Letting the haters hate

Earlier this morning, I was doing something that is part of my “morning activities”: I was on Pinterest. So there I was just innocently pinning away and then I started to experience trouble pinning some things. Apparently, some people who I don’t know have blocked me on Pinterest. At first, I joked about it. Seriously, I had a good laugh. “I’m so evil!” I chortled. But I started to wonder why these people blocked me. I didn’t know them and weren’t following them or anything. I guess new people who join Pinterest get an email telling them, “Welcome to Pinterest! Be sure to block Dawn Wilson!” LOL

But, ya know, the whole blocking thing on Pinterest really doesn’t bother me. Like I said, it makes me laugh. I didn’t do anything to these people. I wasn’t mean to them. I didn’t send them spam or anything. So, I dunno. Whateva.

But it doesn’t hurt me. And if those people think it hurts me, then they really need to get a life!

That got me to thinking: There are other things people do on the Internet – specifically, social media – that can be seen as bullying or as being negative. Now, getting your ass torn out in a comment war is one thing. That is not cool. But the whole blocking on Pinterest, unfriending on Facebook and tagging people on Twitter with negative tweets can be used as a way of bullying and hurting others.

Me, I don’t give a shit.

Seriously, haters gonna hate! And you know what? I don’t care. Let me rephrase that: I. Don’t. Care.

I am too busy living my life and doing my own thing to give a flying fuck about people on the Internet deciding to put me on their shit list. Especially when it comes to people I don’t know.

You wanna block me on Pinterest for no reason? Go right ahead!

You wanna unfriend me on Facebook because I hurt your mom’s feelings? Fine!

You wanna point and laugh at my small number of followers on Twitter and tell everybody “don’t buy her books because she hurt me” or “don’t buy her books because she’s a two-faced liar” or “don’t buy her books because she worships the devil”? Have at it!

Meanwhile, I’m gonna be over here not giving a crap!

I am going to continue doing my own thing, just as I have always done my own thing. I will continue to write books because I want to write books. I will continue to pin things on Pinterest because I want to pin things on Pinterest. I will continue to be active on Twitter and Facebook because I WANT to be active on Twiter and Facebook.

And I REALLY don’t care if that bothers someone!

I have the right to live my life. Deal with it.

If people are all gonna be a bunch of crybabies or whiners or haters on the Internet because of something I did or said or shared or…WHATEVER then they can either take it up with me personally and we can work that out or they can waste their time and their life by hating on me and doing silly shit thinking it will hurt MY feelings. And if they choose the latter, then I guess they REALLY need to have more drama in their lives. I guess they HAVE to have something to cry into their pillows about. I guess they want that one Horrible Thing from the past to hold against someone for the rest of their lives. That’s too bad, but I’m not going to disappear because of it.

I am still here. I am still doing my own thing. And regardless of what kind of crap I have to take from people on the Internet, I will ALWAYS be here. I will NOT go away. I will not kill myself over their petty shit. I will not bury myself into a hole and hope the world forgets my shame.

Nope. I’m not going anywhere. I write what I want to write. I don’t do shit to get people’s attention or to get on someone’s nerves or to intentionally hurt another person. (Gotta keep in mind all the pussies out there who can’t take a joke!!) I’m not doing stuff to make up for anything because if I HAVE hurt someone’s feelings AND they actually take the time to talk to me about it instead of holding a grudge FOREVER and spreading hate, then it’s all good. I AM willing to work things out with people. I AM willing to acknowledge if I made a mistake, apologize and make things right with people.

But if instead they choose to do things on the Internet like blocking me or unfriending me or whatever, then they are just wasting their time. None of that shit hurts me at all. So you go right ahead and keep doing your passive-aggressive bullying tactics thinking it’ll make me fall apart into a million pieces. You go right ahead! It’s not going to work! I am going to continue living my life and doing my own thing! And none of that negativity coming from the haters is gonna stop me at all.

We got Grinched!

On Friday, I had some bad news for my kids after they got out of school: The Grinch had struck at our home. No, I don’t mean the band a friend of mine used to be a member of. I mean this dude:

Recently, someone in the neighborhood watchgroup called whoever it was that cut the cord on his Christmas lights a “Grinch.” For us, the Grinch was in the form of the cable company. Apparently, we had an old fee that my husband was not aware of (he pays the cable bill so he is pretty much in charge of what’s up with the cable account). And instead of sending a reminder, instead of posting one of those little red shut-off notices on our doorknob, they cut both our cable and Internet. That was their delightful way of wishing us a Merry Christmas.

I was pretty upset over that. The BIG thing that bothered me was that they did it without warning. It was, like, BOOM! Internet and cable gone all of a sudden.

But I was just glad I had taken care of what I needed to do on the Internet that day before it happened. The kids, however, had not yet had a chance to do anything on the Internet that day, because they were in school. Then they had to come home and find out there was no cable and no Internet. What a crummy way for them to start Winter Break!

I have a picture on my phone of a dog sticking out its tongue and at the bottom it says “Meanie head.” I wished I could’ve sent that picture to the cable company. But I was tempted to storm into the office and scream at them after Jesse saw for himself he could not get access to his Internet game site and started to cry. I wanted to yell at them. “I hope you’re happy! You made my little boy cry!”

You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch.

But fortunately, we are well-stocked in DVDs, so of course we were able to watch movies instead. One movie was Hugo. I remember when Jen finished reading that book, The Invention of Hugo Cabret, she encouraged me to read it too. It’s one of the books I have read in a day. It is a really good book and the movie is good, too. We watched it twice! Love that movie! (It’s not often we see a movie based on the book and end up loving both the book and the movie. For me, White Oleander comes to mind. Jen and I agree both the book and the movie for The Book Thief were also good.)

Also fortunately, the project Jennifer has been working on for days does not require Internet to finish. So she was still able to work on her project. (I don’t know what it is because it’s Top Secret. It’s something she is making for me for Christmas.) Also, one of Jen’s best friend’s had a sleepover here this weekend, so they mostly spent time hanging out and doing “sleepover stuff.” They also watched a movie on a portable DVD player.

And at least I have the Google, Gmail and Facebook/Messenger apps on my phone. So I was still able to have access to them. As well as Pinterest and Twitter (though I can’t see the profile changes Pinterest has made. I have to log in at the computer to see it, so I don’t know yet what is up with that). The thing of it is, though, that I HATE typing on the tiny keys on my phone, so I kept things brief and tried to avoid answering emails that were going to have lengthy answers or include links.

