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Christmas of 2015 was almost a disaster for us. We were hit by two major bills to pay and the second bill took all of our shopping money we had set aside for our two kids. Fortunately, family and friends came to the rescue, giving gifts to us and the children. While I am extremely grateful that our Christmas gift-giving tradition for the children was saved, I resolved that this year would be different. This year I would actually put into action a plan I’d been thinking of using for some time now: Shopping for Christmas all year long.
This kinda idea is not new. I had heard of several families shopping for Christmas all year long in order to ease their financial burden every December. Doing this would also keep them from giving in to the temptation to splurge now and regret it later.
After I made this decision, I put together my strategy. I would buy each child one gift for every month. And, in December, we would also buy their stocking stuffers.
I knew that if I was going to go through with this, I would need to plan ahead. So I decided to enforce a few guidelines to follow:
1. Keep a list of what the kids want on hand. I use the “Memo” feature on my Android phone and this allows me to keep important notes and reminders handy if I ever need them. Last year, the kids put together their Christmas list. We assured them that if they didn’t get all the stuff on that list last year, there was always next year. Now it’s next year! And having their wish list with me makes it easier to figure out what to get them.
2. Don’t put a price limit on all gifts. At first I thought maybe it would be better to put a $20 spending limit on the kids’ gifts, but then I realized that would limit the variety of gifts I could shop for them. I decided to use whatever amount of money I had available for this. At the same time, the amount spent on each gift ended up being slightly different for each child. For one month, for example, each gift cost $30. For another month, one gift that was on the wish list was $25, while the other gift was $13.
3. Don’t try to do this alone. I knew I could not be the only one shopping for the kids. My husband always enjoyed buying them Christmas gifts. So I decided that we could take turns buying their gifts.
4. Keep a list of gifts bought so far. With 12 months of shopping to do, it could very easily happen that I’d end up buying a gift I’d already bought months before. To avoid this, I kept a list of gifts that I bought so far. Of course, I also removed items I got from their wish lists, but I still kept track of everything so I had a good idea of the balance of gifts for each child.
After the year started and this plan was carried out, I began to see just how convenient it was to shop for the kids’ Christmas gifts all year. I knew I would not be able to take advantage of Black Friday deals or huge sales on Christmas Eve since we were already going to have the kids’ Christmas gift shopping done, but that was something I was willing to do without. Also, I could still shop for other family, relatives and friends on Black Friday or Christmas Eve. My daughter took advantage of Black Friday deals, and it was fun to take her shopping.
One thing I didn’t foresee was the possibility of the gifts being stolen. Although we have a neighborhood watchgroup, crime was still pretty bad in my area. (Crime is really bad everywhere during the Christmas season.) I also worried about something disastrous happening that would destroy the gifts, like a fire. I just had to push these fears aside and carry out the plan. Fortunately, nothing happened to them and they were safely stored away until Christmastime.
Another thing I did not expect to happen? Running out of room for the gifts! By October, I had quite the pile of wrapped Christmas presents stored away, but because it was all in a pile, some of the other gifts at the bottom were starting to get crushed.
So I used another storage space for the gifts and that solved that problem.
As the months passed and the gift pile built up, I started to get excited over the prospect of the children enjoying so many Christmas gifts this year. This would be the first Christmas ever that they had so many gifts! I know, it’s only 12 gifts for each child, but that’s still a lot compared to other Christmases. I also felt secure knowing that no matter what financial disaster awaited us in December, our children would still have a nice number of Christmas gifts waiting for them under the tree. (And, fortunately, a financial disaster did not strike during this month. My husband’s truck did break down, but a friend loaned us her vehicle until a he is able to get a new vehicle to drive for work.)
Along the way, I learned a few good tips should I ever decide to do this again:
• Pay attention to what the kids ask for.
If a child mentions he wishes he had a particular toy or if your daughter stares longingly at something in a store and you are not able to buy it for them just yet, add it to the list as a gift to purchase next month. I often mentally added things to the kids’ list as they came out on the market or the kids mentioned that it was something they wanted to have.
• Wrap the gifts as soon as possible.
