Great first day of the new year

Before 2016 even got here, I was hopeful that THIS year would be better. Last year wasn’t so good so I was keeping my thoughts positive that this year would be a good one!

Well, I can’t say as yet if the year itself is turning out better than the last. But I can say this: The first day of 2016 has just been AWESOME! There were a couple of bad things that happened today, but there were mostly good things! Things I am MUCH more happier about.

When I woke up this morning, for some reason, I had the Doctor Who poem in my head. But after that went away, I got out of bed and went straight to the computer. I turned it on, grabbed a bottle of water, sat down at the desk, popped open Word and…started writing. I didn’t even think about what I was doing. I just started writing the very first page of a new novel.

Yes, I am finally writing a new novel. Yahoo!! I am so happy to be writing a novel again. But even happier to be writing any fiction at all! Seriously, I struggled with writing fiction last year. The newest book in the GHOST Group series remained unfinished for months. Short stories were never finished. And I had NOTHING in the way of a new novel. I just couldn’t get the words out. I had ideas for a novel, sure, but I just couldn’t WRITE it. The story lingered in my mind, waiting to be born. And today I finally released it onto paper. I am looking forward to writing this!

Another awesome thing that happened today is that my phone got fixed! My phone has been giving me problems for quite some time. I was ready to smash it with a hammer! AGH! But I handed it over to my husband and asked him for help. I explained the situation. After tinkering with it, he fixed it. And now everything is working so much better on my phone. Yay! I didn’t have to delete anything, either. Phew! 

I am also glad there's a new episode of Sherlock tonight. I recorded it and have not seen it yet. My husband is watching Supernatural (DVDs I have already watched). But I'll be watching the new Sherlock real soon!

And, finally, I have been able to keep my New Year’s resolutions so far. I kept the ones that apply for today! One resolution is to exercise every day, no matter what exercise it is. Because I had stomach problems all day, though, I couldn’t do a regular workout. But I did exercise on the resistance band as well as some other stretches so at least that is something. Better than nothing! I hope I feel better tomorrow so I can do more exercising. I also resisted the temptation to drink any beer. I am experimenting with something health-wise (which I hope to write about in my health book) and removing alcohol from my diet is an important part of it. So yay on beating that temptation! I used to drink every day and sometimes many in 1 day but NOT today and NOT this year! I want to see this experiment through to the end and if I’ll get the kind of results that I’m looking for. (Yes, I am always the guinea pig for my books. Ha!) And, anyway, I am NOT going to be alcohol's bitch anymore. Done with all that!!

As to the bad things that happened… Well, I didn’t get my check today. Sigh! I was really counting on it because we need to go to the store but I guess I’ll get the check on Monday. At least we have enough food in the house to last us through the weekend. And, oh, I DID find some money today, after I tweeted about my frustrations over not getting my check. So that’s awesome! Good to have that if we do need it. (NOTE: After I posted on this blog and did some research for the novel, I decided to check my bank account again, just for the heck of it. And my check is THERE! We can buy FOOD! Glory be!)

The other bad thing was that I wanted a cup of cappuccino tonight (at 10 p.m.!) but…there was no cappuccino! NOOOOO!!!! We didn’t have the coffee I was craving! Boo-hoo! If only Starbucks did late-night deliveries. Sigh. (But I survived.)

Despite the bad things today, I am very happy about the good things. And another good thing might happen too: I just MIGHT have a new gig. That’d be so cool! I hope I get this. It’ll really help and I won’t feel so useless being unemployed for so long.

Today has really been a great day. I have also enjoyed spending today with my kids and enjoying this new year. We have had a lot of fun together today and I look forward to doing things with them in the coming months.

Here’s to a happy and adventurous 2016!

Then and now

The end of 2014 came and went. Most people spent some time writing about things they accomplished from the year and goals they wanted to reach. While I did do a blog post on the writing blog about that sort of thing, I didn’t go there on a personal level. Just didn’t want to. But when my daughter and her friend started going over their highlights from 2014 (as it was a pretty good year from them), and I started asking myself why I didn’t want to do the same, when there were some good things from last year. But there were bad things, too. I guess I didn’t want to think about that.

So I am going to list some good things that happened for me last year, both on a personal level and as a writer:

1.   I turned 40.

2.   I had the 20^th book that I either authored or co-authored published.

3.   I landed a gig ghostwriting books – a dream job for me!

4.   I figured out how to deal with “death anniversaries” better – by doing something good in that person’s memory, instead of being sad all day and missing that person.