Some other good things came out of this experience. We have a lot of board games that were available for us to play. And we also have A LOT of books. In fact, Jesse has a stack of books from the library he still needed to read, so he tackled those over the weekend. He read 2 of them. I also did a lot of reading. In fact, I read 100 pages of an ARC of a new sci-fi novel that came out on December 1st that I am reviewing for Night Owl Reviews. I don’t normally read ARC’s of books, but I love to read sci-fi, and this one sounded like a good story. I was right, too: The novel is REALLY GOOD!! (Now I’m beginning to think I should not pass up on reading ARC’s anymore, because I’d miss out on a good story!)

Aside from reading, Jesse was still able to play games on the computer. (That is mostly all he does on the computer: He plays games. For Internet, he plays ROBLOX and Animal Jam.) He played GTA but he also learned how to play Solitaire. I actually had to reintroduce myself to playing Solitaire because I have not played that game for so long. I’d forgotten how addictive it is! Jesse saw me playing it and wanted to check it out. So I taught Jesse how to play Solitaire. He needed some coaching as he played but pretty soon he got the hang of it. He got really excited when he won.

I also spent some time organizing my files on the computer, updating stuff, and clearing out pictures on my phone to free up storage space. 

So, yeah, our cable/Internet got cut out of the blue, but we survived. And I’m glad the cable is on in time for us to see the Doctor Who Christmas episode.

I have a love/hate relationship with the cable company. I love what they offer us, but I HATE their inflated prices and sucky customer service. We actually plan to use an alternative source of cable in the near future, though we DO still need Internet. And it kinda sucked that they just cut us off like that. Not cool to do it without warning! But we got through it. They tried to knock us off our feet with that proverbial punch in the gut, but we got back up, dusted ourselves off, and STILL managed to have a good weekend anyway!

And I have come across stories from people who the Grinch has also visited, too. Some instances are much worse than ours and I’m glad ours only involved something minor like this. My heart and prayers go out to the people I know who are faring much worse.

Bento box lunches?

This morning, while I was drinking my first cup of coffee, I was going through my email accounts and I came across an article written by a mom who started giving her kids Bento box lunches. I have heard of the Bento box lunches but never really got into them. But after reading this article, I decided to look into that further. In fact, I’d been thinking of creating a board on Pinterest about school lunches so I decided to “just do it” today and created the board, but in this case pinning stuff about Bento box lunches. And I gotta say, wow! This is a really big thing! There were tons of images and articles on Bento box lunch ideas. It really grabbed my interest in using them all the more!

So when Jesse finished getting dressed for school, I asked him if he was interested in me packing him some Bento box lunches for school. I showed him a picture of a Bento box lunch in another article and he scowled. “That’s for babies,” he said. I assured him that kids of all ages were using Bento boxes for their school lunches and there were even adults packing their work lunch into Bento boxes. I also showed him the many different types of Bento box lunches I had pinned on my board.

Still, he wasn’t very interested in them. He thought the cool shapes were neat but he just wasn’t interested.

I guess some school years will be different with his lunches. One year, he only wanted Lunchables for his lunch. At one point during that time, however, one of the lunch volunteers took me aside when I was visiting one day and told me that Jesse was not eating the meat in his Lunchables. She also told me she had been sitting with him to encourage him to eat the lunch meat in his meals. Even though I was irritated that she was forcing my son to eat something he doesn’t like, I thanked her for the info. (My son is not a big meat-eater. He likes hot dogs and chicken nuggets, and every once in a while he eats bacon or a corn dog, but he’s just not into eating that much meat.)

This year, however, any time he wants to take a lunch to school, Jesse always requests the same thing:

Juice box
Peanut butter sandwich, without crust and cut into 4 triangles
Crackers (either Ritz, Cheez-It, Goldfish or Wheat Thins)
Raisins
Treat (either a cookie, fruit snack, Twinkie, cupcake or some other sweet item)

And so far, he hasn’t asked for anything different! I did consider asking him if he’d like those foods in a Bento box, but not sure if that will catch on for him.

Later, I told my daughter about the Bento box lunches too. I told her it was like a Lunchables but with more variety and you don’t always get the same thing. She was curious about it and said that she might want to start taking a Bento box lunch to school. I made a mental note to look for them at the store. I know that some parents are even creating their own Bento-style-boxes with used containers and muffin cups. It’s something else to think about too. I’m just glad I have some lunch ideas now!

I think the Bento box lunches are cool. At first, I thought maybe it would be bad in case it’s lost at the school or maybe they’ll end up in the trash can instead of being brought back home, but it might work out okay. I am totally for trying new foods and trying new things and if this is something that the kids want to use, or even one of my kids, then I think it might be a nice change from what they normally eat for lunch.

Pinterest drama

Over the weekend, something very strange happened while I was on Pinterest. I got an invitation to join a group board – I get a lot of those – but before I accepted the invitation, I checked out the board first. I wanted to have a good look at it first. I ended up liking A LOT of pins on that board and started pinning like crazy. I guess the person who owned the board got offended that I did not accept her invite right away because she ended up blocking me. (It’s too bad; I also checked out her profile and she had some really awesome boards and I wanted to follow her but I couldn’t because she had blocked me.)

I tried to figure out if I had done something wrong. Did I break some kind of Pinterest etiquette rule? Was I in the wrong to FIRST pin from that board before addressing the invitation? I would’ve accepted the invitation but could not do that anymore. Still, I was already following that board, and I was not banned from it, so I was still able to pin from that board.

But, still. I was confused. This was a really bizarre thing to happen. I was trying to figure out if I had done something wrong or if I was being affected by somebody else’s drama.

So I contacted the folks at Pinterest to see if I had committed some kind of goof. I have NEVER run into this problem so the whole thing had me a bit flummoxed. Because it was the weekend, I knew it would be a while before I heard back from TPTB at Pinterest. I contacted a friend of mine who is also on Pinterest and who I follow and I asked her about it. She said it sounded strange to her, too, and she hasn’t run into something like this either despite being on Pinterest for a long time. After that talk, I figured that maybe it was the board owner taking issue and that I had not done anything wrong. It struck me as silly that we would HAVE to accept a group board invitation. I don’t think we should be forced to.

