It's a boy

For some time now, I have been babysitting a 2 1/2-year-old boy named "Bobby." I took this babysitting job because my search for a REAL job has been painfully slow, and my finances are a little strained so it's not like I can turn down a chance to bring in a little extra money each week. It's not a lot, but it's SOMETHING! (We divorced/single parents do what we can when money is tight.) When I first started babysitting him, he was wearing diapers. The tasks involved in caring for him for 9 hours for 4 days a week pretty much involved the same tasks of a parent with a child so young, and I'd often sarcastically mumble to myself, "Congratulations. It's a boy!" (Incidentally, Bobby has started calling me "mommy.")

When I started on changing his diapers, I'll admit I was a little confused. I've changed MILLIONS of diapers so that's not the confusing part. I just wasn't very experienced in changing diapers for a boy. When I was pregnant, I'd read EVERYTHING I could get my hands on about parenting, and my readings on diaper-changing included "special information" on changing diapers for boys.

Apparently, baby boys must have their...ahem, "male appendages"...I think it was down to the left? Anyway, that's what I THOUGHT! I remember how one sister-in-law "rescued" me from my being all confused over how to change her son's diaper and showed me, just lightly putting the top of the diaper over his front. "See? This is how you do it," she had said. So, I tried that. I made sure his you-know-what was AT LEAST pointing down and VERY GENTLY put the top of the diaper on him. And, it worked out okay.

Whew!

Recently, his parents started potty-training him. First they went the cold turkey route, then they started using Pull-Ups. Now they have told me that he is completely potty trained.

Whew!

Except I have to help him with the aiming.

Uh-oh.

I asked his mom, "How do I do that?"

She then showed me herself, how I help him ... hold his... you-know-what while he goes to the bathroom. They have trained him to pee standing up and poop sitting down. So there was no more of that "all-purpose sitting down" technique I'd been using during the "cold turkey" stage.

OK So, I got THAT part. One thing, though: I have to...TOUCH him down there?

Before anybody starts calling names or flogging me for being "such an inexperienced mom, tsk! tsk!" let me JUST say that I am too sensitive to the traumas children have faced to even feel comfortable enough to put my hand ANYWHERE near a boy's...equipment. With wipes, I have NO PROBLEM. But now I have to actually...hold it? With my hand?

Eek.

It's not that I'd even THINK that kinda thing would be a turn-on. On the contrary, I feel a little uncomfortable about it because my conscience keeps telling me that touching a little boy's you-know-what is BAD! BAD! BAD!!

And I KNOW this. Of course.

I keep telling myself, "It's not like you're touching him to get off on it! You're just trying to help him pee!"

On the other hand, I keep hearing horror stories of people who were JUST trying to help a little boy with his aiming when he went to the bathroom and they ended up being accused of molesting the child.

Ack! I CAN'T WIN!!

So I tried THIS approach: I told myself, "Well, you've seen a p**** before, haven't you??"

Well, yes, but that's on A GUY! A GROWN GUY! This is different. This is a CHILD. They're so innocent and the world is so cruel and misguided and people get accused of things they didn't even DO!

I mean, SERIOUSLY. I have no issue with touching an ADULT MALE'S you-know-what. (Uhh, but only IF that kinda thing was called for...DON'T HURT ME!) But with a child... I don't know. People get the wrong idea.

And HOW exactly do I help him even AIM, anyway??

I'm just the babysitter!

It's times like this I wish I had a husband. Then I could tell him, "YOU show him how to aim! You're a GUY!"

I DO want to have more children someday. And maybe later on down the road, I would have my ACTUAL son to help with the...aiming stuff. In that case, I wouldn't be feeling so uncomfortable about touching down there, because I am doing a parental duty in helping my child to learn how to use the bathroom. And NOBODY would even start to THINK I'd be entertaining bad thoughts in the process. This is different. It's just...different!

I stressed out over this, then came the moment of truth: He had to pee. I held my breath and headed into the bathroom with him. Lifted the seat. Pulled down his pants. I started to reach for it then noticed something: The child is quite small. And my toilet is...quite big. So I lifted him up and, eureka! That's it!! I don't need to put my hand ANYWHERE NEAR his private parts. Holding him up did the trick just fine.

Whew!