A mompreneur?

Ask me at any time why I prefer to be a stay-at-home mom and my answer is simple: "To be there for my daughter." My little girl, a child I desperately wanted for so long and who took more than two years for me to conceive, is the light of my light. Jennifer ("Jen") has become popular in my family, even though she's been out of sight from them since early January. At 5 years old, she's an overactive, creative and lovable child. Though she definitely has her bad days (don't ALL children?), I love her to pieces and actually feel no regrets in being there for her all these years, sans job. Of course, I managed to make a little extra money with my writing jobs, and this was fine for a while. Until, that is, divorce struck and I gradually learned the financial realities of trying to support a child on your own. I have a permanent income, but it's just enough for our rent, bills, car payment and fuel. (It's NOT welfare or SSI, btw. I wouldn't DO that.) I have that income plus child support. Still, my financial status is at the "just enough" level, and I know someday my daughter's going to want an allowance or I'm going to have to be able to afford getting her new shoes or new clothes for school. My writing jobs aren't bringing in the kind of money that it used to, and comparing what we don't have to what my child is later going to really need, it was with a sad heart I set out to try to find a job. My attempts led me to Vocational Rehab, which a neighbor friend pointed me to, and I've been working with them since in trying to gain employment. I sadly said goodbye to being a stay-at-home mom to my baby girl and have since been trying to get myself into a "mindset" of not being at home so much or having to work a job because my child depends on me for it. (Note: There are other reasons why I need to improve my financial status. One is that I would like to be able to travel AT LEAST once a year. I can't help it; I love travelling and visiting places. NOT the headaches behind all that, though. But, yes, I do enjoy travelling. And I can't talk publicly about the other reasons -- but they ARE things that need to be resolved, at some point.)

Then, yesterday, as I was paging through the ads from Sunday's newspaper, an idea for a home-based business struck. I liked the idea so much that I started writing it all out. Then I started to ask myself: Could I STILL be an at-home mom if I tried this?

Was I ready to join the club of mompreneurs?

I had actually thought about doing an Internet-based "business" in the past. I signed up for this course to teach a person how to run a resume-writing business from home. And even though that course offered me some interesting tips and tricks for writing resumes, and even though I put together a plan for that, I really wondered just how successful it might be. I used to work for a home-safety business, which emphasized fire protection. When I was giving one of the free demonstrations, which included the option for a customer to buy equipment such as fire extinguishers from us, I was told, "I could get that cheaper from the Home Depot." (And this was actually TRUE. It didn't take me long to learn I was "employed" by a business resembling one of those steak-knife-selling outfits. Still, what I learned from that experience, about home safety inspections, was still useful information.) I thought the same about the resume-writing thing. There are free resume writing sites on the Web. There is software available far cheaper than what many resume-writing businesses charge. (I thought a $100 flat fee for my services was fair but even now I'm questioning that amount.) Also, I figured people would find a way to get their resumes done for free. My older sister asked my then-boyfriend-later-husband-later-ex-husband to fix up her resume for her, and there was no exchange of money in that deal. So I figure people wouldn't really take to this idea very well. Also, I chatted with an online friend, telling her my doubts about this whole thing, and she pointed out that people without a job weren't liable to spend whatever money they have on a resume. Also, I can't gaurantee someone will get a job. What if a disgruntled customer started doing something scary out of respite? Uh-uh. I have a child; I'm not setting myself up for something like THAT!

But this idea I came up with yesterday just might work. It MIGHT work. The concept is unique enough, though it is similar to one used before but there is a way to set this particular business apart from the rest and I figured that part out, too. I got excited about it as I thought more on it and I wanted to tell my youngest sister ALL about it right then and there.

Then I think...what if this is just another swing-and-a-miss idea? I've had ideas for businesses before, but I never went anywhere with them. And part of me thinks that, no matter how much I want to do THIS idea, chances are, I won't.

Why?

For the same reason I never followed through on the OTHER ideas:

1. I don't know ANYTHING about starting/managing/running/owning a business.

2. I have NO educational training in owning a business.

3. I have NO experience in running a business.

4. I have NO clue on how to get the funds to start one up and keep it running.

5. I have very poor money management skills. It's true. I do! I am horrible at managing finances. I have tried several times to do this and I have tried to learn how to do this, too. But, numbers and me just don't click. I get SO confused a lot and I'm terrible at math. Often, I will think I'll have it all figured out and I end up being VERY WRONG. Ugh. And then the unexpected happens, which I don't have a safety net for. I just can't manage that stuff -- and too many horror stories of people getting bilked by someone managing their money for their business has me way too cautious about trusting anyone I don't know to handle THAT end of things. Sigh. I'm good with the idea stuff, but not with the logistics involved in keeping those ideas afloat. (As a side note, I have pretty much decided to throw in the towel on trying to manage a bank account should I ever....EVER, EVER, EVER get married again. Haha. Nooo, thank you. I'll let the man of the house take care of that stuff.)

It's still a nice thought, though. One I suppose will get tucked away with all the rest.

still not happy about no longer being a stay-at-home mom, though. I've even tried calling myself a "working mom" just to get used to it and that attitude is still hard for me to adopt.

DISCLAIMER: Please, please do not send me emails saying you have the perfect at-home job for me or some kind of job that requires an initial "investment." Please also don't try to talk me into some kind of "get rich quick" thing or pyramid scheme. I am not interested. I am not interested in getting "rich" or "wealthy" or becoming a zillionaire, or whatever. I just need a better income to SURVIVE. Thanks all the same, though.