Every saint has a past

There is a T-shirt I once saw with a profound message. On one side, it reads: "Every saint has a past." On the other, it reads: "Every sinner has a future." It's a great message, really. It's not talking about ACTUAL saints and ACTUAL sinners. But people. People who try to change their lives for the better.

I am someone who could wear a shirt like that. I may have turned my life to God now, but that doesn't mean I have always lived a "Godly" life. That doesn't make me a "saint." Far from it! It only makes me a penitent person. Nothing more.

I am not perfect. I do not profess to be perfect, either. I mean, I'm human. But the thing of it is that, despite my faults, I TRY to live a religious, respectable life. I TRY to walk on the good path and not on the bad path. Believe me, I HAVE walked on the bad path before. I used to be so lost, so confused, so tormented and just....bad. I am grateful my life is not that way anymore, but I DO know, every single day, that it USED to be that way.

I guess in some way, this can be seen in the same way that a recovering alcoholic continues to call themselves an alcoholic even after they've stopped drinking. They don't say "recovering alcoholic." They just say "alcoholic." I used to think this was a bad idea. That doing so would put them into the wrong mindset. "I'm an alcoholic. It's ok to have one more drink." But now I think that's not why they do this. I think they do this because they KNOW they have that label on their past. And admitting to as much gives them a gentle nudge to live a new day trying to be the opposite of it.

Keep moving forward

We recently saw the movie Meet the Robinsons. I hadn't been aware of it until I saw the preview while watching another movie. Jennifer had already seen it and when I expressed interest in it, she started going on and on about what a good movie it is and how much she liked it. (Apparently, our neighbor took her along to see it at the theater when it came out.) Since I'd gotten such raving reviews of it from her (ha), I decided to rent it.

And I'm glad I did!

It's definitely a good movie. No part of it is cheesy and, as a 30-something parent, I thought it was a movie other parents in my age group could enjoy. (Or maybe even just other 30-somethings, period! Not just parents....)

The Walt Disney quote at the end was the real kicker, though. Walt Disney is someone I have always admired, and his quote is yet another one of his quotes that has inspired me. "Keep moving forward" is a part of his quote included at the end. And during the movie, where Lewis is frustrated over being unable to fix the time machine and Wilbur keeps saying "keep moving forward," that right there has also inspired me. How he just keeps saying "keep moving forward" no matter what.

That is something that I have started to do, as well. I've seen quite a few movies where the good guys lose in the end, but they NEVER gave up! They tried. At least they tried. They kept going and going. Even when people said they weren't good enough, they didn't have what it takes, the odds are piled against them, etc., etc. They STILL went after what they wanted to do. They tried, anyway. And even if they lost in the end, even if they died in the end, their story still moved me, still inspired me, still strengthened me. As it has done for others. They NEVER GAVE UP! They kept their dreams alive no matter what.

But more importantly...they kept...moving....foward.

I used to live by the quote "be like the arrow, always moving forward and never looking back." It's quotes like this which inspire me and keep me going on.

I've had my share of failures. I've had the odds piled against me. I've had people tell me I'm not good enough, I'll fail, I'll never get anywhere, I'm not smart enough, rich enough, successful enough... The list goes on. Believe me, I've been through it all.

But I'm not going to give up. I will NEVER give up on my dreams!
I will keep on keeping on.

I will be like the arrow.

And I...will keep moving forward. My dreams await me, and I will never give up to make my dreams come true.

Do actions speak louder than beliefs?

There is one thing that keeps happening to me which I just don't fully understand. It may seem like a trivial thing, but the fact that it even happens has left me puzzled for quite some time.

What happens is, if I keep thinking on something that I want, it comes true. For example, in the past I've thought of a favorite episode of a TV show or a certain movie I'd like to see again. About 3-7 days later, poof! It was on TV. Either someone would turn on the TV and THERE it was or I'd see it in the TV Guide listings. Another part of this is I'd think "I could really go for some Taco Bell right now" then someone would suggest we go get some Taco Bell. Or, I would think about a book I haven't read for a long time and would like to read again. Sooner or later, that book would appear in some way or another.

The third example just so happened to occur yesterday. I was thinking about the Dr. Seuss book, The Foot Book, and how much my daughter and I enjoyed reading it together. I kept remembering how much I enjoyed reading that book and how I liked it so much because it has a good rhythm to it. (In my defense, it's the kid in me that loves this book.) (Er, not the ACTUAL kid inside of me. LOL) Guess what? This was the VERY book my daughter brought home from school for her reading homework yesterday! (Part of her homework is to read a book from school.) I couldn't believe that happened. I was so surprised. She DOES have this book in her room, but I just never got around to reading it to her because we were reading OTHER books. Namely, books from her school.

I don't understand how or why this happens because I am of the opinion that just THINKING something is not enough to make it come true.

Well, I suppose in some way, I wasn't just thinking about these things. I was remembering how much I enjoyed them or thinking on how something would taste so good right now and believing that I would soon be eating that particular thing again soon. This is just one thing life coaches tell us to do when we think about something we want: Visualize it being a reality. Visualize enjoying those things again. Hear it, see it, breathe it, visualize touching it (like if it's a coveted necklace) and tasting it and feeling it.

