Setting things right

There is something that has been on my mind an awful lot lately: Balance. I read this article talking about how people complain one aspect of their lives is working out just fine (such as their career) but another aspect is a mess (such as their personal life). They just can't find a way to balance the two things. That article has stayed with me, mainly because I have the same problem. I just can't find balance in ALL aspects of my life. Career, relationships. money, family, etc. I have tried, but it just hasn't worked out.

And I've been thinking about it an awful lot today, because I keep thinking about how there are GOOD things happening for my writing career now. Good things career-wise....but not personal-wise. The two are just not balanced.

The main thing is, I have done some bad things in my past. I know I'm not a saint! I have hurt people, lied to people, took advantage of people. Etc., etc. I wasn't a very good person in the past. I wasn't very reliable. I put my OWN priorities ahead of everybody else's. And even though I am not that same person anymore, I know what I must do to redeem myself with these people. I must make amends. I must set things right.

I know it's not going to be easy. I'm going to have a lot of owing up to do. A lot of embarrassment and shame to face. But I know I must do this. If not for myself, then for my children. I am, after all, a role model to them. And I want them to grow up to be good people.

I know there is a chance I might fail. That people won't understand. That maybe they'll still be angry, hold grudges or just refuse to bury the past. I know this might happen. I know they might not forgive me. But, I've still got to try.