First off, I want to thank some of the family members who took the time to look at the preliminary web site put together for the haunted houses book. I am REALLY excited about this book coming out. This is a REALLY big thing for me!! Finally, after ALL of those years of work, research and e-mail tagging, the book will FINALLY be published. I will FINALLY hold this book in my hands!! It really means a lot to me and I know it means a lot to my co-author, too. So thank you, family, for all of your support about this book.
You. Guys. Rock!
Now I need to rant a bit. Sorry, but I REALLY need to get something off of my chest.
While people in the family are checking out the site, my husband is not. Yep, my own husband doesn't give a crap about it. He doesn't ask about the book or anything. You know? And it hurts my feelings.
Well, some other issue gets me upset about this. See, he is SOOOO devoted to a friend of his out here. The same guy who got him the job that he moved us out here for. He spends HOURS at this guy's house, with this guy's family -- even on weekends. Leaving us alone. I try asking him, why can't we go, too? How come we're not invited? And he says we just wouldn't like it there or that we'll get bored.
Hey, at least we'd all be together! Right??
But the thing about this is, he's doing work with this guy. And of course, that means literally more hours away from us. He's been creating web sites for this friend of his and working ALL of the time to do what his friend wants. First thing he does when he gets up in the morning? He checks his phone for messages! Sometimes, it's like he even forgets we are even there....
So he's doing all that and ALWAYS checking his emails for emails from his friend...but there's nothing with us. And, you know, he hasn't bothered to look at the site yet.
I guess I'm really starting to feel resentful. I started feeling neglected and unloved a LONG time ago. Especially after he spent weeks not sleeping in the same bed as me. And even still, even when not doing some other job for this guy, he falls asleep on the couch. And I've been sleeping alone.
So I'm just really upset about this. I wanna say things like "well, maybe if I asked (the friend) to send you the link, you'd look at it!" or "I guess you just don't care!" I just really want to blow up at him about it.
This friend has my husband by the balls and he doesn't even know it! Maybe that's why hubby is so against us moving back to California. He wants to stay here in Oregon, close to his good buddy. (And just for the record, this friend is NOT my good buddy.) Maybe it's NOT a money thing or "life is better here" kind of thing. You know? He could be offered a job in Florida that pays him a million bucks a year and I bet he'd turn it down!
I was watching Trading Spouses today and it had Palm Springs in it. My heart just ached. God, I miss Palm Springs!! How I long to go back to that area. Just to live there again. Enjoy that beautiful sunshine, see those beautiful mountains. I miss my mountains. *sniff* I swear, if I was able to, I would move to Palm Springs in a heartbeat. And STAY THERE. At least we could visit with Millie and Allison again....and I wouldn't feel so lonely for company.
OK, so I just needed to get that off my chest. I just needed to rant. I'll get over it. I have had to get over a whole lot of things lately. But don't be surprised if you hear about us seeing a marriage counselor or something like that later on down the road.
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5 comments:
oh i havent seen the website yet, did you post a link somewhere?
Sorry to hear hubby is less than interested. I wonder if maybe your success makes him a little bit nervous and he doesnt want to acknowledge it. He may simply be one of those people who are afraid to say "hey thats great" for fear that more great things will not come if they say that. My MIL is like that.
Well men are men and sometimes they are just always wrong! If I were you I would tell him directly because men are sometimes so dense, just say "your opinion on my website is really important to me, in fact your opinion is the most important to me. Could you look and tell me what you think?" Also my hubby would be more inclined to look if I phrased all this as a favor he would be doing me, or that I need him to save me somehow! Ha ha Seriously, like "I'm not sure this website is right, I dont know if it is representing my book well. I need you to help me!" Then he may come running. Or find some psuedo "problem" with the website you need help with. While he may not be interested in the content, his helping you proves his love, I think. :-)
Well, that's an interesting point. I don't know if I could "pull that off" though. LOL The thing you make me think about is how he feels with this book. He doesn't like it if I make more money than him and maybe he's worried I'll be making a crapload of money now. After we remarried, he kept boasting of how he makes more money than I do. WHATEVER! I did talk to him about this, though. He denies that anything is wrong. And you know, it wouldn't bother me so much if he didn't sleep on the couch so much. Seriously, what's up with that?? Miraculously, he slept in our bed last night, with me in that bed too for a change, but we'll see what else comes up. I'm going to just focus on my own thing and let him do his thing.
And, oh, the site was in the building stages at the time I shared the link with family. I've got the go-ahead to announce it now and I'll do that really soon. Thanks for the interest! :) You can also find the book and info on the publisher's web site.
I do agree with the confront-it-head-on advice that Nancy gave. Men are dense, and do NOT take hints, EVER. You have to ask them specifically what you would like them to do. "Hey, my family is all looking at this book site, and it hurts me that you haven't checked it out." or "This site is really important to me, and I'd like you to look at it and tell me what you think. "
The not sleeping in your bed thing? And the codependant relationship with his friend? I highly recommend marital counseling... the longer you let things go on, the more hurt and resentment and guilt you will have to deal with when you DO take that step. I can't think of a tactful way to address either of those issues to your husband... "HEY, stop being such a freakin douchebag!" or "Hey! Your head seems to be permanently lodged up your friends butt! Don't you think that might be problematic?" both seem to be rather... antagonistic. :o)
Seriously though, if you really love him, and want your relationship to work... you need help.
By the way, where is this website?
Ever since I've confronted him about this, he's been moody, angry and negative. Especially towards me. I'm worried about the kind of atmosphere this is creating for the children. The oldest has already been through so much. There are many times his moodiness and negativity has made her cry. I don't know what to do. I'm kinda scared to owe up to what I MUST do but whatever it takes to make life good for my children is the thing I will choose to do. They are #1 with me.
I'll announce the site on my MySpace blog. :)
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