The new kid

On Thursday, September 6th, my daughter started her first day of kindergarten. We were both excited about this new big change in her life. No more preschool; she was going to school with the BIG kids now. She was going to a school that had OTHER grades, too, and not just hers.

At the same time, I was worried. I had ALL of these worries hanging over me: What if she gets bullied? What if her teachers are mean? What if she gets lost? Etc., etc. My biggest worry, though, was being able to LEAVE her there for 6 1/2 hours. HOW WAS I GOING TO SURVIVE THAT LONG WITHOUT HER??!!!

Still, I pushed these worries aside and tried to maintain a positive attitude about her big day. We did all of the pre-school stuff, enrollment paperwork and meeting everyone before the big day arrived. We attended the open house and toured her classroom. I, of course, asked every question I could think of during all of it.

Then Thursday came. Jennifer was excited about her big day. She LOVED her new school clothes and said she hoped she'd get some more later (she got her wish on Sunday). But once we got to the school and started walking in that HUGE crowd of children, her excitement faded and she started clinging to me. She was obviously nervous about being around soooo many children, some of them older than her. I stayed by her side as we went into the cafeteria and sat down. The place was PACKED!! There were sooo many children. The teachers came in to collect their students. When Jennifer's teacher called them to the front, she lined them up and gave them all a public welcome to the school. Everybody clapped. Some parents took pictures. Then I followed her to her classroom and made sure she knew what to do: Put her backpack, lunch box and jacket in her cubby. Then I helped her find her name tag, which all of the children in the class had to wear. Then I stayed back and watched as she sat on the carpet with the other children and the teacher talked with them. Soon, the children had to say goodbye to their parents. Jennifer got up to gave me a hug and we signed "I love you" to each other before she walked back to the carpet.

It was NOT easy leaving her there. I sort of stuck around outside of the door to watch for a little bit as she talked with children in the group then with the teacher. Of course, I KNEW I couldn't stay there, and I finally pulled myself away to leave.

Later that day, the parking lot was CHAOS when school let out. If I had thought the inside of the school had been full, then the outside at the end of school was PACKED. I mean, I had to drive VERRRY slowly through the parking lot to where Jennifer was with her teacher and classmates, waiting for the parents. Her teacher walked her to the car and helped her in. Then I had to drive with my foot on the brake just to get out of there. Boy, oh boy, I'd never realized how CRAZY school parking lots were when school was out. And it's not just cars everywhere, but children, too.

The next day, I again walked with her through the cafeteria and to her class. This time, though, I hung back to watch her, just to make sure she knew where to go and what to do. And also make sure she didn't get separated from her group on the way to her class! Unfortunately, she fell behind, but she still walked right to her classroom so I was relieved she at least knew how to get there if she gets separated from the group again. She was also more comfortable being around all of the children and even started conversations with some of them. And, yes, even I was able to pull myself away once again. Heh.

Today she wanted to buy lunch at her school. All jokes about the food I make aside, I decided we should give it a shot and see how it works out. This morning, though, I was too dizzy to drive her to school, so I constantly reminded her to give her teacher her lunch money and tell her that she wanted to buy her lunch. (The children are allowed to give the teacher their lunch money if the parents don't have other arrangements with the school lunch program. One arrangement is for parents to have a tab running and the child is assigned a number and each time they buy lunch, the amount is deducted from the tab.) I had confidence in Jennifer's ability to remember to tell her teacher about her lunch plans and I kept trying to assure myself she would be fine. I had even drilled her on if she knew what to do in the cafeteria -- where to go, etc. -- and she said, "Aw, Mom. I know how to buy lunch." All the same, I caved in and called the office, just to be sure. (Yeah, I know. I think I need help!) I talked to someone in the office about Jen's situation and she assured me not to worry, they have staff in the cafeteria to help the children buying lunch and she would make sure Jennifer would have no trouble buying her lunch. (Yup, I had just managed to single my child out at lunch time. She'll never forgive me for this.)

Her 3rd day at school went well. The more she attends, the more excited she is about it. She told an interpreter at my doctor appointment "I love school!" and she keeps going on and on about it. I think the more we get through each day, the more easier it'll be for me to let her go, too.

...but only for a little while.