The evil "R" word

The city of Eugene is making a fuss over the recent movie, Tropic Thunder. Specifically, how degradingly it portrays people with mental disabilities and using crude humor along with calling said people "retarded." This, many say, is in very poor taste and reflects the negative stereotype of associating those with such disabilities with the label "retarded."

I have a friend who once wrote a rant about this very same thing. (I am unable to find it at the mo.) I, too, feel that it is wrong, wrong, wrong to label people with mental disabilities as "retarded." Not only is it wrong, but it is also cruel and a sign of ignorance.

In the past, I have had to bite my tongue anytime people would call others "retarded" if they did something wrong. It just REALLY irritates me. Trust me, there are more appropriate words to use, and that word is not one of them. I even got so angry because this man I was talking with kept calling his mother "retarded." I just had to say, "You know, it's really childish to resort to name-calling. And I don't think your mother would appreciate it if she knew you were calling her retarded." (I have no respect for any man who does not respect his mother.)

But I am glad that the citizens of Eugene are stepping up about this. I, too, want to say that I don't feel it's appropriate to portray those with mental disabilities in such a crude, negative way. Now, I have not seen the movie yet -- have to wait until I can see it with captions -- but what I am hearing about it makes me want to avoid seeing it altogether. This is just not a form of "entertainment" at all.

Today, as I was reading the newspaper, my husband saw me shaking my head as I read an article. He wanted to know what was up and I complained about how students at a charter school were playing computer games (specifically, World of Warcraft). He pointed out it was a special needs school. "You know, with retards and..." He waved his hand to indicate anyone else who attends a special needs school. I had to frown over this. It's not the first time he's used this word so casually. I was NOT happy about it. And I haven't been happy with his OTHER use of the word, either. I have expressed my opinion that he should not be using that "R-word" so blatantly. That he should call a disability for what it is and not by some label. (One time, he used it to describe any child who is autistic.) Unfortunately, he doesn't share my views. I certainly DO NOT want my children growing up thinking it's okay to call people such a name (or ANY name, for that matter). Sensitivity begins in the home. I know I have a way to go in getting my husband to understand how I feel about calling people by such a name. But I feel that it is definitely something which I must do.

Years ago, when I lived in the desert, one of my sisters did volunteer work for a local charity called Foundation for the Retarded. At one point, some people wanted them to change their name, drop the "R" word and make it read something else. Their opinion was that it was demeaning to use such a word to represent the members who have mental disabilities. The Foundation's response was that they were going to keep the word in their name, hoping it will gradually make this word not so "evil" in our language and come to be accepted as a serious classification of such individuals.
I don't know about that idea, but as far as I'm concerned, any name-calling is demeaning no matter who it is aimed at. And, for the time being, the "R" word is considered to be one such name.