Thursday, March 29, 2007

Post-vacation craziness

I thought it was only a temporary thing. That, because I had a trip out to California coming up, things were going to be a little hectic for a couple of weeks. And, boy, were they ever! It got to the point where there was just SO MUCH to do and set up and arrange and take care of before I left, I had to make "to do" lists just so I didn't forget anything. (Of course, there were SOME things I ended up not being able to do in time, like finish all the laundry or call my doctor with a question.) But I got the important stuff done, and that's what matters.

Then we left for vacation and I thought everything would settle down from here on out. Silly me.

The vacation itself was pleasant. My nephew's wedding was beautiful (my brother cried, the bride cried) and it was good to see family again. I hadn't seen them for over a year! Same with Jennifer. We all took lots of pictures, went out, shopped, talked and just hung out to visit. Everyone's excited about the baby and we even brainstormed for names. (Right now, for a boy, we have either "Luke Taylor" or "Dylan Taylor." My mom and I both like the name "Luke" but Jason isn't so crazy about it. Eh, he'll come around. LOL For a girl, I like either "Megan" or "Josephine.")

There is one thing I learned from my vacation, though. Travelling while pregnant is NO FUN, especially when you're in the first trimester and still coping with morning sickness. Nausea was my biggest enemy on my trip, and there was even one time I almost threw up in my sister's car! (In my defense, we were driving down a mountain, from Lake Arrowhead to Palm Desert, and the road was REALLY swervy.) You can bet I ate A LOT of crackers on my trip. (Keebler loves me! LOL) I am so grateful I never actually vomitted, though. That would have been embarrassing, especially if it happened while I had dinner with two sisters at The Elephant Bar!

But two other things happened after my vacation that are not so much of news to me. One is that, when going on vacation, you come back with MORE stuff than you left with! (Good thing I had extra room in both mine and my daughter's suitcases.) Another is that, when you leave on vacation, something is BOUND to go wrong at home. Actually, two things went wrong: I came home to an ant infestation in my kitchen (courtesy of dog food left in my sink by the neighbor's son, who watched my dog for me) and there was a parking violation on one of the cars, complete with the threat to have the car towed off if it wasn't moved! What's so bad about this? The ticket was issued on the day we left. AND! The car wasn't even WORKING. Uggh. Well, those things were taken care of after we got home, and I was just at least grateful my dog was still alive and not starved to death. Heh, I sure did worry about him while we were gone. Oh, and a deccorative fishbowl I have on my kitchen countertop, complete with pretty aquarium marbles and glass fishies, was cracked. There was water all over the counter. Oy. Good thing they weren't real fishies! The bowl ended up breaking; I held it over the kitchen sink for inspection and the bottom half broke off and dropped into the sink!

There is one other thing that is probably some kind of "rule" about going on vacations, though. After returning home, in addition to the "mini-crises" we returned to, there is still MORE WORK to do. More cleaning. More catching up on emails. More reorganizing/redecorating the house. More appointments, school stuff and writing-related work. Oh, yeah. It's definitely "March madness" in this house. If this keeps up on a day-to-day basis, I'll be needing another vacation! To Hawaii!!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Um, yay?

I have pretty much shared my pregnancy news with everyone within earshot -- and online, too. I've posted the news on my MySpace blog and even posted a bulletin about it. I've told friends in emails and my family heard the news via chat and phone calls. I've told almost all my friends in person and I'm sharing this news in this blog, too.

While a majority of people have been excited and supportive of this news, some people have expressed doubts and uncertainty. Well, I can understand THAT. I mean, I'm having a baby with a guy I divorced! But, still. I don't think this is a "bad thing" or some kind of a mistake.

I'm HAPPY about this pregnancy!! I'm so excited about it and I consider this baby a blessing, and not just another mouth to feed or another "burden" should I end up on my own again. (I'm not PLANNING on ending up on my own again. I'm going to make this WORK!!)

It doesn't bother me that people feel that this isn't such great news. I mean, like I said, it's understandable given my history and my circumstances. But I REFUSE to allow for any negativity to surface because of this baby. I'm not going to focus on any negatives or downsides or anything LIKE that. I don't do that anymore. I'm being POSITIVE about this. I am genuinely thrilled to be having another baby and there's not one thing in the world that could change how I feel.

Of course, some may see this "positivity" as a form of denial. Like I am being blind to certain realities related to my pregnancy, vis-a-vis, the baby's father. But, I'm not, There's no need to worry about that. I KNOW what I went through with my ex-husband-who-is-my-husband-again. Believe me, I have not forgotten ANYTHING. I know what to look out for. I know I have to be careful and not wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm not being stupid or blind or someone he can kick around again.

