First day setbacks

Before the first day of school for the kids, which was today, I put together a schedule which I felt would enable me to get everything done for their morning routine and get them to school on time, as well as my getting there on time to pick them up. Up until this week, I figured I would be dropping them both off and picking them both up at school.

That changed yesterday.

Yesterday was Jesse’s Meet & Greet, in which he met his new teachers (he has two and they take different shifts – and one of those teachers is a teacher which Jennifer had when she attended the school), saw his classroom and took care of other things he would need to be prepared for with the new school year.  One thing he had on his mind: Riding the school bus. Last year, he rode the bus for the Boys & Girls Club, but I didn’t sign him up for the B&GC this year because he was having problems with kids there. So as far as I knew: No bus this year. Jesse had other ideas! When we were there yesterday, and I was in the office taking care of his medical stuff with the school nurse, he asked about riding the bus to school. Last year, he was not allowed to ride the school bus because we live out of the school district. But we checked the school district website and it did say that kids living out of district can ride the school bus to the school now. Cool! Jesse was really excited about that. One of the secretaries seemed skeptical and she said if I could get Jesse to that bus stop, she would add him to the bus roster. I assured her I could do it. By car, the bus stop is only 5 minutes away. And I already did that one year, too! (Although there was a year that things got crazy because I was babysitting a child who attended another school and there was a scheduling conflict in trying to be in 2 places at the same time! Fortunately, my friend Martine came to my rescue. I am forever indebted to her for that!!)

So now Jesse has to leave the house at a different time to get to the bus stop in time. Before, he had 30 minutes to eat breakfast. (I gave him 30 minutes to eat because he takes FOREVER to eat. And do lots of other things…) Now, since we have to leave for the bus, he has 10 minutes to eat breakfast. I reminded him that this meant he could not fool around. He couldn’t play with his food, watch TV, chatter away about stuff or any other delays like that.

This morning, though, was the day the schedule was put to the test. All this time, we practiced going to bed and getting up according to schedule. But today was the Real Deal. It was pretty much when I was telling my kids, “OK, kids, time to hop to it. Remember your training. This is not a drill!” (When I’d first given them their new schedules, I told them, “Read it. Learn it. Memorize it.”)

So what happened?

Jesse woke up on time, but he ate breakfast earlier than planned. That gave him sufficient time to eat his breakfast AND brush his teeth before we left.

Jennifer threw a wrench into my expectations this morning when she told me that she didn’t want to buy lunch today; she wanted to take a lunch. I was soon in the kitchen, hurriedly preparing a school lunch for her. I reminded her that she needs to tell me these things in advance so that I can plan for them (instead of wasting time on the computer like I was actually doing until it was time to make her breakfast!). At least she gave advance notice that she would want to take lunches to school more often so we could buy things for school lunches at the store today. Fortunately, we did have what she needed for today. So now I have to factor in time to make her lunch in the mornings so that I can also make her breakfast in time! (I still managed to get everything done for her this morning and not only did we leave on time and I got her to school on time, but I got her there early!)

Then there was another debacle because of the bus. Jesse rode the bus to school this morning, but I think he got confused about what was going on later in the day. Like I had on my own personal schedule, I went for my walk this morning, spent some time reading and went to the gym. I got to the bus stop at the time I was supposed to be there for the drop-off.

But the bus didn’t show up!

One of the parents was there, too, and we waited on that corner for the bus to get there and deliver our children to us. I kept checking my phone to see the time and wondering what was going on. Why was it held up? I figured, first day stuff. Things are bound to go wrong on the first day of ANYTHING no matter how well you plan for it in advance. So maybe that was it. I kept trying to assure myself that the bus hadn’t been beamed up by aliens or that it had a flat tire or that the bus driver had gone crazy and took off with the kids still in the bus. (I told Jesse yesterday that I didn’t feel comfortable about him riding the school bus because, in the past, he got into fights with other boys and, also, I read all these stories of deranged bus drivers or accidents happening and it made me pretty nervous about putting my son on a school bus!)

The funny thing is, this morning, that same parent and I had been confused about what side of the street the bus would be on and we had been on the wrong side this morning. We figured we were on the RIGHT side for the drop-off now but even so, we both kept looking both ways up the street for the bus. (He even joked about it at one point.)

Finally, after almost 15 minutes, the bus appeared. We patiently waited for the bus to pull up and open its doors. I waited while kids started climbing off until I noticed Jesse was not among them. The bus driver, who Jesse and I both know from before, motioned to me and tried to tell me something but I could not lipread her. She grabbed a pen and wrote on a notebook of paper that Jesse had been confused about how he was getting home today. He thought I was picking him up so he didn’t get on the bus. I told her that was not the case and he was supposed to ride the bus and I thanked her for letting me know.

