Today was back-to-school for both Jennifer and Jesse. For a few days, I had them on their “school night” routine to get used to the new bedtimes and wake times. Unfortunately, Jennifer has been having a hard time adjusting to this change. She has never been a good sleeper at night, as much as I try to help her sleep better. She keeps waking up in the middle of the night and sometimes it can be hours before she’ll finally doze off. (We’ve set it up for her to be able to read her books in bed before sleeping but this has only helped her to fall asleep, and not to stay asleep.) Still, her time to get up in the morning has to happen whether or not she got enough sleep. I set up a routine for her on school mornings where she can still manage to get a little extra sleep before staying awake for the day.
On the other hand, Jesse is adjusting well. I have found that if he doesn’t nap, he’ll fall asleep earlier and easier at night. Of course this means no break for me – but that’s okay. I grab a nap while he’s in school, even if it’s just a cat nap!
The one thing I dislike about going back to this schedule is having to exercise in the dark, get dressed in the dark, get the kids into the car in the dark. It’s aggravating. This morning, as I was buckling Jesse into his seat, I could hardly see the seatbelts!
And it would be nice to get some extra sleep, too. And NOT have to wake up at 5 a.m. But I have found that if I do, we can all get ready and out the door on time. (Well, usually. The problem is that Jesse takes FOREVER to eat his breakfast.)
Today was Jesse’s first day of going to preschool fulltime. Before today, I was DREADING it! How could I stand being separated from my baby for 7 hours?? HOURS! I just couldn’t imagine it. I kept telling hubby I wanted to change my mind and go back to part-time but he told me, “Just do it.” When I dropped him off, I wasn’t fearful. It was just like the many times I’d dropped him off before. But as the usual time of picking him up came and went, and as I kept missing him more and more, I wanted to run over there, pick him up and say, “Let’s go back to part-time!” My arms literally ached to hug my little baby. It was really, really hard. Even though I was busy with the books and running errands, I still missed him so much. And I was sad to have lunch without him. I did call, but just to let Kim know I had to pick him up earlier than planned. And this was NOT because I missed him so much – it was because his dad wanted to see him before leaving for work. (I did ask about him and she told me he was fine. Phew!)
Jennifer got home from school before Jesse did. I went to pick him up and he was contentedly snacking on graham crackers and milk. I asked about how things had gone, if he’d adjusted okay, etc., etc. Overall, it had gone well. And THANKFULLY he didn’t throw a tantrum when I tried to bring him home – as he had before. I think maybe he was ready to go home. I started to wonder if having him there fulltime had been the secret to stop those “time to go home” fits after all.
We all shared about the first day back at school. Jennifer was happy to see her friends and teacher again. Jesse said he had fun at his own school. And I was glad to get a lot of work done on my book.
I’m glad the day worked out well. Let’s hope the rest of the school year will, too.
Showing posts with label babies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label babies. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Thursday, November 11, 2010
"I can't read your lips with that thing in your mouth!"
The plan was to get Jesse off of the pacifier (“binky”) when he turned 3. His third birthday has come and gone…and he is STILL using the binky! But, thankfully, we have managed to get him to understand that binky is for sleep time, not any other time. Of course, he’s so attached to his binky that he STILL tries to use it for every other time of the day. But we have been working with him on that. I just don’t want him to be one of those kids with blistered lips because he’s still sucking on his pacifier when he’s 5 years old.
Certain changes in his life have meant disposing of the binky. For one thing, he has started preschool, so on the days he goes to preschool (two days of the week), I tell him “no binky at school” before we head out the door in the mornings (on weekdays) and he’ll happily spit the pacifier into the sink (I wash them religiously so we have taught him to spit used binkies into the sink).
For another thing, he has gotten pretty talkative now – and I just can’t lipread him when he has the binky in his mouth. I have told him several times, “I can’t read your lips with that thing in your mouth.” Of course, he has continued to try to talk to me with the binky in his mouth. And, for some time, I have been telling him the same thing: “I can’t read your lips with that thing in your mouth!”
He does know some signs, and even as he tries to sign other things, he hasn’t quite mastered it yet. So for things he can’t sign, we rely on lipreading to understand what he is saying.
As often I have tried to get him to understand that I can’t read his lips when he talks to me with the binky, it really never got through to him, because he kept trying to talk to me with that binky in his mouth. I feel that, perhaps, tonight, I have finally made some progress.
After I gave Jesse his bath this evening, I had him on my bed, drying him off. He was trying to talk to me, but he had the binky in his mouth. (I had promised him he could have it back after his bath.) I stopped drying him off, got to his level, and explained in as simple language as I could that I needed to see his mouth when he is talking to me and his dad. I can’t understand him when he talks with the binky in his mouth. Gradually, I coaxed the binky out of his mouth and told him to tell me again what he said. He pointed at his leg then said that he has an owie. (He got a scratch on his leg last week and, ever since, it has been his cross to bear.) I acknowledged his owie and reminded him, as I had before, that it would go away. He got his binky back and I finished toweling him off then dressed him. After we brushed his teeth, he said goodnight to his big sister (who gets to stay up tonight because of no school tomorrow) and I put him to bed.
As I was saying goodnight to him, giving him hugs and kisses and telling him goodnight, he stood still in his crib, looked at me and said something.
“What?” I said. “I can’t read your lips with that thing in your mouth, Jesse.”
I tested his reaction as I gently pulled on the binky. He had no problem letting me remove it from his mouth. "What did you say?" I asked him. He looked at me and said, “I love you.”
I smiled. At least this was something he could sign, even with that thing in his mouth. I told him I love him, too, gave him an extra kiss then gave him back his binky. Then I reminded him that “I love you” is something he could sign. I showed him the sign for “I love you” and he did his best to sign it the normal way, not his way. But it’s close enough, and at least this way I get what he is saying whether or not I can lipread him.
Certain changes in his life have meant disposing of the binky. For one thing, he has started preschool, so on the days he goes to preschool (two days of the week), I tell him “no binky at school” before we head out the door in the mornings (on weekdays) and he’ll happily spit the pacifier into the sink (I wash them religiously so we have taught him to spit used binkies into the sink).
For another thing, he has gotten pretty talkative now – and I just can’t lipread him when he has the binky in his mouth. I have told him several times, “I can’t read your lips with that thing in your mouth.” Of course, he has continued to try to talk to me with the binky in his mouth. And, for some time, I have been telling him the same thing: “I can’t read your lips with that thing in your mouth!”
He does know some signs, and even as he tries to sign other things, he hasn’t quite mastered it yet. So for things he can’t sign, we rely on lipreading to understand what he is saying.
As often I have tried to get him to understand that I can’t read his lips when he talks to me with the binky, it really never got through to him, because he kept trying to talk to me with that binky in his mouth. I feel that, perhaps, tonight, I have finally made some progress.
After I gave Jesse his bath this evening, I had him on my bed, drying him off. He was trying to talk to me, but he had the binky in his mouth. (I had promised him he could have it back after his bath.) I stopped drying him off, got to his level, and explained in as simple language as I could that I needed to see his mouth when he is talking to me and his dad. I can’t understand him when he talks with the binky in his mouth. Gradually, I coaxed the binky out of his mouth and told him to tell me again what he said. He pointed at his leg then said that he has an owie. (He got a scratch on his leg last week and, ever since, it has been his cross to bear.) I acknowledged his owie and reminded him, as I had before, that it would go away. He got his binky back and I finished toweling him off then dressed him. After we brushed his teeth, he said goodnight to his big sister (who gets to stay up tonight because of no school tomorrow) and I put him to bed.
As I was saying goodnight to him, giving him hugs and kisses and telling him goodnight, he stood still in his crib, looked at me and said something.
“What?” I said. “I can’t read your lips with that thing in your mouth, Jesse.”
I tested his reaction as I gently pulled on the binky. He had no problem letting me remove it from his mouth. "What did you say?" I asked him. He looked at me and said, “I love you.”
I smiled. At least this was something he could sign, even with that thing in his mouth. I told him I love him, too, gave him an extra kiss then gave him back his binky. Then I reminded him that “I love you” is something he could sign. I showed him the sign for “I love you” and he did his best to sign it the normal way, not his way. But it’s close enough, and at least this way I get what he is saying whether or not I can lipread him.
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
Down with diapers!
I have a new mantra: Down with diapers! Up until today, we have been going back and forth on the pottytraining thing with Jesse. Some days were good, some not so good. Today, however, I feel more confident about this pottytraining stuff, because today I got Jesse everything he needed: A potty training seat and his own underwear.
Yep, that's right. His first underwear! No more diapers!
I have, however, kept a few of his diapers on hand, mainly because he WILL be wearing them for his naps and at bedtime. But other than that, he's going to be wearing the underwear and not much else besides a T-shirt. I think it would be better if he mastered the whole picking up on when he had to go potty, experiencing the accidents and learning how to pull the underwear down and up thing before I add pants to that mix.
This is the way my mom pottytrained her kids and grandkids. I have heard of some parents letting their toddlers run around with NOTHING covering the bottom, but I don't feel comfortable about that. I think it's better to have him wearing underwear instead. Worked for my mom, so maybe it will work for us, too.
I have also noticed, as I worked with him today, that he got impatient waiting for something to happen while he sat on his potty. So I got a bunch of his books and put them into a drawer by his potty chair. I joked to Jennifer about how I never understood the whole "boys and reading while on the potty" thing and she admitted that she liked to read while using the potty, too. So she, too, had some of her books put into the bathroom. I guess I am the only one in this family who doesn't read while on the toilet!
The book thing worked like a charm. He quietly sat on his potty chair, going through his books. Sometimes, though, he would say he had to go potty and when he was on that thing, nothing happened. I think he just wanted to sit on an uber comfy seat and enjoy his books!
The potty chair I got for Jesse had an inflatable seat on it. I told Jennifer they didn't have anything like that when she was pottytraining and she was NOT happy. I told her the potty chairs they have for babies now are so different than what they had when she was a baby. Heck, one of them even plays music! And Jesse's even has a bar on it for toilet paper. We no longer have Jennifer's original pottytraining seat but it was interesting to compare how they were all different. The one thing that stayed the same, however, is that Jesse's chair can be converted to a stepping stool, just like Jennifer's was.
I'll be working with Jesse this week on getting this pottytraining thing down pat. And I just may start reading on the toilet, too -- not while using it!! -- because I have noticed that sometimes it takes him a while to go to the bathroom and determine if he is done.
At first, he wanted to check out the potty chair, take it apart and put it back together again, and I read this is normal at first. I am reading EVERYTHING I can on this pottytraining stuff -- not so much to refresh my memory but also because this time it is with a BOY! And I read that you should teach boys how to pee sitting down first, then later how to do so standing up. (That will be where his father will come in.)
It has been quite a challenge but I know it's important to stick with it. After all, Jesse is READY for this phase of his life. So I have to keep at it until he figures out how to do this on his own.
Yep, that's right. His first underwear! No more diapers!
I have, however, kept a few of his diapers on hand, mainly because he WILL be wearing them for his naps and at bedtime. But other than that, he's going to be wearing the underwear and not much else besides a T-shirt. I think it would be better if he mastered the whole picking up on when he had to go potty, experiencing the accidents and learning how to pull the underwear down and up thing before I add pants to that mix.
This is the way my mom pottytrained her kids and grandkids. I have heard of some parents letting their toddlers run around with NOTHING covering the bottom, but I don't feel comfortable about that. I think it's better to have him wearing underwear instead. Worked for my mom, so maybe it will work for us, too.
I have also noticed, as I worked with him today, that he got impatient waiting for something to happen while he sat on his potty. So I got a bunch of his books and put them into a drawer by his potty chair. I joked to Jennifer about how I never understood the whole "boys and reading while on the potty" thing and she admitted that she liked to read while using the potty, too. So she, too, had some of her books put into the bathroom. I guess I am the only one in this family who doesn't read while on the toilet!
The book thing worked like a charm. He quietly sat on his potty chair, going through his books. Sometimes, though, he would say he had to go potty and when he was on that thing, nothing happened. I think he just wanted to sit on an uber comfy seat and enjoy his books!
The potty chair I got for Jesse had an inflatable seat on it. I told Jennifer they didn't have anything like that when she was pottytraining and she was NOT happy. I told her the potty chairs they have for babies now are so different than what they had when she was a baby. Heck, one of them even plays music! And Jesse's even has a bar on it for toilet paper. We no longer have Jennifer's original pottytraining seat but it was interesting to compare how they were all different. The one thing that stayed the same, however, is that Jesse's chair can be converted to a stepping stool, just like Jennifer's was.
I'll be working with Jesse this week on getting this pottytraining thing down pat. And I just may start reading on the toilet, too -- not while using it!! -- because I have noticed that sometimes it takes him a while to go to the bathroom and determine if he is done.
At first, he wanted to check out the potty chair, take it apart and put it back together again, and I read this is normal at first. I am reading EVERYTHING I can on this pottytraining stuff -- not so much to refresh my memory but also because this time it is with a BOY! And I read that you should teach boys how to pee sitting down first, then later how to do so standing up. (That will be where his father will come in.)
It has been quite a challenge but I know it's important to stick with it. After all, Jesse is READY for this phase of his life. So I have to keep at it until he figures out how to do this on his own.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
It's beginning to look a lot like September
It's that time of the year again! Line up, troops! Backs straight and eyes forward! Pencils sharp and lunchboxes packed!
It's.....
BACK TO SCHOOL TIME!
And as if to herald this busy time of the year, I was on the phone for over an hour the other day making all the necessary doctor and dentist appointments. (Gotta keep those kids in tip-top shape, dontcha know!) I even scheduled a check-up for the dog!
And last night, I was going over various extracurricular classes for the kids to take this fall. In the end, I chose swimming, gymnastics, karate and music for the both of them. (Well, Jesse's not old enough for karate yet, but he, too, will be taking swimming, gymnastics and music. He'll also have a "toddler playtime" class on days he doesn't have preschool.) Despite the busy schedule in place with all of these activities, Jennifer wants to do one or two more things! As it is, she will have Friday and Saturday "off." I told her, "You will be grateful for those days off!" Still, she wants to do more. So I thought that maybe it would be a good idea for me to find a "mommy and me" class that we could take together, on Saturdays. Since Jesse will have a "mommy and me" class for the swimming, it's only fair that Jennifer has one, too. We've narrowed it down to a few options: Yoga, art and cooking. I hope I can find something that will take place on Saturdays. She wants to be a chef, so I am hoping I can find a cooking class we can take together. (I love to cook, too, so that should be fun!)
We've been buying the kids new clothes and shoes for the new school year. Jennifer also wants a new backpack, even though her dad says the one she has now is fine. But we both think it would be neat to have a new backpack for the new school year, so we'll keep our eyes peeled for a good one. She also wants a new lunchbox. After three years with the same old lunchbox, I agree that it's time to retire it for something new.
As to Jesse, I am planning to enroll him in the same preschool Jennifer went to. This time, however, he'll be attending two days of the week, instead of four. I also want to start him off on the "half day" schedule, just until he gets used to this. (OK, OK. Until I get used to this, too!) We have been working on pottytraining him, to get him ready for this. That in itself has been a work-in-progress. He has done well with it but just having trouble recognizing when he has to go to the bathroom. So we have to keep asking him, "Do you have to go potty?" So we are working with him on that. I can't believe my baby boy is almost three years old! Time sure flies. Wow.
