Mother's Day 2016

My Mother’s Day got off to a bad start. Yesterday, I’d been dealing with allergies really bad. Sneezing, watery and itchy eyes, stuffy nose. I stupidly did not take any medicine for it, figuring I would tough it out. Well, I ended up paying the price for that kind of thinking when I woke up at 3:30 a.m., sneezing my head off. My eyes were watery and itchy again, too. I finally got out of bed at 4 and took Benadryl. That helped a lot and I was able to go back to sleep. But when I woke up this morning, at 10, my eyes were bad again. They were REALLY bad. They were itchy and watery. I ended up rubbing them so bad that it got to a point where I could barely open my eyes. I was angry and frustrated because I had woken up with ideas for things to write in one of my current books, but I couldn’t write it. I couldn’t even see! So my husband gave me eye drops and I lied down to rest for a while, hoping they would work. Meanwhile, I also prayed for relief. I really didn’t want to spend Mother’s Day being blind! (No offense to the blind moms out there.) Finally, after a while, I was able to open my eyes again and they were cleared up. I was able to see clearly again! Yay!

I was so glad that I would be able to enjoy Mother’s Day after all.

I had these gifts waiting for me on the table. They were from my husband.

Jesse made me a pancake for breakfast and Jennifer cooked me an egg. (I had told the kids that I don’t like eating breakfast in bed. I’d rather eat it at the table. Sometimes I also eat at the kitchen counter.)

Then I got their gifts. Jesse gave me his gifts first. It was a vanilla scented candle and a sweet “box filled with love” that he had made at school. I will always cherish this!!

After I got out of the shower, Jennifer had her gift for me spread out on the bed. Two novels, a picture frame, bird figurine, a candle, chocolates and a homemade card. It was quite a spread! A close-up of her card is pictured at top. Here is a pic of her gifts on my bed.

I was very happy with all of my gifts. Also today, we went to IHOP for lunch (what we do for every Mother’s Day) then we did a bit of shopping, got Blizzards from Dairy Queen, then I came home to watch the movie Elizabethtown, one of my favorite movies. I also enjoyed a piece of carrot cake.

And of course there were lots of love, hugs and joy shared today with my kids.

It’s been a great Mother’s Day and I’m so blessed to have two wonderful, thoughtful, beautiful and amazing kids in my life. I am so grateful for my kids! They mean the world to me. My kids always have and always will come first in my life. I would do anything to make them happy. I love them to the moon and back! I am so grateful for them and grateful to my husband for them. Most of all, I am grateful to be spending Mother’s Day with my children.

Mother's Day

Even before today arrived, I knew it was going to be difficult. Today was the first Mother’s Day since my mother passed away last year. So for a few days now, and especially today, I kept thinking about Mother’s Day last year. I tried looking in my journal to see what I’d written on that day, but alas, I hadn’t written anything down. But I remember it so clearly: Last year, on Mother’s Day, I called Mom on the phone. Miraculously, I was able to get through to her – right before she was headed out the door, in fact. I am still so grateful I caught her on the phone when I did. I was also thankful that it was a good day for her: No trip to the hospital, no pain she was complaining about and nothing dramatic going on. Actually, she sounded happy. I was able to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day and she wished me one, too. Then she had to go; she was on her way to a Mother’s Day brunch and to have her picture taken.

I thought about that a lot today. I missed Mother’s Day brunches with my mom like we used to have. When we all lived together, my sisters, sister-in-law, myself and my mom all got together for a nice meal. It was always a happy day for all of us mothers gathering together and celebrating motherhood.

Ever since I moved to Oregon, though, that hasn’t happened for me again. I don’t get together with other moms for brunch – or even lunch. I celebrate Mother’s Day with my husband and children.

And even though I did get a little sad today because of how it was the first Mother’s Day since my mother died, it was still a good day. My children brightened my heart when they came bounding onto my bed this morning, tackling me with hugs, smothering me with kisses and wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day. I hugged those kids extra tight, telling them how much I love them and that if it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be a mom!

Also, my husband made breakfast, exactly what I had a hankering for (scrambled eggs and toast) and they gave me their gifts, too. I got a gift card to the bookstore, a plaque Jesse made, cards and a beautiful orchid.

This was my “day off” with hubby doing all the housework and he even made dinner. Had my picture taken with the kids and we sat together on the couch watching TV. It was such a nice day today and I felt so blessed.

I also had some time to relax in bed today as well as have some time to read. I also made sure to wish other moms Happy Mother’s Day on Facebook and through texts. My phone acted iffy today so I was only able to post on so many profiles before it decided it didn’t want me to use Facebook anymore.

Today was not as bad as I thought it would be. It helped to have my children with me for Mother’s Day. And, in a way, I think my mom might’ve been with us today, too. Even just for a little while.

Fantasy vs. reality

Yeah, I had one of those days today....

The fantasy:

My child and I will climb into the car and be on our merry way to run errands.

The reality:

Child gets distracted by picking up seeds off the ground and it takes LOTS of coaxing, distracting and, finally, badgering to get her into the car.

The fantasy:

We are now in our car and can finally, FINALLY be on our merry way.