Well, I heard back from Pinterest today. The person said A: The board owner is allowed to block anyone for whatever reason. B: I was not obligated to accept an invitation to join a group board. And C: I was still allowed to pin from that board if I wanted to.

I am so glad I got answers! So apparently the bottom line is that the whole “crisis” was about someone else’s drama. NMP!

I have to admit, though, that I’ve since been wary of group boards. I REALLY don’t want to run into a situation like this again. To be honest, this is the first time since I started using Pinterest years ago that I have run into drama on Pinterest. The BIG thing I have always loved about Pinterest is that it’s been drama-free (up until now, I guess). So many people on there are SO NICE and KIND and UNDERSTANDING. And fellow fangirls get the way we talk and act crazy over pins related to our fandoms. So now I guess the drama will be everywhere, even on Pinterest.

That said, I am now wary of group boards. Unless I know the person IRL or we’ve been Internet buddies for years, I won’t follow anymore group boards. I’m not gonna deal with other people freaking out over me not accepting their invitations to join their group boards. Yeah, I know it means less boards for me to follow, but that’s okay. There are lots more out there.

And now I can just walk away from this whole situation untroubled and keep doing my own thing!

Drawing the line on Facebook haters

Why is it that pretty much most of the drama and BS I have to deal with on Facebook comes from my family and relatives? I am not talking about my husband and kids. I LOVE my husband and kids and I enjoy their company. It’s PEOPLE like siblings, cousins, and aunts that can really come at me with their latest round of “let’s pick on Dawn” and really create more bullshit in my life.

I say all of this because I had to block/unfriend a relative on Facebook today. I have had it with this relative’s complaints over my use of swear words on Facebook.

Heads up: I swear. Guess what? I swear A LOT. Fucking deal with it.

I refuse to change anything about myself just because it makes someone uncomfortable. And it really, really irritates me that they think it’s okay to drag a dead person into their shitstorm, too. I mean, seriously??

I am not the same person that they used to know. People cannot come back into my life expecting me to be the same person they were so close to once upon a time. They forfeited the right to have ANY influence over my life when they walked out of it.

I have had to deal with So Much on my own. It has changed me. It has made me into someone else. And I’m not going to throw all of those life experiences, life lessons and truisms I had to learn the hard way and go back to being the person I once was just because someone is uncomfortable with the person that I am now. 

And just so you know: People who are dead -- grandparents and my parents -- know EVERYTHING past and present and understand that this is my current life journey and that I still have some more life to live and changes to go through. They don't see the person I am now and think that all is lost or that they have a broken heart because of the person I am now.

I have lost a lot. I have struggled a lot. I have had to deal with a lot. And you cannot look at someone with all that wrapped into one and expect them to come out of it being the same naïve, innocent, delusional, trusting and religious person that they once were. Because, guess what? Life does not work like that. And before anyone says “stop acting like it’s only you,” I am not acting like it is only me. I am not the only one who has had all that happen. I never thought I was. I KNOW other people have been hurt, had loss, etc., and came out of it a different person. That can be said about EVERYONE.

With all that said, I am NOT going to allow people to make ME the one they go after on Facebook with their judgments, criticisms and complaints. If they don’t like something on my FB page, too bad! They can keep scrolling. But if they have to post their crap on MY page, I am going to block/unfriend them. I won’t lie down and take their crap. They will be GONE.

This may seem harsh, but I will not take any of it anymore. I don’t care who it is coming from. I won’t take it! I am not anyone’s punching bag. I am not anyone’s obstructive child that needs to be disciplined. (FYI: I’m 41.) I am not some black sheep someone grew up picking on, hating, bullying or shaming that is used to that crap and is perfectly fine with taking some more of it. No, I’m not that person. And I don’t care how YOU feel about it.

This is the life I am living right now. This is how I am right now. I am not going to be this way forever. I will not think, see, talk, act or live this way forever. But this is the kind of life that I am living right now. This is the kind of person that I am right now. And you can either love me or leave me the fuck alone.

The fallout from being slandered on Facebook

Some time ago on Facebook, I posted a mini-rant about someone. One person on my Friends list knew this person and pointed out that it wasn’t fair that I was saying as much when this person was not able to defend himself in response to what I said. That was a very good point and since then I have kept that in mind before I post stuff. (Though I gotta say: I no longer post ANYTHING like that that has to do with personal relationships because I would rather talk with the person privately instead of whining about it on Facebook. Whining does not solve anything!) Unfortunately, there are some people out there who do not think that way. Today I came across someone who I do not know and who is not on my Friends list but whose page I checked out because, from what I learned through a private discussion with a friend, he was slandering her on his page. I checked it out and, yes, unfortunately, he WAS slandering her on his Facebook page. By name. I was outraged because this dude was acting like such a hypocrite and he was trashing MY FRIEND. The worst part was that my friend could not defend herself because he unfriended her. That is just not cool.

The big thing that I worried about because of this, though, is that from now on, everybody on his page who saw that would forever believe that this particular person is EVIL. That she DISCRIMINATES. I won’t post my friend’s name here because I respect her privacy, but I WILL say that this dude was WRONG and anybody who believes him is WRONG. And I also gotta say that I have been where my friend is now. I was not attacked by name but, boy, did I get my ass chewed out on Facebook over a stupid meme. My worry then was the same that I had for my friend now: That everybody who saw all of that would believe what I was wrongfully accused of.

But I want to tell my friend the same thing I told myself after all of that blew over. I want to tell her this: If everybody who sees that post believes what that guy says about you, screw them. They do not know you. They do not understand you. They probably want some reason or another to gracefully bow out of your life without looking like a total jerk because they’re going to ride their Righteous Horse for all it is worth and BELIEVE what they think of you no matter what. And you have to let that go. Don’t waste your time trying to tell them they are wrong or defend yourself to them because They. Don’t. Care. They want to have this NEGATIVE view of you and milk it for all it is worth to make THEM look like some martyr or a prince and YOU look like a sack of shit. I’m sorry, but it is true. That’s how people are.

