Saturday, April 16, 2011

Not out of the woods yet

The other day, my mother was officially declared cancer-free. Finally, after years of battling this disease, the cancer is gone. It’s truly a miracle. I cried when I heard the news and have thanked God every day that she is finally free of that disease.

It was the best news I have received all year. It is THE best news of this year. The best gift anyone could ever receive.

Unfortunately, however, she is not yet out of the woods.

A day after this came about, I learned that my mother was rushed into emergency surgery. My sister and I were sending texts back and forth while she was at the airport waiting for her flight. (And she apologized to me about the email. We’re blaming it on her pregnancy hormones.) Then she told me right before boarding her plane that she’d just heard that our mom was rushed into surgery. I logged in at Facebook to find out from my relatives out there what was going on. There are problems with my mother’s stomach and that’s why she had to go into surgery. I immediately sent out a prayer request for her.

Meanwhile, I started praying. People in my network let me know they were praying for her, too.

I prayed so hard for her yesterday. Fighting back tears and fear, I focused on asking God to help my mother. Yesterday, I prayed more in one day than I have ever prayed in my life. Jennifer prayed for her, too. She even included her grandma when she said grace at dinnertime.

I kept my phone with me, relying on texts from my cousin for news, but I kept checking my Facebook messages for news, too. I called the hospital both while my mother was in surgery and after she’d been moved to the ICU. They could not complete the surgery because she is too weak. They planned to complete the surgery tomorrow.

The situation stressed me out. I could barely focus on anything else besides my mother. I kept checking my phone and checking my messages. I know it annoyed my husband I was on the computer so much, especially right after I’d put dinner on the table, but this was (is) an emergency. I just could NOT focus on anything else! I’d made, dinner, sure. I’d edited and resubmitted an article to DMS, sure. But not much else was a priority for me.

In a way, the distractions could be a good thing. I could barely sleep last night because I was so worried. But I stopped myself from pacing around the house and wringing my hands and sat down to watch the movie Secretariat instead. (This was my FOURTH attempt to watch the movie! And I finally got to watch the whole thing. And because Jennifer could not sleep, either, she sat down to watch it with me. And remind me again how much she wanted a horse. Well, I want one, too, but the horse ranch thing will have to wait for a future time.)

Now, as of today, things don’t look good for my mother. She might not make it if she goes back into surgery tomorrow. They have put her on a breathing tube. She isn’t doing well. And I’ve just learned she is going into surgery today.

Please, dear Jesus, please heal my mother. Please help her.

I am going to see if we can get out to St. Louis to be with her this weekend. We HAVE to go see her. We HAVE to be there. I have to accept the fact that she might not make it….which is why we need to get out there to be with her all the more. We NEED to be there. We must.

I’ll be praying that will happen, too. Somehow.

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