My kids have a knack for finding gifts I try to hide away. Whether it’s Christmas or a birthday gift, they have a radar that leads them right to it. My son discovered the gift pile of Christmas gifts in March. Fortunately, they were all wrapped, so he wasn’t able to see what they were. If there’s no Christmas wrapping paper, use plain-color wrapping paper available from the dollar store. And on that note…
• Have LOTS of Christmas wrapping paper on hand.
By August, I ran out of Christmas wrapping paper. I had used what rolls of wrapping paper we had left from last year but it had not lasted for all 12 gifts. So just as soon as it was available again, I was sure to buy some extra rolls of Christmas wrapping paper!
• And have extra boxes on hand, too!
Because we often order online, we had a nice supply of small boxes available to wrap gifts in. For one gift, however, I had a hard time finding a box to wrap it in! I ended up taping two boxes together to “make” a box for it. (I also had to get creative in using a side of a cardboard box to make a box for my sister’s Christmas gift, too.) Many gifts had their own packaging, but for things like stuffed animals or art supplies, it’s a good idea to have a box to put them in!
• Be flexible with gift expenses.
While it would be nice to be able to buy the kids an expensive gift every month of the year, our budget just doesn’t allow for that kind of thing. For a long time, we were really struggling. But as long as I was able to buy them a gift – even if it was just a $5 gift – then at least I had something. One month, I was able to spend $30 on each gift. Another month, I only had $20 available for their gifts, meaning a $10 gift for each of them. That’s just the way it is. (And here is a perfect example of why yearlong Christmas shopping is a great idea: It helps alleviate the financial burden and stress of shopping for more than one child in just one month.)
• Be firm about saving the gifts for Christmas.
As mentioned earlier, my son discovered the hidden gift pile before Christmas got here. He got so excited that he wanted to open the gifts right then and there. While I almost gave in to that request because I knew how happy the gifts would make him, I had to check myself and practice some restraint. I had to tell my son that these were Christmas gifts and that if he was patient, he would have 12 Christmas presents waiting for him under the tree on Christmas morning. If he opened them now, he wouldn’t have so many gifts. He was not happy about not getting something clearly with his name on it, but in the end decided that it would be worth the wait. (And it was!)
• Hold on to receipts
I saved all of the receipts in case something had to be returned. I also occasionally kept tabs on how much was spent on gifts each month. (If I do this again, I will want to keep track of the cost to get a better idea of how much was spent on their Christmas presents. The receipts could be used for this purpose, as well.)
This was also a challenging experiment because, sometimes, I really had to weigh which gift a child wanted the most out of all the others on the list. I wanted to get them the items that were super-important to them, and not just another thing they “wanted” to own. The gifts had to have value, so I had to be selective in ensuring they got something they really, really wanted.
Also, some of the items on their wish list were expensive. For example, my daughter really wanted a book that was a collector’s item. Unfortunately, despite my search across the Internet, I could not find a copy of the book for under $80. That was a little outside of my budget. My husband suggested I just save the money I would have spent on a gift for one month and add it to next month’s so that I could get her the book, but that meant veering off course from buying the kids a Christmas present for every month of the year. And that was my plan! That was the whole reason I started doing this. Just one Christmas gift a month for each child. So I stuck to my plan, even if it meant I could not buy the expensive things. But maybe I’ll take his suggestion into serious consideration for next year, since my son also has some expensive items on his wish list as well.
And, finally, this was not just something I did for the kids. For four months out of the 12, I also bought my husband a Christmas present. He was just as excited to get more than one gift from me as the kids were to get 12 gifts from their parents.
This was a fun challenge and quite an interesting shopping experience. It definitely made some extra money available for one very special gift in December (my son got a new bike and my daughter got a portable DVD player – expensive gifts we might not have been able to get them if we also had to buy a few other Christmas presents for them). The extra money also meant we were able to get gifts for family members too – something else we often struggled with.
The question remains, though: Is this a frugal method of Christmas shopping? It can be. You don’t need to spend a lot of money on Christmas presents. Also, shopping for Christmas all year long also means saving money up for expensive gifts, which would make the gift-giving experience all the more awesome for a child. It could also work as a way to get one special gift for someone in the whole family during the whole year or even making something for each family member in the months leading up to Christmas.
I am still not sure if I’ll be doing this again next year, or even if I’ll do this again in a different way. The kids had a lot of fun counting off each gift they opened and they were, of course, very excited about the prospect of opening 12 gifts on Christmas morning. We will see if I do this again next year or if it will be our thing now. But it was definitely a fun thing to do the first time around and I am glad we did it.
