Sunday, June 28, 2015

The fallout from being slandered on Facebook

Some time ago on Facebook, I posted a mini-rant about someone. One person on my Friends list knew this person and pointed out that it wasn’t fair that I was saying as much when this person was not able to defend himself in response to what I said. That was a very good point and since then I have kept that in mind before I post stuff. (Though I gotta say: I no longer post ANYTHING like that that has to do with personal relationships because I would rather talk with the person privately instead of whining about it on Facebook. Whining does not solve anything!) Unfortunately, there are some people out there who do not think that way. Today I came across someone who I do not know and who is not on my Friends list but whose page I checked out because, from what I learned through a private discussion with a friend, he was slandering her on his page. I checked it out and, yes, unfortunately, he WAS slandering her on his Facebook page. By name. I was outraged because this dude was acting like such a hypocrite and he was trashing MY FRIEND. The worst part was that my friend could not defend herself because he unfriended her. That is just not cool.

The big thing that I worried about because of this, though, is that from now on, everybody on his page who saw that would forever believe that this particular person is EVIL. That she DISCRIMINATES. I won’t post my friend’s name here because I respect her privacy, but I WILL say that this dude was WRONG and anybody who believes him is WRONG. And I also gotta say that I have been where my friend is now. I was not attacked by name but, boy, did I get my ass chewed out on Facebook over a stupid meme. My worry then was the same that I had for my friend now: That everybody who saw all of that would believe what I was wrongfully accused of.

But I want to tell my friend the same thing I told myself after all of that blew over. I want to tell her this: If everybody who sees that post believes what that guy says about you, screw them. They do not know you. They do not understand you. They probably want some reason or another to gracefully bow out of your life without looking like a total jerk because they’re going to ride their Righteous Horse for all it is worth and BELIEVE what they think of you no matter what. And you have to let that go. Don’t waste your time trying to tell them they are wrong or defend yourself to them because They. Don’t. Care. They want to have this NEGATIVE view of you and milk it for all it is worth to make THEM look like some martyr or a prince and YOU look like a sack of shit. I’m sorry, but it is true. That’s how people are.

And, you know, if they were looking for some excuse to drop you, then maybe it’s a good thing this all happened. Because at least now you know that they didn’t really care about you at all. It hurts, yes, but there are people who wouldn’t bat an eye over hurting someone. It’s a cold, hard fact about this world. You know, people suck. You could try convincing them that they are wrong and you can talk until you are blue in the face, but they won’t listen. They won’t care. They will believe what the other person said. Or they will believe this incorrect and negative view that they have of you forever and ever and ever.

And, you know what? You don’t need people like that in your life. If they are the kind of person who does not want to take time to get to know you, understand you and accept you the way you are, then don’t chase after them when they choose to walk out of your life. In fact, show them the door!

People who DO know you will understand that you are not that person. People who DO care about you will realize what’s going on and remain your friend, confidante, whatever, No. Matter. What. I mean, they’ll see that crap that guy said and think that, obviously, there was a misunderstanding. There was some form of miscommunication. Or maybe that guy is just being a jerk.

So don’t sweat jerks like that. Yes, it’s wrong of them to slander you like that on Facebook, but really, there’s not much you can do about it. Just write them off. Accept their unfriending you with a glad heart. Because now you know what kind of person they REALLY are, and you are better off that they have walked out of your life. Good riddance!

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