Saturday, September 15, 2007

These dreams (and fears)

Well, it finally happened: I had the "baby born early" dream last night. With all that's been going on with this pregnancy, I keep worrying about the baby being born early. Especially with the Braxton-Hicks contractions being so strong sometimes, and the lower abdominal pain being so intense. Last night, I was dealing with such pain, and in between gasping and gritting my teeth, I used deep breathing to help me deal with it. Amazingly, deep breathing did the trick. (I am still so surprised when deep breathing helps alleviate the pain in my stomach or even in my back. I know it's one common method of helping pain, that it's been used for centuries, but I still have never understood how it works.) Anyway, while I was having that pain, I was lying there praying that it wasn't a labor pain.

So, it's not surprising I had the dream I had last night. In my dream, I was in the passenger seat of a car, clutching my stomach and screaming in pain, in the throes of labor. Hubby was driving me to the hospital. A cop tried to pull him over for speeding and he was yelling out the window as he pointed at me, "Hospital!" Hearing this, the cop escorted us to the hospital, but I blacked out before we got there. When I awoke, I was in a hospital bed, and still pregnant. I slowly got out of the bed, despite all the tubes and everything attached to me, and I was walking around the room, confused. Somehow or another, the hospital had stopped labor, but I was still so confused. I didn't know if I was going to be safe, if the baby was going to be safe, if I was even HAVING the baby anymore now, etc.

When I was pregnant with Jennifer, I had A LOT of "worry dreams" about her. I dreamed she was born with one eye (I gave birth to a Cyclops!), that she never cried after she was born (maybe that was a sign she'd never go through colic, which thankfully she never did!), that I'd lost her, that someone kidnapped her from the hospital, etc. I had ALL the worry dreams of pregnancy. I've rarely had any with this one. In fact, this is only the second one! In the first one, I dreamed that I wasn't able to handle the job of caring for 2 kids -- and Jennifer was the one to suffer because of that. (I know the baby will need more attention and care than my little 6-year-old will, but still, that dream was depressing.)

On the other hand, I've had quite a tough go with this pregnancy. Maybe because this one is my last! Heh. So in that way, I have more worries going on on the outside, rather than on the inside. (I had an easy pregnancy with Jennifer. The only bad thing to happen was when I got a tear in the amniotic sac after lifting heavy boxes, but even then it was not a "crisis" because it healed soon enough.)

This whole thing makes me wonder about other "worry dreams" pregnant women have had. I once saw a thread about this on a pregnancy message board online, but that was long ago and I'm curious about it again. Maybe I'll try doing an online search and see what turns up. At least I know it's only my fears causing these dreams. I AM afraid of having the baby early. There's only 2 more months to go, but all the same, it'd be NICE if I can carry this baby to term without any surprises.

Or should I say...any OTHER surprises.

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