Yesterday, I read on my friend’s Facebook page about how she didn’t take any pictures on Thanksgiving because she was too busy cooking and enjoying the day with her family. That was me on Thanksgiving, minus the “too busy cooking” part because my husband was cooking, too. (We had a really nice and blessed Thanksgiving!) And that was me again yesterday, on Black Friday! (Also minus the "busy cooking" part, because the only thing I cooked yesterday was rice!)
Now I normally don’t do Black Friday, because I prefer to shop online. I know, I know. I should support local businesses. But I hate going out and being around a bunch of strangers, dealing with traffic and dealing with the crowds. (And I guess long lines, too! My husband was going to buy something at Best Buy that was on sale for a really good price on Thanksgiving, in the afternoon, but when he got there, there was a looooong line stretching all the way to another store!) That’s pretty much why I stopped doing Black Friday on my own. But this year, my daughter wanted to go shopping on Black Friday. At 15, it would be her first Black Friday experience! So I agreed to take her shopping on Black Friday. I am not doing anymore Christmas shopping for the kids, as I have been doing Christmas shopping for them all year long and my husband is getting their December gifts, so I’m done shopping for them. But I DO need two more gifts for two other people, so I made a mental note to keep my eyes peeled for those things. (I’ll be sharing my experience of Christmas shopping for the kids all year long shortly after Christmas. It was the first time I have ever done this!)
So, we decided to plan for it. We got a newspaper on Thanksgiving that had all the Black Friday ads in it and went over which stores we would go to. I told Jen we would have to leave really early. Like at around 5. (Most of the stores we wanted to go to were opening at 6.) I warned Jen about the long lines and that some people might go crazy while they are shopping, grabbing things and pushing people around to get through. There might also be some trampling as some people got through the doors finally opening. (Yet another reason why I don't like shopping on Black Friday!) Jen was nervous about this but we figured we would be okay. We figured out what time we should go to bed on Thanksgiving in order to get a sufficient amount of sleep and I decided on 10 for me, to wake up at 4.
But what happened was, I woke up at 3! I actually woke up from a bad dream and decided that it was probably better to stay up now, because if I went back to sleep, I might end up being too tired to get up when my alarm went off at 4. I was wide awake at 3 a.m., anyway (this actually happens a lot!), so I decided to just stay up. I was in the shower by 4 and tried to wake Jen up at 4:30, but she wouldn’t wake up. When she DID wake up, she told me she didn’t want to do Black Friday this year and I said that was fine, we can just go out to breakfast like we usually do every day after Thanksgiving. She went back to sleep and I headed out to the couch to watch Star Trek. But later, I fell asleep. When I woke up an hour later, Jesse was awake and playing computer games at the desk.
So Jen and I went out for our annual “Black Friday breakfast” (too bad restaurants don’t have Black Friday deals, too!). I usually get coffee with my breakfast, but this time, I ordered hot chocolate, just like Jen did. It was very good! As we ate breakfast, Jen asked if some stores would still be doing Black Friday sales. I told her that some of them probably were. We both knew all the good stuff would probably be gone, but hopefully there were still some sales going on. So it was decided that we would still hit some stores!
I got my husband some breakfast to go from the restaurant and went home to drop it off. I told him about our changed plans and so Jen and I headed out again. The first store we went to was Target, and while a lot of stuff was indeed gone, Jennifer still found some good deals. She was VERY happy with what she was able to buy at Target! Then we stopped off at home so that I could grab some more coffee and she could drop off her purchases. Next we headed out to Barnes & Noble and Jen found a good book to buy there, too – plus, B&N was still offering 30% off purchases! Sweet! That extra money we saved went towards the kids getting hot chocolate from Starbucks on the way home. (I ordered one for Jesse and took it home to him.) That was the second time Jen got hot chocolate that day – and I also had a second hot chocolate later on, when I made some in the kitchen. (Jesse also had a second serving of hot chocolate right along with me.)
In all, my daughter and I had a good, enjoyable and PEACEFUL Black Friday experience. I am glad my daughter’s first Black Friday was a successful and injury-free one. And I am glad that stores still had Black Friday deals and specials going on later in the day. If stores continue to offer Black Friday deals later in the day, I just might change my mind about not shopping on Black Friday!