But as for me, I REALLY feel that it's just not enough to "think" about something that I want or "believing" that particular thought will become a reality. I believe that we need to be PRODUCTIVE about making our dreams a reality. For example, if we want to write a book, it's not enough to just "think" about one day being an author of a book or visualizing it. We need to get our butt into the chair and WRITE IT! That is the only way to get on the path to becoming an author of a book: Actually writing the book. Working towards that goal. When I wanted to get published in magazines, I spent at least 6 hours of my time EVERY DAY sending out queries, researching markets, brainstorming for ideas and finding interviewees. I didn't just sit there, twiddling my thumbs and thinking, 'Gee, I want to get published in a magazine.' I got busy making that dream a reality. And, I did. The same thing with my nonfiction books: I APPLIED myself to making my desire to author those books a reality.

In some way, this belief reflects being a part of an athletic team. I recently read a book called Soccer Dreams by Leah Lauber, and the players of the team she wrote about were talking about how they were out there every day practicing, practicing, practicing. Constantly playing and applying themselves. And how this was why they were the best. This was why they became champions: They were OUT THERE putting themselves into the game. They didn't just practice when they felt like it or just "believed" they would win and do whatever they wanted. They WORKED towards achieving their goal of being champions.

I bring this up because of a dream I had last night. I dreamed I was a part of a cross country team and the coach was REALLY working us hard to be the best team. (This dream made me so wistful. I miss running! Boo-hoo.) The coach worked us so hard that many of us were sore and tired and just low on energy at day's end. He didn't stop at grilling us on the field, though. He was onto us about watching what we ate, getting enough sleep and keeping a positive attitude about what we were doing. And as time passed, as I saw other girls on my team drop out because it was "too hard" and they were "too sore" to go on, I kept at it and soon saw results. (This actually happened when I ran in cross country at Monta Vista. I started seeing PHYSICAL results all that running was doing for me.) I didn't quit. I didn't give up. I did what the coach told me to do and I became one of the best runners on the team. (*wistful sigh*) This same discipline and unwavering dedication are what it takes to making a dream a reality. Not just "believing" that dream will come true. It takes applying oneself to MAKING that dream come true. Practicing, working, showing up. (Er, that last part is one thing I wasn't too good at when I was in cross country. *ducks*)

All the same, though, there isn't anything wrong with believing something WILL come true, if we WANT it to come true. Even as I am applying myself to making my dream of being a famous author come true, I believe it will happen. Heck, one can believe something has ALREADY happened! I'd be fooling myself if I was thinking right now "I already AM a famous author!" because I haven't exactly reached the level of "fame" which I define it to be. But there ARE benefits to believing that something will come true. It just takes a little bit of time and steadfastness for us to see it ACTUALLY come true in our real life.

And keeping the negative stuff like doubt, fear and uncertainty from our minds!

Shine

"Life is not about how we'll be remembered, but how people will remember us."

I don't know who said that quote but I remember reading it one day and just taken aback at how very true that is. How we'll be remembered means very little to certain people we have known in this world, people who knew us personally, professionally and even just barely. These seem to be the opinions which matter the most.

At least, to me, they are.

I mean, what good is it if we die rescuing a child from certain death when we leave behind people who remember us as a cold, dishonest, irritable person?

What good is it if the whole world sees someone in a good light when there are people who knew this person personally and knew how he/she abused their kids, stole from the church, cheated others and did horrible things to family members? That's not a legacy, that's hypocrisy.

Think about it for a minute. Our lives that we live are not so much what we do for ourselves but what we do for other people.

And while people choose to live a dishonest, spiteful and negative life, I am not going to make that choice for myself. Me, I'd rather do GOOD things for people, not bad things. I'd rather help people instead of turning them away. I'd rather talk to people and take time for them instead of being "too busy" or "too insecure" or "too paranoid."

Because, you know what? I would rather take that chance in putting myself and something of myself OUT THERE for others, because I know giving good can only inspire good in others.

In other words, instead of closing myself off from the world -- being angry, spiteful, dishonest, rude, paranoid, bitter, resentful, unforgiving and cruel -- I am going to open myself up and shine. I am going to shine for others, and I can only hope more people will choose to shine, too. Instead of being filled with hate, discrimination and anger, let's try being nice and kind and understanding. Just for once.

I know people are going to say negative things about this outlook. But I will not pay that any mind. I will not allow myself to think as they do or feel as they do, because that is them and this is me. Our lives are all about choices. We can choose to be happy or we can choose to be sad. We can choose to have faith or resign ourselves to giving up. We can choose to hold grudges and be paranoid about people, developing the wrong ideas of others and closing ourselves off from the world, or we can choose to grow. We can choose to find it in ourselves to forgive. We can choose to be a better person, a better friend, and move past all of the weight holding us back.

Sometimes we like to think we are in control of our destinies. We have the power to be a bad person, because that's the only way to come out ahead in the end. WRONG. The bad guys never win. The good guys are those who are the happiest, most peaceful and all the more willing to enhance their lives spiritually, mentally and physically.

So the way I see it, we can either close ourselves off from the world and stay in the dark, or...we can open our hearts, open our minds and open our arms to let our light shine.

And as for me, I'm going to shine on.