But I know this will be good for him. He needs to build those social skills and explore his physical skills. I have every faith in Kim to be able to work with Jesse and also nurture his creative growth. I just hope we can still get him in there!
It's not just the kids who are going to school this year. I will be "attending" school, too! But, only on a part-time basis -- one, on account of the baby, and two, because the school I'll be taking classes at is soooo far away. It's about an hour away! And, three, because by going part-time, it won't cost an arm and a leg to take the class. I'm starting with ONE class and I'll work my way through it. The classes I'm taking are mostly available online. I think there are one or two of them I'll need to take that are not available online at this time. But that can come later. By the time I'll need to take those courses, the baby will be in kindergarten (not a baby anymore!), so I'll have time to make that commute. I have been talking with an instructor of the courses and checking out what I need to do. This is for the medical coding job. The training will last for 3-4 years at the rate I am going -- which is fine by me, really. I need to have this time so that I can still be available for my children and be at home until the baby is older. I DO want my kids to be independent and self-sufficient, but they are still too young for a lot of things that go with that.
Overall, it's going to be a REALLY busy autumn/winter. Of course, I'll also have to get Jennifer signed up for basketball, when that time comes. (She plays it every year.) I'm excited about this new adventure and I know the kids will be happy to learn all these new things, too. They have enjoyed their "lazy time" during the summer. Now it's time to get back to that old school desk, and to get busy!
It's.....
BACK TO SCHOOL TIME!
And as if to herald this busy time of the year, I was on the phone for over an hour the other day making all the necessary doctor and dentist appointments. (Gotta keep those kids in tip-top shape, dontcha know!) I even scheduled a check-up for the dog!
And last night, I was going over various extracurricular classes for the kids to take this fall. In the end, I chose swimming, gymnastics, karate and music for the both of them. (Well, Jesse's not old enough for karate yet, but he, too, will be taking swimming, gymnastics and music. He'll also have a "toddler playtime" class on days he doesn't have preschool.) Despite the busy schedule in place with all of these activities, Jennifer wants to do one or two more things! As it is, she will have Friday and Saturday "off." I told her, "You will be grateful for those days off!" Still, she wants to do more. So I thought that maybe it would be a good idea for me to find a "mommy and me" class that we could take together, on Saturdays. Since Jesse will have a "mommy and me" class for the swimming, it's only fair that Jennifer has one, too. We've narrowed it down to a few options: Yoga, art and cooking. I hope I can find something that will take place on Saturdays. She wants to be a chef, so I am hoping I can find a cooking class we can take together. (I love to cook, too, so that should be fun!)
We've been buying the kids new clothes and shoes for the new school year. Jennifer also wants a new backpack, even though her dad says the one she has now is fine. But we both think it would be neat to have a new backpack for the new school year, so we'll keep our eyes peeled for a good one. She also wants a new lunchbox. After three years with the same old lunchbox, I agree that it's time to retire it for something new.
As to Jesse, I am planning to enroll him in the same preschool Jennifer went to. This time, however, he'll be attending two days of the week, instead of four. I also want to start him off on the "half day" schedule, just until he gets used to this. (OK, OK. Until I get used to this, too!) We have been working on pottytraining him, to get him ready for this. That in itself has been a work-in-progress. He has done well with it but just having trouble recognizing when he has to go to the bathroom. So we have to keep asking him, "Do you have to go potty?" So we are working with him on that. I can't believe my baby boy is almost three years old! Time sure flies. Wow.
But I know this will be good for him. He needs to build those social skills and explore his physical skills. I have every faith in Kim to be able to work with Jesse and also nurture his creative growth. I just hope we can still get him in there!
It's not just the kids who are going to school this year. I will be "attending" school, too! But, only on a part-time basis -- one, on account of the baby, and two, because the school I'll be taking classes at is soooo far away. It's about an hour away! And, three, because by going part-time, it won't cost an arm and a leg to take the class. I'm starting with ONE class and I'll work my way through it. The classes I'm taking are mostly available online. I think there are one or two of them I'll need to take that are not available online at this time. But that can come later. By the time I'll need to take those courses, the baby will be in kindergarten (not a baby anymore!), so I'll have time to make that commute. I have been talking with an instructor of the courses and checking out what I need to do. This is for the medical coding job. The training will last for 3-4 years at the rate I am going -- which is fine by me, really. I need to have this time so that I can still be available for my children and be at home until the baby is older. I DO want my kids to be independent and self-sufficient, but they are still too young for a lot of things that go with that.
Overall, it's going to be a REALLY busy autumn/winter. Of course, I'll also have to get Jennifer signed up for basketball, when that time comes. (She plays it every year.) I'm excited about this new adventure and I know the kids will be happy to learn all these new things, too. They have enjoyed their "lazy time" during the summer. Now it's time to get back to that old school desk, and to get busy!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
The only girl on the team
Today was Jennifer's first day playing baseball again. Last year, when I registered her to play, they put her into softball. I had to request that she be placed into baseball, as I had requested when I signed her up. This year, they did the same thing! Oy. Jennifer and I both think baseball is better than softball. As she said, "Softball is for sissies." (haha) Not to put down anyone playing softball (she actually has a couple of friends playing on softball teams), but we loves us some good ol' fashioned baseball. Put me in, coach!
But before she could even get to her first practice, there was a bit of a hurdle I had to get over. The practices were scheduled late in the day. I was worried the kids would be playing baseball in the dark! The practices actually end right around the time I put my children to bed. I was sending emails back and forth and making a phone call about this. I was just concerned about this being so late on a school night. Finally, today, I just decided, you know what? We will give it a shot. Let's see what happens. If it is indeed too dark at that time, if it is indeed late when I get the kids into bed after baseball practice, and see if we can just wing it. School will be out soon enough, after all. Let's just wait and see.
So, that's what we did. We loaded up into the car and went to baseball practice. I was nervous about going since, after all, I hadn't been feeling well today (I had a horrible episode of bad chest pain that nearly made me pass out last night and then again early this morning -- Jennifer was even crying and scared that I was dying!). I was also nervous about yet another round of meeting hearing parents, trying to communicate with them, and explaining that I am deaf, etc. But, we went. We still went. When we got there, the field was so dang soggy. I kept sinking into the ground. It had been raining so much during the day, I wasn't surprised the ground was so entrenched. (This had been another concern of mine. I was worried it might rain AGAIN and the practice might be canceled. The coach said that, unless there was a hurricane, the practice was still on! Now, see, this is what separates a true Oregonian from some wuss running away and screaming like a girl every time it rains.) I noted some of the moms wearing rain boots and made a mental note to A: Get rain boots and B: Wear them to baseball practices and baseball games after it's been raining all day.
I met one of the parents there, a dad with two sons on the team. I was nervous about talking with one of the parents but after I explained I am deaf and must read lips, he surprised me by saying he knew a little sign language. Enough to fingerspell things, anyway. HOORAY! This made me feel a little more comfortable in trying to communicate with one of the parents. It's so nice to meet somebody who knows sign language or who, at least, can fingerspell words.
I was watching the team and tried to see if there were other girls there. I couldn't see any so I asked the dad if there were any other girls. He looked through the team and shook his head. Nope. Jennifer was the only girl on the team. But he said there were no girls there "today." I guess maybe there will be a girl added to the team later on. Or maybe not. Really, we're ok with it. I was just curious. Jennifer is used to playing with boys (she IS a tomboy!) and the point is to just play baseball. Not have some kind of "gender war" going on in the team, or anything. I started to think if there are any movies or books Jen can read about baseball teams where there is just one girl on the team and issues to deal with, etc. I guess I was just too caught up remembering the movie I'd watched earlier in the day, where there was a military operation with just ONE girl in the unit and a lot of the guys treated her like crap and gave her a lot of crap to deal with. (And, no, it was not G.I. Jane. I haven't even seen that movie!) Hopefully, her being the odd girl out won't be an issue.
Well, this dad took pictures of the team members and said he could email me the pics. I gave him my email addy. (My digi cam is still packed. UGH! Can you believe we're still unpacking?? But we are getting close to FINALLY getting 100% settled into our new house. I would really, really like to find my camera, though. Oh, and my extra spatula!) The dad I spoke with also mentioned that he and his wife run a preschool, probably because of Jesse being with us, in his stroller. I had plans to enroll Jesse into Kim's school, actually, around the spring, but I wanted to check out their school all the same. I don't even know if Kim is still doing the preschool thing! (It's the one Jennifer went to.)
Even though it got VERY COLD (I was standing there, freezing my butt off!) and my allergies started up (oh, yay), we got through the practice. It was still daylight when we arrived and starting to get dark when it was over. It was not TOO dark, though. I was okay with it. The whole thing means Jennifer's bedtime gets compromised on a school night, but it is only for two days out of the week and maybe we will get used to it.
At least she'll get to play baseball. Batter up!
But before she could even get to her first practice, there was a bit of a hurdle I had to get over. The practices were scheduled late in the day. I was worried the kids would be playing baseball in the dark! The practices actually end right around the time I put my children to bed. I was sending emails back and forth and making a phone call about this. I was just concerned about this being so late on a school night. Finally, today, I just decided, you know what? We will give it a shot. Let's see what happens. If it is indeed too dark at that time, if it is indeed late when I get the kids into bed after baseball practice, and see if we can just wing it. School will be out soon enough, after all. Let's just wait and see.
So, that's what we did. We loaded up into the car and went to baseball practice. I was nervous about going since, after all, I hadn't been feeling well today (I had a horrible episode of bad chest pain that nearly made me pass out last night and then again early this morning -- Jennifer was even crying and scared that I was dying!). I was also nervous about yet another round of meeting hearing parents, trying to communicate with them, and explaining that I am deaf, etc. But, we went. We still went. When we got there, the field was so dang soggy. I kept sinking into the ground. It had been raining so much during the day, I wasn't surprised the ground was so entrenched. (This had been another concern of mine. I was worried it might rain AGAIN and the practice might be canceled. The coach said that, unless there was a hurricane, the practice was still on! Now, see, this is what separates a true Oregonian from some wuss running away and screaming like a girl every time it rains.) I noted some of the moms wearing rain boots and made a mental note to A: Get rain boots and B: Wear them to baseball practices and baseball games after it's been raining all day.
I met one of the parents there, a dad with two sons on the team. I was nervous about talking with one of the parents but after I explained I am deaf and must read lips, he surprised me by saying he knew a little sign language. Enough to fingerspell things, anyway. HOORAY! This made me feel a little more comfortable in trying to communicate with one of the parents. It's so nice to meet somebody who knows sign language or who, at least, can fingerspell words.
I was watching the team and tried to see if there were other girls there. I couldn't see any so I asked the dad if there were any other girls. He looked through the team and shook his head. Nope. Jennifer was the only girl on the team. But he said there were no girls there "today." I guess maybe there will be a girl added to the team later on. Or maybe not. Really, we're ok with it. I was just curious. Jennifer is used to playing with boys (she IS a tomboy!) and the point is to just play baseball. Not have some kind of "gender war" going on in the team, or anything. I started to think if there are any movies or books Jen can read about baseball teams where there is just one girl on the team and issues to deal with, etc. I guess I was just too caught up remembering the movie I'd watched earlier in the day, where there was a military operation with just ONE girl in the unit and a lot of the guys treated her like crap and gave her a lot of crap to deal with. (And, no, it was not G.I. Jane. I haven't even seen that movie!) Hopefully, her being the odd girl out won't be an issue.
Well, this dad took pictures of the team members and said he could email me the pics. I gave him my email addy. (My digi cam is still packed. UGH! Can you believe we're still unpacking?? But we are getting close to FINALLY getting 100% settled into our new house. I would really, really like to find my camera, though. Oh, and my extra spatula!) The dad I spoke with also mentioned that he and his wife run a preschool, probably because of Jesse being with us, in his stroller. I had plans to enroll Jesse into Kim's school, actually, around the spring, but I wanted to check out their school all the same. I don't even know if Kim is still doing the preschool thing! (It's the one Jennifer went to.)
Even though it got VERY COLD (I was standing there, freezing my butt off!) and my allergies started up (oh, yay), we got through the practice. It was still daylight when we arrived and starting to get dark when it was over. It was not TOO dark, though. I was okay with it. The whole thing means Jennifer's bedtime gets compromised on a school night, but it is only for two days out of the week and maybe we will get used to it.
At least she'll get to play baseball. Batter up!
Friday, May 14, 2010
Jennifer's day
I sort of dreaded today getting here. The reason why? Jennifer had a talent show at her school today. And I didn't want to go.
Don't get me wrong; I am all for supporting my daughter's talents. I'm ready to cheer her on no matter what she pursues in life. I'll always be her biggest fan, her coach, her cheerleading team and her comfort group. I just didn't want to go to the talent show this one time. And it wasn't because of her. It was because of me.
Lately, I've started to think maybe there's a reason why I don't have a REAL friend here in Eugene. Maybe it's because...people just don't like me. It doesn't help that two different women have stared at me in horror. You would think that, as adults, they were mature enough to look past the burn scars on my face and try to see the real me. But....I guess not. It also doesn't help that a certain mom has decided she no longer wants to talk to me and her daughter cannot play with Jennifer anymore.
Of course I'm crushed I am rejected by everyone. It makes me sad. And angry. The anger only built up, adding to other reasons for anger that I carry. And it made me into a very bitter, angry and negative person. I just gave up trying to win somebody's friendship.
And today, I was hit with another blow by someone. I will blog about that later.
Anyway...that is why I didn't want to go to the talent show. I try to stay hidden if I can. Hidden away with these burn scars, since I am so rejected here and looked upon with horror. (Yeah, you can start up the violins now. LOL)
But...this was not about me. I tried to keep telling myself that. THIS WAS NOT ABOUT ME. This was Jennifer's moment. If it was a book signing, I would go. Though I would resent going, because I'd rather hide away my burned face. But, still! I was being selfish. I knew this. I was giving a petty reason to avoid something that would bring my daughter happiness.
Of course, she understood why I didn't want to go. I told her, "I don't want people to see me." And she kept insisting I am "beautiful" and that she's happy to be seen with me. (That is my baby girl. Her love is so unconditional. She would walk on hot coals for me!!) But, she understood. You know? Even when I apologized for being so selfish for not taking her to the talent show, she said, "What talent show?"
So she rode her bike. She played with her friends. We played a game of checkers while splitting a glass of root beer. She played basketball with kids at the park. She had fun. I even gave her and her friends ice cream sandwiches. (One of her friends is insanely polite. I respect him being such a gentleman but I have to chuckle about it.)
Then....I came to my senses. I FINALLY convinced myself...I can't do this to Jennifer. She has rehearsed for this. She was supposed to sing! She had to be on that stage and sing! So what if people stared?? So what if my clothes were frumpy and I wore no make-up and just looked God-awful? This was Jennifer's moment! JENNIFER WOULD SING!!
So I got the kids dressed up, especially Jennifer, and we went to the talent show. We were late, but she still sang. And I went there smiling, unafraid of looks or any other forms of negativity from people. My baby was going to be on stage singing and I was going to cheer her on! That's what I did. And I realized that as I smiled, laughed, clapped and cheered, people smiled, too. People around us were happy, just as I was happy. It was such an amazing thing to see. I may as well have had no burn scars at all. Everybody smiled just as I smiled. It was so wonderful to feel so accepted.
