Pictures of Jesse

As promised, here are before and after haircut pictures of Jesse. The last ones are the after pictures.

Wordless Wednesday

Can't wait!

I'm soooo anxious for the baby to get here. I can't wait!

I'm not at that point where I'm ready to scream, "Get this thing OUT of me!" But it's more of anticipation. I really can't wait until I am FINALLY holding my son in my arms. I'm so excited over this prospect, I am counting down the days!

I told Jennifer about this last night. She said, "I can't wait, either." I added, "I bet he'll be a beautiful baby." And she said, with her pride, "I was a beautiful baby." (Well, she WAS. LOL)

I keep looking at some of the baby outfits I've bought for him and keep imagining what he'll look like wearing them. I imagine taking TONS of pictures of the baby with him wearing these cute little outfits.

I KNOW the first few months will be exhausting, but I don't care. I'm EXCITED!! In just two more months, I'll be having a brand new baby!! YAY!!!!!!

These dreams (and fears)

Well, it finally happened: I had the "baby born early" dream last night. With all that's been going on with this pregnancy, I keep worrying about the baby being born early. Especially with the Braxton-Hicks contractions being so strong sometimes, and the lower abdominal pain being so intense. Last night, I was dealing with such pain, and in between gasping and gritting my teeth, I used deep breathing to help me deal with it. Amazingly, deep breathing did the trick. (I am still so surprised when deep breathing helps alleviate the pain in my stomach or even in my back. I know it's one common method of helping pain, that it's been used for centuries, but I still have never understood how it works.) Anyway, while I was having that pain, I was lying there praying that it wasn't a labor pain.

So, it's not surprising I had the dream I had last night. In my dream, I was in the passenger seat of a car, clutching my stomach and screaming in pain, in the throes of labor. Hubby was driving me to the hospital. A cop tried to pull him over for speeding and he was yelling out the window as he pointed at me, "Hospital!" Hearing this, the cop escorted us to the hospital, but I blacked out before we got there. When I awoke, I was in a hospital bed, and still pregnant. I slowly got out of the bed, despite all the tubes and everything attached to me, and I was walking around the room, confused. Somehow or another, the hospital had stopped labor, but I was still so confused. I didn't know if I was going to be safe, if the baby was going to be safe, if I was even HAVING the baby anymore now, etc.

When I was pregnant with Jennifer, I had A LOT of "worry dreams" about her. I dreamed she was born with one eye (I gave birth to a Cyclops!), that she never cried after she was born (maybe that was a sign she'd never go through colic, which thankfully she never did!), that I'd lost her, that someone kidnapped her from the hospital, etc. I had ALL the worry dreams of pregnancy. I've rarely had any with this one. In fact, this is only the second one! In the first one, I dreamed that I wasn't able to handle the job of caring for 2 kids -- and Jennifer was the one to suffer because of that. (I know the baby will need more attention and care than my little 6-year-old will, but still, that dream was depressing.)

On the other hand, I've had quite a tough go with this pregnancy. Maybe because this one is my last! Heh. So in that way, I have more worries going on on the outside, rather than on the inside. (I had an easy pregnancy with Jennifer. The only bad thing to happen was when I got a tear in the amniotic sac after lifting heavy boxes, but even then it was not a "crisis" because it healed soon enough.)

This whole thing makes me wonder about other "worry dreams" pregnant women have had. I once saw a thread about this on a pregnancy message board online, but that was long ago and I'm curious about it again. Maybe I'll try doing an online search and see what turns up. At least I know it's only my fears causing these dreams. I AM afraid of having the baby early. There's only 2 more months to go, but all the same, it'd be NICE if I can carry this baby to term without any surprises.

Or should I say...any OTHER surprises.

It took an episode of "Brisco County, Jr."

Watch out, world: Jesse James will ride again! And you can thank the TV show, "Brisco County, Jr."

The REAL Jesse James, famous outlaw, is not who I am talking about here. We have been watching the ENTIRE series of "Brisco County, Jr." on DVD lately. (Hubby is a HUGE Bruce Campbell fan.) The other night, as we watched the episode "And Baby Makes Three," the part where Whip Morgan (played by Jeff Phillips) names a Chinese baby "Jesse" is what prompted hubby to turn to me with a look on his face and say/sign, "Jesse."

I studied him at first, then it hit me. That was a name he liked for the baby. (Somebody call Guinness!! I couldn't believe it!! He FINALLY found a name he liked! I swear I almost fainted.) I scowled and said/signed, "That's one of the names I suggested before and you said no!"

He shrugged and said/signed, "I can't even remember half the names you've suggested."

Hard to believe, given I've been throwing names at him since I found out we were expecting in March.

