Gone rafting

Today was Jesse’s end-of-the-year field trip. Their particular field trip was a guided rafting trip on the Willamette River. When I first learned about it, I was going to keep him home that day. I was too nervous to send my little boy out on a raft for the first time, even though it was going to be supervised and he was not going to be by himself on the raft. Then Jesse brought it up later and he was really excited about it. I just couldn’t tell him no after seeing how much he wanted to go on this. Well, it’s not like we had to pay for it. Jesse does love the outdoors (unlike us!) and this was a pretty cool thing for him to do for the very first time. I started to realize it was too big of an opportunity for him to pass up. So I said yes, he could go – but only if I went with him! So I volunteered to be a chaperone for the trip.

So today was the day for it. It didn’t start off good, though. I only got about 2 or 3 hours of sleep last night because I was up for most of it coughing up gunk, sneezing my head off and blowing my nose. I also had a burning sensation in my chest. I thought I had a cold so I took DayQuil this morning before I left (in addition to Allegra, for allergies). Unfortunately, I was still miserable for most of the trip, sneezing and dealing with nasal congestion as well as nasal drip. On the way back, I was sneezing my head off for most of the trip! I am beginning to suspect it’s more than a cold because I had raspiness in my chest later in the day as well as developing a fever. (My symptoms just got worse later in the day, despite the medicine!)

Anyway, back to the story. When I took Jesse to school this morning, I went in with him, carrying the gear we had been instructed to bring along (sunscreen, extra change of clothes, sack lunch, water, etc.). Jesse’s teacher did not go on this trip so there was a guest teacher in charge of the class for the day. I introduced myself to her and she handed me a list of the kids I would be responsible for today. There would be four in all, with Jesse among them. Another parent was also going to be in my group so we would both watch each other’s back in addition to supervising the 4 kids (his daughter among them). After we all introduced ourselves to each other, the teacher did a Q&A with the kids about the trip. Then we formed our groups, did any last-minute bathroom runs, got our stuff and left in the 3 buses waiting for us outside.

When we got to the site, the staff at the Recreation place where we were to take off from gathered us into a group and talked about using a life jacket. They also talked about other things but I don’t know what it was. I am glad, however, she physically showed us how to pull someone wearing a life jacket out of the water because I was going to need that info later! Then they played a couple of games, which I declined to participate in, before the rafts were finally ready. We all applied sunscreen then the staff helped most of us put on our life jackets.

I was really nervous about going out on the river in a raft. I’ve only been in a canoe as well as a real boat, but that was years ago in the Girl Scouts. Still, I knew there was no turning back now. First time for everything! Fortunately, there would be a trained staff member on each of the 4 rafts and that eased some of my anxiety.

When we first set off, we didn’t really do anything. I don’t know if anybody was talking or explaining things. Soon, however, we were off in one direction. It was really smooth sailing for a while there. The guide was manning the oars at the head of the raft and each of the adults as well as the kids all had our own paddles. We had to learn to work together to paddle the raft and navigate it along the river. There were a couple of areas of the river that were torrential – one small one and one large one – and those were scary as well as exciting areas to navigate the raft through. (We did not go on any extreme rapids, like they have on TV and in the movies. This was mostly an introduction to rafting.)

We would occasionally greet the other rafters or bump into them. At one point, though, I guess we bumped against a raft too hard because Jesse fell into the river! I freaked out but sprang into action to grab him by the top of his life jacket and pull him in. Unfortunately, my left hand could not get a good grip so the guide helped me to lift him up into the raft. That was really scary but I’m glad nothing serious happened. Thank goodness for the life jackets.

