Friday, September 11, 2009

Stuff going on

Jesse is doing A LOT better now. His eyes are still healing from the surgery and the anesthetic is still making its way out of his system, but he's not stumbling when he tries to walk anymore and not walking into walls. He's been really fussy, though. Probably from irritation in his eyes. I give him Ibuprofen only when it's very bad and he's very uncomfortable. The post-op appointment went okay and he goes back next month for another check-up on his eyes. It will be some time before we see actual progress. I'm just glad the surgery went okay! Thank God for that!

I'm really nervous about applying the topical medicine under his eyes, though. Tonight, I did it for the first time and I don't even know if I did it right! Grr! I've watched hubby apply the medicine and he told me how to do it. I get really nervous trying to do it, though. I don't want to get any of it INSIDE of his eyes!

I have been sooooo busy all week. Writing, running errands, taking care of the kids and cleaning. CLEANING! The other day, when I picked Jen up from school, my hair looked like I just stepped out of a tornado because I went right from speed-vacuuming to going out to pick her up. I saw Jen's old teacher with my hair like that and I guess maybe I gave her something to wonder about. Haha. "Erm, what exactly were you up to??"

One of the cleaning jobs I had was Jennifer's room. It got REALLY bad because she's not very good at putting things away (she's a piler) and because she just doesn't take good care of her things or tidy up when she is done playing, or something. So I took it upon myself to clean the room. I was tired of not being able to walk in there and Jesse kept getting into EVERYTHING. It took me TWO DAYS to clean that room. What a job! I wish I could get her to keep her room tidy so it doesn't get so bad. Anyway, it's a lot better now and everything is put away and organized.

Jen started school this week. Yay! She really likes her class. Thankfully, there aren't any troublesome students in her classroom this year. Thank goodness for that! There is a boy who sits next to her and on the first day, he was messing around with her stuff. I gave him a dirty look and he just went about doing other things. I guess he is not giving her trouble and that's good. Last year, there was a kid in her class who caused trouble a lot. (The same kid who pushed a little boy in the hall) and I have been very concerned about her dealing with bullies. Believe me, I had to deal with them when I went to school! (They were in the public AND private school. Ugh.) Looking the way I do, I was an easy target for bullies. Even when I fought back on one occasion. But with Jennifer, I have always worried about it. I've even had nightmares about it! So I keep an eye out for things like that and I hope she doesn't have that problem this year.

Speaking of nightmares...I had a real bad one last night. It was horrible. Weather disasters were striking the entire state of Oregon. There were hurricanes, floods, mudslides, earthquakes, tornadoes. EVERYTHING! And in all of the state of Oregon! The whole state! It was awful. I saw so many people die in that dream. Being covered by mudslides, sucked into hurricanes. Homes being destroyed. People tried to evacuate but often the weather disasters hit before they could. So many people....all gone. It was just terrible to see all that. I woke up from that dream, went out to the living room and sat on the couch. Hubby was on the computer and he turned around to ask me what was wrong. When I told him my dream, he said, "Hurricane?" I nodded. Then he said, "Wrong side of the country." Yeah, tell me about it! Then I looked at the TV, hoping to get my mind off that dream. And, wouldn't you know it, there was a program on about rogue waves! ARGH!! I covered my eyes, shook my head and mumbled, "WHY did I have a dream like that then come out to see something like THAT on TV?"

Jennifer's BFF had a birthday party this week. At least, we THINK she did. Jen never got an invitation. I'm a little confused and angry about this. I sent the friend's mother an email and asked about it but, so far, no reply. I'm starting to get upset about this, because if the friend DID have a birthday party and decided not to invite Jennifer, then I think that's really uncool. It would make Jennifer REALLY upset and then there'd be problems with the friendship. I don't get it. So I hope it was a misunderstanding. I am going to call tomorrow and find out. If I don't end up hearing from them by email first.

