Friends whining about the rules

Sometimes, parents have to deal with their kids' whining over certain rules. Lately, I've been getting the whining not from my child -- but her friend.

My daughter has a young friend who she adores. I usually have no trouble when this friend comes over to play or when the two of them hang out.
It's when I try to maintain the status quo that the friend's whining really gets to me.

Take, for example, this morning. Her friend came over shortly after we finished breakfast, asking if my daughter could play. I said she COULD play, but first she had to clean her room. The friend's smile faded and she displayed those typical hound-dog eyes. She turned to my daughter and said, "But I have to leave in 3 days."

I bit my lip, wanting to scream, "IT'S NOT GOING TO TAKE HER THREE DAYS TO CLEAN HER ROOM!!" Instead, I took a deep breath and calmly explained that, sorry, this is just one of the rules my daughter must follow: She can't play with her friends until her room is cleaned. Could she PLEASE come back in 20 minutes? JUST 20 minutes. Not 20 days. We had done a MAJOR clean-up job in her room yesterday, so there was very little she had to do. Just put away some toys, fold up and put away her nightgown, then make her bed. That's it! Hearing the "rule" bit, the child nodded and (reluctantly) went back home.

This is not the first time I have had to do the "sorry, we have a rule against that" speech. That little reminder comes after I first say my daughter can't do this or has to come home now, which is then met by whining and pleading. Once, I even caught this little friend being very much UNfriendly when she suggested my daughter "tell your mom this, tell your mom that" to get me to change my mind.

Grr!

Sorry, kiddo. A rule is a rule.

My daughter is NOT allowed to be walking on the streets after dark. My daughter MUST be home by 8 p.m. My daughter is NOT allowed a sleepover on a school night. My daughter MUST eat dinner with the family when dinner is ready. My daughter MUST be in bed at bedtime. There is a rule about how she can't play out front without adult supervision (we live on a busy street, so that's mandatory). I also have a rule that if a friend hits, kicks or pushes my daughter, that friend is promptly sent home and her/his parent is informed of the infraction. AND my daughter is not allowed to watch those R-rated movies with the kind of sexual innuendo and foul language I have caught the two of them watching at the child's house!

Ugh.

I have considered discussing this with the friend. Even with the friend's father. Sometimes she can play, sometimes she can't. That's just the way it is. And, there are rules my child must follow, friend or no friend.

While other parents may see my attitude about this as a little overbearing, I make no apology for the rules I try to enforce.

Am I doing something wrong here by sticking to my guns? I won't bend on the ruies, but it sure is frustrating to deal with the whining that ensues because of them.