But I AM happy about this baby and no matter what happens with the father, I am STILL happy about it! I WANT THIS BABY! I knew what I was doing when I got into bed with him. I WANTED this and if things don't work out or something ELSE comes about, I have no regrets.

I thank God for this baby. I feel truly blessed to be carrying another child and I'm very happy about it. It would be nice if everybody else was happy about it, too, but I suppose you can't get everyone to understand something like this.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Making room for Daddy

After an externsive amount of thought and discussion, my husband and I decided he would move in with us instead of us moving back into his apartment. Mind you, I'm not exactly living in a "house" per se. It's a duplex, but my unit is completely separate from the other and so it's cool. We got a carport, storage room, washer/dryer, a fireplace and a fenced backyard! These are the bonuses we considered as far as where we'd live is concerned. Later, we WILL get us a house, but we're not at that part of the plan yet.

Still, I do call my place a "house" because, well, it's not an apartment, and it's LIKE a house. Just, smaller.

Anyway. My HOUSE (ahem) is once again a disaster area while my husband is moving all of his stuff over here. I get all weak-kneed just looking at the mess. Ugh. But, that's okay. We just need some time to get everything organized and sorted out. We have ALMOST two of everything: Two beds, two tables/chairs, two VCRs and two desks. Some things are going into storage and some things are being thrown out. I've gotten rid of my bed, which is FINE with me. It was terribly uncomfortable. (Many people have assumed that uncomfortable bed added to my back misery.) My table and chairs are going into storage. They're old but I can't part with them because of sentimental value. And anyway, it REALLY belongs to another sister of mine. Getting rid of my entertainment center and recliner, too. The desk I have now is going into my daughter's room. She has an old schoolroom desk but she likes this one and I've always told her it will be hers someday. So, she's happy about that. We're also getting rid of my couch. I never really liked it, anyway. Only got it because I NEEDED a couch. But we're gonna have a new one now, which is cool.

It will take us some time to get EVERYTHING organized and the "two homes" melded into one, but we're going to keep at it and keep at it. Eventually, everything will be where it should be and my house will look normal again.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Sleeping with the enemy

There are two new things going on in my life right now. One thing is something that's been going on for some time, but I was too nervous to tell certain people about it. These "certain people" were my family. I figured this kind of news would not be welcome to them, and for over a month, I languished over how I would share it. What would I say? How would I say it? And should I wait until I see them on the 17th to tell them?

These are questions I agonized over. I wanted to tell my friends, of course, but I had to tell my family first. They had to know first.

I finally decided to just wait until I see them on the 17th to tell them. But then something else and something bigger than that happened, and that sort of changed things. (Isn't it just like life?? We can never plan anything.) So I talked to the other person involved and eventually decided I should call my mom and tell her. I also told my sister and a nephew as we chatted online yesterday.

But my nephew, being so keen, ended up guessing the SECOND news. Without even realizing he was guessing it! That is the news I wanted to tell everyone in person. But I guess that won't be happening now. See, we can't plan these things!

The first news is this: My ex-husband and I have reconciled. We have not remarried, but we are giving things another go. I had to defend myself before I told each person and it turned out I didn't have to. My mom was just thrilled for me. My sister and nephew were surprised. Both of them said this kind of thing was definitely unexpected, and I empathized there. I never thought it would happen, but it has. My husband and I are back together. I don't refer to him as my EX-husband anymore, either. It's kind of strange calling him my "husband" again, but there it is. My daughter has her family back.

And let me just say, for the record, EVERYTHING IS FINE. I'm not sad or depressed. I'm not drinking, dealing with low self-esteem issues or crying myself to sleep, or anything. I'm happy! My husband is happy, and so is our daughter. He is VERY good to us, we are communicating 100% and all is well. Really. We're FINE. I still think the two of us should see a marriage counselor, and I'm not exactly ready to remarry him at this point in time. But for now, at least, things are good.

Which is a good thing, because of the second news my nephew ended up guessing: I'm pregnant. And happy about that, too.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Seasonal sickness?

Maybe it's the "hippy atmosphere" of Eugene getting to me, but I'm starting to get to the point where I'd rather rely on herbs and Mother Nature to heal me rather than a bottle of pills. Granted, this attitude of mine could stem from the fact that I grew up with a father who leaned heavily on using herbs and plants for his health. and who often apprised me of what they were for. But I have been known to rely on modern medicine for a great many things, especially when it came to the reconstructive surgeries I had following the car accident I received my burns from.