Today hubby and I watched the movie Stardust. I heard so many good things about it. Even though I'm iffy with Neil Gaiman (some of his stuff is good, some of it...meh), I really liked this movie. It's a great fantasy story. The part where Victoria starts to like Tristan after he changes his looks, though, REALLY irritated me. I got all huffy and said, "She likes him NOW only because he looks good!" Hubby rolled his eyes and said, "It's just a movie!" That may be, but that kinda thing DOES happen in the real world. People are SO dependent on looks and beauty. I'm sick of it and I hate it. But I guess being a person with burn scars, of course I'm going to hate it. I often blame my lack of friends on the fact that I am burned. People think I'm too ugly to want to be seen with me in public. Or they are too uncomfortable around someone who is NOT beautiful or who looks unattractive because I am burned. Or maybe they think that because I look like a monster, I really am a monster. I know it's stupid to think that, but I do. Oregonians only love beautiful people!

And the same goes for love....Love is SO dependent on outward beauty. Or so many people in this world say it should be. You HAVE to be beautiful to be loved. If you are ugly, then you are shunned and ignored. One beautiful person will not love an ugly person. They BOTH have to look beautiful. Because outward appearances MATTER. It's just not right.

Which is why I would rather be with someone who would love me for my heart and not for my looks. I can't take these burn scars away. I can't make them disappear, even when wearing make-up. Love me for who I am and for the kind of heart that I have. Not for how I look.

That is my opinion, anyway....

I got A LOT done with the writing this week. Unfortunately, I was not able to do my article for SIGNews, because my source at Gallaudet refused to do an interview and so did anybody else associated with that topic. ARGH! I was really upset and NOT happy about losing the money I would have received for that article. Sigh. Fortunately, my editor was very understanding. I was soooo tempted to complain about it on the writing blog. But....I am a grown up. I can handle this in a mature, professional manner. (Those poopie-heads!)

As for the Ghost book, I am FINALLY allllllll caught up on the emails for it. YAAAAYYY!!!! Now to get caught up on the phone calls I have to make for it. I have two that I keep FORGETTING! But the email thing is good and it was a huge weight off my shoulders to get caught up on them. Hopefully, I'll be able to wrap up gathering all the stories I need VERRRRRY soon.

There are other emails I need to get caught up on, too. Hm. I'm working on it! So please don't think I am ignoring you....

I got an idea for a cartoon today. Imagine it: Writer goes into a printing shop and asks, "How much do you charge to print?"

Saleslady says, "How many pages do you need to print?"

Writer answers, "Oh, about 580 pages."

Saleslady faints.

That right there is how long the Totally Scared book is. Ayuh.


Anonymous said...

wow thats a long book!

Your dream reminds me of my tidal wave flood dreams. I used to have them repeatedly, always scary but none of them came true. I have had dreams that do though, so its still scary!

Although I dont agree that looks have anything to do with friendship, I must say, I would be seen with you in public any day! If only you lived closer!
In the last ten years that we have lived here in this house I have made friends primarily through my kids and their activities. I meet other moms at swimming practice or our kids are in the same girl scout troupe. BUT not everyone I meet becomes a friend, because it always seems to me that people are too busy to make new friends! Occasionally people are open and friendly and then I think "aha...this could be a new friend" My friend Shawn is one such person, we met at swimming practice and continued being friends even after my older daughter had quit the team. Also my neighbor Heidi is a good friend because her daughters are Isabels best buddies, and Heidi came and brought us cookies when we moved in. I think someone that does that is saying they are open to friendship and if people dont react to it, they are just too busy or simply dont have time.
I dont get out much thats for sure, and do rely on my friends online!

Glad to hear baby is doing good! Yeah bullies are a problem, but dont worry, tell your daughter to tell you or teacher if someone bullies her, because teachers are more pro-active now than they used to be and her teacher would be likely to put a stop to it.

I'm glad she likes her class, thats a big deal!

The birthday party thing, how irritating! I would be upset too, I hope it turns out they lost a phone number or address or something like that because otherwise that woman has some explaining to do!!!

Dawn Colclasure said...