Jen and I also had a really pleasant time together. I really enjoyed the mother-daughter time I had with Jen when we went out for breakfast and while we were shopping. (And the ONLY pic that I took and shared from that day was of what I ordered for breakfast at Ye Olde Pancake House!) Jen later said that she felt bad for not getting up so early and she apologized to me because I got up so early just so I could get her up so early, but I told her it was okay. I had some alone time, and that was really nice. (It really was! I got to enjoy my first cup of coffee, read, get on Twitter, and watch Star Trek while I was at the desk, tweeking a new book outline. I should get up at 3 a.m. more often. LOL)
The rest of the day was a good one, too. I chatted with my sister through text messaging, did some more reading, finished writing that week's short story, spent time on Facebook and ate some of the Thanksgiving leftovers (like pie!). We also watched National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation and started planning for when we would do Christmas decorating. (It’s not happening this weekend! Foo!) So it was a good day and I am glad that it all went well.
If there is one thing I have learned this year, it is this: Just because I have been doing something the same way for so long, that doesn’t mean I must always do it that way. No, there has to be room for trying something new. For growth and learning. For “thinking outside the box.” Something happened a few days before Christmas that made me realize that maybe the same old method of Christmas shopping for my kids just isn’t a good system to rely on anymore.
What we usually do when Christmas shopping for the kids is I get them a few things earlier in the month – usually on Cyber Monday, since I prefer to shop online, but I also did something different in that regard this year. But, yeah, I usually get them a few things. Then, later on in December, my husband buys the rest of their Christmas gifts. (It’s pretty cool that we take turns with it!) But this year, he wanted the kids to have a more “memorable” Christmas. He suggested I buy them one “big” gift and he’ll get a couple of other “big” gifts too. No little gifts like pajamas or books or stuff like that. He wanted it to be different this year. So I agreed to it and bought the kids their most-asked-for (AKA "the items they’ve been bugging me to get them all year") gifts, along with a stocking stuffer. Little did we know that this Christmas was definitely going to be a memorable one, and that was NOT going to be based on the gifts they found under the tree!
Let’s stop for a minute to cover how my Christmas shopping experience went. And let me first say that I’m a bargain hunter! If I can score a good deal on an expensive item, then I’m all over that!
First, I waited for the right day. Since most of the shopping I was planning to do was online, I waited for Cyber Monday to shop for Christmas. It was worth the wait: Not only was an item marked down 50% but I also got FREE SHIPPING -- a perk many online retailers were providing on Cyber Monday.
I also comparison shopped. One way to find the best deals on the items I was planning to buy was by comparison shopping. I check prices on an item at different stores. I also kept an eye out for any coupons or "bonus savings" being offered on an item. For one Christmas present I bought, I noticed a site was offering it at a 20% discount price. I checked a store where I could buy it locally and it was being sold at full price BUT if I bought the item through the store's website (Barnes & Noble), it was on sale for 50% off! That's a nice slice of awesome!
Another thing is I didn't settle. There was one item I wanted to buy for my son this year that was something I was NOT ready to forget about. It was really bugging me to get this thing for him. The problem is, I had a hard time finding it at a price I could afford. Although it's an old item, ordering it from Amazon or Barnes & Noble meant getting a shipping cost that was MORE than the item price! Not cool! I didn't want to pay an arm and a leg for shipping. I was willing to pay a reasonable price but not pay more for shipping than the product price! So I kept looking. I decided to hit local stores. Unfortunately, none of them had it. BUT, when I went to Target.com, I was able to buy this item from the website. Awesome Thing #1: It was at a discount price. Awesome Thing #2: Ordering from the site meant FREE SHIPPING! Yay! If I drove to another town to get this item from a Target store, it would cost more than the price on the website. But ordering it from the site meant a lower price AND free shipping! I was stoked to come across this and it was definitely worth the extra time it took to find a deal that I was happy with.
Okay, now, back to what happened a few days before Christmas.
Gee, I thought getting hit by the cable company was bad! We got hit by another company with an even larger bill to pay…three days before Christmas. We could NOT get an extension on this bill. We were forced to pay it. And the amount that we paid was almost all of the money we had for our kids’ Christmas presents as well as groceries for next week. So we were looking at not being able to get the kids anything else for Christmas. They had 1 present from Mom and Dad under their tree (along with a gift they got each other, as well as gifts from family friends).