And, you know, if they were looking for some excuse to drop you, then maybe it’s a good thing this all happened. Because at least now you know that they didn’t really care about you at all. It hurts, yes, but there are people who wouldn’t bat an eye over hurting someone. It’s a cold, hard fact about this world. You know, people suck. You could try convincing them that they are wrong and you can talk until you are blue in the face, but they won’t listen. They won’t care. They will believe what the other person said. Or they will believe this incorrect and negative view that they have of you forever and ever and ever.

And, you know what? You don’t need people like that in your life. If they are the kind of person who does not want to take time to get to know you, understand you and accept you the way you are, then don’t chase after them when they choose to walk out of your life. In fact, show them the door!

People who DO know you will understand that you are not that person. People who DO care about you will realize what’s going on and remain your friend, confidante, whatever, No. Matter. What. I mean, they’ll see that crap that guy said and think that, obviously, there was a misunderstanding. There was some form of miscommunication. Or maybe that guy is just being a jerk.

So don’t sweat jerks like that. Yes, it’s wrong of them to slander you like that on Facebook, but really, there’s not much you can do about it. Just write them off. Accept their unfriending you with a glad heart. Because now you know what kind of person they REALLY are, and you are better off that they have walked out of your life. Good riddance!

My Pinterest boards

Not too long ago, I signed up at Pinterest. Some people I knew were using it so I decided to get in on that, too. It's been something of an addictive pastime for me. I started using Pinterest just to kill time when I added it to my smartphone but lately it's been hard to resist. So far, I have managed to take care of my other responsibilities and use Pinterest at least once a day (because I have found if I miss a day, there's a TON of new pins I'll have to wade through when I log in again), but lately it's been pretty hard to STOP pinning. Ack! It's getting addictive. I will have to nip that in the bud eventually, because I have too much else going on!

The boards I have on Pinterest either reflect things I am interested in, things I am researching and things that I love. I love lighthouses, so I have a "Lighthouse love" board. Doesn't mean I live in a lighthouse! (Though that would probably be neat!) And I love baseball, so I have a "Baseball love" board (which also includes softball stuff, as a nod to my cousin, the minor league softball player). And I love horses – though I DO NOT own horses or have any horses or see horses at all in my everyday life. But I love horses and so I have a board called "Horses." Decided not to call it "Horse love" because, well, that doesn't sound right. And it's just a kooky way of describing a form of love, methinks. I created the "Horses" board because, one day, I was browsing my "Animals" board and I realized that, gosh, I sure had a lot of horse pins! So, just as I did with the cat pins, I created a board just for the horse pins!

I have a Pinterest board called "Book love" that includes books I have read and loved. As well as anything about being a bookworm, libraries, a blibliophile and cool ways to store books or have a reading corner. I LOVE books!!

I also have a board called "Books I wanna read." These are books I don't have but wanna read.

After seeing some pins, maybe I should make a board that's called "Books I own AND wanna read.... eventually." Because I see pins of books that I have but have not read YET. I will read them soon, though. One book at a time.

And this is me on Pinterest.

Meeting Internet people

Despite the many stories going about of how some gullible teenager was lured into the arms of some predator she met online or some insane psycho killer hacking up someone who met him to buy something advertised on Craigslist, I am not against meeting in person the people I know through the Internet. I have actually managed to meet a couple of people who I met either through email or through a social media site. No bad experiences YET!

But there HAVE been times when I tried to meet someone in Internet land in real life, but something or other mucks up that encounter. And we never end up meeting in person at all! (Have to wonder if they decided it’s best not to even try again. Or that maybe just knowing each other only through Internet is better. Hmm.)

Well, today, I FINALLY did manage to meet someone I have known online. I have actually communicated with her on and off through Facebook. It helps that she lives in the same neighborhood! (This reminds me of the time I lived in Desert Hot Springs and was going to College of the Desert. I was a member of the online community CollegeClub and was surprised to “meet” on that site a fellow COD student! The bigger surprise was that this dude lived right down the street from me! We did end up meeting in person and it went off nicely but I never saw the guy again and I never got to meet his fiancee, either. Still kept in touch with them both for a while there, though.)

I was actually hoping to meet her yesterday but there was an emergency that came up. One minute, Jesse was sitting on the couch, eating a snack and watching TV. The next, he came running to me with blood on his hand and in his mouth! We could not get him to a dentist that time but we DID stop the bleeding in his mouth. He saw the dentist this morning and we found out what was wrong. Still, I was waaayyyy too nervous to focus on anything else, let alone meeting a new friend, to leave my son’s side and not keep an eye on him. So we decided to meet today.

So, what finally brought about this meeting? She was selling something we’ve actually been thinking of buying for some time. We decided to buy it from her and I’m glad we did because, yay! I finally got to meet her in person! She was really nice and the meeting went well. I look forward to seeing her again sometime or even around the neighborhood.




One of my friends is someone else I met through Facebook, too. She is a friend of a friend. We met through Facebook thanks to my friend and, since she lived in the neighborhood, we met in person, too. We hit it off right away. She is just awesome! She has since been one of my dearest friends.

With some people on the Internet, yes, you DO need to be careful about meeting them in person. I think I would feel more comfortable if I knew them via email or social media first, and for quite some time even then, or if the meeting was entirely for professional purposes and therefore in a public setting. The Internet is certainly one way to reach out to other people in the world and creating new friendships with other people we may have otherwise never have had the chance to know had it not been for an online presence.

I have not lost my way

One thing that I like to do when I’m logged in at Facebook is to share funny, cute and inspiring photos. The photos I choose to share either reflect my sense of humor or my philosophies. Or I share stuff just to have a good laugh with others. But sometimes, I’ll see something that I’d like to share, but the one thing that stops me is, believe it or not, a typo. I mean, seriously! If a word isn’t spelled correctly, then that really bugs me! Sometimes, though, I understand typos are intentional, like for funny animal pictures, and I’m cool with that. Still, a typo will give me pause. What WILL NOT give me pause is the site the picture came from or what sort of item is being “advertised” somewhere in a picture.

I don’t post a picture just to endorse a website or a certain drink. And it really bothers me when people take issue with that. You know? It’s really dumb. And I have to say right here and now that I DID NOT post a recent photo in an attempt to say “Yay Wiccans!” I posted it for the MESSAGE that was in that photo.