We left the talent show laughing and cheering about how much fun we had. I treated the kids to Happy Meals at McDonald's for dinner and the three of us watched a movie on the couch afterwards.
It was a great day for Jennifer. And, you know what? It was a great day for me, too.
Don't get me wrong; I am all for supporting my daughter's talents. I'm ready to cheer her on no matter what she pursues in life. I'll always be her biggest fan, her coach, her cheerleading team and her comfort group. I just didn't want to go to the talent show this one time. And it wasn't because of her. It was because of me.
Lately, I've started to think maybe there's a reason why I don't have a REAL friend here in Eugene. Maybe it's because...people just don't like me. It doesn't help that two different women have stared at me in horror. You would think that, as adults, they were mature enough to look past the burn scars on my face and try to see the real me. But....I guess not. It also doesn't help that a certain mom has decided she no longer wants to talk to me and her daughter cannot play with Jennifer anymore.
Of course I'm crushed I am rejected by everyone. It makes me sad. And angry. The anger only built up, adding to other reasons for anger that I carry. And it made me into a very bitter, angry and negative person. I just gave up trying to win somebody's friendship.
And today, I was hit with another blow by someone. I will blog about that later.
Anyway...that is why I didn't want to go to the talent show. I try to stay hidden if I can. Hidden away with these burn scars, since I am so rejected here and looked upon with horror. (Yeah, you can start up the violins now. LOL)
But...this was not about me. I tried to keep telling myself that. THIS WAS NOT ABOUT ME. This was Jennifer's moment. If it was a book signing, I would go. Though I would resent going, because I'd rather hide away my burned face. But, still! I was being selfish. I knew this. I was giving a petty reason to avoid something that would bring my daughter happiness.
Of course, she understood why I didn't want to go. I told her, "I don't want people to see me." And she kept insisting I am "beautiful" and that she's happy to be seen with me. (That is my baby girl. Her love is so unconditional. She would walk on hot coals for me!!) But, she understood. You know? Even when I apologized for being so selfish for not taking her to the talent show, she said, "What talent show?"
So she rode her bike. She played with her friends. We played a game of checkers while splitting a glass of root beer. She played basketball with kids at the park. She had fun. I even gave her and her friends ice cream sandwiches. (One of her friends is insanely polite. I respect him being such a gentleman but I have to chuckle about it.)
Then....I came to my senses. I FINALLY convinced myself...I can't do this to Jennifer. She has rehearsed for this. She was supposed to sing! She had to be on that stage and sing! So what if people stared?? So what if my clothes were frumpy and I wore no make-up and just looked God-awful? This was Jennifer's moment! JENNIFER WOULD SING!!
So I got the kids dressed up, especially Jennifer, and we went to the talent show. We were late, but she still sang. And I went there smiling, unafraid of looks or any other forms of negativity from people. My baby was going to be on stage singing and I was going to cheer her on! That's what I did. And I realized that as I smiled, laughed, clapped and cheered, people smiled, too. People around us were happy, just as I was happy. It was such an amazing thing to see. I may as well have had no burn scars at all. Everybody smiled just as I smiled. It was so wonderful to feel so accepted.
We left the talent show laughing and cheering about how much fun we had. I treated the kids to Happy Meals at McDonald's for dinner and the three of us watched a movie on the couch afterwards.
It was a great day for Jennifer. And, you know what? It was a great day for me, too.
Monday, April 26, 2010
New house, new worries
Recently, we moved into a new house. We're still in Eugene, just not in West Eugene like before. I had a hard time grasping that we were finally moving out of the house on West 11th. It felt like we were going to be there forever! Even though I knew it was only a "transitional home" for us when me and my daughter moved there after my divorce. Well, the change I wanted for us wasn't the change I'd hoped for, but we definitely have moved on past that and taking the next step of having a more "family home" was long overdue. And it finally happened. I'm still amazed it finally happened but really enjoying our new home. Which I hope we will stay in for a VERY. LONG. TIME. Seriously, I'd forgotten how physically exhausting it is to move into a new home! There were days I was too sore to move after carrying boxes and furniture around. Ugh. Well, the plan is, if we move again, we're going to get a farm. We want horses and chickens and a cow and even pigs! But for now, we're staying put right here.
The new house has hardwood floors, which is something we have wanted for some time. My back is getting acquainted with the agonies of sweeping lots of floors again (as a teen, my parents lived in a house with very little carpet, and my back would HURT from sweeping all of those floors.) I am also learning how to properly care for the floors BUT I am not yet liking the idea of not wearing my shoes. Granted, I know I shouldn't, since my shoes are very old and messed up and they'll scuff the floors if I'm not careful, but I can't afford new shoes right now so hubby has been irritated I don't want to wear my slippers instead. Well, wouldn't you know it; the Great Shoe Debate has once again reared its ugly head. I don't like going barefoot because I don't want my feet to get dirty. I don't like only wearing socks because they, too, get dirty (I wear only white socks) and even wet. I don't like wearing slippers; I prefer SHOES. I'm just one of those people who likes to be READY to jump up and head out the door. Not stop to put on my shoes first. YUCK! When I get new shoes, I'm going to get two pairs, because I am going to start walking/running again since we're in a good area for it and I won't want to wear my running shoes on the nice floors after a run. I'll have house shoes for the house and running shoes for the outdoorsy stuff.
Still, I do really like the new house. It is bigger and brighter. And I don't have to carry a basket of fresh dried laundry through the rain anymore; the washer AND dryer are both in the adjoining garage, instead of one inside the house and the other in a storage room out in the backyard, like at the old house. Also, yes! We have a GARAGE! It's good because we have a safe place to store things (my friend's son had a bicycle stolen from my car port when he had left it there) and even keep our cars in it. No more walking out to a busy street with little kids to get them into the car!
Oh, that's another thing. We don't live on a busy street anymore. Hooray!! Granted, I did enjoy watching the traffic drive by from my front porch, but I was too nervous to let the kids play out front with all that busy traffic. Now Jennifer plays out front all the time (and sometimes, Jesse, when he is supervised).
Another thing that's changed? Jennifer is riding the bus to school now. Hooray! She is thrilled about this. She had been begging me and begging me to ride the bus to school before. But I always figured that, since her school was only 5 minutes away, there was no reason to take the bus. Now we live a little further from her school (thank God she doesn't have to transfer to another school! In Oregon, you're allowed to attend any school you'd like even if you don't live in that school district) so now she rides the bus. A bigger bonus is that now she's eager to get up for school in the mornings, get ready, eat breakfast and get going to catch her bus. She has not been late for any one day since she started riding the bus. AWESOME! If I had known that riding the bus meant Jennifer would be more eager to get ready for school in the mornings and get out the door, I would have signed her up for that a looong time ago. Thankfully, finally, our mornings are more drama-free.
The kids now each have their own room. Jennifer is ecstatic about that and Jesse is figuring out how a whole room is actually "his." Also, we have a bigger backyard now. Yay! Big enough for the kids to finally have a swingset. When we lived in California, Jennifer had a swingset in our front yard, but we had to leave it behind (with other things we could not bring). Then we didn't have a yard big enough for a new one. Now we do! That along with other stuff, like lawn furniture. We just need to get the yard cleaned up and fixed nice and purty, fix a part of the fence, then we can get the swingset and other things we plan to have in our backyard.
And because part of our fence in the backyard is broken, I can't let Jesse out there alone. In fact, I try to keep him as far away from that area of the yard as possible, which isn't so hard given that he likes to play around the shed, anyway. This big backyard is awesome for him; he gets to practice kicking and throwing a ball, running (though he has fallen down quite a bit) and just exercising his flexibility in walking up and down the path to the shed.
The neighbors here are REALLY nice. Everybody came out to meet us and welcome us to the neighborhood. This is also different from when we lived on West 11th. When I moved there with Jennifer, I had to walk over and meet my neighbors. But, even so, they were awesome neighbors. I will miss not being able to say "hi" to Darrell, Heather, Lilly, Tobby, Mark and Carol. But at least I will see them some of the time and I do stay in touch with some of them via e-mail. Also, my old landlord's business is not far from here. In fact, the kids and I walked over there yesterday.
We also live just 5 minutes from a park. Yay! Before, we had to walk 20-30 minutes to the park, but now we're just a hop, skip and a jump from it. Jen goes there a lot. She has made lots of new friends in this neighborhood (including finding out that a boy at her school, who no longer attends the school, lives nearby), so she's there Monday through Friday riding bikes, playing on the swings or shooting hoops. We went there yesterday, too, and both of the kids had such fun playing there.
All the same, I do have new worries to deal with. Jesse is able to unlock both the front door and the door in the kitchen leading to the garage, so we have to get safety locks for them. Also, I have learned, the hard way, to only run the dishwasher when the baby is sleeping. Otherwise, he fools around with the dials and messes up the wash cycle! Also, he gets into the fridge, so we have to keep an eye out for that. (He once took a jug of lemonade with him into Jennifer's room, sat down and started drinking from it in there. We don't allow food or drinks in the bedrooms so I have to bring him back to the kitchen to either pour something into a sippy cup and sit him at the table or put something, like a cookie, onto a plate for him.) I also discovered that the BEST TIME to sweep is also during the baby's naps or after he has gone to bed. It is impossible to sweep the floors and keep him from getting into everything or running out into the garage at the same time. Hubby does sweep, too, so there is that if I can't get around to it.
My time available for the computer has greatly decreased because of said worries. As I type this, the baby is napping. I grab time for writing, blogging, phone calls, checking E-mail and reading E-books to write reviews for whenever possible. I may not be online as much as before, but I'll still be here. Ultimately, meeting my deadlines come first (for SIGNews, my book contracts and turning in book reviews), but if I have some free time to check in with friends and family, or even send out a tweet, then it'll happen.
The new house has hardwood floors, which is something we have wanted for some time. My back is getting acquainted with the agonies of sweeping lots of floors again (as a teen, my parents lived in a house with very little carpet, and my back would HURT from sweeping all of those floors.) I am also learning how to properly care for the floors BUT I am not yet liking the idea of not wearing my shoes. Granted, I know I shouldn't, since my shoes are very old and messed up and they'll scuff the floors if I'm not careful, but I can't afford new shoes right now so hubby has been irritated I don't want to wear my slippers instead. Well, wouldn't you know it; the Great Shoe Debate has once again reared its ugly head. I don't like going barefoot because I don't want my feet to get dirty. I don't like only wearing socks because they, too, get dirty (I wear only white socks) and even wet. I don't like wearing slippers; I prefer SHOES. I'm just one of those people who likes to be READY to jump up and head out the door. Not stop to put on my shoes first. YUCK! When I get new shoes, I'm going to get two pairs, because I am going to start walking/running again since we're in a good area for it and I won't want to wear my running shoes on the nice floors after a run. I'll have house shoes for the house and running shoes for the outdoorsy stuff.
Still, I do really like the new house. It is bigger and brighter. And I don't have to carry a basket of fresh dried laundry through the rain anymore; the washer AND dryer are both in the adjoining garage, instead of one inside the house and the other in a storage room out in the backyard, like at the old house. Also, yes! We have a GARAGE! It's good because we have a safe place to store things (my friend's son had a bicycle stolen from my car port when he had left it there) and even keep our cars in it. No more walking out to a busy street with little kids to get them into the car!
Oh, that's another thing. We don't live on a busy street anymore. Hooray!! Granted, I did enjoy watching the traffic drive by from my front porch, but I was too nervous to let the kids play out front with all that busy traffic. Now Jennifer plays out front all the time (and sometimes, Jesse, when he is supervised).
Another thing that's changed? Jennifer is riding the bus to school now. Hooray! She is thrilled about this. She had been begging me and begging me to ride the bus to school before. But I always figured that, since her school was only 5 minutes away, there was no reason to take the bus. Now we live a little further from her school (thank God she doesn't have to transfer to another school! In Oregon, you're allowed to attend any school you'd like even if you don't live in that school district) so now she rides the bus. A bigger bonus is that now she's eager to get up for school in the mornings, get ready, eat breakfast and get going to catch her bus. She has not been late for any one day since she started riding the bus. AWESOME! If I had known that riding the bus meant Jennifer would be more eager to get ready for school in the mornings and get out the door, I would have signed her up for that a looong time ago. Thankfully, finally, our mornings are more drama-free.
The kids now each have their own room. Jennifer is ecstatic about that and Jesse is figuring out how a whole room is actually "his." Also, we have a bigger backyard now. Yay! Big enough for the kids to finally have a swingset. When we lived in California, Jennifer had a swingset in our front yard, but we had to leave it behind (with other things we could not bring). Then we didn't have a yard big enough for a new one. Now we do! That along with other stuff, like lawn furniture. We just need to get the yard cleaned up and fixed nice and purty, fix a part of the fence, then we can get the swingset and other things we plan to have in our backyard.
And because part of our fence in the backyard is broken, I can't let Jesse out there alone. In fact, I try to keep him as far away from that area of the yard as possible, which isn't so hard given that he likes to play around the shed, anyway. This big backyard is awesome for him; he gets to practice kicking and throwing a ball, running (though he has fallen down quite a bit) and just exercising his flexibility in walking up and down the path to the shed.
The neighbors here are REALLY nice. Everybody came out to meet us and welcome us to the neighborhood. This is also different from when we lived on West 11th. When I moved there with Jennifer, I had to walk over and meet my neighbors. But, even so, they were awesome neighbors. I will miss not being able to say "hi" to Darrell, Heather, Lilly, Tobby, Mark and Carol. But at least I will see them some of the time and I do stay in touch with some of them via e-mail. Also, my old landlord's business is not far from here. In fact, the kids and I walked over there yesterday.
We also live just 5 minutes from a park. Yay! Before, we had to walk 20-30 minutes to the park, but now we're just a hop, skip and a jump from it. Jen goes there a lot. She has made lots of new friends in this neighborhood (including finding out that a boy at her school, who no longer attends the school, lives nearby), so she's there Monday through Friday riding bikes, playing on the swings or shooting hoops. We went there yesterday, too, and both of the kids had such fun playing there.
All the same, I do have new worries to deal with. Jesse is able to unlock both the front door and the door in the kitchen leading to the garage, so we have to get safety locks for them. Also, I have learned, the hard way, to only run the dishwasher when the baby is sleeping. Otherwise, he fools around with the dials and messes up the wash cycle! Also, he gets into the fridge, so we have to keep an eye out for that. (He once took a jug of lemonade with him into Jennifer's room, sat down and started drinking from it in there. We don't allow food or drinks in the bedrooms so I have to bring him back to the kitchen to either pour something into a sippy cup and sit him at the table or put something, like a cookie, onto a plate for him.) I also discovered that the BEST TIME to sweep is also during the baby's naps or after he has gone to bed. It is impossible to sweep the floors and keep him from getting into everything or running out into the garage at the same time. Hubby does sweep, too, so there is that if I can't get around to it.
My time available for the computer has greatly decreased because of said worries. As I type this, the baby is napping. I grab time for writing, blogging, phone calls, checking E-mail and reading E-books to write reviews for whenever possible. I may not be online as much as before, but I'll still be here. Ultimately, meeting my deadlines come first (for SIGNews, my book contracts and turning in book reviews), but if I have some free time to check in with friends and family, or even send out a tweet, then it'll happen.
