Sunday, September 24, 2006

Late-night chatting goodness

The weekends my daughter is gone are rough. REALLY hard for me. Which is why I will use WHATEVER I can to keep my mind off of her being gone.

Both Friday and Saturday nights, it was a chat that helped do this. On Friday, I was online A LOT because I couldn't really go anywhere or do anything. I ended up chatting with 7 different people on Friday alone! I've been chatting with this person online, who is also deaf so sometimes we talk about things relating to being deaf. The thing of it is, I have NEVER met him in real life. But we chat online a lot. We'll chat for several hours!! So we were chatting into the late hours of both Friday and Saturday nights. And....I didn't miss my daughter as much as I have before. This weekend was easier for me to get through, because I DID have something keeping me distracted.

Best of all, I got enough sleep, on BOTH nights. Sure we chatted til like 1 or 2 a.m., but I slept in on both Saturday and Sunday mornings.

The days are not as hard as the nights. But, still, today DID get difficult for me. During our chat, I happened to say the movie quote "swing away" as a joke and that reminded me of my daughter. She LOVES the movie SIGNS and she always says "swing away" when I am about to put that movie on for her. So when I said "swing away" in our chat, I started to cry and mumble, "I miss mah baby." :( I just REALLY cracked right then and there.

So, okay. The chatting distraction was starting to fade. I had to do something else. Something that got me MOVING.

So I went for a walk. A LONG walk. I just walked and walked and walked. I looked around at everything, taking in the beautiful, 80-degree weather, looking at people riding their bikes or walking their dogs, checking out buildings and locations I hadn't seen before. I even took "the road less traveled" and found a big beautiful playground where couples sat on benches, boys played soccer and children played on swings. The sight of the playground was almost eutopic. Just BEAUTIFUL. I became excited because now I finally had a large close park to take my daughter to. Best of all, it had a BASKETBALL COURT!! (Oh, be steady, my heart!)

I hurried home, anxious to tell Jennifer all about it. And after that hour-long walk, when I finally got back home and came through the door, my baby hopped off the kitchen table chair and ran into my arms.

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