Now this sort of post bothered a certain cousin of mine, who is a Christian minister. He took issue with the photo coming from a Wiccan site. (Disclaimer: I’m a Christian, NOT a Wiccan. I HAVE tried the Wiccan path before but it was not for me.) His first post on this photo bothered me, but before I responded, I asked him what exactly was the problem. You know? I just wanted to see what it was he took issue with, over something that was, I might add, on MY Facebook page and not his. So when he spelled it out, it was THEN that I responded.

My cousin’s response was, I felt, judgmental and negative of Wiccans. While I’m not going to take any sides or anything when it comes to religion, I WILL speak out against intolerance and negativity towards others. I cannot stand discrimination, intolerance, racism or judgments against others, and I will fight anyone who thinks they can get away with being negative towards me, or other people. Especially if they think they can do that on MY Facebook page.

People, that’s not what I am about. I love and respect ALL people, no matter what their religion is or their beliefs or their lifestyles. I accept people the way they are, and I will not judge them. I have friends who are Wiccans, Pagans, atheists, Christians, Catholics, Jews, agnostics and all the rest. I have friends and family who are gay, and some who are straight. And I love them all. I will not judge or be negative towards any one of them. This is their choice and I totally respect that. And you know what? They respect MY beliefs, too. That is all that I ask of them. I respect their beliefs and they respect mine.

I am not a judgmental person. I would rather show kindness, friendship, compassion and love towards someone of a different religion, rather than judgment. It is not for me to judge someone because of their faith. Only God has the right to judge.

Now, that said, yes, I AM a Christian. And you know what? I still call myself a christian even though I accept others despite religious differences – and my cousin thinks that is BAD.

I would have let this whole thing go if it had not been for what happened this morning. The whole furor over that photo took place yesterday, and I would have let it go. A new day is a new start, right? Let bygones be bygones. But, against my better judgment, I decided to have a look at my cousin’s Facebook page this morning. And I was outraged at what I saw. His most recent post was about how he thinks it’s so very, very tragic that “confessing believers” ignore the Will of God. Not only this, but he says this certain “believer” (me) has decided to “pick and choose” what we want to do in God’s name.

I was very angry about this. And I’m sorry, I love my cousin, but I had to unfriend him. I just don’t want people judging me like that.

Some people think that they know me, but they DO NOT know me. I am not the “devoted good little Christian” they tried to fashion me into. I am a more modern Christian, a "Different Kind of Christian,” who loves and accepts all. I believe this is how God would want us to represent Him to others. Show love, kindness and acceptance. Not hatred, judgments or scorn. You know, what ever happened to “love the sinner but hate the sin”? Or how about “judge not, lest ye shall be judged”?

And if I am going to be judged for being the way I am, then I don’t want those kinds of people around me. Obviously, they don’t understand me. They don’t get that I will not judge others. I have my own beliefs, and other people have theirs.

And instead of preaching to others YOUR religion or shoving YOUR religion down another person’s throat, why not try a different approach instead and show them the Word of God through actions instead of words? Actions DO speak louder than words! Let your ACTIONS be for the glory of God and in Jesus’ name, and maybe that will inspire a nonbeliever. You know? It’s just a thought.

Judging others is a turnoff. A nonbeliever would not feel so welcome to listen to what a Christian has to say if all a Christian says is ‘You’ll burn in Hell for denying God.” That just doesn’t work.

But anyway, I choose not to judge others. That sort of thing is negative and it causes drama. The LAST thing I want to do is spread hate and negativity to others! And I have a “no drama” policy on MY Facebook page. So, ya know what? That sort of thing is not welcome on my page.
 
I love my cousin and I’m willing to forgive, but you know, if he does that sorta thing, then I’d rather not put myself into that position anymore.

I will not pass on sharing stuff on Facebook just because of what site it comes from or what drink it advertises. And I will not adopt a self-righteous attitude when it comes to others who have a different religion. I know I’m not perfect. I know I’m a sinner. I’m not a saint. But I’m not someone who "picks and chooses’ what part of God’s Word to obey. I do not “focus only on this world.” If I was a missionary, then MAYBE I’d make it my mission to convert everybody else to Christianity. But I’m not a missionary. I am just an ordinary Christian who loves and accepts all. Let’s try and show a little love and kindness towards each other. This world is hard enough to survive. The last thing we need to do is make it harder for us all to get along. Spread love, not hate. Peace!

Pick-up confusion

When I posted about a “bus confusion” problem I was having in picking up Jesse at his bus stop and the little girl I’m babysitting, a friend of mine offered to help out by picking up the little girl and bringing her to the bus stop since her kids get out of that school at the same time. That has been working out pretty well. It has definitely meant less stress and anxiety in trying to be in two places at the same time. My friend is definitely awesome for offering to help out.

And while it has caused less stress, it seemed to have caused a bit of confusion.

My friend doesn’t have a cell phone for me to text her at, so we’ve been using Facebook to get in touch with each other. (And, yes, we both have email, but for some reason, we use Facebook instead of email!) We normally keep tabs on who needs to be where before all the kids are out of school. And, also, I explained to her what days are not a problem for me to pick them both up, since the times they get out on those days are different. But as it is with every busy mom, messages tend to get lost in the clouds somewhere.

That’s what happened today. Today, Wednesday, is one day I am able to pick the little girl up, because Jesse gets out of school before she does. So Wednesdays are no problem.

And so there I was at the school parking lot, once again stuck amid ALL of those cars, people and buses, WAITING for a chance to get closer so the little girl could see me. now, sometimes she’ll walk along the line of cars (rolls eyes) to find me, but she didn’t so that today, and I was curious about that.

Then I realized, uh-oh! What if my friend picked her up and they were ... gone? At the bus stop, wondering where I was??

But I had to move up closer to find out for sure. Sometimes my friend is busy talking with teachers or people and she doesn’t leave right away. So MAYBE there was a chance she was still here – along with the little girl.

Well, I FINALLY made it up closer to the front of the school (20 minutes after release! GAH!!) and there she was. Phew! What a relief! But I saw my friend’s daughters, too ... and not my friend. I wondered what was keeping her, but didn't dwell on it too much. So the little girl climbed into my car and we all waved/said goodbye as I drove off.

Then when we got to my house and Jesse and the little girl were settled in, I walked into the kitchen to make myself some lunch. While the food was in the microwave, a thought struck me: What if my friend HAD been at the school, and I just hadn’t seen her? Hm, that was something I had to take care of. So I walked back to the little girl and asked her about it. She nodded and said that, yes, my friend had been there and was busy talking with a teacher.

