Sick and writing

This week we were planning to go to a book fair at Jennifer's school. Unfortunately, we didn't get to attend and buy books. First it was because Jennifer got into red at school, so part of her punishment was to not go to the book fair. The second reason why is because she got sick and had to miss a couple of days. By the time she got back to school, the book fair was over.

I have been sick, too. Apparently, I caught whatever it was Jennifer had. (Some kind of mutant form of the cold.) At first, I tried to just blow it off and go about my day doing what I had to do, but by Day Two, it had knocked me off my feet. My brain was fried, I had bad chest congestion, runny nose, coughing and body aches. I couldn't get ANY writing done and I decided to just STAY OFF the computer because any time I tried to read an email, words became jumbled and my eyes wouldn't stay opened.

So, writing was out of the question. I felt bad I couldn't get anything done, because just one look at my email account told me I had to get EVERYTHING done, but I just could not focus or concentrate. I couldn't put sentences together. As much as I hated to, I missed one day on the blog series for Read an E-Book Week. I have decided that, next time around, I will write these blog posts up in advance so they will post automatically.

As it is today, I'm having good and bad moments. Sometimes I can think straight and put sentences together, sometimes not. My strength just comes and goes. When I thought I'd have enough strength to cook lunch this morning, I realized I didn't by afternoon. (I ended up nuking lunch instead.) So I'm on and off the computer, on and off with the housekeeping duties around the house. I'm out of orange juice, out of Comtrex and out of any other medicine that might help alleviate symptoms.

Anyway, I'm hoping I'll be right as rain by the end of the weekend. I am just glad I have been able to resurface today and get SOME things done, get a little catching up done. Until I'm 100% better, that'll have to come in bits and pieces.

Last night, I had one of my usual nightmares. Someone in my family did something to me a long time ago that was a Very Bad Thing, and sometimes I still have nightmares about it. But also in these nightmares, he's hurting my daughter, too. I am trying to figure out a way to cope with those nightmares. I keep telling myself that person is VERY far away and won't be able to get anywhere NEAR my daughter. It's little comfort, though, because of the whole "family ties" thing. You know how they like to say "we're FAMILY, love us anyway"? Yeah, that's what goes on here, too. But I will go through hell and high water to protect my baby girl and not let what he did to me happen to her, too. I suppose I can only do so much to make sure it won't happen. But I have to figure out how to deal with these nightmares. I don't like having them. I could try shrugging it off, say "it's just a bad dream" and go about my day. But that's pretty hard to do.

I don't let the nightmares ruin my day, though. It's just this whole being sick thing that puts a damper on any chance to go out and have fun. Bah!

I got an idea today. I have been trying to figure out how to write my life story in a way that isn't too difficult for me to write. There are lots of bad things that have happened in the past -- not just the abuse. I really don't want to revisit all that. But I think if I write it all out like it's a novel, then maybe it won't be so hard. That's how I wrote about all those dreams I had with that man named Jonathan in them. I wrote it as a novel. Changed names and everything. Then I did it again with November's Child, except I took the whole "literary liberty" thing to the nth level! LOL

But if I do this with my life story, then maybe it won't be so hard to write. Heck, maybe I can take all that bullying I had to deal with in middle school and make it where I cleverly got back at those bullies. Or how I wasn't taken out of a musical performance for "not singing" after all, and I got to sing in front of everyone in that class! Yeah, that'll show 'em! Haha, no, seriously. I will keep EVERYTHING in that "novel" as factual as I can. In fact, the only thing I'll change will be the names.

Well, it's a thought. I'm not crazy about writing my life story, but a lot of people have definitely been asking me to write it. Maybe I will, someday. I know for a fact I'm not at a "high point" in life to even start writing about this life so far lived. I'm not even 50 years old yet! Maybe I'll write it someday. And maybe, when I do write it, I'll pen the whole thing as a novel. We'll see.