So to refresh his memory, I made up a list of ALL the boy names I really liked and printed it out for him to go over. As amazed as I am about his new attitude in picking a name for the baby, I'm relieved, too. I'm almost 7 months along and think it would be NICE to just choose a name and get that over with. I've constantly been dreading giving birth to the baby and not having any name to give him! So from that list, hubby crossed off almost every name on there, except two. "Jesse" and "James."

How ironic. The very mention of the name "Jesse" had me thinking of Jesse James.

I can't name the baby "Jesse James," though. We already have a middle name picked out for him. It's a middle name hubby has, as does his father and grandfather. And I'm not crazy about giving the baby TWO middle names....though the "James" name was once seriously considered, since it's the name of hubby's father.

Still, it's a funny thought that our son would have the name similar to a famous cowboy. I had to chuckle over this whole thing, even with the character Whip saying, "It's a good cowboy name." Indeed it is, though I doubt that is a factor with hubby. He's a guy who hates horses (my daughter and I adore them). I guess he just likes the name itself, though, despite who it reminds me of. At least it's a "J" name, something both of us wanted. All the same, would be nice if he'd picked a name from one of the characters in my novel, November's Child. At least in this case, the reason behind selecting the baby's name would be more closer to home.

Warning! Pregnant woman in the house!

The other night, I was online looking up fetal devlopment at 8 weeks. (Yes, even though I've already had one child, it's STILL so cool to see how this little life inside of me is GROWING -- even the second time around.) (I no longer have all the pregnancy books I had the first time around. Sigh.) One of the things it said was, "You may notice your stomach getting a little bigger and it's time to pack away your favorite jeans."

Ah, yeah. I'm definitely feeling that pain. I am one of those "jeans freaks." I LOVE wearing jeans, mainly blue jeans. I was NOT happy when I packed away the pairs too small for me now. And, yes, my stomach HAS gotten a little bigger. Strangely, I started showing early, at around 6 weeks. (This is different than last time!) Seriously, my in-laws' neighbor took one look at me last week and asked, "Are you pregnant?" (I wonder if showing early is common for a second pregnancy?) Anyway. I think I am at a size 16 now. I know they have maternity jeans, but I don't know if they're really affordable. During my first pregnancy, my sister-in-law loaned me her maternity jeans, and I wore them ALL the time. They were soooo comfortable. For now, I'm wearing skirts and elastic-waist pants. And of course I've mumbled in frustration, "I'll probably be wearing these damn skirts until I deliver!" But I'm going to start looking for some maternity jeans. I don't want to get stuck with pants, skirts and sweats!

Another one of the "first trimester blues" I've been going through is the mood swings. I've been having them BAD!! (I still feel so terrible for yelling at Jason last night. He didn't even know what was going on, poor guy!) I've TRIED like crazy to get a handle on it, but so far, that's not panning out very well. When I get angry, I get REALLY angry. When I get sad, I break down and cry like a baby. (The other night, I wanted to sleep, throw up and cry -- all at the same time!) I did not have these mood swings as bad the first time. It's like this pregnancy is making up for ALL that yuckiness I was spared during the first trimester last time. I just lose my temper so easily and get so caught up in a whirlwind of emotions. This does not bode well for when I have to interview people for articles. I mean, I'll probably end up screaming, "JUST ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!" Ugh.

I've also been having trouble sleeping (yet another warning from that Web site). Sometimes, I'm just not comfortable (time to get a body pillow!) and sometimes I'm just too stressed or wound up to have a good night's sleep. I also have nights where I keep waking up from bad dreams (something's going to happen to me or something's going to happen to the baby).

And, finally, I've already mentioned I've been coping with nausea. I'm STILL coping with it! (The second trimester just can't get here fast enough, can it? Oh, no!! Time has to go sooo slow!! GRR.) I've been having the nausea really bad, too. It's gotten so bad, I've had to put a cold cloth to my forehead or wipe my face and back of my neck with it. Ugh. The doctor in California prescribed me pills for nausea, but there's NO WAY I'm taking them. I DON'T WANT PILLS! When they gave me that stuff at the hospital, I was throwing up for several hours. It was AWFUL. (Yeah, I have a sensitivity to antibiotics. I CAN'T handle them!) So, I'm pretty much left to use home remedies for the nausea, or just DEAL with it.

I have told others about these "first trimester blues" I'm having. I guess as a way of warning them. LOL But one friend commented, "Must be a boy giving you all this trouble." Hm, I wonder. That reminds me of this T-shirt I once saw that said: "MENstruation, MENopause, MENtal breakdown, Ever notice how all our problems begin with Men?" Haha. Well, it's not like I'm blameless in getting myself pregnant. It would just be NICE if it wasn't making me so miserable so much of the time.

OK, enough out of me. I have errands to run today and things to do. I just hope I can find some time to get some rest!