5.   I let go of the negative people in my life, as well as people I realized I was just “wasting my time” with. I know so well that many people try to be nice for the sake of being nice, when they really just don’t want to be around me, see me or talk to me or anything. They feel sorry for me because I am a burn survivor. But I don’t want their pity. I can take a hint. If people are only tolerating my presence and just trying to be nice, I will no longer bother with them.

6.   I got over the depression of losing my dog. Yes, it was hard losing Chewie, and it was quite a shock to no longer be responsible for a dog after 21 years of having a dog, especially since during his last years he was in really bad shape and I had to be with him as often as possible because of his seizures and such. (It got to a point where he could hardly walk and he could not go down the steps outside to go to the bathroom.) But I did get over all of this after a while. I just needed time to grieve and adjust to this change, which I did allow for myself to go through. I feel a lot better now, especially knowing that Chewie is happy and with his family again. I believe that all dogs go to Heaven (cats, too!) and I do believe that Chewie and his family are all enjoying a happy and pain-free afterlife in Paradise.

7.   I came to terms with problems I was having on a religious level. I just decided it was time for a change and I feel a lot better in the choice I made. For the record, I may no longer be a Christian, but I STILL believe in God and I still pray to Him.

8.   I got to a point where I no longer cared about everybody else’s perceptions and judgments of me and my life. Oh, yes, I HAVE been judged by others. Everybody judges everybody else. But I had to remind myself that I live the way I do and do the things I do for a reason. I’ve gone through a lot in life and picked up a few lessons along the way. I know I am right in not trusting people so easily. I know I am right in doing everything possible to protect my children. That’s just a couple of things. But I am working through my faults. I am trying to fix things that are wrong. I know people have gotten on their pedestals and judged me for not being perfect or what THEY think I should be. But, you know what? I no longer care. I do my own thing. REAL friends don’t judge, so I hold onto the friends that I have who are NOT like that. They are the people I cherish and keep in my life. (I hope they’ll keep me in theirs, too!)

9.   I learned to be more confident about trying the things that scare me. I came across a quote that we should do something that scares us every day. Well, I don’t see that happening every day, but I DO see that happening at some point. There was something I had to do last year that scared me because I felt like I couldn’t do it. But I took a deep breath and I did it. And I succeeded, too. That was awesome. I was like, “Wow. I did it. I really pulled it off.” That right there gave me the confidence to try scary things again. So the next time I’m faced with something that scares me, I’m not going to back away from it. I’ll just take a deep breath and do it!!!

10.  We got a new computer! Yay!! The new computer is AWESOME!! I am still learning how to use the newer version of Word, but, wow, the speed on this thing is da bomb!! It works so much faster now and I can get so much more work done a lot faster, too. Yay! I loves it!

This new year has been going pretty good so far. I realize it’s only the second day, but it’s been a good couple of days (so far!) and I am happy about that. Hopeful it’s a sign of good things to come.

There are some things I have decided on for this year. These are NOT resolutions because I’m not doing those this year. Just decisions.

                                 

First, it’s time for a change, as far as my lifestyle goes. I wasn’t very active because I couldn’t be. Now I’m gonna be more active, because I CAN be! My life allows for that now.

No more wishing and hoping for some thing or another; I’m gonna go out and GET it! Or try to, anyway. I’m gonna try more things. Take more roads less traveled. (I briefly did that after my dog died, in order to get used to being away from home more often and for longer periods of time. That was part of my adjusting to it.) I don’t like cooking, but I like trying new foods, so I’m gonna try more recipes and foodie things! (Still not gonna turn into a foodie, though.)

We are also going to limit our exposure to technology. I have been doing this in bits and pieces but now we’ll be doing this more. All of us. I don’t want my kids growing up addicted to computers, smartphones or TV. I want them to be doing OTHER things. Like reading, playing outside, creating art and stuff. Just, other stuff! We have already created time limits on computer use and I also have Jesse on a “15 minutes to read every day” schedule but we’ll work on the other things. I just don’t want technology ruling our lives. Technology is good and it does have its uses, but there is such a thing as addiction and I just don’t want all of us to grow up being tech addicts. There’s just so much more out there.

Bottom line: The sky is the limit this year.  So let’s get out there and go after it!