Friday, April 02, 2010
On home births
Yesterday, I read a note from an online friend on how she was planning to have a home birth for her first baby. While I support my friend's decision, I felt a little edgy about the whole "home birth decision" thing. Especially since I recently fixed up an essay I wrote for my deaf parenting book, which shared the story of something frightening that happened on the night my son was born.
After Jesse's birth, I spent a long time just staring at him as he slept. You parents out there know this moment: How all you can do is stare at this new miracle that is yours. This wonderful, beautiful baby that has come into the world. How can you possibly take your eyes off of someone so special? That is what it was like for me. A moment to cherish this new life who will be my very own.
Then I noticed something wrong. His sleep was disturbed by him struggling with something in his mouth or lungs. It finally dawned on me that the way he was shaking and the look of struggle on his face indicated he was choking. Alarmed, I struggled to get out of my bed and get to him as I was yelling for a nurse for help. A nurse came into the room and helped him cough up what it was he had been choking on: Water. They ended up pumping A LOT of water out of his stomach that night. I was stunned I had come so close to losing him from choking on water, and grateful I had stayed awake and watched him long enough to see this happen.
Still, I was even more grateful that we were at a hospital when it happened. They had a qualified, trained nurse there to pump the water out of his stomach.
Had I chosen to have my baby at home, without a trained medical nurse available to assist for any emergencies, who knows what could have happened.
I don't read much about home births, and I understand why many women feel it is a better option for them. At the same time, if a woman insists on having a home birth, I think it would be wise to find a way for a nurse or a doctor to be present, just in case anything goes wrong. I don't know how home births go. Hopefully, these parents are indeed making sure a nurse is present for the birth.
As for me, I prefer to give birth to my children at a hospital. With such advanced technology available for medical emergencies and trained doctors and nurses ready and willing to help anyone in need, I feel more comfortable giving birth to a child there. Of course, life laughs while we make plans, and there's always the chance a baby can end up being born inside of a car or, as recently happened last Thanksgiving, right on the floor of a kitchen. Still, it's a good idea for a doctor or nurse to be available in case an emergency happens. You never know what can happen, so it's important to be ready in case something does.
After Jesse's birth, I spent a long time just staring at him as he slept. You parents out there know this moment: How all you can do is stare at this new miracle that is yours. This wonderful, beautiful baby that has come into the world. How can you possibly take your eyes off of someone so special? That is what it was like for me. A moment to cherish this new life who will be my very own.
Then I noticed something wrong. His sleep was disturbed by him struggling with something in his mouth or lungs. It finally dawned on me that the way he was shaking and the look of struggle on his face indicated he was choking. Alarmed, I struggled to get out of my bed and get to him as I was yelling for a nurse for help. A nurse came into the room and helped him cough up what it was he had been choking on: Water. They ended up pumping A LOT of water out of his stomach that night. I was stunned I had come so close to losing him from choking on water, and grateful I had stayed awake and watched him long enough to see this happen.
Still, I was even more grateful that we were at a hospital when it happened. They had a qualified, trained nurse there to pump the water out of his stomach.
Had I chosen to have my baby at home, without a trained medical nurse available to assist for any emergencies, who knows what could have happened.
I don't read much about home births, and I understand why many women feel it is a better option for them. At the same time, if a woman insists on having a home birth, I think it would be wise to find a way for a nurse or a doctor to be present, just in case anything goes wrong. I don't know how home births go. Hopefully, these parents are indeed making sure a nurse is present for the birth.
As for me, I prefer to give birth to my children at a hospital. With such advanced technology available for medical emergencies and trained doctors and nurses ready and willing to help anyone in need, I feel more comfortable giving birth to a child there. Of course, life laughs while we make plans, and there's always the chance a baby can end up being born inside of a car or, as recently happened last Thanksgiving, right on the floor of a kitchen. Still, it's a good idea for a doctor or nurse to be available in case an emergency happens. You never know what can happen, so it's important to be ready in case something does.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Please, please, play with your toys!
Every time I see a guy go nuts over a car or a fancy-antsy gun, I can only roll my eyes, shake my head and mumble, "Men and their toys." I think the appreciation for "toys" comes a lot later in life for the males of the human race. As a toddler, my daughter played with her toys to her heart's content. The same cannot be said of her 2-year-old brother.
My son has lots of toys, particularly toy cars since he is so fond of cars. He also has a toy tool set, stuffed animals, toy bowling game and lots of baby-friendly blocks. Yet it seems that all of these sources of fun and excitement are lost on him whenever he has the chance to play with them.
Actually, he'd rather "play" with things that are NOT toys. Say, the remote control for the TV set. The swarm of cords and cables in the desk drawer. And, unfortunately, the various chemicals and cleaning agents that are kept underneath the kitchen sink.
I can't even begin to count the many times I've had to explain to the baby that these "grown up things" are not toys. I might as well be speaking in a foreign language to him every time I say something like "we don't play with the toothbrush" or "the drill is NOT a toy!"
Having access to his toys is not a problem. I actually cornered off an area of the living room for his "play area," where the bulk of his toys are kept ready for him to grab and use. They have been sitting there for days -- neglected, forgotten and unloved. Once in a great while, he might grab his toy saw and start using it on the desk. Or maybe some of the time, he'll take a toy duck he has by the cord and pull it around the room. (This toy is actually a hand-me-down from his older sister.) But for the most part, he prefers to play with other things. Like his dad's pocket watch. The giant paper shredder by the desk. The vacuum cleaner which we usually keep in the hall closet but he somehow always manages to get out of there to play with. And, of course, the trusted telephone we usually keep high on a shelf. (Never mind his toy phone. It's not as cool as the real thing!)
It has gotten to the point where, when a birthday or Christmas comes up, I'll tell family member PLEASE do not send the baby anymore toys. He has enough toys that are, alas, most often ignored. I doubt holding off on buying him more toys will get him to appreciate the toys he does have because first he has to notice that they even exist. So while I'm trying to cut down on the army of toys both kids have, I am still trying to encourage my toddler to take notice of these fun things he has to enjoy and learn from before he is too old for them. Maybe that's my attempt to tell myself money was not wasted on toys a child didn't even want. Or maybe that is just me hoping he will distract himself with his real toys long enough for me to grab his favorite non-toys and hide them under lock and key.
I could use the same lecture I have at the ready anytime my kids refuse to eat their food: There are children in this world who can't have as much stuff as you do. And it's true. I know there are children who don't have as many toys as each of my children do, just as there are children who are not fortunate to have as much clothes as they do or as much food to eat as they do. In this case, however, we're talking about a child who is 2 and sees climbing the furniture to be much more funner than stacking blocks. Maybe later on he'll appreciate his "toys." Quite likely when he's a teenager with a cell phone and VERY likely when he's a grown man with his own car to drive. For now, the toys he has remain items of occasional diversion, nothing more.
My son has lots of toys, particularly toy cars since he is so fond of cars. He also has a toy tool set, stuffed animals, toy bowling game and lots of baby-friendly blocks. Yet it seems that all of these sources of fun and excitement are lost on him whenever he has the chance to play with them.
Actually, he'd rather "play" with things that are NOT toys. Say, the remote control for the TV set. The swarm of cords and cables in the desk drawer. And, unfortunately, the various chemicals and cleaning agents that are kept underneath the kitchen sink.
I can't even begin to count the many times I've had to explain to the baby that these "grown up things" are not toys. I might as well be speaking in a foreign language to him every time I say something like "we don't play with the toothbrush" or "the drill is NOT a toy!"
Having access to his toys is not a problem. I actually cornered off an area of the living room for his "play area," where the bulk of his toys are kept ready for him to grab and use. They have been sitting there for days -- neglected, forgotten and unloved. Once in a great while, he might grab his toy saw and start using it on the desk. Or maybe some of the time, he'll take a toy duck he has by the cord and pull it around the room. (This toy is actually a hand-me-down from his older sister.) But for the most part, he prefers to play with other things. Like his dad's pocket watch. The giant paper shredder by the desk. The vacuum cleaner which we usually keep in the hall closet but he somehow always manages to get out of there to play with. And, of course, the trusted telephone we usually keep high on a shelf. (Never mind his toy phone. It's not as cool as the real thing!)
It has gotten to the point where, when a birthday or Christmas comes up, I'll tell family member PLEASE do not send the baby anymore toys. He has enough toys that are, alas, most often ignored. I doubt holding off on buying him more toys will get him to appreciate the toys he does have because first he has to notice that they even exist. So while I'm trying to cut down on the army of toys both kids have, I am still trying to encourage my toddler to take notice of these fun things he has to enjoy and learn from before he is too old for them. Maybe that's my attempt to tell myself money was not wasted on toys a child didn't even want. Or maybe that is just me hoping he will distract himself with his real toys long enough for me to grab his favorite non-toys and hide them under lock and key.
I could use the same lecture I have at the ready anytime my kids refuse to eat their food: There are children in this world who can't have as much stuff as you do. And it's true. I know there are children who don't have as many toys as each of my children do, just as there are children who are not fortunate to have as much clothes as they do or as much food to eat as they do. In this case, however, we're talking about a child who is 2 and sees climbing the furniture to be much more funner than stacking blocks. Maybe later on he'll appreciate his "toys." Quite likely when he's a teenager with a cell phone and VERY likely when he's a grown man with his own car to drive. For now, the toys he has remain items of occasional diversion, nothing more.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Sleeping through the night
This blog post isn't about my baby sleeping through the night. He's 2 now, so that finally happened some months ago. This is about ME sleeping through the night.
Yep, you got that right. Me, his mother.
After Jesse started to figure out how to climb up on things, especially how to climb over things like the baby gate, that's when we his parents were put on full alert. No longer could we relax knowing a baby gate kept him from getting into the kitchen, because now he was climbing over that gate and getting into the kitchen!
But that's not the worst part.
The worst part is that he eventually figured out how to climb up on the desk chair by the front door...and unlatch the safety lock we have at the top of the door. This was there to prevent him from unlocking the front door (as he learned how to do) and running outside, quite possibly into the busy street that we live on.
As one might imagine, this caused some anxiety for me. It wasn't enough that I watched him like a hawk, even took him into the bathroom with me when I had to use the bathroom to avoid something terrible from happening to him. On a very deep level, I was terrified.
Terrified because what if he managed to get out through the door while we're sleeping?
In December, I was heartbroken and in tears after reading a news article of a 2-year-old boy dying from exposure in the freezing cold and snow after slipping out of his Minnesota grandparents' house on Christmas Eve, while everybody was sleeping. As saddened as I was by this news, I was also just as scared for Jesse, that he might end up having the same fate.
Meanwhile, I wasn't sleeping. Every night, I'd wake up every 2 or 3 hours abnd go check on the baby, just to make sure he was still asleep in his crib and okay. Apparently, I was so stressed out over this, I couldn't sleep through the whole night. On a subconscious level, I was worried about the baby wandering about the house and getting out through the front door.
I kept telling my husband that we had to do something about this. We went through a series of ideas to prevent Jesse from slipping through the front door while we slept (and I even considered sleeping on a hideaway bed in front of the front door!) and I wrote about all of that in my book on deaf parenting. We eventually found a solution, which my editor actually suggested (thank you, Liz!): A double-sided deadbolt lock. Sounded like a good idea and the next thing was to keep reminding hubby to pick one up.
Well, first my husband tried using a safety pin on the security lock that the baby figured out how to unlatch. But I guess he got tired of me waking him up so early in the morning to take the pin out, since I couldn't and I had to get the children out the door. He eventually got the deadbolt lock. When they were installed, on both front and back doors, and he showed me how to use it, I had to laugh at first. I suddenly saw myself as that mother in the movie, The Others, locking and unlocking a door she needed to go through as she went through the house.
But after I saw just how it worked in keeping the baby from unlocking the doors himself, I wasn't laughing anymore. It was like the clouds clearing from the sky and a chorus of angels singing, "Hallelujah!"
They worked. The deadbolt locks did the trick. No more worries of the baby getting out the doors while we slept or when no one noticed, because now those doors had locks on them he could NOT unlock! HOORAY!!
And for the first time in a long time, I finally got a good night's sleep. I hope there will be many more...if this insomnia I am just recently dealing with ever goes away. I guess sleep and I just don't mix.
But at least the baby won't be able to slip out the front door while we sleep anymore. wow, that felt so great to say. I want to say it again! The baby will NOT be able to slip out the front door while we are sleeping anymore.
As long as we keep that door locked. Always locked.
Yep, you got that right. Me, his mother.
After Jesse started to figure out how to climb up on things, especially how to climb over things like the baby gate, that's when we his parents were put on full alert. No longer could we relax knowing a baby gate kept him from getting into the kitchen, because now he was climbing over that gate and getting into the kitchen!
But that's not the worst part.
The worst part is that he eventually figured out how to climb up on the desk chair by the front door...and unlatch the safety lock we have at the top of the door. This was there to prevent him from unlocking the front door (as he learned how to do) and running outside, quite possibly into the busy street that we live on.
As one might imagine, this caused some anxiety for me. It wasn't enough that I watched him like a hawk, even took him into the bathroom with me when I had to use the bathroom to avoid something terrible from happening to him. On a very deep level, I was terrified.
Terrified because what if he managed to get out through the door while we're sleeping?
In December, I was heartbroken and in tears after reading a news article of a 2-year-old boy dying from exposure in the freezing cold and snow after slipping out of his Minnesota grandparents' house on Christmas Eve, while everybody was sleeping. As saddened as I was by this news, I was also just as scared for Jesse, that he might end up having the same fate.
Meanwhile, I wasn't sleeping. Every night, I'd wake up every 2 or 3 hours abnd go check on the baby, just to make sure he was still asleep in his crib and okay. Apparently, I was so stressed out over this, I couldn't sleep through the whole night. On a subconscious level, I was worried about the baby wandering about the house and getting out through the front door.
I kept telling my husband that we had to do something about this. We went through a series of ideas to prevent Jesse from slipping through the front door while we slept (and I even considered sleeping on a hideaway bed in front of the front door!) and I wrote about all of that in my book on deaf parenting. We eventually found a solution, which my editor actually suggested (thank you, Liz!): A double-sided deadbolt lock. Sounded like a good idea and the next thing was to keep reminding hubby to pick one up.
Well, first my husband tried using a safety pin on the security lock that the baby figured out how to unlatch. But I guess he got tired of me waking him up so early in the morning to take the pin out, since I couldn't and I had to get the children out the door. He eventually got the deadbolt lock. When they were installed, on both front and back doors, and he showed me how to use it, I had to laugh at first. I suddenly saw myself as that mother in the movie, The Others, locking and unlocking a door she needed to go through as she went through the house.
But after I saw just how it worked in keeping the baby from unlocking the doors himself, I wasn't laughing anymore. It was like the clouds clearing from the sky and a chorus of angels singing, "Hallelujah!"
They worked. The deadbolt locks did the trick. No more worries of the baby getting out the doors while we slept or when no one noticed, because now those doors had locks on them he could NOT unlock! HOORAY!!
And for the first time in a long time, I finally got a good night's sleep. I hope there will be many more...if this insomnia I am just recently dealing with ever goes away. I guess sleep and I just don't mix.
