"It was an accident."

If there's one thing parents are going to hear a lot from their kids, it's the line, "It was an accident." Sometimes, their defense is warranted. Sometimes, accidents DO happen. But I feel there is a fine line between what an accident REALLY is, and that children should be able to tell the difference. If it's an accident, you say you are sorry. You try to clean up the mess. You DO something instead of just walk off! Otherwise, when they say it was an accident, then it's either a lie or just an excuse to get out of trouble.

Take, for example, the following incident.

This morning at my daughter's school, as I followed her and a group of children through the hall to their classrooms, I noticed that one boy in my daughter's class was acting moody. My daughter tried to talk to him but he just waved her off. So as we walked through the hallway, I saw one boy in the group the other boy was in come falling to the side and fall to the ground. On his way down, he hit his head on the metal leg of a nearby table.

And Mr. Moody just kept walking.

I suspected the moody child was the one who pushed the boy, but I had not actually seen it. All I saw was the other little boy come falling to the ground. I saw him fall. I saw him hit his head on that metal table leg. And I saw him crumpled up on the floor, clutching his head and crying. I was too stunned to move. I kept seeing him fall again and again in my mind. I was so upset by the whole thing. It's terrifying when kids hit their heads on something. Head injuries can be very serious in children. I was too shocked to move, only explain to concerned parents what had happened.

Jennifer was also stunned. She, too, had seen it. She looked at me, not knowing what to do. I told her, "Go get your teacher."

One parent tried to comfort the boy as he cried. Then another teacher came over to where we were and started to help him. I think she asked him what happened because he was pointing and talking. The whole left side of his head was red and it just scared me even more. I was standing there thinking, "God, please, I hope he doesn't go deaf." (Well, he probably won't, of course. But that's what ran through my mind. Other head injuries could result from that kind of thing.)

The teacher helped the little boy up and led him to the office. I went into Jennifer's class and asked her what had happened. "Did someone push him?" I asked.

She nodded. "XXXXXXXXXX did it, but he said it was an accident."

"How can you accidentally push someone!" I incredulously cried.

I didn't like this. I didn't like it one bit! If it HAD been an accident, he would have helped that little boy up. He would've apologized. NOT WALK AWAY!!

I was so upset. I went over to the office to ask if the little boy was okay. I was told they were looking at his head and indicated where exactly he had gotten hurt. The lady I spoke with said, "He's fine."

I had to wonder over that. How could a child fall and hit his head on a metal table leg and be "fine"?? Maybe he was really hurt. That's what I worry about. What if something happens later on? What if he just falls into unconsciousness while standing in the lunch line? Or starts having a ringing in his left ear?? FINE!!??

I told her that it scared me. You don't know what could happen when it comes to kids and hitting their head. I know kids tend to bump their head all the time, but that was a pretty nasty bump this time.

I had to calm myself down. I was shocked, sad and angry all rolled up into one. I really had to fight back tears after I left the school. I wanted to rant about it on a MySpace bulletin. I wanted to call my sister and talk to her about it. I wanted to send an email to the teacher and ask her if she could please calmly discuss this matter with the child herself. I know I have no authority to step in on this. I have no place telling the child I feel that he should REALLY have said he was sorry. I don't know if doing one or ANY of those things would have helped me to feel better.

The blogging helps, though. At least I can get my thoughts about this off my chest and not keep them all bottled up.

UPDATE: Some time after I made this blog post, I had to drop something off at my daughter's school. While I was there, I talked with the teacher about this and expressed my concerns. She said that after I left, she talked to the students involved. The little boy is okay and thank God for that! The one who did the pushing apologized for it and everything is A-OK once again. Boys will just be boys sometimes. (I'm going to have to remember that now that I have a boy myself!) I guess I overreacted to the whole thing but it was an alarming thing to see. I love children and don't want to see them getting hurt like that. The school IS a good school and I adore the staff. This blog post in no way is meant to reflect anything otherwise.