Wow, what a waste of time THAT had been! And all that time, Jesse had been at the school, waiting for me! Dammit!!

I drove to the school and parked the van in the lot. Before I got out of the van, I checked my phone. And NOW I got a text from the school about how Jesse had NOT taken the bus and was there for me to pick him up. I grumbled and mentally cursed as I got out of the van and ran to the office. Jesse was outside waiting for me and he ran over to hug me, smiling. There was a teacher’s aide with him and I told her that Jesse was supposed to take the bus home. I was not sure if I was supposed to inform his teachers. (Kids riding the school buses are dismissed a little earlier and put into separate lines heading out of the school.) I reminded Jesse that he DOES ride the bus now and we would tell him if that changed. (We would also notify his school office and teachers before dismissal.) I hope he will remember that from now on.

Other than those setbacks, everything else had gone just fine. I was able to get some lunch after I got home and have time to rest before leaving to get Jennifer. I got done the things I was supposed to get done.

The schedule sure was put to the test today. Despite slight changes to everything, it is still a schedule that works, so we’ll be using it from now on. I hope everybody just remembers all the small changes we have to make to it because of the last-minute surprises!

Another bus incident!

After I dropped Jennifer off at school this morning, I was driving home and saw this mom frantically running with her baby in a stroller. I wondered why she was running so fast until I saw a bus pull up to the bus stop not too far ahead of her, and the mom reach that bus stop in time to board it. It made me SO grateful I don’t have to ride the city bus anymore. There was only one time I had to RUN to catch a bus, and that was only because I’d ended up getting on the WRONG bus that took me back to the bus station instead of to my stop!

Well, today, I was chasing after another bus. And it wasn’t exactly a city bus that I was running to catch up to!

Today I had an appointment to meet with somebody. Because I’d never been to this place before, I had a slight fear I might get lost. But I went anyway, confidently holding the directions in my hand.

And I ended up getting lost. ARGH!

My appointment was at 1, but because I got lost, I didn’t get there until 1:30. This was not a good thing, because my son would be getting out of school soon. So I was pretty nervous about the time while I was talking with this lady I had to meet. (While also being aware of one other thing I had to do before getting my son.)

It was nearly 2 when I got out of there. The other thing I had to do was at the Downtown Library, so I was pretty mush RUSHING through the library to do what I had to do. My son’ s bus was due at the bus stop at 2:30, and I left the library with only 8 minutes to get there. Yikes!

I tried to drive fast to get to the bus stop, but OF COURSE I ended up driving behind a slooooooow driver. ARGH! I was a nervous wreck I would not make it in time!

By the time I got to the street the bus stop is on, the bus was already there – at the first stop!

I had too many cars in front of me to park behind the bus when it stopped at Jesse’s bus stop, so I realized I was going to have to park on the side of the road, jump out of the car and RUN to the bus stop! If I was not there to get Jesse, the bus would take him back to his school. And I had to be somewhere else at 3:15 and I was STARVING! (Why can’t there be two of me??)

So that’s what I did. I parked the car, jumped out and RAN up the street to the bus stop. And I made it there in time. WOO-HOO!!

So I’m standing a little ways behind the doors of the bus, watching as the kids climbed out, looking for Jesse. But Jesse never got off the bus. And then the doors CLOSED!

A thought flashed through my mind: GAH! SHE CAN’T SEE ME!!

I practically threw myself to stand in front of the doors before the bus could pull away. I frantically waved my arms through the air, yelling, “I’m here! I’m here!”

The doors opened and there was the bus driver, laughing over the whole thing. Jesse was standing near her, looking at me funny. I admit I laughed a little, too, but mostly I was glad I was able to get her attention. Yes! Score one for the Mom Team!

So Jesse climbed off the bus and we calmly walked back to my car. I know this was a crazy thing to happen today, and a little funny, too, but to be honest, I’m not surprised it happened. What is it with me and chasing buses, anyway?

Bus confusion

“What is it with me and buses?”  I grumbled to myself today. I don’t know WHY but something keeps going on when it involves a bus – whether it’s a city bus or a school bus. (I’ve ridden the Greyhound bus but don’t recall anything bad happening then. But still!) Maybe this being the first day means I need to work things out, but who knows.

Well, today, Jesse started riding the bus to and from school. Before today, I asked the secretary arranging bus transport about the bus stops and locations, since Jesse has PM kindergarten so it might be different. I was told the bus stop was the same one Jennifer went to when she was riding the bus to that school – but this time the secretary pointed out that pick-up was on the WEST side of the street, not the east side. But I didn’t so much pay attention to that. I was more concerned about Jesse’s ride BACK.