But at least the baby won't be able to slip out the front door while we sleep anymore. wow, that felt so great to say. I want to say it again! The baby will NOT be able to slip out the front door while we are sleeping anymore.
As long as we keep that door locked. Always locked.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Special moments
There are times when something special will happen in life and we just have to stop and think, Wow. Is this for real? Am I dreaming?
Every time I look at the baby, a part of me asks those questions. It's been over two years since I've given birth to Jesse, and even still, sometimes when I look at him, I can't help but think....Wow. Thank you, God, for blessing me with him.
Now, being 2, Jesse DOES have his moments. He'll throw tantrums. Make horrible diaper messes. Sometimes he won't sleep. Sometimes he'll spit out his milk or throw his food. And sometimes he'll throw things.
But through ALL of those downsides, I wouldn't trade the privilege of having him in our lives for anything. He still means the world to all of us. He's still special.
And there are special moments we'll get to have with him, too. Those little moments when he'll do something only a baby would do.
Like today, for example. I was sitting at the table, reading the newspaper, when Jesse walked over to sit in the chair next to me. When I looked at him, he shrugged his shoulders. When I did the same thing, he threw his little head back with a big laugh. Then he shrugged again, I shrugged again, and more laughter came out of his mouth. He thought the whole act of shrugging shoulders was just hilarious.
And then there was the time I was pushing him in the baby swing at the park. He LOVED it. It was like it was just me and him, no troubles in the world, as I pushed him in the swing and he sat there so peacefully and so content.
And sometimes he'll climb into my lap and give me a kiss or a hug and, if I'm lucky, he'll lie against my chest, put his little head on my shoulder, and I could just hold him in my arms or rock him in a chair.
There are some things he will do that I could just spend hours watching. In the bathtub, he has these little cups and he'll take turns switching the water from cup to cup, just contentedly busying himself pouring the water back and forth. Sometimes he'll sit on the floor and play with his toy cars (he LOVES cars!). Or he'll hold a small mirror in his tiny hands and just stare at his reflection, moving the mirror really close as he examines that face he sees in it then really far away to get a full view.
I am beginning to think he understands his parents are deaf. Today, for example, he went to where his father sat at the desk, patted his arm to get his attention, then "signed" to him. At least, he TRIED to sign! It was cute to watch him. He has been doing that a lot, trying to sign to us. We have not used home signs with him, just regular ASL. But he uses signs that are not real signs, not even for home signs. He'll also flash the room light or stomp his foot to get our attention.
There is just so much about Jesse that I cherish, despite the fatigue and trying times. I am just so very, very grateful he is in our lives. He's an adorable baby (in MY opinion) and so smart and so sweet. Sometimes I think I'm going to wake up from this wonderful dream, and he won't be there. My heart sinks at that very thought. So many times Jennifer tells me how much she loves her brother (she even has a shirt that says "I love Baby J"!) and I'm glad she's extremely protective of him, even with us. She is a good big sister and he's lucky to have such a wonderful and protective sister.
Well, we are lucky to have him, too.
I cherish him every single day, and I cherish those special moments that he and I get to share even more.
Every time I look at the baby, a part of me asks those questions. It's been over two years since I've given birth to Jesse, and even still, sometimes when I look at him, I can't help but think....Wow. Thank you, God, for blessing me with him.
Now, being 2, Jesse DOES have his moments. He'll throw tantrums. Make horrible diaper messes. Sometimes he won't sleep. Sometimes he'll spit out his milk or throw his food. And sometimes he'll throw things.
But through ALL of those downsides, I wouldn't trade the privilege of having him in our lives for anything. He still means the world to all of us. He's still special.
And there are special moments we'll get to have with him, too. Those little moments when he'll do something only a baby would do.
Like today, for example. I was sitting at the table, reading the newspaper, when Jesse walked over to sit in the chair next to me. When I looked at him, he shrugged his shoulders. When I did the same thing, he threw his little head back with a big laugh. Then he shrugged again, I shrugged again, and more laughter came out of his mouth. He thought the whole act of shrugging shoulders was just hilarious.
And then there was the time I was pushing him in the baby swing at the park. He LOVED it. It was like it was just me and him, no troubles in the world, as I pushed him in the swing and he sat there so peacefully and so content.
And sometimes he'll climb into my lap and give me a kiss or a hug and, if I'm lucky, he'll lie against my chest, put his little head on my shoulder, and I could just hold him in my arms or rock him in a chair.
There are some things he will do that I could just spend hours watching. In the bathtub, he has these little cups and he'll take turns switching the water from cup to cup, just contentedly busying himself pouring the water back and forth. Sometimes he'll sit on the floor and play with his toy cars (he LOVES cars!). Or he'll hold a small mirror in his tiny hands and just stare at his reflection, moving the mirror really close as he examines that face he sees in it then really far away to get a full view.
I am beginning to think he understands his parents are deaf. Today, for example, he went to where his father sat at the desk, patted his arm to get his attention, then "signed" to him. At least, he TRIED to sign! It was cute to watch him. He has been doing that a lot, trying to sign to us. We have not used home signs with him, just regular ASL. But he uses signs that are not real signs, not even for home signs. He'll also flash the room light or stomp his foot to get our attention.
There is just so much about Jesse that I cherish, despite the fatigue and trying times. I am just so very, very grateful he is in our lives. He's an adorable baby (in MY opinion) and so smart and so sweet. Sometimes I think I'm going to wake up from this wonderful dream, and he won't be there. My heart sinks at that very thought. So many times Jennifer tells me how much she loves her brother (she even has a shirt that says "I love Baby J"!) and I'm glad she's extremely protective of him, even with us. She is a good big sister and he's lucky to have such a wonderful and protective sister.
Well, we are lucky to have him, too.
I cherish him every single day, and I cherish those special moments that he and I get to share even more.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Throwing caution at the wind
I keep saying how my parenting experiences with Jesse are so different than what I went through during Jennifer's early years. Today I was reminded of just how different.
Today, I wanted to take Jennifer out to PlayLand while I got pictures printed. Somehow, Jesse figured out we were getting ready to leave. He ran to get his shoes, held them up and happily said, "Bye bye!"
My heart sank as I frowned at him. "No, Jesse. No bye bye."
At this point, Jennifer suggested I take him with us. After all, at the age of 2, he was now old enough to go into PlayLand.
Of course, I perished the thought. I told her there was NO WAY I was leaving him in there. She reminded me of how it was so hard for me to leave him at the nursery at church the first time, and of how he was just fine when I picked him up again. I told her this was different. Don't ask me how, it just was!
All this time, I was comfortable with the decision to wait until he's 3 to take him to PlayLand. I mean, he's not even potty trained yet! But now this decision was being challenged.
Jennifer promised me she would look out for him, that she would take care of him. I just wasn't ready to leave an 8-year-old in charge of my baby. But at the same time, I told her it didn't matter. I didn't feel good about leaving him in the care of a stranger. With Jennifer, as a baby she was left with a parent or relative if I had to go somewhere. I don't have any family here in Eugene and not a friend who I trust enough to leave my children with (not anymore). The people who work at PlayLand are just wonderful but what if they couldn't handle a 2-year-old? He was still so small! And he has temper tantrums; were they ready to deal with that?
I finally told Jennifer, "I'm not ready to throw caution at the wind with you kids."
First she wanted to know what "caution" was. After I explained, she assured me things would be okay.
I finally gave in. "All right, but I'm going to stop by and check in on you two." And that's what I did, too, when he was in there. He was fine, really. He ran and played. I could see him laughing. He looked like he was having so much fun. He even sat at a bench with Jennifer and the caregiver as they all colored together. (I think she got tired of me asking "is he ok? is there any trouble?" She kept telling me he was fine.)
Later, after I got the pictures printed and bought dinner, I collected my children and was soooo relieved to have my baby back with me. Yes, I got through it and, yes, he really WAS fine. But it was so hard to be away from him during those 55 minutes. I wasn't able to tell if I'd be willing to do that again. Um, maybe next year.
Sure I'm willing to throw SOME caution to the wind, when it comes to my children. I do that every day I drop Jennifer off at school (and say a little prayer that she'll be okay and deal with missing her later on in the day). And I do that when I leave the kids with their dad.
I'll let them go sometimes. But just a little bit. And only for a short while.
Today, I wanted to take Jennifer out to PlayLand while I got pictures printed. Somehow, Jesse figured out we were getting ready to leave. He ran to get his shoes, held them up and happily said, "Bye bye!"
My heart sank as I frowned at him. "No, Jesse. No bye bye."
At this point, Jennifer suggested I take him with us. After all, at the age of 2, he was now old enough to go into PlayLand.
Of course, I perished the thought. I told her there was NO WAY I was leaving him in there. She reminded me of how it was so hard for me to leave him at the nursery at church the first time, and of how he was just fine when I picked him up again. I told her this was different. Don't ask me how, it just was!
All this time, I was comfortable with the decision to wait until he's 3 to take him to PlayLand. I mean, he's not even potty trained yet! But now this decision was being challenged.
Jennifer promised me she would look out for him, that she would take care of him. I just wasn't ready to leave an 8-year-old in charge of my baby. But at the same time, I told her it didn't matter. I didn't feel good about leaving him in the care of a stranger. With Jennifer, as a baby she was left with a parent or relative if I had to go somewhere. I don't have any family here in Eugene and not a friend who I trust enough to leave my children with (not anymore). The people who work at PlayLand are just wonderful but what if they couldn't handle a 2-year-old? He was still so small! And he has temper tantrums; were they ready to deal with that?
I finally told Jennifer, "I'm not ready to throw caution at the wind with you kids."
First she wanted to know what "caution" was. After I explained, she assured me things would be okay.
I finally gave in. "All right, but I'm going to stop by and check in on you two." And that's what I did, too, when he was in there. He was fine, really. He ran and played. I could see him laughing. He looked like he was having so much fun. He even sat at a bench with Jennifer and the caregiver as they all colored together. (I think she got tired of me asking "is he ok? is there any trouble?" She kept telling me he was fine.)
Later, after I got the pictures printed and bought dinner, I collected my children and was soooo relieved to have my baby back with me. Yes, I got through it and, yes, he really WAS fine. But it was so hard to be away from him during those 55 minutes. I wasn't able to tell if I'd be willing to do that again. Um, maybe next year.
Sure I'm willing to throw SOME caution to the wind, when it comes to my children. I do that every day I drop Jennifer off at school (and say a little prayer that she'll be okay and deal with missing her later on in the day). And I do that when I leave the kids with their dad.
I'll let them go sometimes. But just a little bit. And only for a short while.
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Making the most important meal of the day most important
This morning, I was 10 minutes late dropping Jennifer off at school. As I was telling her goodbye and reminding her to eat some breakfast when she got to class, she informed me that if the children are done eating breakfast when she got to class, her teacher would not allow her to eat breakfast.
I was alarmed! Her teacher was denying her food? This was so wrong!
I reminded Jennifer to tell her teacher that her mother said she must have breakfast, and I assured her I would straighten this out.
Soon after I got home, I set to work typing out a lengthy e-mail to both her teacher and the school principal. I was fuming over this but I kept the e-mail civil. I apologized for getting Jennifer to school late on some mornings, noting that her tardiness was NOT her fault and that she should not be "punished" for being late by being denied breakfast, and explaining that, in addition to getting Jennifer up and ready to go to school in the mornings, I am also getting my toddler son's diaper changed and getting him ready to go with us. Because my husband works late and doesn't usually get to bed until 4 or 5 a.m., I don't feel secure leaving the baby with him after only 2-3 1/2 hours of sleep while I drop Jennifer off at school. The schedule is crazy; the baby might sleep or he might wake up in time for us all to be ready on time. (I have been thinking of just waking him up when I get Jen up, though I'd hate to disturb his sleep.)
Anyway, I was fuming over this whole thing. I was just...outraged! I couldn't believe they were making her go hungry until lunch time. What in the world!
I was chatting with someone as I typed my e-mail and I told her about this. She commented on certain legal matters concerning food laws at elementary schools and advised me to check out Oregon laws relating to this before I sent the e-mail.
Well, all I can say is, it's a good thing I used e-mail to communicate my concerns about this. If I was speaking to them in person, I might've ended up screaming at them.
After I sent the e-mail, I thought I would feel better, but I didn't. I was just reeling over the whole thing. Even when I homeschooled Jennifer, I made sure she ate breakfast first! AAH!
When the teacher responded to my e-mail, she had something different to say. She noted that the school DOES recognize the importance of children eating breakfast (part of the reason why they offer it free to all of the children, regardless of family income), and that the latecomers to class are allowed, even advised, to walk to the cafeteria to get some breakfast. She did note how there was one time Jennifer did not do this when she had suggested this, and I started to think maybe we had mixed signals here. Maybe Jennifer said she didn't want to go get breakfast, changed her mind later, and was told it was too late.
She also let me know that the children are provided with a snack at around 2 hours after arriving at school, which is also 2 hours and 20 minutes before lunch.
I had to reflect on this. I was relieved to hear that they make it a priority that the children receive adequate nourishment and food during the school day. I remembered one day, when Jennifer was late for kindergarten, she was told she missed breakfast and she wasn't able to eat anything. I suppose maybe they changed that policy since then. And, if so, I'm glad for it. Once again, this school comes out as a winner in taking care of their students!
It didn't bother me that, in the end, this was all a big misunderstanding. I am glad I was able to make my feelings about this kind of thing known to them, and that they understood the whole situation about why I've gotten Jennifer to school late on occasion and how I try very hard to ensure she gets to school on time. (The teacher definitely understood this, because she, too, has a small child. Only a parent can relate to these things!)
Nevertheless, the quest continues to figure out the best way to have both kids ready to go out the door on time so that I can get Jennifer to school on time. I am glad and extremely grateful that the school makes sure that even the late kids receive breakfast, but I will still try to make sure she gets to school on time so there are no disruptions.
I was alarmed! Her teacher was denying her food? This was so wrong!
I reminded Jennifer to tell her teacher that her mother said she must have breakfast, and I assured her I would straighten this out.
Soon after I got home, I set to work typing out a lengthy e-mail to both her teacher and the school principal. I was fuming over this but I kept the e-mail civil. I apologized for getting Jennifer to school late on some mornings, noting that her tardiness was NOT her fault and that she should not be "punished" for being late by being denied breakfast, and explaining that, in addition to getting Jennifer up and ready to go to school in the mornings, I am also getting my toddler son's diaper changed and getting him ready to go with us. Because my husband works late and doesn't usually get to bed until 4 or 5 a.m., I don't feel secure leaving the baby with him after only 2-3 1/2 hours of sleep while I drop Jennifer off at school. The schedule is crazy; the baby might sleep or he might wake up in time for us all to be ready on time. (I have been thinking of just waking him up when I get Jen up, though I'd hate to disturb his sleep.)
Anyway, I was fuming over this whole thing. I was just...outraged! I couldn't believe they were making her go hungry until lunch time. What in the world!
I was chatting with someone as I typed my e-mail and I told her about this. She commented on certain legal matters concerning food laws at elementary schools and advised me to check out Oregon laws relating to this before I sent the e-mail.
Well, all I can say is, it's a good thing I used e-mail to communicate my concerns about this. If I was speaking to them in person, I might've ended up screaming at them.