Lately, though, I'm reshaping my attitude, and starting to look more towards traditional, nonmedical methods for maintaining health and well-being. And if I can't avoid using modern medicines altogether, I am at least being sparse with it. I remember being told if you use too much of a medicine, your body builds up an immunity to it. So this is partly why I am being sparse. This is also why I refuse to take something like Tylenol or Motrin when I have a headache or something. I don't take it until it's a last resort!

I have been sick since Friday. I don't know WHAT I am sick with, but it's something I have tried to ride out for as long as I can. I have had fever, nausea, sore throat, pain in my head and stomach, chills, runny/stuffy nose, sneezing, watery eyes, coughing up phlegm, body aches and general disorientation. I've tried to rest as much as possible. I've been taking a lot of Vitamin C and drinking a lot of water. I'm avoiding caffeine whenever possible and drinking 7Up. I've also had green tea and eating more fruits/vegetables.

I was chatting with my nephew the other day. He is sick, too. So are most of the people at my mom's house (there are 9 people living there). We wondered if we're all getting sick because the seasons are changing. That's an interesting thought. I later learned that a whole host of other people are sick, too. I mean, I visited sites and people were posting messages to each other about being sick. When we went to urgent care for my daughter last night, the place was packed. A whole lot of other people were sick, too. Some worse than me.

I know rest is important in getting better, but it's hard to rest when you're a mom. My little one is sick, too, though. She has an ear infection. So I suppose when she rests, I'll be resting, too. She is on antibiotics, though. I know she needs them to fight off her infection.

As for me, I'll admit that I DID cave in to something. Last night, I got some NyQuil. I DESPERATELY needed to get a good night's rest, so that's why I got it. Otherwise, when I'm in bed trying to sleep, I won't be able to breathe or even feel comfortable enough to sleep. But, that's the only thing I am using. During the day, I can pretty much cope with it. I mean, I DO get frustrated my body aches are so bad that I can't even lift a basket of laundry. But I know that this, like everything, will pass. And I just need to ride it out.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

I ain't afraid of no ghost

Last night, I was told an interesting story. I was talking with
someone on how some people see things they can't understand or
explain and right away they jump to the conclusion that they saw
a ghost. This happened because last night I could swear I saw
someone walking to the storage room in my backyard, but upon
examination, NO ONE was there and all the doors (three of them)
were locked. I didn't end up thinking "well, it must have been a
ghost." I just filed it under "unexplained."

I am leaving the teller of this story anonymous and since it
wasn't tape-recorded, or something like that, I have to retell is
as paraphrased.

"There are certain things you need to consider before claiming
something is done by a ghost. One of these things is timing. A
friend at work told me about this house on the (Oregon) coast.
It's empty and been abandoned for several years. But sometimes,
at a certain time of the day, there is a very loud moaning sound
that goes through the whole house. It's just moaning and nothing
else. People were freaked out by it and nobody would live there.
Some of them thought it was a ghost. Then, finally, one day, a
fisherman by the house heard the noise and decided to check it
out. He noticed that the noise happened whenever the tide came
in. See, timing. So he checked it out some more and found a well
in the basement. The well was dug a long time ago but people
stopped using it. But when the tide came in, the moaning sound
started up. The well was connected to the cliffs, made of
limestone. It's right there when the tide comes in and hits it.
He figured out the sound was the air rushing up through the well.
When the tide didn't come in, there was no air. And no sound. But
when the tide did come in, the air rushed up through the well and
made the moaning sound."

I thought this was interesting indeed. In my research on Oregon
hauntings, I discovered there are A LOT of haunted houses
(or...supposedly haunted). There is even a story in circulation
of how if you wander through the woods deep enough in Forest
Grove, a burly ghost will beat you up. (Source: ) But, I, of course,
am willing to test that theory myself. Just haven't figured out
how to squeeze that trip in. Timing, and all.

Friday, March 02, 2007

March mayhem

Wow. It's March already. February sure went by fast! But, time flies when you're having fun. And, when you are busy.

January and February sure were busy months for me. March is no exception. Just yesterday I looked at the page on the calendar and had to shake my head over all the appointments and such penciled in. In addition to appointments, my nephew is getting married, which calls for a one-week trip out to California. I am also taking a one-day CPR class at the local college and working on another novel. Add to this that I'm going through some side jobs and getting the job training thing set up. In addition to all the other stuff I've mentioned before (reorganizing the house) and the mom stuff.

The mom stuff has, lately, pulled me away more often. My little one has been sick with fever so I'm keeping a close eye on her. I've been sending e-mails back and forth to her dad about her progress. Her temperature just goes up and down. So I'm staying closer to her until it passes.