And I was like “oh” then walked back into the kitchen, took my lunch out of the microwave and calmly started to eat it – when a thought struck me and I almost choked on that first bite! Did I SERIOUSLY just drive off with a child my friend was PLANNING on driving to the bus stop WITHOUT letting her know I’d been there?? GAH!!

I ran back to the little girl and asked her if my friend KNEW she was leaving with me. She said she wasn’t sure but also said that I might show up to pick her up.

Well, yeah, I DID. But my friend didn’t know that! Oh my God! Did I just leave my friend in a state of panic, turning around and wondering why a child was missing??? Oh my God!

I grabbed my phone and pushed the button for Facebook to load. While I was waiting, I wanted to bang my hand against my head and yell at myself, “Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!”

Believe me, when you’re a parent, then even when you have a child who is not yours in your care, those parenting instincts take over! You watch that child like a hawk, just like you’d watch your own. You’d protect that child, make sure that child is safe and that everything is fine. And I’d just driven right off with ONE child under someone else’s supervision without so much as a fare thee well! Ugh! Epic fail!

Well, I got on Facebook, then messaged my friend an apology, explaining what had happened and how I hadn’t thought about finding her and letting her know the little girl was with me now. “I am soooo sorry,” I typed. “Please don’t hate me.”

Message sent, I tried to calm myself down, but it wasn’t easy. I finished my lunch, though I couldn’t enjoy it as much, then paced around the house while I waited to hear back from her.

And, finally, I did. My friend said everything was okay and that her daughters had told her I picked the little girl up. And she wasn’t mad.

Oh, phew! I was soooo relieved. But next time, I need to be a little more careful about that. I am glad my friend recognized I’d just committed a little faux pas and was so understanding and forgiving about it. The important thing is, no harm was done and all children were safe.  

Why we need social media

For the longest time, I have had a love/hate relationship with social media. I don’t use ALL of the social media sites and rarely will I ever participate at Google+. But I love the social media sites I DO use – Twitter and Facebook – because they’ve been great to stay connected with people. I HAVE been tempted to leave them either because I have had problems with people who were being jerks or my friends’ complaints about “evil social media” starting to frighten me. But then I figured, heck, I’ve been on this long, why stop now?

And I have seen how social media has been helpful to people. It’s helped to bust criminals, put together clues on things that have happened to people, as well as get messages across that the public at large could not be prone to. (Journalists DO use tweets and Facebook pics/posts in their stories.) Today, I saw how using social media can be VERY helpful.

I am reviewing this nonfiction book for Night Owl Reviews that is a woman’s true story of different things that have happened in her life that drew her closer to God. (Good book, by the way!) In one chapter that I read today, she recounted a terrifying experience she and her friends went through that they were lucky to survive. On a holiday in an Australian rainforest, the driver lost control of their car and it flew into a deep part of the forest, front-first, and nearly sank into the mud. They survived that crash and pushed their car out of the mud, but the car was out of gas so they couldn’t use it to get out of there. So they started walking – and ended up getting lost. In a rainforest. None of them had a cell phone, as well as no food, radio or water. For hours, they trekked through the woods, and then they got lost. They were freezing, scared, starving, bruised from the crash, dehydrated and had no way to call for any help. The author of this story said that no one knew where they were so they would not come looking for them, and no one would know for several more hours that they were lost.

By that time, they might be dead.

As I read this, I thought, Well, what if one of them had been posting about their adventures on Twitter? And a friend realized that the posts stopped, or there was no blog posts or pics on Instagram, and realize something was wrong?

But then I remembered that this person’s story took place several years ago – before Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and blogs. (Well, the blogs we know today.) No one would have updated or posted about ANYTHING on social media, because there WAS no social media at that time!

This gave me pause. It also made me grateful that we DO have social media. Thank God for people who post about their vacations and their adventures! That’s how other people – their friends, family and colleagues – can keep tabs on them. So often I have checked out the Twitter or Facebook page of someone I’ve lost touch with, or even their blogs, to see if they’re still alive. You know? I mean, social media is a great way for us to keep tabs on each other and be more aware of if something is wrong.

So, yes, I AM glad we have social media today. Maybe those college kids would have had a better chance of some friend thinking something was wrong because there weren’t any tweets or Facebook posts. (Smartphones make it possible for us to do that no matter where we are – another thing to be thankful for!)

In the end, one of the group who was still strong went on ahead and got help. They were rescued. But I think if they’d been using social media to post about their adventures and stuff, maybe it would be less worry for people who get lost because there is a chance someone following their posts would see no recent updates or tweets or anything, and realize they might be in danger and need some help.

"Follow your heart"

One way I like to start my mornings? By reading the news or checking out news programs on TV. Most of the time, I grab a cup of coffee and check in with some news sites I am subscribed to. But sometimes, I’ll still have some more coffee to drink after I’m done reading the news online, and that’s when I’ll check out any e-newsletters in my inbox. Or I may read postings in online groups I am a member of. So this morning, I had a bit of time to read before getting to work on one of my books. One of those newsletters happened to be the August issue of The Well-Fed E-Pub, a newsletter published by “Well Fed Writer” Peter Bowerman. (Peter wrote the Foreword for my 365 TIPS FOR WRITERS book.)

It was something Peter wrote in the editorial in this newsletter that made me nearly choke on what little coffee I had left in my cup:

Usually, I’m dealing with current or ex-journalists who just can’t shake the notion of the “subjective” nature of commercial writing (i.e., in many cases, you’re “writing to sell” and company’s product/service, or, at the very least, painting it in the best possible light). Versus its – ahem – purer, more high-born, and certainly more objective cousin: journalism.

Okay, so that’s a bit snarky, but in this polarized day and age of ours, the phrase “objective journalism” is rapidly approaching the level of oxymoron. And as our friend above notes, journalism is selling something as well – the newspaper itself.

For those hailing from the Fourth Estate who still struggle with this, who still believe that being a FLCW is tantamount to going over to the dark side, consider this: Writing effective marketing copy (whether a brochure, ad, direct mail piece, white paper or case study, for starters…) is nothing more than helping to put your client’s best foot forward.