After I sent the e-mail, I thought I would feel better, but I didn't. I was just reeling over the whole thing. Even when I homeschooled Jennifer, I made sure she ate breakfast first! AAH!
When the teacher responded to my e-mail, she had something different to say. She noted that the school DOES recognize the importance of children eating breakfast (part of the reason why they offer it free to all of the children, regardless of family income), and that the latecomers to class are allowed, even advised, to walk to the cafeteria to get some breakfast. She did note how there was one time Jennifer did not do this when she had suggested this, and I started to think maybe we had mixed signals here. Maybe Jennifer said she didn't want to go get breakfast, changed her mind later, and was told it was too late.
She also let me know that the children are provided with a snack at around 2 hours after arriving at school, which is also 2 hours and 20 minutes before lunch.
I had to reflect on this. I was relieved to hear that they make it a priority that the children receive adequate nourishment and food during the school day. I remembered one day, when Jennifer was late for kindergarten, she was told she missed breakfast and she wasn't able to eat anything. I suppose maybe they changed that policy since then. And, if so, I'm glad for it. Once again, this school comes out as a winner in taking care of their students!
It didn't bother me that, in the end, this was all a big misunderstanding. I am glad I was able to make my feelings about this kind of thing known to them, and that they understood the whole situation about why I've gotten Jennifer to school late on occasion and how I try very hard to ensure she gets to school on time. (The teacher definitely understood this, because she, too, has a small child. Only a parent can relate to these things!)
Nevertheless, the quest continues to figure out the best way to have both kids ready to go out the door on time so that I can get Jennifer to school on time. I am glad and extremely grateful that the school makes sure that even the late kids receive breakfast, but I will still try to make sure she gets to school on time so there are no disruptions.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Almost Christmas
Things have been pretty crazy lately. Between me working on finishing one book while preparing for another scheduled for publication next month, coping with having a sick baby and taking care of all the holiday madness associated with this time of year, it's hard to find time for much else. Least of all among them being sleep.
I am just glad that I am finally over being sick. For a while there, hubby, Jennifer and I were all sick with a cold, which we caught from the baby.
The baby, unfortunately, has not gotten over being sick. He went from having a cold to coming down with an ear infection. His cold lasted a long time. In fact, he's been sick since Thanksgiving. I took him to the doctor for the third time yesterday (despite everybody saying I'm overreacting) and the nurse was concerned because he's lost a little weight. (He hasn't been eating as much since becoming sick.) The worst of it is his fevers. His temp has gone as high as 104 twice in one day. Last night, he woke up at 1 a.m. and his skin was boiling hot to the touch. Hubby spent some time sitting outside with him, trying to cool him off. I've also given him cool baths to bring down his temperature. Jennifer has been distressed over her baby brother being sick for so long. Last night, she broke down crying because she thought he was going to die. I assured her it was not that terrible. He just needed extra time to get better.
Because of the baby being so sick for so long, our travel plans for Christmas are on hold. We might not go to California as planned. I, for one, certainly don't want us to travel if the baby is still sick. (I have to take him back to the doctor if he's not better by Monday.) I love my family, but I have to put my children first. Family members are welcome to come out here to Oregon and visit with us, if they want to be with us for Christmas. But us traveling with a sick baby? No, I forbid it.
We have not really gotten the house ready for Christmas. In fact, we don't have a tree yet. As mentioned, we have all been sick lately, so we're getting a VERY late start in Christmas-izing the house. And, anyway, I didn't think we should decorate if we were going to go to California. Now that we probably won't, we might as well get some Christmas stuff out. That means getting a tree up this weekend. Yay!
I have managed to do just about all of my Christmas shopping so far. Millie and Allison were here for Thanksgiving, and we went Christmas shopping on Black Friday. I had also taken advantage of free shipping from Amazon.com and bought gifts through there, too. But there was one gift I bought that I was not sure of giving to a particular someone: My brother-in-law, Donnie. I bought him a gift since hubby HARDLY buys his family gifts (what's up with that, anyway??), but not sure if he'd like it. I finally decided he'll probably think it's a stupid gift and figured that Jennifer could give it to her teacher instead.
Turns out, we needed TWO teacher gifts!
The helper teacher was teaching the class for the early part of the semester because Jennifer's regular teacher was out on maternity leave. I didn't expect her to come back until after winter break, but I found out last night, AFTER Jen was asleep, that she'll be back today! And we didn't have a gift for her! Yikes!
I started scouring the house, looking for extra gifts or...something "giftworthy" that hadn't been opened yet. Why, oh why, did I open that package of peanut brittle yesterday?? Oh, I know. It's because I was craving some peanut brittle! But that made me think that maybe candy is not a good gift idea. What if she was a diabetic? On a special diet? She just had a baby -- maybe she was trying to watch her weight. So, no. Candy was NOT a good gift idea.
Hm...candles? The only unopened candles I had was a bag of tealight candles. I thought that was dumb. Sure, we could always use them, but I thought it was silly to hand someone a gift and say, "Merry Christmas! Here's a bag of a bazillion tealight candles!"
Then a thought struck me. I DID have something giftworthy to give away: A copy of one of my books. Why not? It's not like I'm grabbing something from my own personal library of books (though I'll admit I DID scan my own collection of books to find something, but wasn't sure what she liked to read).
I started to think. Which one? Which one? Poetry? Writing? My novel?? Hmmm. What if she doesn't like poetry? What if the novel was a genre she didn't enjoy reading? What if she didn't write?? (Well, maybe she DOES write. Or will write someday.)
As I started to decide on which of my books to give to her, I started to question if I was being vain in giving away a book I have written. Was this a shameless method of self-promotion? Was I being so prideful that I'd expect someone to really want a book I have written?
Sure, people like receiving autographed copies of books (and I did sign it for her), but I had to wonder how the whole thing would look. Was this a bad idea?
Well, it was my ONLY idea for an emergency gift. Hey, being an author is the gift that keeps on giving!
I also wondered if Jennifer would be upset at my choice. This was HER teacher and HER moment of giving her teacher a Christmas gift. Me stepping into that with MY book might hurt her feelings.
That's what I thought until I told her about my selection this morning. And, actually, she got excited that her mom was giving her teacher a signed copy of her book. She even gave me a high-five. (She's often proudly informed people at her school that I write books and I have even done readings there. In fact, there's talk of another reading to do when my next poetry book comes out!) I was relieved she was okay with this choice. "I only hope she likes poetry," I said. Jennifer nodded her head and said, "Me, too."
Now if only I can get those Christmas cards mailed. And help the baby get better in time for Christmas. Or almost better.
I am just glad that I am finally over being sick. For a while there, hubby, Jennifer and I were all sick with a cold, which we caught from the baby.
The baby, unfortunately, has not gotten over being sick. He went from having a cold to coming down with an ear infection. His cold lasted a long time. In fact, he's been sick since Thanksgiving. I took him to the doctor for the third time yesterday (despite everybody saying I'm overreacting) and the nurse was concerned because he's lost a little weight. (He hasn't been eating as much since becoming sick.) The worst of it is his fevers. His temp has gone as high as 104 twice in one day. Last night, he woke up at 1 a.m. and his skin was boiling hot to the touch. Hubby spent some time sitting outside with him, trying to cool him off. I've also given him cool baths to bring down his temperature. Jennifer has been distressed over her baby brother being sick for so long. Last night, she broke down crying because she thought he was going to die. I assured her it was not that terrible. He just needed extra time to get better.
Because of the baby being so sick for so long, our travel plans for Christmas are on hold. We might not go to California as planned. I, for one, certainly don't want us to travel if the baby is still sick. (I have to take him back to the doctor if he's not better by Monday.) I love my family, but I have to put my children first. Family members are welcome to come out here to Oregon and visit with us, if they want to be with us for Christmas. But us traveling with a sick baby? No, I forbid it.
We have not really gotten the house ready for Christmas. In fact, we don't have a tree yet. As mentioned, we have all been sick lately, so we're getting a VERY late start in Christmas-izing the house. And, anyway, I didn't think we should decorate if we were going to go to California. Now that we probably won't, we might as well get some Christmas stuff out. That means getting a tree up this weekend. Yay!
I have managed to do just about all of my Christmas shopping so far. Millie and Allison were here for Thanksgiving, and we went Christmas shopping on Black Friday. I had also taken advantage of free shipping from Amazon.com and bought gifts through there, too. But there was one gift I bought that I was not sure of giving to a particular someone: My brother-in-law, Donnie. I bought him a gift since hubby HARDLY buys his family gifts (what's up with that, anyway??), but not sure if he'd like it. I finally decided he'll probably think it's a stupid gift and figured that Jennifer could give it to her teacher instead.
Turns out, we needed TWO teacher gifts!
The helper teacher was teaching the class for the early part of the semester because Jennifer's regular teacher was out on maternity leave. I didn't expect her to come back until after winter break, but I found out last night, AFTER Jen was asleep, that she'll be back today! And we didn't have a gift for her! Yikes!
I started scouring the house, looking for extra gifts or...something "giftworthy" that hadn't been opened yet. Why, oh why, did I open that package of peanut brittle yesterday?? Oh, I know. It's because I was craving some peanut brittle! But that made me think that maybe candy is not a good gift idea. What if she was a diabetic? On a special diet? She just had a baby -- maybe she was trying to watch her weight. So, no. Candy was NOT a good gift idea.
Hm...candles? The only unopened candles I had was a bag of tealight candles. I thought that was dumb. Sure, we could always use them, but I thought it was silly to hand someone a gift and say, "Merry Christmas! Here's a bag of a bazillion tealight candles!"
Then a thought struck me. I DID have something giftworthy to give away: A copy of one of my books. Why not? It's not like I'm grabbing something from my own personal library of books (though I'll admit I DID scan my own collection of books to find something, but wasn't sure what she liked to read).
I started to think. Which one? Which one? Poetry? Writing? My novel?? Hmmm. What if she doesn't like poetry? What if the novel was a genre she didn't enjoy reading? What if she didn't write?? (Well, maybe she DOES write. Or will write someday.)
As I started to decide on which of my books to give to her, I started to question if I was being vain in giving away a book I have written. Was this a shameless method of self-promotion? Was I being so prideful that I'd expect someone to really want a book I have written?
Sure, people like receiving autographed copies of books (and I did sign it for her), but I had to wonder how the whole thing would look. Was this a bad idea?
Well, it was my ONLY idea for an emergency gift. Hey, being an author is the gift that keeps on giving!
I also wondered if Jennifer would be upset at my choice. This was HER teacher and HER moment of giving her teacher a Christmas gift. Me stepping into that with MY book might hurt her feelings.
That's what I thought until I told her about my selection this morning. And, actually, she got excited that her mom was giving her teacher a signed copy of her book. She even gave me a high-five. (She's often proudly informed people at her school that I write books and I have even done readings there. In fact, there's talk of another reading to do when my next poetry book comes out!) I was relieved she was okay with this choice. "I only hope she likes poetry," I said. Jennifer nodded her head and said, "Me, too."
Now if only I can get those Christmas cards mailed. And help the baby get better in time for Christmas. Or almost better.
Friday, December 04, 2009
Two signs in one day
Something very interesting happened today. I ended up getting two answers to two things I've been thinking about! Very cool!
The first thing I was thinking about was a little talk I had with hubby yesterday. I'd related to him that I'm unhappy about a few things and he wanted to know what those few things were. One of the things that's been bothering me is how I'm not as successful with freelance writing as I would like to be. I wish I could break into those glossies, but after over a decade of working as a writer, it just hasn't happened. And I'm beginning to wonder if it will ever happen at all. (I've gotten a few rejections from the glossies, as well as zero responses from others.) And I'm tired of working for peanuts, which is what I label what I'm paid for one particular writing gig I have. It's just unfair. I put so much into it and get so little in return.
That got hubby started on how he, too, was frustrated with my ongoing attempts to get...SOMEWHERE with the freelance writing, and not making as much progress (read: money) at all. One of the things he said was, "I don't know why you write."
I'll admit, I started getting a little defensive at that point. I wanted to stress to him I was talking bout my failures as a freelance writer, not as a writer. With the books, I have no complaint. The books are where my heart is with the writing. And I do THAT because I want to.
Later, I was stewing over that little comment of his. I was angrily stomping around the house, wanting to scream, "What do you want me to do all day? Watch TV??" But, I kept my anger under control. He's not a writer, I told myself. He doesn't get it what it means to be a writer. He doesn't understand that drive to write, that NEED to write, the neverending impulse to create something with words.
Honestly, I tried to evaluate what I would be like if I was not a writer. If I didn't write the words and ideas which burned in my soul. But I really could not picture my life without any writing. I write because...it's what I want to do. And maybe I was beginning to lose sight of that. I don't know, maybe I was losing sight of WHY I write: I'm a dreamer who dreams. I'm a storyteller. An entertainer. A creator of worlds, weaver of words. It's just who I am.
But I still wondered...could I ever give up writing? Would I ever give up that part of me and be the wife that hubby wants instead? The kind of wife with no hobbies, interests or dreams?
It was pretty hard to fathom.
At one point in my day, as I was cleaning the living room, I came across something on the floor. A tiny black thing. I knelt down to turn it over and it had the word "dream" on it. It was a magnet from the poetry magnet set I have in my closet.
Yes. In my CLOSET! I have those magnets in a box in my closet! Save a few, that I have on one of Jen's pictures. But how in the world did THAT end up there?? Jen hadn't gotten into that box and neither had the baby. And I didn't have it on any of my pictures, even in that room.
So, outside of the VERY slim possibility that one of the kids dropped it, I took this as a sign. It was a message to me. A message to always dream. Dare to dream! Never stop dreaming!
I smiled, comforted by this message. It was like receiving permission to continue with my writing. To dream up new stories and write about them. I won't let what others say stop me, or even my inability to be a "famous" writer or the kind of writer who earns a $1,000 check for an article stop me from dreaming my dreams. I have and always will be a dreamer. And I will continue to dream, with words.
Now....as to the second sign I received today. This one is not so glamorous. But still interesting.
I recently bought Jesse a Star Trek onesie as a Christmas gift. At first, I thought I'd buy 2, because I couldn't decide on the color: Red for Engineering (Mr. Scott) or Blue for Science (Mr. Spock). I eventually decided to buy him the Engineering onesie. It just seemed to fit him best. Later, though, I thought, should I have bought an extra? In case one is ruined? After all, a baby that makes messes will be wearing it! And it is a one-of-a-kind onesie.
So I decided, yes! I'll get him another one! Just in case.
But which color? The gold one, for Command? Or blue? Or another red? Hm, decisions, decisions.
I got my answer, though, when I gave up thinking about this and instead focused my attention on the baby. I smiled at him and signed, "I love you."
Believe it or not, he signed back the Vulcan sign! I kid you not! I had to look good and hard at that little hand making that sign, because I couldn't believe my eyes!! WOW!
He has tried to imitate the "I love you" sign for some time. He hasn't been very successful, though he has gotten close. I think it's so neat he made the Vulcan sign, but also that it's a sign for something else. A sign to definitely get him the blue Star Trek onesie.
I laughed as I nodded back at him and said, "Live long and prosper."