Eventually, we arrived at our destination and climbed out of the rafts to go up a steep walkway and get to a park. The walkway was too steep for me though and I ended up falling. One of the staff helped to lift me up (and in the process suggest I put my foot against a nearby rock to give myself some kind of leverage). Of course I was embarrassed about falling and about needing help to get up but it’s not the first time! I try my best with steep courses but I can’t always get through them okay. (I also had some help back on the way down.) I am just glad I was not hurt too bad, though my left hand is still sore (I used it to block my fall). At the park, we rested for lunch as well as any bathroom breaks. One of the guides played games with the kids. I used this free time to take my phone out of the Ziploc bag I had it in and text hubby and update him on everything. I also let him know that I now knew I did NOT like rafting! Seriously, I wasn’t having much fun. I don’t like the outdoors. I don’t like being out on the water -- it’s dry land all the way for me!! -- and I certainly did not like being outside for so long (given the cold symptoms I’d been having, I couldn’t tell if it was a cold or my allergies but at least the itchy, watery eyes I had been dealing with for so long was GONE was I was out there and that was probably the only thing I liked about the whole trip). Even so, I am glad for the experience, because, hey, at least I TRIED IT! I gave it a shot and, yeah, rafting is not for me. Jesse, however, was having a blast and he loved it and I was glad he was having this experience to see what rafting is like. And Jesse does love the outdoors and I know it’s important to nurture that in him. He’s a true Oregonian!

On our way back to the launch site, some of the kids from the other rafts ended up in the water! I was confused and asked the other parent if they had jumped in or fallen in. He didn’t have an answer. Then I noticed the staff pulling those kids in. I soon realized what was going on: They were teaching us about pulling people into the rafts. Soon the guide in our boat told Jesse to go into the water. I didn’t want him to! When he had fallen in, that had scared me. I didn’t want him back in the water!! I understood perfectly that they were trying to teach the kids how to be safe if they are in the water and what to do and all that, but some instinct within took over. I DID NOT want my son in the river again! (He cannot swim, by the way.) But he listened to the guide encouraging him and went in. I freaked again! I kept calling to him to come back. He ended up drifting AWAY from the raft. AWAY FROM ME!! I called to him and told the guide to please get the raft closer to him. I didn’t want the current to sweep him away! Finally, we got close enough to where I could grab his hand and I pulled him closer. I tried to lift him up by the shoulder covers on his life jacket but, once again, my left hand could NOT grab hold! Once again, I needed help to get him out. (See, this is WHY we usually don’t go out on the water! I don’t have two good hands like everybody else does!) I was VERY upset, frightened and angry over this whole thing. I had really panicked as I watched Jesse float farther away from the raft. I was so ANGRY they had us go through this! I even said to Jesse, “I can’t pull you out of the water! I don’t have two good hands to do that! I didn’t come here to see you drown!” Yes, I know he was wearing a life jacket. Yes, I know the other parent in my group could swim and said he’d go after us if we fell in the water. Yes, I knew we had trained guides with us to save Jesse in case anything happened, but I was NOT thinking logically! I didn’t want him in the water! Despite their attempts to calm me down and offer apologies, I was still steamed. Even Jesse felt bad for disobeying me and apologized. (I gave him a hug and told him I loved him.) Still, I thought in my head: NEVER AGAIN!

Despite being so upset, though, I still helped with the rowing, because I knew that everybody had to work together. Finally, we got back to the launch site, but before we could just up and leave, we all had to help clean up and put everything away. After that, I REALLY wanted to go home! But not yet. Now they were letting kids play on the shore of the river. I was in a really bad mood and didn’t feel like getting into the action so I just walked around on the field while Jesse played. I noticed there were a herd of a variety of birds waddling away from the river and through the field, leaving a wave of discarded feathers behind. I picked out two that I liked and showed them to Jesse. He got 2 that he liked as well then went back to playing.

Then, at last, we all said goodbye, thanked everyone for everything, then boarded the buses to return to the school.

The rafting trip was a very interesting and hopefully educational experience. I am certainly very glad that I went. I only wish that I hadn’t been so sick and miserable during this excursion! The guides had encouraged me to come back sometime. We might do it, IF we are feeling well enough. I do enjoy LOOKING at rivers, lakes, streams, etc. (and fishing in them!), but not actually being out on them. I am glad I experienced what rafting is like, though. And I’m glad Jesse got to experience it, too. He had a great time.

Volunteer Celebration

Recently, I received an invitation in the mail from my son’s school. The school was planning to have a Volunteer Celebration as a way of thanking all of the people who have volunteered at the school this year. I volunteered to help out for one of the field trips so they included me on the list of people to invite.