It’s about figuring out what makes their product or service special, and crafting materials that reflect those conclusions. It’s not about lying, stretching the truth, wildly embellishing or any other similar nefarious tinkering.

That last part right there made me do a double take. As someone who studied journalism in college and wrote for a few newspapers, thereby calling myself a “journalist” even though I did not have a degree stating as much, I couldn’t help but take what he said personally. I have got NOTHING against copywriters or freelancers, believe me. And I just think it was uncool of him to say something was indeed “snarky” about journalism and, let’s face it, good journalists. (And I say “good journalists” because I know there are indeed bad journalists. Those who do the things that Peter said, such as lying and stretching the truth. Heck, there are even journalists who write articles that border on sensationalist journalism, even if they are writing for a city paper and not some tabloid.) This just really bugged me. I was shocked at first but then the shock wore away and I was mad.

VERY mad!

I was so tempted to send Peter an email and say something along the lines of, “How could you put down journalism like that??!!” I wanted to SCREAM at him! I was just so angry!

But ... I am one of those people who follow the advice of how if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything a all. And I was just too mad to say anything nice right then and there – not to him, anyway. (What was I supposed to say?? “Good on ya!”? “I agree” – when I don’t??) So I kept my mouth shut and just stewed over it.

Still, when I logged in at Facebook, I put this in my status:

“I am still reeling after reading a certain editorial in a certain newsletter I am subscribed to. I just want to scream at this person, "A journalist DOES NOT lie! A journalist, a GOOD journalist, does not 'embellish a story' or 'stretch the truth.' A good journalist reports the facts!" But then it made me realize, I'm not a journalist anymore. Well, as far as writing for a newspaper is concerned. It just really made me think about what I am missing out on right now.”

That last part took me by surprise. I just started typing my reaction and, sure enough, something kinda unexpected happen. My fingers froze over the keys. Realization dawned over me. And my heart gave me a gentle nudge. A nudge that said “Exactly!”

When the newspaper SIGNews shut down, I told people that I cried. I really did. I bawled my eyes out. Here was a GOOD newspaper I had been a part of for so long, one in which I was, yes, a REAL journalist! And now it was gone. I’m not a journalist anymore because I am a writer without a newspaper. Without a degree in journalism at that!

And ya know what? Something was definitely wrong with that picture. Something just wasn’t right!

When I was forced to stop attending college because there was no more money for it, I vowed that someday I would go back. I have NEVER forgotten that vow, even now, all these years later. I have always wanted to go back to college. I still do. I just REALLY want to do this.

Yes, I TRIED to do this before. But something always came up and it didn’t happen. But I never gave up! Someday, I kept telling myself.

Well, you know what? This year’s theme is “someday is today.”

It’s time to stop putting things off!

The more I thought about it, the more I realized I should have stuck with my goal of getting a degree in journalism instead of deciding to get a degree in healthcare or a degree in landscaping only because those were jobs that would pay the bills. Nope! That’s not for me!

The degree for me is a journalism degree. My heart is in journalism. Always has been, always will be.

They say you can’t get a job with a journalism degree. Well, so what! I’m going to get that degree anyway! Because that degree will make me a REAL journalist even if I don't have a newspaper to write for at the time.

And even though I have not done the kind of journalism Peter numbered off in his editorial, I’m going to make sure that won’t be what everybody thinks of journalists in the future. I have not nor will I ever be a journalist who lies, stretches the truth or embellishes a story. Nope! And I am prepared to go out there and prove just that. (Wow, isn’t it nice how something negative ended up being something positive later on? Thanks, Peter!)

Of course, I realize that being a journalist, a reporter, is very demanding. You have to be ready to get OUT THERE where the news is at the minute it happens. You have to have nerves of steel. There are risks involved, as well, and it’s hard to have much of a “personal life” when you must be ready to report the news 24/7.

All of this made me think extra hard about this decision. This choice might affect how much time I’ll get to spend with my kids. And my kids mean EVERYTHING to me. It will be hard going from being there for them all of the time to being there for them some of the time.

But I know I must do this. I HAVE to do this.

And I know that if I do this, I will be teaching my children the message of how important it is to go after what you want in your life. I will be setting a good example for them. Don't give up on what you want just to be available 24/7 for other people. Live. Your. Life. There is MORE to life than being a stay-at-home mom or dad. I want them to know this and see this from me.

And, anyway, by the time I get the degree and can work, Jennifer will be old enough to be at home alone to watch her little brother.

I know I am not meant to be a stay-at-home mom. A housewife. The maid.

I know I MUST do something more in life. And I know this is a step in the right direction. This is what my heart is telling me to do.

Despite this resolve, I still struggled with how hard that change will be. I even started to ask myself if I was being selfish. Or if I should wait until the kids have flown the coop.

And, of course, there is also the fact that I am profoundly deaf. My experience with in-person interviewing was compromised in the past. I recorded interviews and my sister transcribed them. That would not work now. So, what would I do? Maybe have an assistant to sign to me? It was quite a problem that was causing me to doubt my resolve.

Then, of course, there's money. It's going to cost MONEY to go back to school to get a degree in journalism! A lot of money. And we don't have "a lot" of money. What then?

But then ... something else happened.

I logged into my email account again later on in the day, and there in my inbox was a notification from Facebook that someone commented on one of my status updates. It was Carolyn Howard-Johnson. I saw that and held my breath. I thought, Uh-oh. Did she know I was ranting about Peter’s editorial? I know she has met him and maybe she was defending him, or something. (And I even kept telling myself He probably didn’t mean it that way!) But when I opened it to read it, it said this: “Follow your heart.”

I had to reread those words. They just REALLY had a profound affect on me. They really moved me. I guess I needed those words there and then.

Carolyn was commenting on a different status I posted yesterday, but her words just really hit home with me.

The last time I followed my heart, in love, it did not end well. So I had to ask myself, you know, was I giving up? Was I just burying what I really wanted to do in life because I think it won’t happen??

Why not just take her advice and go after what I REALLY want to do with my life? Go after that goal? Just follow my heart and see where it will led?

Those words had such a powerful affect on me. They ended up being words I took to heart.

“Follow your heart.” That is good advice. And I think that is advice that I will take. (Thanks, Carolyn!)