The first thing I was thinking about was a little talk I had with hubby yesterday. I'd related to him that I'm unhappy about a few things and he wanted to know what those few things were. One of the things that's been bothering me is how I'm not as successful with freelance writing as I would like to be. I wish I could break into those glossies, but after over a decade of working as a writer, it just hasn't happened. And I'm beginning to wonder if it will ever happen at all. (I've gotten a few rejections from the glossies, as well as zero responses from others.) And I'm tired of working for peanuts, which is what I label what I'm paid for one particular writing gig I have. It's just unfair. I put so much into it and get so little in return.
That got hubby started on how he, too, was frustrated with my ongoing attempts to get...SOMEWHERE with the freelance writing, and not making as much progress (read: money) at all. One of the things he said was, "I don't know why you write."
I'll admit, I started getting a little defensive at that point. I wanted to stress to him I was talking bout my failures as a freelance writer, not as a writer. With the books, I have no complaint. The books are where my heart is with the writing. And I do THAT because I want to.
Later, I was stewing over that little comment of his. I was angrily stomping around the house, wanting to scream, "What do you want me to do all day? Watch TV??" But, I kept my anger under control. He's not a writer, I told myself. He doesn't get it what it means to be a writer. He doesn't understand that drive to write, that NEED to write, the neverending impulse to create something with words.
Honestly, I tried to evaluate what I would be like if I was not a writer. If I didn't write the words and ideas which burned in my soul. But I really could not picture my life without any writing. I write because...it's what I want to do. And maybe I was beginning to lose sight of that. I don't know, maybe I was losing sight of WHY I write: I'm a dreamer who dreams. I'm a storyteller. An entertainer. A creator of worlds, weaver of words. It's just who I am.
But I still wondered...could I ever give up writing? Would I ever give up that part of me and be the wife that hubby wants instead? The kind of wife with no hobbies, interests or dreams?
It was pretty hard to fathom.
At one point in my day, as I was cleaning the living room, I came across something on the floor. A tiny black thing. I knelt down to turn it over and it had the word "dream" on it. It was a magnet from the poetry magnet set I have in my closet.
Yes. In my CLOSET! I have those magnets in a box in my closet! Save a few, that I have on one of Jen's pictures. But how in the world did THAT end up there?? Jen hadn't gotten into that box and neither had the baby. And I didn't have it on any of my pictures, even in that room.
So, outside of the VERY slim possibility that one of the kids dropped it, I took this as a sign. It was a message to me. A message to always dream. Dare to dream! Never stop dreaming!
I smiled, comforted by this message. It was like receiving permission to continue with my writing. To dream up new stories and write about them. I won't let what others say stop me, or even my inability to be a "famous" writer or the kind of writer who earns a $1,000 check for an article stop me from dreaming my dreams. I have and always will be a dreamer. And I will continue to dream, with words.
Now....as to the second sign I received today. This one is not so glamorous. But still interesting.
I recently bought Jesse a Star Trek onesie as a Christmas gift. At first, I thought I'd buy 2, because I couldn't decide on the color: Red for Engineering (Mr. Scott) or Blue for Science (Mr. Spock). I eventually decided to buy him the Engineering onesie. It just seemed to fit him best. Later, though, I thought, should I have bought an extra? In case one is ruined? After all, a baby that makes messes will be wearing it! And it is a one-of-a-kind onesie.
So I decided, yes! I'll get him another one! Just in case.
But which color? The gold one, for Command? Or blue? Or another red? Hm, decisions, decisions.
I got my answer, though, when I gave up thinking about this and instead focused my attention on the baby. I smiled at him and signed, "I love you."
Believe it or not, he signed back the Vulcan sign! I kid you not! I had to look good and hard at that little hand making that sign, because I couldn't believe my eyes!! WOW!
He has tried to imitate the "I love you" sign for some time. He hasn't been very successful, though he has gotten close. I think it's so neat he made the Vulcan sign, but also that it's a sign for something else. A sign to definitely get him the blue Star Trek onesie.
I laughed as I nodded back at him and said, "Live long and prosper."
Friday, September 11, 2009
Stuff going on
Jesse is doing A LOT better now. His eyes are still healing from the surgery and the anesthetic is still making its way out of his system, but he's not stumbling when he tries to walk anymore and not walking into walls. He's been really fussy, though. Probably from irritation in his eyes. I give him Ibuprofen only when it's very bad and he's very uncomfortable. The post-op appointment went okay and he goes back next month for another check-up on his eyes. It will be some time before we see actual progress. I'm just glad the surgery went okay! Thank God for that!
I'm really nervous about applying the topical medicine under his eyes, though. Tonight, I did it for the first time and I don't even know if I did it right! Grr! I've watched hubby apply the medicine and he told me how to do it. I get really nervous trying to do it, though. I don't want to get any of it INSIDE of his eyes!
I have been sooooo busy all week. Writing, running errands, taking care of the kids and cleaning. CLEANING! The other day, when I picked Jen up from school, my hair looked like I just stepped out of a tornado because I went right from speed-vacuuming to going out to pick her up. I saw Jen's old teacher with my hair like that and I guess maybe I gave her something to wonder about. Haha. "Erm, what exactly were you up to??"
One of the cleaning jobs I had was Jennifer's room. It got REALLY bad because she's not very good at putting things away (she's a piler) and because she just doesn't take good care of her things or tidy up when she is done playing, or something. So I took it upon myself to clean the room. I was tired of not being able to walk in there and Jesse kept getting into EVERYTHING. It took me TWO DAYS to clean that room. What a job! I wish I could get her to keep her room tidy so it doesn't get so bad. Anyway, it's a lot better now and everything is put away and organized.
Jen started school this week. Yay! She really likes her class. Thankfully, there aren't any troublesome students in her classroom this year. Thank goodness for that! There is a boy who sits next to her and on the first day, he was messing around with her stuff. I gave him a dirty look and he just went about doing other things. I guess he is not giving her trouble and that's good. Last year, there was a kid in her class who caused trouble a lot. (The same kid who pushed a little boy in the hall) and I have been very concerned about her dealing with bullies. Believe me, I had to deal with them when I went to school! (They were in the public AND private school. Ugh.) Looking the way I do, I was an easy target for bullies. Even when I fought back on one occasion. But with Jennifer, I have always worried about it. I've even had nightmares about it! So I keep an eye out for things like that and I hope she doesn't have that problem this year.
Speaking of nightmares...I had a real bad one last night. It was horrible. Weather disasters were striking the entire state of Oregon. There were hurricanes, floods, mudslides, earthquakes, tornadoes. EVERYTHING! And in all of the state of Oregon! The whole state! It was awful. I saw so many people die in that dream. Being covered by mudslides, sucked into hurricanes. Homes being destroyed. People tried to evacuate but often the weather disasters hit before they could. So many people....all gone. It was just terrible to see all that. I woke up from that dream, went out to the living room and sat on the couch. Hubby was on the computer and he turned around to ask me what was wrong. When I told him my dream, he said, "Hurricane?" I nodded. Then he said, "Wrong side of the country." Yeah, tell me about it! Then I looked at the TV, hoping to get my mind off that dream. And, wouldn't you know it, there was a program on about rogue waves! ARGH!! I covered my eyes, shook my head and mumbled, "WHY did I have a dream like that then come out to see something like THAT on TV?"
Jennifer's BFF had a birthday party this week. At least, we THINK she did. Jen never got an invitation. I'm a little confused and angry about this. I sent the friend's mother an email and asked about it but, so far, no reply. I'm starting to get upset about this, because if the friend DID have a birthday party and decided not to invite Jennifer, then I think that's really uncool. It would make Jennifer REALLY upset and then there'd be problems with the friendship. I don't get it. So I hope it was a misunderstanding. I am going to call tomorrow and find out. If I don't end up hearing from them by email first.
Today hubby and I watched the movie Stardust. I heard so many good things about it. Even though I'm iffy with Neil Gaiman (some of his stuff is good, some of it...meh), I really liked this movie. It's a great fantasy story. The part where Victoria starts to like Tristan after he changes his looks, though, REALLY irritated me. I got all huffy and said, "She likes him NOW only because he looks good!" Hubby rolled his eyes and said, "It's just a movie!" That may be, but that kinda thing DOES happen in the real world. People are SO dependent on looks and beauty. I'm sick of it and I hate it. But I guess being a person with burn scars, of course I'm going to hate it. I often blame my lack of friends on the fact that I am burned. People think I'm too ugly to want to be seen with me in public. Or they are too uncomfortable around someone who is NOT beautiful or who looks unattractive because I am burned. Or maybe they think that because I look like a monster, I really am a monster. I know it's stupid to think that, but I do. Oregonians only love beautiful people!
And the same goes for love....Love is SO dependent on outward beauty. Or so many people in this world say it should be. You HAVE to be beautiful to be loved. If you are ugly, then you are shunned and ignored. One beautiful person will not love an ugly person. They BOTH have to look beautiful. Because outward appearances MATTER. It's just not right.
Which is why I would rather be with someone who would love me for my heart and not for my looks. I can't take these burn scars away. I can't make them disappear, even when wearing make-up. Love me for who I am and for the kind of heart that I have. Not for how I look.
That is my opinion, anyway....
I got A LOT done with the writing this week. Unfortunately, I was not able to do my article for SIGNews, because my source at Gallaudet refused to do an interview and so did anybody else associated with that topic. ARGH! I was really upset and NOT happy about losing the money I would have received for that article. Sigh. Fortunately, my editor was very understanding. I was soooo tempted to complain about it on the writing blog. But....I am a grown up. I can handle this in a mature, professional manner. (Those poopie-heads!)
As for the Ghost book, I am FINALLY allllllll caught up on the emails for it. YAAAAYYY!!!! Now to get caught up on the phone calls I have to make for it. I have two that I keep FORGETTING! But the email thing is good and it was a huge weight off my shoulders to get caught up on them. Hopefully, I'll be able to wrap up gathering all the stories I need VERRRRRY soon.
There are other emails I need to get caught up on, too. Hm. I'm working on it! So please don't think I am ignoring you....
I got an idea for a cartoon today. Imagine it: Writer goes into a printing shop and asks, "How much do you charge to print?"
Saleslady says, "How many pages do you need to print?"
Writer answers, "Oh, about 580 pages."
Saleslady faints.
That right there is how long the Totally Scared book is. Ayuh.
I'm really nervous about applying the topical medicine under his eyes, though. Tonight, I did it for the first time and I don't even know if I did it right! Grr! I've watched hubby apply the medicine and he told me how to do it. I get really nervous trying to do it, though. I don't want to get any of it INSIDE of his eyes!
I have been sooooo busy all week. Writing, running errands, taking care of the kids and cleaning. CLEANING! The other day, when I picked Jen up from school, my hair looked like I just stepped out of a tornado because I went right from speed-vacuuming to going out to pick her up. I saw Jen's old teacher with my hair like that and I guess maybe I gave her something to wonder about. Haha. "Erm, what exactly were you up to??"
One of the cleaning jobs I had was Jennifer's room. It got REALLY bad because she's not very good at putting things away (she's a piler) and because she just doesn't take good care of her things or tidy up when she is done playing, or something. So I took it upon myself to clean the room. I was tired of not being able to walk in there and Jesse kept getting into EVERYTHING. It took me TWO DAYS to clean that room. What a job! I wish I could get her to keep her room tidy so it doesn't get so bad. Anyway, it's a lot better now and everything is put away and organized.
Jen started school this week. Yay! She really likes her class. Thankfully, there aren't any troublesome students in her classroom this year. Thank goodness for that! There is a boy who sits next to her and on the first day, he was messing around with her stuff. I gave him a dirty look and he just went about doing other things. I guess he is not giving her trouble and that's good. Last year, there was a kid in her class who caused trouble a lot. (The same kid who pushed a little boy in the hall) and I have been very concerned about her dealing with bullies. Believe me, I had to deal with them when I went to school! (They were in the public AND private school. Ugh.) Looking the way I do, I was an easy target for bullies. Even when I fought back on one occasion. But with Jennifer, I have always worried about it. I've even had nightmares about it! So I keep an eye out for things like that and I hope she doesn't have that problem this year.
Speaking of nightmares...I had a real bad one last night. It was horrible. Weather disasters were striking the entire state of Oregon. There were hurricanes, floods, mudslides, earthquakes, tornadoes. EVERYTHING! And in all of the state of Oregon! The whole state! It was awful. I saw so many people die in that dream. Being covered by mudslides, sucked into hurricanes. Homes being destroyed. People tried to evacuate but often the weather disasters hit before they could. So many people....all gone. It was just terrible to see all that. I woke up from that dream, went out to the living room and sat on the couch. Hubby was on the computer and he turned around to ask me what was wrong. When I told him my dream, he said, "Hurricane?" I nodded. Then he said, "Wrong side of the country." Yeah, tell me about it! Then I looked at the TV, hoping to get my mind off that dream. And, wouldn't you know it, there was a program on about rogue waves! ARGH!! I covered my eyes, shook my head and mumbled, "WHY did I have a dream like that then come out to see something like THAT on TV?"
Jennifer's BFF had a birthday party this week. At least, we THINK she did. Jen never got an invitation. I'm a little confused and angry about this. I sent the friend's mother an email and asked about it but, so far, no reply. I'm starting to get upset about this, because if the friend DID have a birthday party and decided not to invite Jennifer, then I think that's really uncool. It would make Jennifer REALLY upset and then there'd be problems with the friendship. I don't get it. So I hope it was a misunderstanding. I am going to call tomorrow and find out. If I don't end up hearing from them by email first.
Today hubby and I watched the movie Stardust. I heard so many good things about it. Even though I'm iffy with Neil Gaiman (some of his stuff is good, some of it...meh), I really liked this movie. It's a great fantasy story. The part where Victoria starts to like Tristan after he changes his looks, though, REALLY irritated me. I got all huffy and said, "She likes him NOW only because he looks good!" Hubby rolled his eyes and said, "It's just a movie!" That may be, but that kinda thing DOES happen in the real world. People are SO dependent on looks and beauty. I'm sick of it and I hate it. But I guess being a person with burn scars, of course I'm going to hate it. I often blame my lack of friends on the fact that I am burned. People think I'm too ugly to want to be seen with me in public. Or they are too uncomfortable around someone who is NOT beautiful or who looks unattractive because I am burned. Or maybe they think that because I look like a monster, I really am a monster. I know it's stupid to think that, but I do. Oregonians only love beautiful people!
And the same goes for love....Love is SO dependent on outward beauty. Or so many people in this world say it should be. You HAVE to be beautiful to be loved. If you are ugly, then you are shunned and ignored. One beautiful person will not love an ugly person. They BOTH have to look beautiful. Because outward appearances MATTER. It's just not right.
Which is why I would rather be with someone who would love me for my heart and not for my looks. I can't take these burn scars away. I can't make them disappear, even when wearing make-up. Love me for who I am and for the kind of heart that I have. Not for how I look.
That is my opinion, anyway....
I got A LOT done with the writing this week. Unfortunately, I was not able to do my article for SIGNews, because my source at Gallaudet refused to do an interview and so did anybody else associated with that topic. ARGH! I was really upset and NOT happy about losing the money I would have received for that article. Sigh. Fortunately, my editor was very understanding. I was soooo tempted to complain about it on the writing blog. But....I am a grown up. I can handle this in a mature, professional manner. (Those poopie-heads!)