This was really depressing. I was SO upset! That stupid company ruined my kids’ Christmas!
I shared about this on Facebook. I had felt so down and out about it that I even said I had lost faith in the spirit of helping others. I mean, why would people DO that? They were right up there with people who break into houses on Christmas Eve and steal all the presents! They were right up there with the Grinch!
I have some AMAZING friends and relatives who took the time to offer support and some suggestions on Facebook on how to turn this thing around. A lot of people I know have been in just such a situation before and they shared some really helpful information on how to handle this. My kids have never been in this situation. There was always more than one Christmas gift from Mom and Dad under the tree. So I didn’t know how to handle it. How to talk to them about it or what to do to make our Christmas happy despite this setback. I mean, even with 7 kids, my parents STILL managed to get us all more than one Christmas present every Christmas! I remember that some years, we even had a family sponsor us and get us all gifts for Christmas! Heck, a whole fire department did, one year! And when Jennifer and I were on our own and I was struggling to put food on the table, I still got her more than one Christmas present that year, because I worked as a babysitter and cleaning a friend’s house! This kinda situation was completely new for me. It wasn’t new for my husband – he comes from a family of 6 kids and he’s been there – but I really didn’t know what to do. So all of those comments and messages from people REALLY helped a lot. I soon had a plan on things we could do to make the day bright all the same.
But I think God had another idea. And I think I have God to thank for what happened because, on that night, when I was feeling so low about all of this, I did what I usually do during my darkest times: I prayed. As I prayed, I acknowledged that Christmas is not all about gifts. And I understood that this was a good opportunity for my kids to appreciate that Christmas is so much more than about getting presents. But I said, you know, it would still be nice if they had more than one gift from Mom and Dad. And I just gave the whole mess over to God. I asked Him for help and guidance and just the strength to get through this.
After that, I felt a little better. One thing I kept thinking about that night, though, was the movie A Christmas Carol. The version with Patrick Stewart is my favorite, and it’s the one we own. I remembered in that movie how the Cratchit family enjoyed Christmas despite having nothing. The savvy Mrs. Cratchit still managed to get the family a goose for their Christmas dinner, and we at least had a nice ham for our Christmas dinner. The family was all together for Christmas and WE were all together for Christmas. The family sat together on Christmas Day feeling blessed to have each other and appreciating the little things. And we would do that, too! And at least the kids still got to make and decorate gingerbread men just like they do every Christmas. And we also had a Christmas breakfast of cinnamon rolls to look forward to with our usual movie of A Christmas Story. So some of the usual traditions were with us despite the lack of gifts.
But then something pretty awesome happened. And I’m starting to think that my saying “yes” to this very first thing is what allowed the other awesome things to come our way.
One of my fellow GSP authors saw my Facebook post and contacted me. He wanted to be a “secret Santa” and give us an Amazon gift certificate so we could get the kids another gift. At first, I was not sure about accepting his gift. Usually, I have this whole “We can take care of ourselves and we don’t NEED any help!” kinda attitude. I’m all for being self- sufficient! And, anyway, I didn’t post that on Facebook hoping someone would step up and help us out. I needed ideas on what to do! But I had a strong feeling that I should accept his gift. He wanted to do something nice for our kids. And I didn’t want to hurt his feelings by turning him away. So I accepted the gift from him and his wife. I used it to get the kids yet another thing they had on their Christmas list. (Thanks, Paul and Dorothy!)
And I think that by being open to someone’s kindness and generosity, it allowed for the other things to happen, too.
One of my sisters also heard about what happened. She knew I was really upset. So she and my sister-in-law (her partner) sent us a gift basket. I was so surprised when I opened the door and saw the delivery lady there with that gift. At first, I thought they had the wrong house! I even looked at the label, saw my name, and said, “That’s me.” Wow! I was really touched. The gift basket was filled with goodies, too. Turns out Jen knew about the surprise and made sure I was at the door to receive it. What a lovely gesture! I was so touched, I had tears in my eyes. (Thanks, Millie and Allison!)