And I guess I had good reason to be!

This morning, as we patiently waited on the corner for his bus, it happened that we were on the wrong side of the street! (East side.) But the bus driver seemed to know Jesse was her ride so she waited as we crossed the street then came up to the bus. Before Jesse got on the school bus, I confirmed this was indeed going to his school and she pointed Jesse out by name. She talked to Jesse a few minutes then explained to me that she always picked up for his school on this side of the street. I thanked her for the information, told Jesse goodbye again, then stepped back as the doors closed and the bus drove off.

I figured that was that. No more bus problems for today. Wow, if only!

When it was time for Jesse to return on his bus, I first had to pick up a child I was babysitting today, because she gets out of school before Jesse’s bus arrives. Now, the problem is that, whenever I pick her up from school, it takes FOREVER to finally get to her at her school pick-up area because of all the cars, people and school buses. I mean, it gets crowded, and it usually takes me 10-15 minutes to FINALLY reach her! So I decided on a plan: I would get there right when school let out, park the car and get out to go find her. Thankfully, I did find her in good time, though we stopped to chat briefly with a friend. By the time I got to my car, I checked the time: I had 2 minutes to get to Jesse’s bus stop for his drop-off!

I got there in three. And right when I pulled up, I noticed a school bus driving away down the road. I panicked! I thought, Oh my God! Did I miss him??  I couldn’t see Jesse ANYWHERE. Would he wait for me or start walking home? And how far would he get in one minute if he DID walk?

I took off in the car, driving all around the neighborhood, slowly scanning the park as we drove past it (the park is down the street from the bus stop as well as down the street from my house). I didn’t see him! I started to panic. I circled the bus stop again. No Jesse. On my drive back, I rolled down windows and the little girl and I started calling for him as I drove. We didn’t see him anywhere!

At one point, I pulled over, got my phone out of my purse and contacted the secretary. We both thought maybe Jesse forgot to get on the bus or maybe he missed it or … something! I let her know I could not find him at the bus stop.

Then I started driving again. My heart was pounding in my chest. I was so scared my little boy was kidnapped or something! (We don’t exactly live in Mayberry!) I was scared to death and I knew I would never forgive myself if anything happened to him. I could not imagine a future without my little boy. And it was not safe for him to walk home alone; he’s only 5! I was driving and praying. Please, God, help me find my son. I was just so wracked with worry.

The little girl suggested I check the house again but then I had a feeling to check the bus stop one more time. So I drove back over there and, thank God, THERE was Jesse’s bus pulling up at the corner!! I had not missed his bus! That other bus was not his; THIS bus was his! Oh, thank God. We were SO relieved. I was a bit irked his bus was late (by 10 minutes! They seemed to tick away so slowly as I was frantically searching for him!) but there it was at last. I was so thrilled at the sight of my sweet boy stepping off the school bus. I was smiling and waving at him as he walked over to the car and both I and the little girl sent up prayers of thanks. And when my son got to my door, I just hugged him and kissed him so much. I was SO glad to see him! Of course, he was confused by my actions but he just smiled and hugged me back, too.

That incident really scared me. It’s always scary when you don’t know where your child is. I am just so relieved he was okay and that nothing happened.

Well, later on, I talked with my husband about it. He was bothered that I was a minute late to the bus stop but then he said, “You can’t do everything.” I know I can’t. I know I have to figure something out. I won't compromise the safety of my children – or the children in my care. I need to figure something out for both of them.

I also talked to the little girl’s mom. She agreed it was a scary experience. I asked her about an idea on a certain “pick-up schedule” for both kids but she hasn’t gotten back to me on that yet. But I know we need to get our heads together and figure something out.

I am only glad that today had a happy ending.

An unanswered question

Before I get into this blog post’s subject, let me first say that I truly feel it is important to live in the moment. Focus on right now, this very day. And not the past. I wish I could say I am completely that person, but there are times I revisit things from my past and grumble over WHY certain things happened or wishing I could change things. Especially with people who aren’t alive anymore. But I always have to STOP myself and just change my focus. Get back into the present. And this is what I TRY to do, every day. Focus on the present.

But it seems that sometimes, things from my past tend to creep up on me, even things that I have not thought about for a long time. Even little things.

And that’s the case with something that came up recently, and that brings me to the subject of this blog post.

