Two deaths bring one important reminder

Recently, I was reminded of a blog post written by Peter Shankman, the founder of Help A Reporter Out (HARO). He was encouraging readers to reach out to the people who are on our friends list on Facebook. Of course, he acknowledged that we can’t take up our day to connect with Every Single Person on our friends list, but just to choose so many of them and post on their wall, or something. Connect. Say hi. Reach out to people. They’re on that friends list for a reason!

I was reminded of this piece of good advice last week because I received some sad news: An old friend of mine had died. I was shocked and saddened to hear about this. I’d met this young man in my late teens and I always considered him to be a good friend. We lost touch, though, after we all grew up and created lives for ourselves. However, I did have the good fortune of connecting with him again on Facebook. I said “hi” to him every once in a while, but I never really bridged that communication gap. I never really “connected” with him as much as I should have.

And this is what got to me the most. I was sad my friend was gone, yes, but I was angry at myself for not really CONNECTING with him through Facebook, as I should have. All those opportunities I had to post on his wall and just say “howdy!” or something, and they just passed me by. And I hate it that the last time I DID make time to post on his wall was to leave a message to remember him by after he was gone. (I had tears in my eyes when I read another friend’s message she left on his wall.)

Of course I am sad my friend is gone, but angry at myself for not REALLY reaching out to connect with him. Gradually, though, I wasn’t so much angry anymore, but a little wiser. This was a lesson to me that from now on, I SHOULD connect with people who are important to me. I need to catch up with people. Facebook gives old friends the chance to reconnect, and we should take that opportunity to ACTUALLY reconnect. Communicate with each other and get to know each other all over again.

Later in the week, I was saddened once again to learn that one of my uncles had passed away, as well. That was two deaths in one week, and that was just too much. I told one of my sisters this sad news that evening, and she was shocked and upset to learn about our uncle. He was a very dear man who we have fond memories of. I hated to have to tell my sister this news through text, but text conversations are like phone calls for the deaf and it was the next best thing. (She lives in another state, so it wasn’t like I could walk on over to her house. Though I sure wish I had that ability to walk over to a sister’s house to visit!)

Unlike my friend, my uncle did not have a Facebook account, but my aunt did. Again, I occasionally said “hi” on her page, but I didn’t constantly reach out to communicate with her.

But even still, Facebook is not the only way to connect with people. There’s good old fashioned snail mail, too. I could’ve written a letter to my uncle or sent him a card to let him know we were thinking of him, but I never did.

This time, I was not as mad at myself as before for neglecting to reconnect with him. I was more AWARE of the fact that I should have. A card here or there would have been nice, maybe even a day-brightener.

So the lesson here was that, through snail mail or Facebook, even through phone calls, I really SHOULD reconnect with people and bridge those communication gaps. Take the time to get caught up with old friends and actually communicate with the people who are close to my heart. Because who knows how much more time they will have to be around?

Rest in peace, Mackie. And rest in peace, Uncle Floyd. I'm sorry I never took the time to reconnect with you as much as I should have, but the two of you were never far from my thoughts. You will both be in my heart forever.

Stuff going on

Jesse is doing A LOT better now. His eyes are still healing from the surgery and the anesthetic is still making its way out of his system, but he's not stumbling when he tries to walk anymore and not walking into walls. He's been really fussy, though. Probably from irritation in his eyes. I give him Ibuprofen only when it's very bad and he's very uncomfortable. The post-op appointment went okay and he goes back next month for another check-up on his eyes. It will be some time before we see actual progress. I'm just glad the surgery went okay! Thank God for that!

I'm really nervous about applying the topical medicine under his eyes, though. Tonight, I did it for the first time and I don't even know if I did it right! Grr! I've watched hubby apply the medicine and he told me how to do it. I get really nervous trying to do it, though. I don't want to get any of it INSIDE of his eyes!

I have been sooooo busy all week. Writing, running errands, taking care of the kids and cleaning. CLEANING! The other day, when I picked Jen up from school, my hair looked like I just stepped out of a tornado because I went right from speed-vacuuming to going out to pick her up. I saw Jen's old teacher with my hair like that and I guess maybe I gave her something to wonder about. Haha. "Erm, what exactly were you up to??"

One of the cleaning jobs I had was Jennifer's room. It got REALLY bad because she's not very good at putting things away (she's a piler) and because she just doesn't take good care of her things or tidy up when she is done playing, or something. So I took it upon myself to clean the room. I was tired of not being able to walk in there and Jesse kept getting into EVERYTHING. It took me TWO DAYS to clean that room. What a job! I wish I could get her to keep her room tidy so it doesn't get so bad. Anyway, it's a lot better now and everything is put away and organized.

