"It is finished"

I was watching The Nativity Story the other day. Such a good movie! I enjoyed watching this movie that was written from Mary's POV. How adequately it portrayed how frightened Mary must have been, just a teenager (if I recall Bible studies correctly, she was 14 years old), when told that she would marry a stranger she barely knew, a man 40 years old and who she did not even love. It also really zeroed in on her fears of what others would say when she conceived the baby Jesus. What if they didn't believe her? What if she was ostracized because of it? I mean, she faced DEATH because of it. But she didn't say, 'Oh, I'll just get rid of it.' 'I'll run away and no one will know.' 'I'll accuse Joseph of lying about his innocence.' No, she didn't do anything LIKE that. She took on her mission from God, despite her fears and worries. She said goodbye to a comfortable life and embraced the difficult road ahead of her.

And at the end of His life, when Jesus was on the Cross, His final words were this: "It is finished." He, too, had a mission from His Father. And now His mission had been fulfilled.

Jesus was 33 at the time He died. Just 33 years old, the same age I am right now. I am 33 years old, and I think about what it must be like to die at such an age. To pass from this world to the next at the age of 33.

In a way, I AM dying...to my old life. To the way I was before. Just recently, I have made a major change in my life. I have opened up my heart to Jesus and allowed God to have complete control over my life. I have completely surrendered myself and my life to God. I have committed myself to Him. Before, I was only allowing God in my life SOME of the time. Only halfway. Whenever it was convenient. And then I realized, "I either have God in my life COMPLETELY...or I don't have Him in my life at all."

Being a Christian isn't about serving God whenever I feel like it. It's not about doing what God commands of me to do when it's convenient or when I'm not so tired. Either I am a follower of God or I am not. There's no "conditional commitment" with religion. There's no religious conviction only some of the time. God wants us 100%. He doesn't want part of us or most of us. ALL of us. Our minds, our hearts, our actions. ALL of us.

This is one truth that I have learned. When I was trying to get pregnant with my son, I KNEW I had to conceive this baby. And I knew this baby was going to be a boy. I knew it was time for him to enter the world. I didn't know these things by dream interpretation or reading a crystal ball(which I don't actually do, LOL). I just KNEW it. AND I KNEW I HAD TO DO IT. Don't think about it, pray about it. JUST DO IT! And there was no question that I HAD to do it.

Just as I know one other thing now: I must end the life I was living in the past and take on this new life of devoting myself to serving God. I may not know everything that I need to know and I may get confused by things. Not understand things. Be deceived by things. (There are people I know all around me who have and still do tell me to do things that are not Christian.) I get so easily fooled at times and so...misled. But I know I must follow God and I must do it NOW. Not when I am 40 years old, not when my children are grown, not when I am stronger or smarter or richer or pretty. NOW. RIGHT NOW. And it is a calling I cannot ignore.

Before, a long time ago, I was devoted to being a Christian. People teased me about it. Even my own family members said I was having this "holier than thou" attitude because I chose to live the Christian life. This time, one worry I have had is that people will accuse me of being a hypocrite, because I'm not exactly perfect. I have lived an unfaithful life. I have done things in the past that were wrong. That were a sin. I KNOW this. I am not perfect. Nor do I aspire to be. I'm human, I CAN'T be perfect. But I CAN try to live a Godly life. I CAN make it a point to SHUN sin, to SHUN the bad ways, and embrace the Light of God. This is my mindset. I'm no saint, but I now devote myself to living a Goidly life. I know people will say unkind things to me...accuse me of having a "self-righteous" attitude and persecute me for my beliefs. Even try to lead me astray. But I still take on this new life of serving God, despite all of that. People will say what they are going to say.

I have said before in my prayers that I will never turn away from God. Despite being married to a nonbeliever, despite people judging me, despite people calling me names, trying to deceive me, mislead me and cause me to sin. Despite ALL of that, I will never turn away from God. And now, with this new life I am living, I still have that conviction with my whole heart. I will never turn away.

My old life and my old ways are over. Done with. It is finished.

The Cross

Yesterday, I had an appointment with a lactation consultant at the hospital. While Jennifer, Jesse and I sat in a room waiting to be taken to the office, Jen pointed at something up on the wall and asked, "What's that?"

I blinked at her in surprise. "That's a cross."

"What does it mean?"

More surprise. "That's what Jesus died on."

"Who's Jesus?"

OK, I thought. I'm going to have to have a little talk with her Sunday school teacher. And, maybe I should be more informative to her on that end, too. "You don't know who Jesus is?" I asked.

She shook her head.

I frowned. "What are they teaching you at church?" I then gave her a brief, summarized explanation of who Jesus was, why He died on the cross and how He died for all of us.

Jennifer got all sad. "He died?"

"Well...yes. The bad people hung Him on the cross. But, Jennifer, it's a good thing. He died for you and me. His death took away all of our sins." I started to wonder how I could explain the concept of original sin to a 6-year-old.

"But He died!" she went on, all teary-eyed and sad. She looked down, a deep frown on her face.

"Honey, Jesus isn't really dead," I explained. "It's just His body that died. Jesus came back to life. And He went to Heaven. His spirit is alive."

This didn't offer much consolation to her. She just sat there all sad, looking down at the floor.

"Don't be sad that He died, be happy," I said, unsure of the right words to say! "When He died, He took away all of our sins. And that means we get to go to Heaven, too, when we die." I thought on this for a minute, then added, "If you're good."

I wondered if those last words had any affect on her.

Well, she soon wasn't so sad anymore. And I made it a point to get out her Children's Bible and read to her the story of Jesus. (Uh, we haven't gotten to that part....yet.)

All of this made me remember that gospel song, "Old Rugged Cross." It wasn't long before it was stuck in my head. I love that song! It's one of my favorites.

Here are the lyrics:

The Old Rugged Cross
Copyright: George Bennard, 1873-1958

On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross,
the emblem of suffering and shame;
and I love that old cross where the dearest and best
for a world of lost sinners was slain.

Refrain:
So I'll cherish the old rugged cross,
till my trophies at last I lay down;
I will cling to the old rugged cross,
and exchange it some day for a crown.

O that old rugged cross, so despised by the world,
has a wondrous attraction for me;
for the dear Lamb of God left his glory above
to bear it to dark Calvary. (Refrain)

In that old rugged cross, stained with blood so divine,
a wondrous beauty I see,
for 'twas on that old cross Jesus suffered and died,
to pardon and sanctify me. (Refrain)

To that old rugged cross I will ever be true,
its shame and reproach gladly bear;
then he'll call me some day to my home far away,
where his glory forever I'll share. (Refrain)