Friday, January 02, 2015

Then and now

The end of 2014 came and went. Most people spent some time writing about things they accomplished from the year and goals they wanted to reach. While I did do a blog post on the writing blog about that sort of thing, I didn’t go there on a personal level. Just didn’t want to. But when my daughter and her friend started going over their highlights from 2014 (as it was a pretty good year from them), and I started asking myself why I didn’t want to do the same, when there were some good things from last year. But there were bad things, too. I guess I didn’t want to think about that.

So I am going to list some good things that happened for me last year, both on a personal level and as a writer:

1.   I turned 40.
2.   I had the 20th book that I either authored or co-authored published.
3.   I landed a gig ghostwriting books – a dream job for me!
4.   I figured out how to deal with “death anniversaries” better – by doing something good in that person’s memory, instead of being sad all day and missing that person.
5.   I let go of the negative people in my life, as well as people I realized I was just “wasting my time” with. I know so well that many people try to be nice for the sake of being nice, when they really just don’t want to be around me, see me or talk to me or anything. They feel sorry for me because I am a burn survivor. But I don’t want their pity. I can take a hint. If people are only tolerating my presence and just trying to be nice, I will no longer bother with them.
6.   I got over the depression of losing my dog. Yes, it was hard losing Chewie, and it was quite a shock to no longer be responsible for a dog after 21 years of having a dog, especially since during his last years he was in really bad shape and I had to be with him as often as possible because of his seizures and such. (It got to a point where he could hardly walk and he could not go down the steps outside to go to the bathroom.) But I did get over all of this after a while. I just needed time to grieve and adjust to this change, which I did allow for myself to go through. I feel a lot better now, especially knowing that Chewie is happy and with his family again. I believe that all dogs go to Heaven (cats, too!) and I do believe that Chewie and his family are all enjoying a happy and pain-free afterlife in Paradise.
7.   I came to terms with problems I was having on a religious level. I just decided it was time for a change and I feel a lot better in the choice I made. For the record, I may no longer be a Christian, but I STILL believe in God and I still pray to Him.
8.   I got to a point where I no longer cared about everybody else’s perceptions and judgments of me and my life. Oh, yes, I HAVE been judged by others. Everybody judges everybody else. But I had to remind myself that I live the way I do and do the things I do for a reason. I’ve gone through a lot in life and picked up a few lessons along the way. I know I am right in not trusting people so easily. I know I am right in doing everything possible to protect my children. That’s just a couple of things. But I am working through my faults. I am trying to fix things that are wrong. I know people have gotten on their pedestals and judged me for not being perfect or what THEY think I should be. But, you know what? I no longer care. I do my own thing. REAL friends don’t judge, so I hold onto the friends that I have who are NOT like that. They are the people I cherish and keep in my life. (I hope they’ll keep me in theirs, too!)
9.   I learned to be more confident about trying the things that scare me. I came across a quote that we should do something that scares us every day. Well, I don’t see that happening every day, but I DO see that happening at some point. There was something I had to do last year that scared me because I felt like I couldn’t do it. But I took a deep breath and I did it. And I succeeded, too. That was awesome. I was like, “Wow. I did it. I really pulled it off.” That right there gave me the confidence to try scary things again. So the next time I’m faced with something that scares me, I’m not going to back away from it. I’ll just take a deep breath and do it!!!
10.  We got a new computer! Yay!! The new computer is AWESOME!! I am still learning how to use the newer version of Word, but, wow, the speed on this thing is da bomb!! It works so much faster now and I can get so much more work done a lot faster, too. Yay! I loves it!

This new year has been going pretty good so far. I realize it’s only the second day, but it’s been a good couple of days (so far!) and I am happy about that. Hopeful it’s a sign of good things to come.

There are some things I have decided on for this year. These are NOT resolutions because I’m not doing those this year. Just decisions.
First, it’s time for a change, as far as my lifestyle goes. I wasn’t very active because I couldn’t be. Now I’m gonna be more active, because I CAN be! My life allows for that now.

No more wishing and hoping for some thing or another; I’m gonna go out and GET it! Or try to, anyway. I’m gonna try more things. Take more roads less traveled. (I briefly did that after my dog died, in order to get used to being away from home more often and for longer periods of time. That was part of my adjusting to it.) I don’t like cooking, but I like trying new foods, so I’m gonna try more recipes and foodie things! (Still not gonna turn into a foodie, though.)

We are also going to limit our exposure to technology. I have been doing this in bits and pieces but now we’ll be doing this more. All of us. I don’t want my kids growing up addicted to computers, smartphones or TV. I want them to be doing OTHER things. Like reading, playing outside, creating art and stuff. Just, other stuff! We have already created time limits on computer use and I also have Jesse on a “15 minutes to read every day” schedule but we’ll work on the other things. I just don’t want technology ruling our lives. Technology is good and it does have its uses, but there is such a thing as addiction and I just don’t want all of us to grow up being tech addicts. There’s just so much more out there.

Bottom line: The sky is the limit this year.  So let’s get out there and go after it!

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