And here I was, thinking we were done with diapers

For what has seemed like an eternity, we have been pottytraining Jesse. It has been a struggle to get him completely pottytrained. It’s been a journey of ups and downs, lasting for months on end. Yet we are hopeful, encouraged by the little victories (even if they are funny victories, such as Jesse running out of the bathroom while wearing NOTHING under the waist and announcing, “I went poopie in the potty!”). And in spite of it taking SO FREAKING LONG for him to wear only underpants instead of Pull-Ups, we persevere.

Ah, yes, the Pull-Ups. That savior who is oh-so-forgiving when it comes to the occasional accident. (And it saves us the job of washing the accident away. Some days, he’ll go through his 10-plus pairs of underwear because of accidents! And meanwhile, I’m cleaning up and washing all of those pairs of dirty underwear.)

Only today, there were no Pull-Ups. We had underwear for him, sure, but no Pull-Ups.

I’d told my husband last night that we were out of Pull-Ups, and could he please pick some up on his way home from work? But, silly me, I’d forgotten that he now gets off work at 2 a.m. instead of 1 a.m., so of course all the stores were closed after he got off work. He couldn’t get the Pull-Ups.

So what was I to do? I needed to get Jesse to preschool, but I didn’t want him to be wetting his pants. Or worse.

Then I remembered something. Not too long ago, when I was doing some organizing in the garage, I came across Jesse’s diaper bag. I remember cleaning it out and finding diapers in it. Diapers that were actually a size he could fit into.

So I ran into the garage, grabbed one of the diapers from the yard sale pile, and double-checked the size. Yep, perfect. I went back into the house determined to get my son dressed and ready for school, even though that meant putting a diaper on him. My resolve lasted as far as me walking to his room to wake him up. I literally sulked there in the hallway. A diaper. I am putting a DIAPER on my preschooler! Talk about taking a step backwards. We’re trying to be DONE with diapers for good, not have to use them all over again! It was embarrassing. Humiliating. And even though Jesse is only 3 and probably wouldn’t even notice, I thought it was STILL humiliating for him to wear a diaper.

And, actually, he did notice. When I was cleaning him up while getting him ready, I started to put the diaper on him. He freaked. He panicked. It was like the Incredible Hulk.

A diaper? Forget it!

“No diaper!” he cried, moving away from the diaper I held as if it was a biohazard.

Now, even as I agreed with him on the whole DIAPERS ARE EVIL thing and how he is a big boy now, and not a baby anymore (this has been the message we have been trying to get through to him during this whole pottytraining saga), we had no choice. We had to use a diaper. Forget underwear; I just knew he’d end up wetting his pants!

I explained to him that we didn’t have any Pull-Ups and that we HAD to use the diaper. I apologized to him about this and told him I know he didn’t like diapers and I don’t like them either, but it was either that or stay home from school. Eventually, he calmed down and understood the situation. He allowed me to put the diaper on and, surprisingly, he even joked about wearing one after it was on.

As I proceeded to dress him, I started to worry. What if Kim saw him wearing a diaper and flew off the handle about it? My husband reminded me when Jesse started preschool that they won’t let him attend if he’s in diapers. And I didn’t want to send a preschooler to preschool while “still in diapers.” But then I knew we had to do what we had to do (maybe she would understand that) and it’s not like I DO send him to preschool in diapers! He wears Pull-Ups!

Yes, we could have gone to the store this morning to get him Pull-Ups before dropping him off at school, but we were already an hour late (stupid alarm clock!) and I had some work to get done. I got the Pull-Ups AFTER I dropped Jesse off at preschool. We got rid of his diaper after he got home (and it was a very wet diaper – surprise, surprise. Oh, someday I will get my son to use that toilet at his preschool! I hope!!) and got him into a Pull-Up. Next week, however, he’ll be in his underwear for all of Spring Break, and I’m hoping THAT will be the week we’ll finally be done relying on Pull-Ups.

Because we sure are finally done relying on diapers.

Should we blame the school?

Because we FINALLY had some nice weather today, and because the kids are finally over their fevers/coughs/sore throats, I took them to the park this afternoon. Before then, they spent some time out in the backyard, working with plants. I was so proud of them; they were pulling weeds, watering plants and checking on flowers, all without my asking! Anyway, after the park, we piled into the car and went to the grocery store. Everything was going fine, we were in the freezer section picking out dinner, when Jesse pointed at someone and said, "Hey! You're stupid!"

Jennifer looked at me in shock. I double-checked with her to see if he had said what I had THOUGHT he said. Yes, she confirmed that he did indeed call a complete stranger "stupid."

I grew up in a family where name-calling ran rampant. I myself called others names, but what hurt me the most was my father often calling me "stupid." This left a wound that has never really healed. But this is why I am so against name-calling. I just won't stand for it. We don't call names at home, so I had to wonder why Jesse was starting to call people a name.

It's possible he heard it on a TV show. But my husband thinks otherwise. He thinks Jesse has been exposed to name-calling at his preschool.

This is not the first time he has blamed Jesse's preschool for something. Sometime after Jesse started preschool, he began hitting and kicking us. We don't allow that kind of behavior at home. We don't hit and kick each other! (Unlike how my own childhood was like.) So after he started doing this, my husband thought Jesse picked up on that behavior at school.

I cannot really tell for certain if this is true. I HAVE quizzed Jennifer a couple of times on what goes on at that school, because she has spent the day there a time or two. She said that hitting, kicking and name-calling NEVER happened at the school. And believe me, I know Kim! She is one of the most gentle and nonviolent people I have ever met. She has enormous patience with those kids.

But, still...we have to wonder. What if a child did call someone a name? What if Jesse did pick up on that from his preschool?

Then again, we must remember: He's 3. He doesn't need to be exposed to these things at preschool for them to happen. He's a boy, he's a toddler, he's working through his emotions the only way he knows how.

And of course, I'm probably just making excuses here....

We have made it clear to Jesse we won't tolerate name-calling. In fact, at dinner, he called Jennifer a name and my husband had to remove him from the table to have a face-to-face talk with him about this name-calling business. I only hope it is enough. I don't want to take Jesse out of preschool just because he is exhibiting this behavior. Hopefully, something will click for him and the next time he sees a child calling someone a name, he will know that that's bad instead of copying it.