At first, when I got the invitation, I was confused. When I had volunteered on that field trip, I did it because I WANTED to do it. Ever since Jennifer had started going to that school, I had always hoped I could volunteer in some way or another. “Volunteer work” is actually something I have on my bucket list, so I was happy when, finally, after several years, the perfect opportunity arose for me to volunteer. And I was happy to do it. It was an awesome experience and a great way for me to help out and connect with the children.

So, I was confused by this invitation. I did not volunteer to get appreciation or to be noticed. I was happy to do it. I didn’t want any attention or any kind of special recognition for volunteering. You know? I didn’t want to be singled out or have any kind of attention focused on me. I don’t WANT attention.

So for a while, as I was debating whether or not to attend, that introvert in me stood in a corner, folded her arms and said, “Don’t wanna.”

I posted about it on Facebook and family members encouraged me to go.

Fortunately, that writer in me kept poking me to go. What was such a celebration going to be like? It said there was a performance by the children; what kind of performance? What exactly would happen at such an event?

I kept puzzling over these questions. And the more I thought about them, the more I started leaning towards going. I HAD to find out just what all this fuss was about! I had to see what it was like! After all, what if I write about something like this in a future story? This was the perfect opportunity to LIVE it so I could write about it!

So, yes! I HAD to go!

And I went. I was a little, teensy-tiny bit late because it was a crazy day with lots of running around (in other words, a typical day!), but I went. And I’m glad I did!

When I arrived, one of the secretaries was surprised to learn I had done volunteer work. She cheerfully told me where the celebration was. When I got there, I walked around a bit and sort of just cased it out. It looked like everyone was just getting their dessert and getting to know each other. I noticed none of the students were present. I had thought maybe the students in certain classes would get to attend but apparently not. One of the secretaries was bringing in extra chairs and I chatted with her briefly asking about it. She said that some volunteers brought their younger kids (one of them even had a baby with her) but the students were not attending. This was just for the volunteers.

I checked out the desserts available. There were so many goodies! Lots of cookies, cake, pies, brownies and cobbler. I noticed some fresh fruit so I got a plate of that. I also got a cup of water. (They were also serving coffee but it was decaf so I passed.)

I found a table and sat down. There was a lady sitting at the table but we really didn’t talk so much. I just sat there eating fruit and looking around. There were quite a lot of volunteers! This made me feel happy that so many people helped out at the school.

Then the performance began. At first, the young kids performed, singing and dancing. One little boy danced and I really enjoyed watching him. It was SO CUTE!

After that performance, people started moving around and talking. I spent the time admiring the plants on the table. There were flowers and they had a sign in each one that read “Thank you!” I thought they were cute. One in particular caught my eye. It was a blue flower. (Later, I would be told it was a petunia.) I admired the flower then put it back, thinking how nice it would be to have such a flower at home.

Then I noticed that the lady at the table was trying to get my attention. I apologized for not seeing her and told her I am deaf. She was surprised and told me she knew a little sign language. Then it was my turn to be surprised. How cool I ended up sitting at a table with someone who knew how to sign!! That was just awesome. She asked if I could read lips and I told her yes but mostly she signed to me. She told me her sister was born deaf and they had to learn sign language to communicate with each other. I was just so grateful I could communicate with someone who could sign! All that time I was thinking I wouldn’t be able to talk to anyone at this event because I might not be able to lipread them or they wouldn’t know sign language. But here was this woman who did know it! And I had sat at her table!! Wow.

We introduced each other and talked briefly about our volunteer experiences. Then the older kids performed. More singing and dancing. It was nice to watch, especially with one kid doing a hula-hoop act.

After the second performance, I noticed it was almost time for the event to end. The lady at the table told me that we were allowed to take one of the plants at the table home with us as well as have more dessert before she left. I told her thank you for sharing that information with me and told it was nice to meet her. Then I happily picked up the blue flower, excited that I could take it home!

