Sunday, February 03, 2013

A mean girl, a clapping song, dead dogs and football

Last night, Jennifer spent the night at a friend’s house for a birthday party sleepover. I went to pick her up today and on the way home, she shared with me something shocking that happened while she was there. One of her former friends was violent to the other girls. In fact, she strong-handled one girl then sat on her chest. The girl ended up having a hard time breathing and needed attention from her grandmother after the girl was removed from her chest. She also wrestled too roughly with other girls, and bit two girls, as well! In fact, Jennifer is one of the girls that got bitten.

My jaw nearly dropped to the floor when she told me all of this. I was shocked! I was also appalled that one of the girls got hurt so badly that she ended up crying from the pain.

I could NOT believe this behavior was even tolerated. I was furious!! And I wanted to know WHY the adult in charge did not send that girl home. If that was happening at my house, I would tell the girl she was not welcome there and had to go home. But apparently, these girls had to fend for themselves.

When we got home, I talked about it with Jennifer. Jennifer kept saying that this girl bosses her around and that she has to do what this girl says.

“That’s bullcrap!” I told her. “That girl  is NOT the boss of you! You are your own person.”

“Not when she’s around,” Jennifer said.

I told Jennifer, “You don’t need friends like that!”

She told me, “She’s not my friend.”

“Good!” I said. I shook my head then said, “I don’t want you playing with that girl and I don’t want you to hang out with her. Seriously! Avoid!”

I was seething over the whole thing and was very close to calling the girl’s mother to raise hell about it. But then I realized that if I did that, then Jennifer would be labeled a tattletale and that would make things worse. So I had to figure out some way to resolve this problem, because this mean girl is getting away with hurting other kids! (Well, except for my friend’s daughter. Jennifer told me my friend’s daughter would punch this girl in the nose if she was violent towards her.)

Other things happened today that are of note mentioning. One thing is something interesting that happened with Jesse.

I was reading an article in the newspaper today when Jesse came up to me, took my hands and made me clap them 5 times, in a certain beat. I smiled and said, “That’s the Bingo song clap.”

“What’s the Bingo song?” he asked.

“You remember the song, Bingo? About a dog named Bingo?”

He shook his head, so I started to sing “B-I-N-G-O” as I clapped my hands along with it. It took a while and more of me singing the rest of the words until he remembered the song and started clapping along. We used to sing that song together when he was younger, as well as some other songs. Thinking on that, I asked him, “Remember the song, Old MacDonald?”

He shook his head.

So I started singing, “Old MacDonald had a farm....”

He smiled and sang, “E-I-E-I-O!”

Ah, he remembered that one, I started to think there must be something about these children’s songs, such as a clapping pattern or letter combinations, that help the children to remember them, just as nursery rhymes were commonly sung in a poetic form to make it easier for children to remember them. I was curious why he remembered the clapping pattern but not the song.

Later in the day, I was sitting at the table with the children and we were eating a snack. I was remembering the movie I’d watched the night before with Jesse, Frankenweenie, and I remembered the part where Victor buried his dog, Sparky, in a pet cemetery. I remembered watching that scene and reflecting on how so glad I was that I have made sure our dog, Chewie, will have a final resting place in a pet cemetery. I mentioned this to Jennifer and she frowned. “I don’t want Chewie to be buried in a pet cemetery,” she said.

I almost choked. WHHAAA??? After I went to all that trouble to arrange it because she wanted that for him, now se says she doesn’t! (Of course, it is not up to her, but I want something we will all be happy with.) So we talked about this and decided we would like to have something more personal for him when his time comes. I have contacted the people at the pet cemetery and I told them I might be canceling my contract with them. I told Jennifer I would give her some time to think this through and discuss it some more before I actually cancel it.

Aside from that, I watched the Super Bowl game today. Usually, I defer the TV to the husband and kids, but today I told them, “You guys hog the TV all week, and it’s MY turn to watch TV!” Heck, yeah! My favorite team, the San Francisco 49ers, was playing, so Mama was gonna watch her game! And I watched the whole thing, too. In fact, even my husband brought me a plate of honey BBQ chicken wings and a glass of Coke while I watched the game. (*swoons*) At one point, I got so excited, I was calling out different things and he came over to tell me, “Stop yelling at the TV.” Uh, I tend to get that way when watching a Niners game. ;) Or a San Francisco Giants game. Or a Chicago Bulls game! It made me remember one time when I was in the hospital and my parents and I were watching a 49ers game on TV. We all got so excited and cheering so loud, a nurse had to come in and tell us to quiet down. Heh. It’s hard NOT to get caught up in those games! I don’t go so crazy for all the other team games, but for my favorite teams, most definitely!

Jennifer was not interested in the game at first but she DID watch the national anthem being sung (hooray for someone signing it in ASL!!) and she told me the kids from Sandy Hook Elementary singing the song sounded so sweet. She REALLY got into the game later, though, especially during the last quarter. And she was cheering for the 49ers, too! We were really tense during those last minutes when the Niners were SO CLOSE to winning.

The 49ers lost the game today, though. Boo-hoo. A friend (who is a fellow Niners fan) and I texted each other our thoughts on the game after it was over. I still loved watching them play. And I’m still a 49ers fan no matter what!


Millie said...

WTF! No one messes with my niece! That's BS. Little brat.

I am glad Jesse remembered those songs, how cute.

And yeah, we watched the game here too, too bad they lost. Oh well.

Anonymous said...

During my lifetime, I've had several beloved dogs & cats pass away. I've always wrapped them up in their favorite blanket with their favorite toys and buried them in the yard, woods, or other place that they enjoyed going. It was more meaningful to me and my children, to do it ourselves, once the euthanasia has happened (with our pet going to sleep in my arms and on the favorite blanket or some piece of my clothing). It is comforting for all concerned, that our loved one lived a wonderful life, died without pain, and has become part of the Earth--fertilizing the flowers & trees where he/she once romped. We always planted something there, as a tribute.

Dawn Colclasure said...

Millie, I know. I'm very upset about it. Jennifer has been avoiding this girl at school. I'm definitely gonna keep an eye on this situation. Thanks for the texts. :)

Dawn Colclasure said...

Kim, thanks for sharing that here. And thanks for the talk this morning! It gave me some good ideas. I appreciate it that you took the time. This is such a personal thing and Jen says the pet cemetery option is just too impersonal. She wants to do something special for him. So it looks like we'll be doing that and I'll have to cancel all the other arrangements that I made for him. I guess there really WAS a reason why I had such a hard time to get out there! It must be nice to have them close by and I hope this decision is something you have been happy with since.