I can understand how people want to say the right thing, or the appropriate thing, during a conversation with others. I am the same way. Say the right thing and the appropriate thing.
But the thing I think about now is how people tend to say "I'm sorry" once they hear someone is divorced. And once they hear that I am divorced. I realize that with some people, divorce usually involves heartbreak or struggles or hard times. I know this.
But when people say "I'm sorry" to me after I tell them I'm divorced...they don't NEED to. I mean, really. They don't need to say it. I can understand the reason why they would say something like "I'm sorry" after I tell them I'm divorced. But me saying "I'm divorced" is just an answer to their question or to let them know I don't HAVE a husband when they ask "what does your husband do?" or "what does your husband think?" It's not me saying, "Give me your pity. Feel sorry for me. Oh, poor me." I don't want pity. None of it.
Life has been hard going since my divorce, but, you know, we're hanging in there. It's been a HUGE change for me on a personal level, but not in the way that I cry myself to sleep, or anything. You know, I don't cry over it. We were both civil about the whole thing. And even though we tend to get on each other's nerves even still, we are basically civil about it even now. There's no grief. There's no heartbreak. There's no "if only I had" or "if only I could."
There is just the fact that we are divorced. And, that's it. Life goes on. I am moving forward.
I don't want people to say that they are sorry that I am divorced. I don't want them to think I need any pity. I am just taking care of all the things I gotta do now. Sure, life is hard. But, it's JUST life. It's not me wishing it all away or hoping I'll be rescued by some "miracle thing," or whatever. But, you know, I'm getting through it. I've gotten over the pain -- that happened LONG ago. I have none of it remaining within me now.
Now, all I AM doing, is just living life. Picking up all the pieces of this "single life" I have to learn how to live right and just get everything back in order. I AM ready to be with someone new....but that will happen in its own time. I'm not rushing that sort of thing, because I no longer define myself by that sort of thing. If I remarry, then I remarry. If I don't, I don't. If I date someone, I date someone. If I don't, I don't. For the time being, I am just doing what I have to do with life. And I am letting God take the wheel.
My life isn't exactly "right" yet....but, you know. I'm getting there.
And I don't want people saying "I'm sorry" when I tell them I am divorced. Actually, a better thing to say to me would be... "Keep on keepin' on."
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