And I was grateful I met that lady. Get this: Her name was JENNIFER! My daughter’s name! How very cool that I chose to sit at a table with someone named “Jennifer” who knew sign language!   All of a sudden, I was picturing my own Jennifer, grown up and reaching out to a deaf person and telling that deaf person she knew sign language because her mom was deaf. Somehow I think divine influence was at work here.

As I started to leave, I spent some time talking with the school staff. I also talked with the principal and gave her a hug. She noticed I only had one plant with me and encouraged me to take another. She took note of what plant I had then looked over the many on a table to find another. She did, but the flower’s stem was weak. She was discouraged by this but I still decided to take that one home as well. I don’t have a green thumb, but I love flowers and maybe I could nurse this one back to health. (I did manage to do that, later. Yay!)

I said my goodbyes to everybody then left the school. I am so glad I attended the Volunteer Celebration. And, you know what? I wasn’t singled out or given attention for the volunteer work I did. Actually, the ones who got all the attention and were in the spotlight were the children performing for us. Thank you, children!

Volunteering for a field trip

Today, my son went on his very first kindergarten field trip. We were both excited about it, but I was also nervous. He was going to ride on that big bus and go to a big farm where he’d be walking through a big pumpkin patch! Eek! My baby! So of course, I volunteered to go along on the field trip. When Jennifer was Jesse’s age, she was a tough little kiddo, so I didn’t worry about her at all. (She’s STILL tough, too! She once punched a boy who was fighting with one of her friends. Yep, my daughter has fists, and she knows how to use them!) But with Jesse, I did worry. I just HAD to be with him.

Even though I’ve been struggling with a bad cough for over a week. I STILL had to be with him for this field trip! So I volunteered. It was the first time I ever volunteered to go on a field trip, so I was a little excited, too. (Later, I realized this would be a good experience, because in one of the stories I just wrote, my characters go on a field trip and there are a couple of parents who volunteered to go on the trip, too, so I got a better idea of just what that kinda thing is like.) I was very close to canceling, though, because of my cough, but then I learned that I just wasn’t gonna be tagging along here. Oh, no! I was gonna have a job! I had to help out!

I was assigned four children to be responsible for, and Jesse was among them. I couldn’t back out, now! Good thing I’d brought extra cough drops along with me. (The cough syrup I started taking today and the cough drops are not a huge help, but they do help a little bit. And, thankfully, my cough was not as bad while I was on the trip.)

When we got on the bus, I let Jesse pick where we would sit. And he just HAD to pick a seat that was at one of the emergency exits! I saw that and thought, ‘Oh, no.’ I remembered an essay in a book written by my friend, Tara Chevrestt, about how she was forced to change seats on a flight because she is deaf and was sitting next to an emergency exit, and the airline staff wouldn’t allow her to sit next to an emergency exit because she is deaf. Even though Tara KNEW how to easily open an emergency exit on a plane, they still made her move, because she’s deaf! I hoped that nobody would make me move from my seat just because I was a deaf person sitting next to the emergency exit. I mean, I understand why they do it, but it’s just really annoying. I’d probably get a little mad about it.

But, thankfully, nobody pointed any fingers saying, “Hey! That deaf woman is sitting next to the emergency exit! We’re all doomed!” Nobody asked me to move. And I was grateful for that!

On the way to the farm we went out to, I saw another farm I’ve been trying to figure out how to get to, because they have a harvest celebration going on later this month and I want to take the kids this year for sure. I saw it and was like, ‘Oh, there it is.’

When we got to the farm, I was taken aback at just how HUGE it is! There’s a store selling things grown on the farm, and the animals of course, but A LOT of acres and so many things planted. There was the cornfield, assorted flowers, assorted trees and vegetables, and a ginormous pumpkin patch! It was just so big. Looking around, I started to wonder if people who worked there needed to carry a map so they didn’t get lost!

We got on a hay truck, sitting on bales of hay, and rode out to the pumpkin patch. I made sure I had all four of my young charges with me the whole time, as well as when we went through the pumpkin patch looking for pumpkins. It was wet and muddy! (The teacher was smart to wear mud boots.) I helped all four of the kids with cleaning off their chosen pumpkins and placing their pumpkins into their bags. Jesse and one other boy in the group selected big pumpkins, which I ended up carrying for them later on when it was time to leave. (I was not allowed to, because the kids have to be able to carry their own pumpkins, but I felt bad for them, especially the little boy who had to keep sitting his big pumpkin down.)