Jen started school this week. Yay! She really likes her class. Thankfully, there aren't any troublesome students in her classroom this year. Thank goodness for that! There is a boy who sits next to her and on the first day, he was messing around with her stuff. I gave him a dirty look and he just went about doing other things. I guess he is not giving her trouble and that's good. Last year, there was a kid in her class who caused trouble a lot. (The same kid who pushed a little boy in the hall) and I have been very concerned about her dealing with bullies. Believe me, I had to deal with them when I went to school! (They were in the public AND private school. Ugh.) Looking the way I do, I was an easy target for bullies. Even when I fought back on one occasion. But with Jennifer, I have always worried about it. I've even had nightmares about it! So I keep an eye out for things like that and I hope she doesn't have that problem this year.

Speaking of nightmares...I had a real bad one last night. It was horrible. Weather disasters were striking the entire state of Oregon. There were hurricanes, floods, mudslides, earthquakes, tornadoes. EVERYTHING! And in all of the state of Oregon! The whole state! It was awful. I saw so many people die in that dream. Being covered by mudslides, sucked into hurricanes. Homes being destroyed. People tried to evacuate but often the weather disasters hit before they could. So many people....all gone. It was just terrible to see all that. I woke up from that dream, went out to the living room and sat on the couch. Hubby was on the computer and he turned around to ask me what was wrong. When I told him my dream, he said, "Hurricane?" I nodded. Then he said, "Wrong side of the country." Yeah, tell me about it! Then I looked at the TV, hoping to get my mind off that dream. And, wouldn't you know it, there was a program on about rogue waves! ARGH!! I covered my eyes, shook my head and mumbled, "WHY did I have a dream like that then come out to see something like THAT on TV?"

Jennifer's BFF had a birthday party this week. At least, we THINK she did. Jen never got an invitation. I'm a little confused and angry about this. I sent the friend's mother an email and asked about it but, so far, no reply. I'm starting to get upset about this, because if the friend DID have a birthday party and decided not to invite Jennifer, then I think that's really uncool. It would make Jennifer REALLY upset and then there'd be problems with the friendship. I don't get it. So I hope it was a misunderstanding. I am going to call tomorrow and find out. If I don't end up hearing from them by email first.

Today hubby and I watched the movie Stardust. I heard so many good things about it. Even though I'm iffy with Neil Gaiman (some of his stuff is good, some of it...meh), I really liked this movie. It's a great fantasy story. The part where Victoria starts to like Tristan after he changes his looks, though, REALLY irritated me. I got all huffy and said, "She likes him NOW only because he looks good!" Hubby rolled his eyes and said, "It's just a movie!" That may be, but that kinda thing DOES happen in the real world. People are SO dependent on looks and beauty. I'm sick of it and I hate it. But I guess being a person with burn scars, of course I'm going to hate it. I often blame my lack of friends on the fact that I am burned. People think I'm too ugly to want to be seen with me in public. Or they are too uncomfortable around someone who is NOT beautiful or who looks unattractive because I am burned. Or maybe they think that because I look like a monster, I really am a monster. I know it's stupid to think that, but I do. Oregonians only love beautiful people!

And the same goes for love....Love is SO dependent on outward beauty. Or so many people in this world say it should be. You HAVE to be beautiful to be loved. If you are ugly, then you are shunned and ignored. One beautiful person will not love an ugly person. They BOTH have to look beautiful. Because outward appearances MATTER. It's just not right.

Which is why I would rather be with someone who would love me for my heart and not for my looks. I can't take these burn scars away. I can't make them disappear, even when wearing make-up. Love me for who I am and for the kind of heart that I have. Not for how I look.

That is my opinion, anyway....

I got A LOT done with the writing this week. Unfortunately, I was not able to do my article for SIGNews, because my source at Gallaudet refused to do an interview and so did anybody else associated with that topic. ARGH! I was really upset and NOT happy about losing the money I would have received for that article. Sigh. Fortunately, my editor was very understanding. I was soooo tempted to complain about it on the writing blog. But....I am a grown up. I can handle this in a mature, professional manner. (Those poopie-heads!)

As for the Ghost book, I am FINALLY allllllll caught up on the emails for it. YAAAAYYY!!!! Now to get caught up on the phone calls I have to make for it. I have two that I keep FORGETTING! But the email thing is good and it was a huge weight off my shoulders to get caught up on them. Hopefully, I'll be able to wrap up gathering all the stories I need VERRRRRY soon.

There are other emails I need to get caught up on, too. Hm. I'm working on it! So please don't think I am ignoring you....

I got an idea for a cartoon today. Imagine it: Writer goes into a printing shop and asks, "How much do you charge to print?"

Saleslady says, "How many pages do you need to print?"

Writer answers, "Oh, about 580 pages."

Saleslady faints.

That right there is how long the Totally Scared book is. Ayuh.