Red flags

One of my sisters lives in Illinois, as do my parents and one of my brothers. Because of the distance, I have not seen them since March of last year. There's been talk on both sides of visits, but it never happened. Meanwhile, most of us have stayed connected with each other via MySpace. (It used to be through AOL, but not all of us use AOL anymore.) By doing so, we were able to get bits and pieces of what was going on with everyone, as well as passing on any news or information.

For some time, the sister who lives in Illinois has been involved with someone. Someone most of my family knows about from when living in the California desert, though I don't really remember him very well. (Them saying "you know, the one with the guitar?" doesn't really help jog my memory.) Needless to say, the ones who know him better have shared with me their views about my sister getting involved with him again. Apparently, he moved to Illinois just to be with her. And I've heard a thing or two some siblings have had to say about him.

Things that are not very...nice.

When I first heard about all this and saw their pictures, I got some bad vibes about it. I know I don't know this guy, but something about this whole situation just rubbed me the wrong way. I just didn't get a good feeling about it.

Then, out of the blue, I find out they're getting married. (Yes, that fast.) Then my sister posted a bulletin saying they're changing their phone service so they'll be offline for a few days, and she'll let us know the new phone number.

So far, I haven't gotten her new phone number. Something was definitely wrong here.

From this point, other things happened that had the sirens going off. My sister decides to let this guy she's with use her MySpace, and she turns it into a profile they share. I'm starting to wonder if Mr. Wonderful has been erasing messages I send to my sister on there, because I never get an answer. I am also concerned over how this guy is suddenly more important to my sister than her own son. Until they got together, her 7-year-old little boy was her world. Now she refers to him as "the kid" and doesn't talk much about him anymore. But she's all lovey-dovey with her S.O. (OK, I don't know for sure if that qualifies as a "red flag." I mean, maybe that's just ME. I ALWAYS put my kids first, even before my own husband! Even before me!) Then she announces they have plans to move out of state. This I don't understand. My sister has a great job, her own place to live and she's close to our mother. And she SHOULD be close to family! (I sure wish we were.)

I am just really starting to feel concerned that she is involved with a controlling and/or manipulative "significant other." Given my experience with my husband and given what I learned in ALL of those books and websites I read about controlling boyfriends/partners/spouses, I'm seeing these things going on with my sister and it just doesn't look right. At all.

I just hope that, eventually, I will find a way to get in touch with my sister. Maybe someday she will answer one of my emails or I will get her new phone number and call her up. Or I'll get her address and write to her. (With discretion, of course.) I just hope I'm wrong. I hope that these things going on are just...glitches or forgetfulness. I want to believe I am wrong to think this guy's she's with is controlling, and that I shouldn't worry about anything. But those red flags and sirens going off are just a little hard to ignore.