The reality:

Just before starting the car, I remember the new law about every child under 8 required to ride in a booster seat in the car so FIRST I must unlock car doors, get out of the car, get child's old booster seat out of the back of the car, remove cobwebs from said booster seat and do a spider inspection inside and out, get child out of car, put booster seat in child's seat, ONCE AGAIN coax and plead with child to get back into the car, then struggle with the darn seatbelt refusing to budge so I can buckle child in. THEN we can finally be on our merry way.

The fantasy:

We will do ALL of our errands in one full swoop.

The reality:

Forgot the checkbook so I must run back home to pick it up before we get groceries. (During which time we grab a late lunch, child undresses and declares she's feeling sick, I have to help child feel better, then try to get her dressed and back into the car again.)

The fantasy:

I will take care of something ELSE I have to do while at the bank.

The reality:

Forgot to bring something needed for that something else, so it will again have to wait.

The fantasy:

Child will calmly sit in the seating area, eating her cookie and being a good girl while she waits for Mommy to do her bank stuff.

The reality:

Child happens to have the nickname "Tornado." By the time Mommy finds her after taking care of said bank stuff, she's on the other side of the bank, raiding the snack bar -- in a room with "STAFF ONLY" on the door.

The fantasy:

I will blissfully spend an hour writing while child is at Playland.

The reality:

I end up spending said free hour being distracted by looking at baby clothes, baby books and
other baby stuff.

The fantasy:

I ask some people I know where a good place is to buy a crib and anticipate getting good
recommendations.

The reality:

They all tell me to get one from Goodwill.

But on the plus side, I did manage to get some writing done. :D

It's not just the boys who will be boys anymore

Yesterday my daughter had her friend, who is also a 5-year-old girl, over for a playdate. At one point, I noticed their "playing" got a little out of hand. Translation: They were playing too rough. Instead of playing with dolls and in the makeshift "toy kitchen" set up in the bedroom, they were wrestling on the floor. This wasn't the first time; they've actually done this kind of thing many times before.

One might think this was restlessness at work, but as I quit everything else I was doing to sit on the couch with the newspaper so I could keep a closer eye on them, I couldn't help but wonder if it was my daughter's "tomboy side" shining through. (Before I became pregnant, we'd "play wrestle" on my bed. She'd often bounce on my bed, cry out "let's fight!" and we'd be at it.)

As I watched the girls wrestling, and occasionally called out warnings like "be careful" and "don't put your foot on her throat like that; she'll choke," I started to wonder if my other mom friends with daughters often faced this very same task of worrying over playtime getting too rough. I mean, even after my daughter complained of hurting her wrist (and I told her "don't play too rough"), she went right back into the action all over again.

Of course I can be positive about her having an aggressive side. After all, I know all to well it's a hard world out there and she won't fare very well going into it as a passive, meek little thing everybody pushes around. But I have to wonder also if she's starting to catch on to the many action movies we've watched together where characters like Xena and Lara Croft tackle meanies with fists (and legs) flying and kicking. We'd often cheer them on and say, "She kicked his butt!" I remember reading this magazine article talking about how girls were starting to emulate these positive role models in real life (which is WHY we need to keep having strong female lead characters in movies and TV!) and I wonder if that's starting to rub off on my daughter, too. She may be only 5 years old but, apparently, something has told her that it's GOOD to be physically aggressive and less fearful of a fight (physical or otherwise).

On the other hand, my daughter IS a tomboy, and perhaps maybe that is just part of the "tomboy nature" to wrestle with her friends.

All the same, I realize that the wrestling and rough play can only go so far. I'm against violence period, but I'm not against participating in an activity that challenges physical strength and stamina. This is why I stopped EVERYTHING else to keep a watch over the playing; there's just only so much that's allowed with that kind of activity. I'm still haunted by a newspaper story I read where children were playing and one of them accidentally suffocated because an older child put a pillow over his face and sat on it until he stopped moving. Kids often forget about safety rules when the playing gets too rough and they will also fail to understand just how dangerous or deadly certain activities or things can be. As long as nobody is breaking any legs or trying to pull a cannonball on anyone, though, I have no trouble watching over them while the playing imitates fighting.

It would seem, however, that I am not destined to raise an Amazonian-type of daughter. The girls stopped wrestling to notice I was blowing bubbles. They both tumbled onto the couch, asking for bubblegum. I winced. "This is really hot gum. I don't think you guys will like it."

"I don't care," my daughter's friend said.

My daughter chose the more common negotiating approach: She begged. Folding her hands together in prayer, she whined, "Mama! Mama! PLEEEAAASSSSE?"

I shook my head, getting up from the couch. "All right. If you guys think you can handle it." At least the gum is sugarless, so no guilt pains tugged at me for giving in to their request.

The friend put the gum in her mouth and started chewing. She made a pained face and tears came out of her eyes but she REFUSED to show any signs of weakness as she kept her mouth clamped shut and chewed that spicy gum anyway.

My daughter, on the other hand, proved to be no match for the spicy gum. Not 5 seconds passed after she put it in her mouth that she took off for the trash can.