I believe things happen for a reason. Maybe there was a reason why I took Peter's words the way I did, a reason why Carolyn posted that comment at that particular point in time. Maybe it was Fate telling me, Yes! This is your path!

I love it when Fate works like that.


Peter Bowerman's response:

The "snarky" reference was a description of my previous comment, NOT about journalists or journalism. Yes, I was taking a certain segment of the journalism trade to task, but was in no way, extrapolating for the entire field. I'd never do that, and I apologize if that's how it came across.

But, most importantly, I'm afraid you fundamentally misunderstood the section, "It's not about lying....nefarious tinkering."

I was referring to how many journalists view the commercial writing world: they believe writing copy is about lying, embellishing, etc. I was NOT describing journalists with that section. Again, I'd never make so brazen an assertion! ;)


Dawn here: I thought I misunderstood him. :) Sorry, Peter. But like I said in email, at least something good came out of it.

Two deaths bring one important reminder

Recently, I was reminded of a blog post written by Peter Shankman, the founder of Help A Reporter Out (HARO). He was encouraging readers to reach out to the people who are on our friends list on Facebook. Of course, he acknowledged that we can’t take up our day to connect with Every Single Person on our friends list, but just to choose so many of them and post on their wall, or something. Connect. Say hi. Reach out to people. They’re on that friends list for a reason!

I was reminded of this piece of good advice last week because I received some sad news: An old friend of mine had died. I was shocked and saddened to hear about this. I’d met this young man in my late teens and I always considered him to be a good friend. We lost touch, though, after we all grew up and created lives for ourselves. However, I did have the good fortune of connecting with him again on Facebook. I said “hi” to him every once in a while, but I never really bridged that communication gap. I never really “connected” with him as much as I should have.

And this is what got to me the most. I was sad my friend was gone, yes, but I was angry at myself for not really CONNECTING with him through Facebook, as I should have. All those opportunities I had to post on his wall and just say “howdy!” or something, and they just passed me by. And I hate it that the last time I DID make time to post on his wall was to leave a message to remember him by after he was gone. (I had tears in my eyes when I read another friend’s message she left on his wall.)

Of course I am sad my friend is gone, but angry at myself for not REALLY reaching out to connect with him. Gradually, though, I wasn’t so much angry anymore, but a little wiser. This was a lesson to me that from now on, I SHOULD connect with people who are important to me. I need to catch up with people. Facebook gives old friends the chance to reconnect, and we should take that opportunity to ACTUALLY reconnect. Communicate with each other and get to know each other all over again.

Later in the week, I was saddened once again to learn that one of my uncles had passed away, as well. That was two deaths in one week, and that was just too much. I told one of my sisters this sad news that evening, and she was shocked and upset to learn about our uncle. He was a very dear man who we have fond memories of. I hated to have to tell my sister this news through text, but text conversations are like phone calls for the deaf and it was the next best thing. (She lives in another state, so it wasn’t like I could walk on over to her house. Though I sure wish I had that ability to walk over to a sister’s house to visit!)

Unlike my friend, my uncle did not have a Facebook account, but my aunt did. Again, I occasionally said “hi” on her page, but I didn’t constantly reach out to communicate with her.

But even still, Facebook is not the only way to connect with people. There’s good old fashioned snail mail, too. I could’ve written a letter to my uncle or sent him a card to let him know we were thinking of him, but I never did.

This time, I was not as mad at myself as before for neglecting to reconnect with him. I was more AWARE of the fact that I should have. A card here or there would have been nice, maybe even a day-brightener.

So the lesson here was that, through snail mail or Facebook, even through phone calls, I really SHOULD reconnect with people and bridge those communication gaps. Take the time to get caught up with old friends and actually communicate with the people who are close to my heart. Because who knows how much more time they will have to be around?

Rest in peace, Mackie. And rest in peace, Uncle Floyd. I'm sorry I never took the time to reconnect with you as much as I should have, but the two of you were never far from my thoughts. You will both be in my heart forever.

Dawn's Hubby is (Not) on Facebook

When I first signed up for Facebook, it was for one purpose only: To network with fellow writers. Of course, the fact that I had so much family on there became a plus. Then my presence on Facebook took a big turn. My reasons for being on Facebook got to be a little bit personal. I used it to stay in touch with family and friends.

Still, I worried about having that “author presence” on Facebook, as I know I wanted to have. Didn’t like it so much that the personal stuff AND the author stuff were on the same profile.

The solution? An author page on Facebook! Yay! So I created an author page just for that author stuff and I use my personal profile for family, personal and occasional writing stuff.

Eventually, my husband joined Facebook. He didn’t like Facebook at first and didn’t really see much use for it. But then he saw how it would help create a better connection with family and allow them to stay in touch with him better. So he finally created a profile. Yay! My husband was FINALLY joining me on Facebook!

Or … was he?

I started to notice he didn’t participate so much on Facebook. Sure, he added people and stuff, but he still has not really taken to it just yet.

And I’m going to stop right here and say that, YES, my husband REALLY IS on Facebook. He REALLY exists. I didn’t create a fake profile of his, or anything. And he IS a real person!

And I say all that because, in the time he has had a Facebook account, he doesn’t really use it so much.

And he has not really made his presence known on my profile, either. He has never commented on anything or liked anything on my profile. Ever.

But he really, truly exists! He really, truly has his own Facebook account!

He just doesn’t use it so much.

I asked him today about that. it kinda bugged me that he has NEVER commented on anything on my profile or liked anything. Didn’t he WANT to make himself known on my page? Didn't he want to show that he is there, reading stuff and looking at stuff?

So when I asked him why, he told me he doesn’t really like Facebook. He’s not much of a Facebook user. He hardly ever logs in there. He usually does only if someone messages him. He told me NOT to take it personally, but commenting on things and liking things on Facebook are just not something he wants to do.

Well, I DID take it a little bit personally, because, you know, I don’t want people thinking he doesn’t give a crap about the stuff I put on Facebook or that he Just. Doesn’t. Care. Or that he doesn't really exist!

But, you know, I got over that. If people are gonna think that, then people are gonna think that. And there’s not a darn thing I can do about it.

For the record, my husband and I have a good relationship. We get along. We love each other. We spend time with each other. Etc., etc. And that is true whether or not it’s obvious by what he does (and doesn’t do) on Facebook.

He’s just not much of a Facebook user and that’s all there is to it.