Then we got another surprise gift. Soon enough, there was someone else at our door: One of my daughter’s best friends. She had a Christmas gift for my daughter – and a family gift for us, too! How nice! I was surprised and also very touched. I ran outside and, despite the rain, went to my friend who was in her car and hugged her, thanking her for the gift and wishing them all a Merry Christmas. (Thanks, Kim!)
Then another awesome thing happened, too. My husband was able to sell something and he now had a good amount of money available to buy our kids another Christmas present! He actually got them each 2 other gifts. And he was able to get me something, too! (I had already bought his gift earlier in the month.) So I was very happy that happened and what wonderful timing for it, too! Lots of stores were having sales on Christmas Eve, which made it lots easier for him to get stuff. (Thanks, Mr. Buyer!)
So Christmas was saved for us, after all. I consider this to be our “Christmas miracle.” It was certainly a time when my prayer was answered and we learned just how much we are loved by certain people in our lives. This has helped us to appreciate our friends and family all the more and be very grateful for when we are blessed in such an amazing way. I certainly feel that these things happened for a reason and I know that the true value of these blessings should be cherished and remembered. In the past, I have helped other families who have struggled with Christmas, and it was nice to be on the receiving end of that help this year. People really came through for us and we are grateful to them all. I am also grateful to another family friend who stopped by on Christmas Day with more gifts!
As to changes to our routine, I have decided to move forward in shopping for Christmas all year long, and not just in December. That way, we can avoid financial hits like we had this year. (I guess I shouldn’t be surprised we had TWO financial hits in December this year. This year has been awful!) Also, I am DEFINITELY going to make sure we have a savings account next year. As it is, we have no savings! But next year is THE year we create our savings so we can have something to fall back on in the event of another financial disruption.
This year’s Christmas was amazing and we were definitely blessed. I hope that by next Christmas, I can spread that sort of feeling to another family, too. Because it’s a great feeling!
My plan for today was to take my kids Christmas shopping. I figured we’d go to one store, they’d buy a gift for their dad, then we’d go home.
But something else entirely ended up happening!
As I was driving them through the terrible rainy weather we had today, Jen let me know she was not just planning to shop for her dad today. She also planned on shopping for her friends. I knew she wanted to shop for her friends this weekend, because the next week is her last week of school before Winter Break and she wanted time to be able to give her friends her gifts at school, but I had not expected it to take place on this trip.
Well, it did. And we ended up going to more than one store!
In fact, we ended up shopping at 4 different stores.
Jumping in and out of my car in the downpour then appearing at the store entrance drenched from the rain was a real hassle. But it’s not anything unexpected when it comes to Christmas shopping. For some reason, whenever we go Christmas shopping, it’s raining! (Which is why I prefer to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. No fun driving around in the rain or snow!) At one point, after I got into the car at store #3 once again soaked from the rain, I joked, "What does this remind me of? Oh, yeah. Christmas shopping LAST year!"
Then there was the nice little adventure of finding a place to park. That, too, was a hassle, but we got through it without incident.
Even so, we did have a nice time with their Christmas shopping. I had to remind Jen to keep track of her expenses so that she would not go broke before getting all the gifts she needed. I was also sure to remind her to look for deals on items and try to find something that seemed like the “right” gift for that person. She wanted to buy 2 gifts for 1 friend but I told her I didn’t think that was a good idea because it wasn’t fair if she got 1 friend 2 gifts and everybody else 1 gift.
As to Jesse, he was shopping for his dad as well as his teacher. Fortunately, with the little money he had saved up from collecting cans earlier this year, he was able to get both gifts with some money left over. He’ll be using that to buy a gift for his sister. (I consulted with each of them in private to figure out what they wanted to buy each other and plan to take care of that tomorrow.)
After we got home, they got busy wrapping the gifts and they now have them ready to take to school on Monday. Their gifts for their dad are wrapped and under our tree.
I may take them out shopping again tomorrow, but I also think it might be better if Jen goes with her dad tomorrow (since she still has to get her gift for me) and I just take Jesse to get his sister’s gift. At least that way, it’s only one stop for shopping – and this time for sure!
Something very interesting happened today. I ended up getting two answers to two things I've been thinking about! Very cool!