Lessons learned in 2013

It may be cliched, but looking back on a year when it comes to an end to see what we’ve accomplished and what we’ve learned is actually a pretty good thing to do. Every time a year comes to an end, I have to ask myself, what did I manage to do this year? How have I made life better? What do I still need to do? How can I grow in the new year? What kind of things did I fail to do this year that I could try to do again in the next?

One question I usually did not ask myself, though, was this: What kind of lessons have I learned this year?

This, above all else, is an important question to ask. And I’ve certainly learned a few lessons this year. They are lessons that are definitely going to have an impact on certain decisions I’ll be making in the new year.

I have learned: It’s important to take care of myself. This year, I certainly DID NOT take care of myself. I have been sad and depressed for quite some time, and I know this sadness comes from certain choices that I regret. But I let that sadness, regret, anger at myself and the depression get to be too bad and I just didn’t take care of myself that well this year. I hated myself and it got to where I wished I was dead. That is how bad it was. So it is a good thing that I had this cancer scare. It made me wake up and realize that I was on a path of self-destruction. I had to be kinder to myself and stop beating myself up over the past. I have to learn to forgive myself and be my own best friend. So I need to take care of myself emotionally, spiritually, physically and psychologically. I need to get rid of bad habits and welcome things that will make me a better person. (So far, I have managed to get rid of one bad habit and I feel pretty good about that!)

I have learned: Sometimes we have to be a little bit selfish to get what we want in life. I know I have allowed other people to influence my choices and have too much control over decisions I have made. It’s time to put a stop to that! I can’t let others decide what I should do with my body and my life. Because they are MY body and MY life! I’m the one who has to live it! So I really think it’s time to step back and just be a little bit selfish about certain choices in my life. I need to do that in a really big way. There are some things I KNOW I want in my life, and some people, too. Why keep putting things off? Why keep tolerating being without certain people we WANT in our lives? And those we don’t want? It just doesn’t make any sense to me anymore. And here again we have that cancer scare playing a role. I just realized, you know, why keep putting these things off? Why keep WAITING? Why keep HOPING? Just do it now. All we have is right now, and if it takes being selfish to go after something, then we gotta be selfish. I know certain people may not agree with what I want to do next year and a lot of people won’t like it. But I really think it’s time for me to get back on course for Dawn’s Life, and not other people’s life. People are gonna say what people are gonna say. What’s important is that I keep doing what I WANT to be doing with my life.

I have learned: Change is good. I saw a change in how I was handling my being an author. I also became a publisher. I was scared to death to get into publishing, but I did it and, thanks to the help of my friends along the way, it was a success. And I couldn’t be happier that I got past that fear and got to where I am now. I definitely feel more confident when it comes to publishing books, and that’s going to help a lot given what I plan to do next year. I was scared at first, but I got over that fear and made it. I also saw change in how I managed things with books being self-pubbed this year. I like that change, too.

I have learned: We need to hold onto the people who matter. Hold onto the people who actually care. I have been paying close attention to the people in my life who have been there and who have not. The people who wouldn’t give me the time of day and those who would drop everything to help. I have to be very careful and very selective of who I allow to be in my circle. Who I allow to be my friend. I have been hurt too many times by people I thought I could trust, or was supposed to be able to trust. I have had too many so-called “friends” treat me like crap and only remember me when they needed something. Or people who are judgmental, dishonest and not trustworthy. No more of that! I can’t keep tolerating the fake friends, the people who have thrown potshots my way and the people who constantly have me on “Ignore.” Same goes for people who take my presence for granted. Because, you know what? You’re either for real, or you’re not. And I have noticed the people in my life who are For Real. The ones who are there, who actually talk to me, the ones who call me their friend and act like it. I am not going to waste my time on fake friends or fake people anymore. Life is too short and we need to keep the people who matter within arm’s reach while we live it.

I have learned: We can’t live life indoors. There is too much of the whole wide world out there just waiting for us to explore it! Part of the reason why I stayed home whenever possible was because I was too comfortable being at home. And I’m not comfortable anymore. Yes, I know I have a senior dog with failing health who does not have much time left, but I also know I just gotta get Out There some more. I need to go ride a bike, go hiking, go fishing, take long walks and just Get. Outside. We are not meant to live our lives holed up in our homes and constantly glued to our computers or TVs. We are meant to get out there into the world and live life! Otherwise, how will we meet people? How will we see this beautiful world God created? How will we find out where that path goes? We won’t unless we actually get outside and take that path or travel that road. I know I have a lot going on that requires time at the computer, but I am working something out where I won’t be at the computer 8-10 hours every day 365 days a year. No more of that! It’s time to get out of the house more often and see all the stuff that’s out there. This is one valuable lesson I have learned this year and this lesson, like the others, will definitely have an impact on changes I’ll be making in the new year.

