Um, yay?

I have pretty much shared my pregnancy news with everyone within earshot -- and online, too. I've posted the news on my MySpace blog and even posted a bulletin about it. I've told friends in emails and my family heard the news via chat and phone calls. I've told almost all my friends in person and I'm sharing this news in this blog, too.

While a majority of people have been excited and supportive of this news, some people have expressed doubts and uncertainty. Well, I can understand THAT. I mean, I'm having a baby with a guy I divorced! But, still. I don't think this is a "bad thing" or some kind of a mistake.

I'm HAPPY about this pregnancy!! I'm so excited about it and I consider this baby a blessing, and not just another mouth to feed or another "burden" should I end up on my own again. (I'm not PLANNING on ending up on my own again. I'm going to make this WORK!!)

It doesn't bother me that people feel that this isn't such great news. I mean, like I said, it's understandable given my history and my circumstances. But I REFUSE to allow for any negativity to surface because of this baby. I'm not going to focus on any negatives or downsides or anything LIKE that. I don't do that anymore. I'm being POSITIVE about this. I am genuinely thrilled to be having another baby and there's not one thing in the world that could change how I feel.

Of course, some may see this "positivity" as a form of denial. Like I am being blind to certain realities related to my pregnancy, vis-a-vis, the baby's father. But, I'm not, There's no need to worry about that. I KNOW what I went through with my ex-husband-who-is-my-husband-again. Believe me, I have not forgotten ANYTHING. I know what to look out for. I know I have to be careful and not wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm not being stupid or blind or someone he can kick around again.

But I AM happy about this baby and no matter what happens with the father, I am STILL happy about it! I WANT THIS BABY! I knew what I was doing when I got into bed with him. I WANTED this and if things don't work out or something ELSE comes about, I have no regrets.

I thank God for this baby. I feel truly blessed to be carrying another child and I'm very happy about it. It would be nice if everybody else was happy about it, too, but I suppose you can't get everyone to understand something like this.