The first thing I was thinking about was a little talk I had with hubby yesterday. I'd related to him that I'm unhappy about a few things and he wanted to know what those few things were. One of the things that's been bothering me is how I'm not as successful with freelance writing as I would like to be. I wish I could break into those glossies, but after over a decade of working as a writer, it just hasn't happened. And I'm beginning to wonder if it will ever happen at all. (I've gotten a few rejections from the glossies, as well as zero responses from others.) And I'm tired of working for peanuts, which is what I label what I'm paid for one particular writing gig I have. It's just unfair. I put so much into it and get so little in return.
That got hubby started on how he, too, was frustrated with my ongoing attempts to get...SOMEWHERE with the freelance writing, and not making as much progress (read: money) at all. One of the things he said was, "I don't know why you write."
I'll admit, I started getting a little defensive at that point. I wanted to stress to him I was talking bout my failures as a freelance writer, not as a writer. With the books, I have no complaint. The books are where my heart is with the writing. And I do THAT because I want to.
Later, I was stewing over that little comment of his. I was angrily stomping around the house, wanting to scream, "What do you want me to do all day? Watch TV??" But, I kept my anger under control. He's not a writer, I told myself. He doesn't get it what it means to be a writer. He doesn't understand that drive to write, that NEED to write, the neverending impulse to create something with words.
Honestly, I tried to evaluate what I would be like if I was not a writer. If I didn't write the words and ideas which burned in my soul. But I really could not picture my life without any writing. I write because...it's what I want to do. And maybe I was beginning to lose sight of that. I don't know, maybe I was losing sight of WHY I write: I'm a dreamer who dreams. I'm a storyteller. An entertainer. A creator of worlds, weaver of words. It's just who I am.
But I still wondered...could I ever give up writing? Would I ever give up that part of me and be the wife that hubby wants instead? The kind of wife with no hobbies, interests or dreams?
It was pretty hard to fathom.
At one point in my day, as I was cleaning the living room, I came across something on the floor. A tiny black thing. I knelt down to turn it over and it had the word "dream" on it. It was a magnet from the poetry magnet set I have in my closet.
Yes. In my CLOSET! I have those magnets in a box in my closet! Save a few, that I have on one of Jen's pictures. But how in the world did THAT end up there?? Jen hadn't gotten into that box and neither had the baby. And I didn't have it on any of my pictures, even in that room.
So, outside of the VERY slim possibility that one of the kids dropped it, I took this as a sign. It was a message to me. A message to always dream. Dare to dream! Never stop dreaming!
I smiled, comforted by this message. It was like receiving permission to continue with my writing. To dream up new stories and write about them. I won't let what others say stop me, or even my inability to be a "famous" writer or the kind of writer who earns a $1,000 check for an article stop me from dreaming my dreams. I have and always will be a dreamer. And I will continue to dream, with words.
Now....as to the second sign I received today. This one is not so glamorous. But still interesting.
I recently bought Jesse a Star Trek onesie as a Christmas gift. At first, I thought I'd buy 2, because I couldn't decide on the color: Red for Engineering (Mr. Scott) or Blue for Science (Mr. Spock). I eventually decided to buy him the Engineering onesie. It just seemed to fit him best. Later, though, I thought, should I have bought an extra? In case one is ruined? After all, a baby that makes messes will be wearing it! And it is a one-of-a-kind onesie.
So I decided, yes! I'll get him another one! Just in case.
But which color? The gold one, for Command? Or blue? Or another red? Hm, decisions, decisions.
I got my answer, though, when I gave up thinking about this and instead focused my attention on the baby. I smiled at him and signed, "I love you."
Believe it or not, he signed back the Vulcan sign! I kid you not! I had to look good and hard at that little hand making that sign, because I couldn't believe my eyes!! WOW!
He has tried to imitate the "I love you" sign for some time. He hasn't been very successful, though he has gotten close. I think it's so neat he made the Vulcan sign, but also that it's a sign for something else. A sign to definitely get him the blue Star Trek onesie.
I laughed as I nodded back at him and said, "Live long and prosper."
Every year, the national cosmetics retailer, Avon, Inc., creates specials and events to benefit breast cancer research and awareness. One of the things they are doing this year is offering the very nifty and pretty Avon Crusade Tote. Designed by Maimekko, this handy tote can be yours for only $10. So why not buy a new bag for a cause?
The new Avon Crusade Tote is only $10 and 100% of the net profits will be donated to the Avon Breast Cancer Crusade.
Check it out here: Avon Crusade Tote
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