Here’s to a better, happier and wiser 2014!

New things for a new year

A new year means new things happening. And as I work towards wrapping up some loose ends before 2011 leaves us, I have to ask myself, what new things will 2012 bring? I know what it WON’T bring, but I have to wonder what it will. And what sort of path I should take.

On a personal level, there’s the usual suspects: Lose weight, learn how to swim, and eat healthy. (How many times am I going to make these things my New Year’s resolutions?? Sigh.) As to losing weight, I don’t exactly have a particular diet to follow, though I have been interested in the Mediterranean diet. I am starting a fitness plan. I’d love to get back into martial arts (I think that injury I had has healed by now) as well as get back into running. But gotta take things slow at first. I have had very mild exercise this year. Nothing intense. That will change in 2012 and I hope to gradually work my way back to martial arts and running as part of my workout regime. Yes, swimming will be in there, too. At some point.

But I also decided that it’s time to stop thinking “if only” with certain things and just learn them! I know I had trouble learning web site design in the past, but I KNOW I want to be able to do this, so I’m going to work harder to learn it next year. Ditto with learning how to make quilts.

On a bigger level … well, I know there is a job hunt in my near future. In the past, I have not had much luck getting a part-time job outside of the home. I had all the luck getting write-from-home jobs. So is it any wonder that I wrote from home for so long and so often?? But I’m done with that and now it’s time to get work outside of the home. I am nervous about succeeding in landing something, anything, but I’m going to give it a try! I have to.

Also, I know I want to work in book publishing, but this year I found out that editing and proofreading are not a good fit for me. But I still want to have my hand in that in some form. I actually learned about a new publishing company that is starting up next year and I put my name into their hat. They contacted me and said they’ll let me know if they could use me. This won’t be a paying gig, unfortunately, but it will at least help me to see where my strengths lie and give me some experience there.

Jennifer is excited because next year, I am signing her up for piano lessons. She’s been asking for them for years and I finally found someone who is affordable. So she has that to look forward to next year. As for Jesse, he is going back to preschool full-time. He is super-excited about the prospect of getting into a swimming class (that boy will swim his time away in the bathtub if I let him!) but I want to get him into other activities, too. That will have to happen in its own time, though. For now, I’m not going to throw the kids into EVERYTHING I see. Though Jen wouldn’t mind that. Ha! She likes to stay as super busy as I do.

We’re excited about a new year on the horizon. I am excited about this new journey I will take, these new things I will bring into my life, and see where those paths will go.

Goodbye to all that!

Happy New Year!

2007 has finally come and gone. It definitely had some major life changes for me, and its fair share of ups and downs. I'm optimistic about the new year and I look forward to what new adventures it will bring.

There are some things I had in 2007 that I won't have in 2008. I atarted 2007 as a divorcee and start 2008 as a remarried woman. I started 2007 as the mother of one child and started 2008 as the mother of two. I started 2007 continuing with my E-zine and, just last month, sent out the final issue. There will be no E-zine for me in 2008.

Aside from that, I'm looking forward to taking on new writing projects and trying to work out my financial issues. Mainly, I haven't been able to save any money. There was ALWAYS something coming up that required the money I was trying to save! So this year I'm definitely going to make saving money a priority. I'm also going to make EVERY EFFORT to send EVERYONE in my family a birthday gift AND Christmas gifts. There were some people I missed last year, so I'm hoping I can get everyone this year!

Aside from that, I have the usual resolutions: Try to get into shape, eat a healthier diet, do more charity work. I'm hoping those things can be a reality this year.

I was not able to celebrate New Year's Eve with my friends (as I'd hoped/planned to!) but my immediate family was with me, and they are the people most important to me. I DID get invited to a party, but I didn't want to be away from my children so I stayed home. Next year, however, I'm planning a BIG New Year's Eve bash! I now know that I'll have to plan/arrange it and invite everyone a whole heck of a lot sooner than just 2 days before then. ;) But at least the most important people in my life were still here to enjoy it with me.