We adults also worked together to keep track of all the kids and help them out. It was just such a positive and welcoming environment. One other mom had volunteered as well as the teacher aide and it was just a great feeling of acceptance and teamwork among us all. I was grateful to them for their kindness and smiles.

After the kids got pumpkins, we all took pictures as they checked out the scarecrow, fed the goats, visited the rabbits, saw the chickens and played in a little play area. We all had a great time.

Then it was time to go back to the school. Boo-hoo! We didn’t want to leave. While I did pick up on a sad feeling while I was in the pumpkin patch, I really enjoyed visiting that farm and found it so hard to leave. It was like I couldn’t pull myself away from there! I wanted to run through the mud! Go out into the fields! Be among all those growing plants and all those roaming animals! It’s so fun to visit a farm and I could just stay there all day.

But we did have to leave. I am grateful for this experience. It was awesome! Jesse and I have pictures and a video I made to remember his field trip with, and a nice pumpkin he’ll get to carve for Halloween.

'Tis the season to be giving

It's that time of the year again! That time when we need to reach out to others and try to help others in some way, so that other people who have it hard will be able to enjoy their holidays. I have been reading about all of these job losses everybody is going through and it makes me sad because I know it means a lot of families are going to be hurting this Christmas. There are so many hardly able to put food on the table, as it is. But at this time of the year, I know it's important to reach out and try to help the homeless and the families who are struggling to get by. They need it now more than ever.

This is something I have been trying to stress to Jennifer. It's more important to give than to receive. It's more important to help others who don't have the help they need. Every year I try to do something charitable during the Christmas season. This year, we're doing three things so far: Donating canned goods to a food drive Jennifer's school is holding, donating a toy to Toys For Tots and sponsoring a child for Christmas in my church's Angel Tree program. I've done the Angel Tree thing before, and even though I could not be there to actually stay, I dropped off the donation and just felt so good inside for doing something like that. (The program is for children in families whose parents are imprisoned.) Of course I want to do more, but there's only so many charitable events I am able to learn about going on in time.

But the big thing I want to do this year is pass on to Jennifer just how important it is to be charitable. I am trying to stress to her the importance of giving to others, and I really want this to be a part of her character when she grows up.

My mom made sure it was a part of mine.

When I was little, my mom relied heavily on charitable help. With seven kids and a struggling income, it was hard for us to have enough food to eat or even presents for Christmas. Many times, charitable organizations, and even our local Catholic church, helped us out. In return, we did the same. My mom got all of us involved in participating in the gift and food drives the church held, and I spent many a time during my high school years volunteering to help struggling families who had no money, clothing or food. Sometimes, we even took food out of our own cabinets to give to others who had none! So I was definitely raised having that sensitivity to others who were not as fortunate as us.

This is something I want to pass on to my own children. I want them to know how important it is to help those who are in need. I have been spending a lot of time explaining to Jennifer that there are kids out there who have it harder than she does. They don't have a Mommy or Daddy. They don't have a lot of toys. Their clothes are old and torn up. They don't have a home to live in, a bed to sleep in or even enough food to eat. This is why I get upset with her when she wastes her food. I don't like waste. And I have told her many times there are people in this world who are starving and don't have as much food to eat as she does.

When we went to donate to Toys For Tots the other day, I had to take the time to explain to Jennifer why we were doing this. It was because we were helping a family out there who couldn't afford Christmas presents. We were helping a little boy or a little girl who wouldn't have a Christmas present if it weren't for us helping them.

She looked at the toy Marine truck we were donating and said, "I wish I could get this."

I looked at her and said to her the same thing my mother said to me years ago, when I felt sad over giving away one of my toys: "That's going to make some little boy very happy on Christmas."

She looked at me and her eyes lit up. She clutched that toy as though it were very special and said, "I want to give it to them."

That was when I could see it. That was when I knew. Maybe, just maybe, she was finally starting to get why we even give in the first place.