He probably didn’t mean it that way!) But when I opened it to read it, it said this: “Follow your heart.”
I had to reread those words. They just REALLY had a profound affect on me. They really moved me. I guess I needed those words there and then.
Carolyn was commenting on a different status I posted yesterday, but her words just really hit home with me.
The last time I followed my heart, in love, it did not end well. So I had to ask myself, you know, was I giving up? Was I just burying what I really wanted to do in life because I think it won’t happen??
Why not just take her advice and go after what I REALLY want to do with my life? Go after that goal? Just follow my heart and see where it will led?
Those words had such a powerful affect on me. They ended up being words I took to heart.
“Follow your heart.” That is good advice. And I think that is advice that I will take. (Thanks, Carolyn!)
I believe things happen for a reason. Maybe there was a reason why I took Peter's words the way I did, a reason why Carolyn posted that comment at that particular point in time. Maybe it was Fate telling me, Yes! This is your path!
I love it when Fate works like that.
Peter Bowerman's response:
The "snarky" reference was a description of my previous comment, NOT about journalists or journalism. Yes, I was taking a certain segment of the journalism trade to task, but was in no way, extrapolating for the entire field. I'd never do that, and I apologize if that's how it came across.
But, most importantly, I'm afraid you fundamentally misunderstood the section, "It's not about lying....nefarious tinkering."
I was referring to how many journalists view the commercial writing world: they believe writing copy is about lying, embellishing, etc. I was NOT describing journalists with that section. Again, I'd never make so brazen an assertion! ;)
Dawn here: I thought I misunderstood him. :) Sorry, Peter. But like I said in email, at least something good came out of it.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Dawn's Hubby is (Not) on Facebook
When I first signed up for Facebook, it was for one purpose only: To network with fellow writers. Of course, the fact that I had so much family on there became a plus. Then my presence on Facebook took a big turn. My reasons for being on Facebook got to be a little bit personal. I used it to stay in touch with family and friends.
Still, I worried about having that “author presence” on Facebook, as I know I wanted to have. Didn’t like it so much that the personal stuff AND the author stuff were on the same profile.
The solution? An author page on Facebook! Yay! So I created an author page just for that author stuff and I use my personal profile for family, personal and occasional writing stuff.
Eventually, my husband joined Facebook. He didn’t like Facebook at first and didn’t really see much use for it. But then he saw how it would help create a better connection with family and allow them to stay in touch with him better. So he finally created a profile. Yay! My husband was FINALLY joining me on Facebook!
Or … was he?
I started to notice he didn’t participate so much on Facebook. Sure, he added people and stuff, but he still has not really taken to it just yet.
And I’m going to stop right here and say that, YES, my husband REALLY IS on Facebook. He REALLY exists. I didn’t create a fake profile of his, or anything. And he IS a real person!
And I say all that because, in the time he has had a Facebook account, he doesn’t really use it so much.
And he has not really made his presence known on my profile, either. He has never commented on anything or liked anything on my profile. Ever.
But he really, truly exists! He really, truly has his own Facebook account!
He just doesn’t use it so much.
I asked him today about that. it kinda bugged me that he has NEVER commented on anything on my profile or liked anything. Didn’t he WANT to make himself known on my page? Didn't he want to show that he is there, reading stuff and looking at stuff?
So when I asked him why, he told me he doesn’t really like Facebook. He’s not much of a Facebook user. He hardly ever logs in there. He usually does only if someone messages him. He told me NOT to take it personally, but commenting on things and liking things on Facebook are just not something he wants to do.
Well, I DID take it a little bit personally, because, you know, I don’t want people thinking he doesn’t give a crap about the stuff I put on Facebook or that he Just. Doesn’t. Care. Or that he doesn't really exist!
But, you know, I got over that. If people are gonna think that, then people are gonna think that. And there’s not a darn thing I can do about it.
For the record, my husband and I have a good relationship. We get along. We love each other. We spend time with each other. Etc., etc. And that is true whether or not it’s obvious by what he does (and doesn’t do) on Facebook.
He’s just not much of a Facebook user and that’s all there is to it.
Still, I worried about having that “author presence” on Facebook, as I know I wanted to have. Didn’t like it so much that the personal stuff AND the author stuff were on the same profile.
The solution? An author page on Facebook! Yay! So I created an author page just for that author stuff and I use my personal profile for family, personal and occasional writing stuff.
Eventually, my husband joined Facebook. He didn’t like Facebook at first and didn’t really see much use for it. But then he saw how it would help create a better connection with family and allow them to stay in touch with him better. So he finally created a profile. Yay! My husband was FINALLY joining me on Facebook!
Or … was he?
I started to notice he didn’t participate so much on Facebook. Sure, he added people and stuff, but he still has not really taken to it just yet.
And I’m going to stop right here and say that, YES, my husband REALLY IS on Facebook. He REALLY exists. I didn’t create a fake profile of his, or anything. And he IS a real person!
And I say all that because, in the time he has had a Facebook account, he doesn’t really use it so much.
And he has not really made his presence known on my profile, either. He has never commented on anything or liked anything on my profile. Ever.
But he really, truly exists! He really, truly has his own Facebook account!
He just doesn’t use it so much.
I asked him today about that. it kinda bugged me that he has NEVER commented on anything on my profile or liked anything. Didn’t he WANT to make himself known on my page? Didn't he want to show that he is there, reading stuff and looking at stuff?
So when I asked him why, he told me he doesn’t really like Facebook. He’s not much of a Facebook user. He hardly ever logs in there. He usually does only if someone messages him. He told me NOT to take it personally, but commenting on things and liking things on Facebook are just not something he wants to do.
Well, I DID take it a little bit personally, because, you know, I don’t want people thinking he doesn’t give a crap about the stuff I put on Facebook or that he Just. Doesn’t. Care. Or that he doesn't really exist!
But, you know, I got over that. If people are gonna think that, then people are gonna think that. And there’s not a darn thing I can do about it.
For the record, my husband and I have a good relationship. We get along. We love each other. We spend time with each other. Etc., etc. And that is true whether or not it’s obvious by what he does (and doesn’t do) on Facebook.
He’s just not much of a Facebook user and that’s all there is to it.
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