We are all in this world together

Yesterday, Jen and I did some last-minute Father's Day shopping while we were also getting a birthday present for a little boy's birthday party we had to go to. After we were done, as I waited for Jennifer to finish riding the mechanical horse, I noticed a woman standing outside of the store with a pushcart next to her, in which was a toddler and a store bag with baby formula in it. She held up an index card with writing on it. People who left the store didn't even look at her. I felt bad over such insensitivity and walked outside to read what her card said. To paraphrase, she had no money to buy food for her three children and she needed some help. I was grateful that she did, at least, have enough money to buy the formula. I became angry that so many people had just passed her right by, ignoring her and not reaching out to help. Well, I'm going to help! So I opened my purse and gave her a $5 bill, telling her I wish I could give more but I really couldn't. I just had the $5 to spare.

Seeing her, though, it brought back memories. I remembered how it was when I was divorced: I barely had enough money to put food on the table for my child. I can still remember the time she came to me saying she was hungry and all we had was a box of crackers. My parents occasionally wired us a little money here and there to help out, too, but here again, you know, the money can only go so far until next week. But at least they were able to give us more than $10! (This hardship lasted until, thank the Lord, I got two jobs that brought in extra money to buy food: Babysitting and housecleaning.) So in a way, I could relate to this woman's situation. And I only had one child to feed instead of three!

But there was also something that I could relate to here: The $5 I gave to here. I really, really wanted to give her more, but I couldn't. And I was trying to think of what she could buy for her children to feed them with that $5. She could buy a box of cereal and milk. Spaghetti and meat sauce. Canned soup or stew. Bread and a jar of peanut butter. Some fruit.

Believe me, I know all about trying to stretch that food money. And here again comes another memory: I was able to receive food benefit from the state. But because I have an annuity, I was only able to get $10 a month in food benefit. Yep, you read that right: $10 a month to feed one child. And believe me, that $10 was practically the bulk of what food money I had for us until I got those jobs. The "magic" of being a divorced mom is that you have to pay for EVERYTHING -- rent, utilities, home repair, gas, etc. -- and we got child support in bits and pieces. (Yeah, it was a pretty hard time until I got those jobs.) So I know all about trying to stretch that food money. I used coupons a lot and shopped at a grocery warehouse whenever possible. We wouldn't have even had a Thanksgiving unless my church gave us a box of food complete with a turkey. (And I have since donated money to their Thanksgiving food drive as a way of showing my gratitude for this.)

Now some may see this kinda thing and think, "She was probably some con artist trying to get free money." Or, "That kid probably wasn't even hers." You know what? All of that doesn't matter. It even didn't matter if she was just trying to get money to buy booze! If I just got swindled by a con artist, so what. I still felt good about giving her the $5. I had a smile on my face after doing that. (I had an even bigger smile after I saw other people walk up to her and help her out, too.) The giving was its reward.

But all of that "memory" stuff isn't what compelled me to reach out to this woman and help her. I did it for a bigger reason: Because I was able to. And because I truly believe that we are all in this world together, and we all need to be there for each other no matter what. We need to tear down the walls of discrimination, the walls of prejudice and status, and reach out to help other people when they need that help. We can't say "I'm better than you" or "you're just a lazy bum who only wants a handout" because hunger sees no status and no difference. Hunger affects ALL of us and it really does hit all of us hard. Hunger is a very real problem for a lot of people, and we just can't look the other way.

I really think it's unfair of people to have somebody go hungry instead of helping them out. I think it's unfair that there are people who refuse to give just because they are stingy or they don't want to "encourage" other people to be "deadbeats." (And I REALLY think that right there is a myth. One of my brothers was once homeless, and he had four kids to feed. He'd be out there on the street begging for money for food, just so he could feed his children. And where is he today? He has a job, he's getting an education, his children are getting an education, and he has his own house to live in. So, no, we DO NOT encourage people to keep being deadbeats if we give them something to help out!!)

We are all in this world together. It's not about how different we are from each other, how our status is different, how our color or religion is different, or how the past was bad. We are all in this world together! And we need to be there for each other and help each other out, no matter what.