Last week, I noticed certain elements popping up that reminded me of something from December 2006. At that time, I was divorced and did not have transportation, so I was going through bus training to learn how to ride the city bus. (Up until then, I’d NEVER used public transportation to get around, and while I DID walk sometimes to get where I needed to go, weather here in Oregon, where it gets icy and sometimes snows in the winter, made getting into a vehicle for transportation a necessity.) So, yeah, I was going through bus training. It was not going very well, and on one particular evening, I climbed aboard the wrong bus. When the bus got to the bus station, I noticed there was just one other passenger sitting in the front. He was talking with the bus driver. At one point, he looked at me, then looked back at the bus driver to resume conversation. I realized the bus was back at the station for good. And that I’d gotten on the wrong bus.

So I walked up to the front and asked the bus driver if he was taking the bus out again and he said he was going home. I chuckled over my mistake then asked him about what bus would get me to West 11th, which was where I lived at that time. He gave me a number as he pointed in the direction of the RIGHT bus and I flew off that bus, the wrong bus, into the direction of the right one. All that time I was running, I was FOCUSED on getting to the bus. I was thinking, Must get on bus! Must get on bus!

Now there are two things in this story that I must point out. One is that the guy at the front of the bus LOOKED like someone – a certain singer. A singer by the name of Jordan Knight. And, as I ran to the other bus, I later, MUCH later, realized a guy I saw sitting on a bench on my path to the right bus ... kinda looked like his brother, Jonathan.

But I did not know that for sure. Not at that time. I didn’t recognize them. I am terrible at recognizing people, especially people I don’t know well. I mean, it COULD have been them, but if it was, why were they there? And don’t they have their own transportation?

Of course, I could think maybe they were there for a reason, and that reason could have something to do with a certain incident further back in time. (And as for that incident, I’m not even sure anymore if it was what I thought it was, despite what I found out. But that’s for a whole ‘nother blog post.)

Now the only thing that started bugging me again was that MAYBE that was them! And I did not recognize them. So why not find out if they had been there at that time? The reason why I was bugged about this again was because of certain poems in my new poetry book reminding me of that other incident and the novel coming out soon (the name of a character) AND certain tweets I was seeing on Twitter by certain people who know them. I mean, these three things came clashing together and was like a huge fireball knocking me off my feet! I spent a long time pacing back and forth in the kitchen arguing with myself about this. WHY even bring that up? WHY even make this an issue? Why now? What is the point of even trying to find out if that was them or not?

So I ran right past two celebrities. Big deal! I’ve done that before! I’d run right past people or SEE people then later, I’d be like, Hey, wasn’t that so-and-so? I used to live in L.A. and the L.A. area, so I’ve seen celebrities before. Sometimes without even recognizing them. And I saw them in the California desert, too. (You can’t live near Palm Springs and NOT see a celebrity or two.) The same goes with people I DO know. It's, like, later on, I'll be like, "Hey, wasn't that....?"

So I asked myself, why is this important? And, anyway, the New Kids on the Block have crossed my path before. Their tour bus went by the family car YEARS ago when we were in the process of making our one of many moves from one place to another, and I'm pretty darn sure I saw one of them (and Biscuit!) in Connecticut many years ago.

It would not be the first time we’ve gone right past each other without any recognition going on. (For the record, I am not one of those people who spend hours staring at their pictures, and I don’t go all crazy when I see celebrities. To me, they are just another guy or just another girl – though someone with exceptional talent so you don’t exactly fuck around with them!)

So why did THIS particular incident matter now?

I didn’t want to bring this up now. I have a lot going on right now. I have a lot more coming up real soon and even MORE stuff going on next year. Plus, I have issues going on with my son. So it’s not like I have the time to waste on trivial things.

And, anyway, that was from 2006! Almost 6 years ago! They probably don’t even remember it!

Which is why I decided to end my quest to find out. Yes, I DID decide to follow through on finding out, because in the end, I decided it was time to get an answer once and for all. This has been hanging over me for years and it’s time to just drop all that. I really do have stuff coming up in my life where I can’t be dwelling on these little puzzles from my past. I’ll need to be 100% focused and 100% in the moment. I consider 2013 my year to get ready for 2014, and part of getting ready is finding closure with unfinished business and resolving old issues and stuff. So I decided to try and find out.

Then, as I asked around, I started feeling silly. I was like, 2006? SERIOUSLY????

Now, chances are pretty good that WAS them. So, I am going to just tell myself, you know what? Yes, that WAS Jordan and Jonathan Knight! Dang! I missed them again!

And in the off, off, off, OFF chance that they read this post: Guys, I am sorry I didn’t recognize you. I think you guys rock! And hopefully one day, when our paths cross yet again, I WILL recognize you guys and maybe get to say hello.

There. My conscience is clean. Case closed! Now I will move on from THAT thing in my past and focus on other stuff.

I have a feeling that they have, too.