That Look

The other day, we were watching a movie. In the movie, a man had a lot of children and he was with all of his children and getting them into a truck. When I saw that, I started feeling a little sad. A little wistful. It's the same feeling I had when watching the movie Cheaper By the Dozen.

I looked away, because I didn't want my husband to see it. But, he'd seen it. He asked what was wrong.

"Nothing," I said.

But he told me to tell him.

"I can't tell you!" I said. "I'll scare you."

"Just tell me."

But I didn't. Instead, I only said, "It's just something that I want. Something I've wanted for a long time. But I know I can't have."

In my head, I was saying it. "A large family."

He'd recognized that look, though. He smiled, nodded knowingly and said, "You want to have more kids."

"Yes."

But it's only a want, not a reality.

Not for us, anyway.....