As for the Ghost book, I am FINALLY allllllll caught up on the emails for it. YAAAAYYY!!!! Now to get caught up on the phone calls I have to make for it. I have two that I keep FORGETTING! But the email thing is good and it was a huge weight off my shoulders to get caught up on them. Hopefully, I'll be able to wrap up gathering all the stories I need VERRRRRY soon.
There are other emails I need to get caught up on, too. Hm. I'm working on it! So please don't think I am ignoring you....
I got an idea for a cartoon today. Imagine it: Writer goes into a printing shop and asks, "How much do you charge to print?"
Saleslady says, "How many pages do you need to print?"
Writer answers, "Oh, about 580 pages."
Saleslady faints.
That right there is how long the Totally Scared book is. Ayuh.
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
Pictures of Jesse
As promised, here are before and after haircut pictures of Jesse. The last ones are the after pictures.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Weekend fun
I had plans for Saturday that we would have some "family time" and just all do stuff together, since all of us RARELY do stuff together. But hubby's friend came over and he wanted to go have coffee with him. It was important to me that we do family stuff and I wondered if we could move it to Sunday. I had to call one of the places on the itinerary first to see if they were opened on Sundays and, finding out that they are, I said, "OK, we'll do the family stuff tomorrow, then."
Before hubby could meet with his friend, though, he had to run some errands. One of those errands was to take Jesse for a haircut. (Later, after seeing the curls gone, I started to cry. I loved those little curls!) While he and Jesse were getting ready to go out, me and Jennifer were getting ready to go out. Jen and I would have our "mother and daughter" day like last weekend. Woot! I told Jen, "The men are going in one direction and the girls are going in another direction." With two boys and two girls in the house, we often say stuff like that. "The boys are asleep and the girls are awake." "The boys are watching TV and the girls are reading books."
I will post "before" and "after" pics soon. It's hard to get Jesse to sit still long enough for a decent pic!
I will also post another pic soon. I ordered a "Knight Fever" tank top. It arrived on Saturday. And, oh my gosh, it is AWESOME!! They only have it in "large" and I was worried it would be too big. (I don't like wearing loose tank tops.) But it fits really well. Not loose at all. It's not all glittery like in the picture. Just a normal cotton tank top. "Knight Fever" has glitter on it, as shown in the picture. I asked to have the name "Jonathan" put on the back, like with my other "Knight Fever" shirt. And now to get one more!!! LOL I want to get the red one. Maybe I should go with Jordan's name this time.
Anyway, our first stop was the library. While there, I saw the book QUERY LETTERS THAT WORKED! Real Queries That Landed $2K+ Writing Assignments by Angela Hoy. (A shout out to Angela!) I also got a book on book publicity, and another one on poetry. Jen left the library carrying a stack of nine books. Sniff, I was so proud.
After the library, we headed over to Sweet Life. Jen got a chocolate cupcake (yay for chocolate!) and I got a canoli. I've never had one before so I wanted to try it and see what all the fuss was about. (It was gross. YUCK!!) Then I took her to PlayLand and, while she was there, I did a little reading and a little shopping. One of the things I got was a BIG notebook for Jennifer, because she draws and writes so much, she keeps running out of paper! So I got her MORE paper and the latest issue of National Geographic for myself. (I'm an armchair traveler. LOL)
After PlayLand, it was time to do the "boring" stuff. We took the car to the car wash then got some groceries, as well as pizza for dinner. At the store, I let Jennifer get a Redbox movie. After dinner, I bathed Jesse and put him to bed. Jen and I both read books while waiting for the baby to fall asleep, then we watched the movie, Hotel for Dogs. I thought it was such a cute movie. Jennifer started to cry when the brother and sister, who were in a foster program, were separated. She kept telling me she would NEVER leave her little brother. She never wanted to be separated from him. She just bawled her heart out over that. I hugged her and assured her that her dad and I made arrangements for her and her brother to ALWAYS be together if something happened to us.
After the movie, she went to bed and I watched an episode of Trading Spouses that I'd DVRed earlier in the week. Then it was MY turn to cry and get upset, when the little boy was so sad over his mother leaving for a week. It made me want to run to the baby's crib, pick him up and hold him really tight! Every time I watch a show like that, I keep thinking I could NEVER leave my babies for a whole week. I'd probably spend all that time thinking about them and missing them!
Sunday morning, I woke up with a huge headache. I wanted to just stay in bed (and lie there mumbling "my head is pounding, pounding, pounding") but I knew I had to get up and get the children fed, dressed. I finally managed to get out of bed and just felt sick. (I blame the canoli!) I took some Tylenol but when my headache went away, I had serious stomach pain. GAH! Darn canoli. I wasn't feeling so great because of that stomach pain and I was worried we'd miss church. When I finally got to take a bath and get dressed, the stomach pain just got worse. After my bath, I said a short prayer that the pain would lessen or go away so that we could go to church. I ended up feeling well enough to go, even though we arrived there really late. But at least we were there! And it was so good to see my "friends from church" there, too.
After church, we went to the bookstore and got some magazines. We also bought Jesse a new cloth book. I can't buy him board books; he tears them up! Eek!
From the bookstore, we went home and just relaxed. Hung out. Watched some TV. Did a few chores (laundry, changing ALL the sheets on the beds -- which is a weekend ritual even if the sheets are not dirty! -- vacuuming and dishes). When we finally ready to go to have our family outing, we went to Roaring Rapids Pizza Parlor to make a reservation for Jennifer to have her birthday party there. (Yay! We'll have so much fun!). Then we went out for ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery.
Overall, it was a fun weekend. Now to relax some more because fun time is coming to an end. Tomorrow is Monday -- time to get up early again and get back to work!
Before hubby could meet with his friend, though, he had to run some errands. One of those errands was to take Jesse for a haircut. (Later, after seeing the curls gone, I started to cry. I loved those little curls!) While he and Jesse were getting ready to go out, me and Jennifer were getting ready to go out. Jen and I would have our "mother and daughter" day like last weekend. Woot! I told Jen, "The men are going in one direction and the girls are going in another direction." With two boys and two girls in the house, we often say stuff like that. "The boys are asleep and the girls are awake." "The boys are watching TV and the girls are reading books."
I will post "before" and "after" pics soon. It's hard to get Jesse to sit still long enough for a decent pic!
I will also post another pic soon. I ordered a "Knight Fever" tank top. It arrived on Saturday. And, oh my gosh, it is AWESOME!! They only have it in "large" and I was worried it would be too big. (I don't like wearing loose tank tops.) But it fits really well. Not loose at all. It's not all glittery like in the picture. Just a normal cotton tank top. "Knight Fever" has glitter on it, as shown in the picture. I asked to have the name "Jonathan" put on the back, like with my other "Knight Fever" shirt. And now to get one more!!! LOL I want to get the red one. Maybe I should go with Jordan's name this time.
Anyway, our first stop was the library. While there, I saw the book QUERY LETTERS THAT WORKED! Real Queries That Landed $2K+ Writing Assignments by Angela Hoy. (A shout out to Angela!) I also got a book on book publicity, and another one on poetry. Jen left the library carrying a stack of nine books. Sniff, I was so proud.
After the library, we headed over to Sweet Life. Jen got a chocolate cupcake (yay for chocolate!) and I got a canoli. I've never had one before so I wanted to try it and see what all the fuss was about. (It was gross. YUCK!!) Then I took her to PlayLand and, while she was there, I did a little reading and a little shopping. One of the things I got was a BIG notebook for Jennifer, because she draws and writes so much, she keeps running out of paper! So I got her MORE paper and the latest issue of National Geographic for myself. (I'm an armchair traveler. LOL)
After PlayLand, it was time to do the "boring" stuff. We took the car to the car wash then got some groceries, as well as pizza for dinner. At the store, I let Jennifer get a Redbox movie. After dinner, I bathed Jesse and put him to bed. Jen and I both read books while waiting for the baby to fall asleep, then we watched the movie, Hotel for Dogs. I thought it was such a cute movie. Jennifer started to cry when the brother and sister, who were in a foster program, were separated. She kept telling me she would NEVER leave her little brother. She never wanted to be separated from him. She just bawled her heart out over that. I hugged her and assured her that her dad and I made arrangements for her and her brother to ALWAYS be together if something happened to us.
After the movie, she went to bed and I watched an episode of Trading Spouses that I'd DVRed earlier in the week. Then it was MY turn to cry and get upset, when the little boy was so sad over his mother leaving for a week. It made me want to run to the baby's crib, pick him up and hold him really tight! Every time I watch a show like that, I keep thinking I could NEVER leave my babies for a whole week. I'd probably spend all that time thinking about them and missing them!
Sunday morning, I woke up with a huge headache. I wanted to just stay in bed (and lie there mumbling "my head is pounding, pounding, pounding") but I knew I had to get up and get the children fed, dressed. I finally managed to get out of bed and just felt sick. (I blame the canoli!) I took some Tylenol but when my headache went away, I had serious stomach pain. GAH! Darn canoli. I wasn't feeling so great because of that stomach pain and I was worried we'd miss church. When I finally got to take a bath and get dressed, the stomach pain just got worse. After my bath, I said a short prayer that the pain would lessen or go away so that we could go to church. I ended up feeling well enough to go, even though we arrived there really late. But at least we were there! And it was so good to see my "friends from church" there, too.
After church, we went to the bookstore and got some magazines. We also bought Jesse a new cloth book. I can't buy him board books; he tears them up! Eek!
From the bookstore, we went home and just relaxed. Hung out. Watched some TV. Did a few chores (laundry, changing ALL the sheets on the beds -- which is a weekend ritual even if the sheets are not dirty! -- vacuuming and dishes). When we finally ready to go to have our family outing, we went to Roaring Rapids Pizza Parlor to make a reservation for Jennifer to have her birthday party there. (Yay! We'll have so much fun!). Then we went out for ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery.
Overall, it was a fun weekend. Now to relax some more because fun time is coming to an end. Tomorrow is Monday -- time to get up early again and get back to work!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Kids!
This morning, Jesse got me up early. I have grown used to getting little sleep because of his erratic sleeping patterns (he woke up three times last night! UGH!) but I was still exhausted when I got up with him. I was stumbling around, changing his diaper and making the coffee and getting him his breakfast. I suppose I have to get used to this; school starts in 3 weeks! I have been trying to get Jennifer back onto a "school schedule" in preparation for this. And me on a new schedule, as well. But it's slow going.
When the kids were having breakfast this morning, I introduced Jesse to Honey Nut Cheerios. He LOVED it and kept signing "more." Haha. It was cute. But he didn't love it as much as Instant Breakfast drink, which Jennifer had with her toast. I decided to go ahead and give him some of that since that's about the same age Jennifer started drinking it with her breakfast (at that time, I'd received my mother-in-law's encouragement to give her that drink and it took some doing to measure it correctly because she threw it up the first time I gave it to her. Ever since, we've used the pouches and I mix it all in a tumbler instead of a regular-sized 8-ounce cup.) He drank all of his then, when it was not offered after he signed "more" (because he already had 2 full cups of milk!), he tried to drink Jennifer's and she kept trying to get her cup from him. No fun trying to stop him from crying and throwing a tantrum over not getting more Instant Breakfast drink. I felt guilty denying him more --since after all, he only had half a cup!-- but I had hubby's complaints over Jesse being fat hanging over me. I believe that a chubby baby is a healthy baby. Jennifer has always been a string bean and Jesse has always been chubby. And he's a boy! Boy babies are usually more chubbier than girls.
But, anyway. That's for a whole 'nother blog post.
My muse was on fire today. I'm trying to get three assignments done before the end of the month and have pretty much avoided writing anything else until then. So I was feeling guilty after I wrote an article this morning. One of the things I have due is a short story and, in my defense, at least the article was about writing short stories! Still, I felt bad. I was cutting back on other things to get these projects done. Bad writer for writing something else! But I remembered how we should take something bad and turn it into something good. So I decided I must be in an article-writing mood today. Maybe I can get my article (which is due) written up. But I didn't have an idea for what to write about. I've been tussling with this all week. What to write. What to write!
Finally, I figured out what to write. Yay! But before I could even put pen to paper, Jesse got stuck when he was trying to climb into the kitchen table chair. His arm and elbow got stuck in the slat. I was trying to get his arm free but no luck. Meanwhile, he was twisted around on the chair and in pain. "Jennifer, go get Daddy! Hurry!" I turned to call to my daughter. After she ran to get her father, I once again tried to get Jesse's arm free but I couldn't do it without hurting him. His dad came and took over. Both Jen and I were agonizing over Jesse crying so bad as his father worked to free his arm. Finally, when his arm was free and it was determined he was okay, we sat with him, holding him and giving him kisses as we tried to soothe him. (I have been on hubby's case about getting padding for the backs of those chairs to cover the slats. This is not the first time Jesse's arm got stuck in between them! He's also gotten his arm or leg stuck in the slats of his crib, despite crib guards. AAH! I hate that sort of design on furniture! I once saw a photo of a baby who suffocated after sliding through the slats of his crib, at the bottom of the railing, and that picture haunts me to this day.)
Later, Jesse took his nap on the couch and I wrote up the article.
One thing Jennifer kept doing today is going to the computer to play her game. (She's hooked on Mario Brothers.) And I had to keep reminding her it was not time to play her game yet. I was like, "First you have to eat breakfast. First you have to get dressed. First you have to wash up. First you have to brush your teeth and hair." She eventually got frustrated with all the interruptions and logged off. Which was a good thing, since she also had to clean her room!
I have Jen signed up for karate now (technically, Jeet Kune Do) and she got all excited about going to class today. We ended up getting there late because of a lot of running around (something Jesse was happy about, since he LOVES going "bye-bye." Every time I pick up my keys, he runs and grabs his shoes!). When I reminded her of her class today, she got all hyper and started doing karate kicks. We'll see if that excitement will last!
Before karate, though, we had to go to the store and the store we went to has a bunch of people there who knew me when I was pregnant with Jesse. It is always so mind-blowing to see them act around Jesse like they have known him FOREVER. Well, I guess technically, they have! But it's still so interesting! They say things like "he's getting so big" and "it's nice to see him again" and I think it's really special to have that sense of familiarity. I know I may not feel like I'm a "part" of Eugene and don't have REAL friends here, but that kind of familiarity people have with my children just really helps to ease the stress and anxieties of being so "alone" here. As it is, one of the mothers at the karate class approached me and said she knew about Jennifer because her son goes to the same school.
I just really had to think, you know, through my children, I am able to meet new people. Have some kind of "familiarity" with where we live. And build up relationships with others simply because of who my children are and what they do. It really is interesting and even reassuring. I am hoping this will mean I'll be able to have a friend to hang out with our send emails back and forth with.
Anyway, I digress.
After karate, we came home and just hung out. Then we decided to go for a walk. It was still daylight and the weather was beautiful. So we walked down to the market and bought some goodies. When we had dinner later and I was in the kitchen getting our plates ready, Jesse let me know he was hungry by making the sign for "eat." I thought that was really cute.
Later, after I gave Jesse a bath, I was sooo tired once again. I was dressing Jesse and forgot to put the lotion on him before I put on his clothes. Just as I was about to dress him, he said "Mama, Mama" and made his own home sign for the lotion (a rubbing motion on his chest). I thought that was neat and told Jennifer. She was surprised and said, "He's the smartest baby in America!" Maybe I'm bragging, but...I think so, too.
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