Thank you, Nancy. :) I am actually trying to change my look. The way I had my hair before and the way I dressed....well, hubby just thought it was undesirable, for one thing! He even told me, "You look terrible when you have your hair up." And there are the complaints that I don't dress nice enough. Hello, I'm a housewife! I have ZERO reason to dress up nice! Anyway, I am trying to change that, but the minute I have time for myself and not have to change how I look for anyone, the hair goes up and the loose T-shirts and jeans come on. I hate it. It's like I'm living two lives! Still, I've noticed a difference. People who used to be "too busy" to talk to me actually stick around and talk now. And I've gotten compliments, which are nice.

Oh, I have tried being friends with a neighbor. He ended up taking advantage of me in a huge way and I finally saw how he was a user and manipulator. I don't think I'd take that chance again. Anyway, there's a couple of ladies in Jen's karate class who are nice. So maybe there's hope there. It's important to me to have friends because I am a social person. I need people!

But, yes, like you, I have great friendships with people online. That's the thing. There are sooooo many people I know through the Internet who have been such good friends (you included!) and I love them all dearly. My life is so enriched by them. So even though I don't have hardly any friends in real life, I am thankful that at least I have good friends online. :)

Besides, I'm a real chatterbox on the Internet. Not so in real life! LOL

I am glad you still have friends in real life, though. We all need our girls!

Thanks for the advice about bullies. It's definitely something I am watching out for.

I did contact that mom. There was actually a mix-up. The birthday is this week, not last week. but they are having a private family-only party, which I understand completely because we have done the same for Jen. (Though she still did have some birthday fun with her friends!) Since Jennifer is not in the same class as her BFF, I asked if the girls could still do something fun together in honor of the birthday, like see a movie or have ice cream. Still waiting for a response on that!

Anonymous said...

Hey woman sounds like you got everything under control. Have you ever thought of getting your hair styled?

My sisters, refuse to cut their hair, so its just long and laying there, and I mean really long. When they were kids though they were forced to have "pixie" cuts because our mother could not be bothered to do their hair every day. So now as adults they dont want their hair cut ever.

Do you have something like this in your background? I always think when people have long straight hair, parted in the middle past like, age 25 its because they are super attached to their hair which is fine.

But if you are NOT attached to your hair, would you think about going shoulder length or layered or even just a few long bangs. Just a face framer!

When I was a kid I had the opposite of my grandma who I was raised by would not let me cut my hair, ever! She said I would look ugly if I did this because girls should have long hair. So...the minute I left grandma I cut my hair SHORT, sort of rebellious.

Now I grow it, cut it, grow it, cut it. Just to keep things interesting! My hubby loves my hair long...but when I cut it he cant stop saying how cute it looks and has admitted he really doesnt care if its short or long. Most men fantasize about women with long hair, whipping it around during sex, LOL (PG 13 comment)

Dawn Colclasure said...

Nancy! LOL OMG Let's change the subject!

It's interesting that you mention that, though. I am currently reading She's All That by Kristin Billerbeck and in one chapter, a character is complaining about something they did/do on The Swan and says, "They make the girls all look the same with bad, fake hair dye and long hair. Like all women should have long hair. It's so neanderthal."

I am actually very fond of having long hair. I'd love to be able to wear it down all the time but I REFUSE to cook a meal with my hair down (cuz hair gets in the food -- yuck!) and sometimes it can get caught on something. Once, when I bent over to move a cord out of the way while vacuuming, the vacuum sucked up my hair! Hubby had to free me from it. (I can laugh about that now, but it was scary at the time.) The main reason why I put it up so much is because putting up my hair means TIME TO GET BUSY! I have sooo much housework to do every day and I have noticed that having my hair down changes me from the busy attitude to a calmer, more creative attitude. Today I had my hair down a lot and I was working on my writing like CRAZY!

Hm, I think I like that better than doing the housework like crazy. LOL :)

I HATE going to a stylist. They always, ALWAYS cut my hair and put it in a style that I don't like. Some women actually DO like having long hair! Stop cutting our hair unless we ask you to!

Anyway, the birthday thing has been resolved. I made a new friend today. And I'm getting ideas for the "new look" I am trying to create. The world is right again. LOL