Monday, December 31, 2012

Goodbye to all that!

I know that at the end of the year, we are all supposed to reflect on everything that happened during these 12 months. But for me, I’d rather not do it. Don’t wanna do it because 2012 was just a crummy year for me.

The worst part of 2012 is that my mother passed away. Yes, I KNOW we are all supposed to find peace and comfort when a loved one dies, especially if that loved one was in a lot of pain. But I just wish my mother had been able to stick around just a little longer.

All the same, I accept that God called her home. My only comfort is that she is free now. No one can ever take advantage of her again. No one will ever hurt her or use her again. She has her voice back now. She has her legs back now. She can run again, sing, dance and fly free. Without pain. That is the best part.

Two of my uncles also died this year. One of them is an uncle I don’t even know if I ever met. I really SHOULD try to connect with family more often and reach out to relatives. That is one of my resolutions for 2013.

A cousin died this year, and we also lost a dear family friend this year: Mackie. I was shocked when I learned that he had died, especially at such a young age. It was a very sad time and I still mourn this loss. He was always cool to hang out with and I have fond memories of him. He was one of the kindest people I have ever known.

The kind people really stand out.

Aside from deaths, another thing did not go so well this year. The job search sucked. I tried to get a job both from home and outside of the house but no luck there. I REALLY need to get a part-time job, so that is also something I will focus on next year.

We were hit with a REALLY bad medical bill to pay this year, which required several months to completely pay off, and that also hurt us financially. As it is, my son needs eye surgery (again!) and I really want to get THAT taken care of more than anything. I don’t know how we’ll get him the surgery he needs, but it must be done as soon as possible considering what it is for. I wanted that to happen this year but it did not.

Those are the big things that made 2012 suck. I hope 2013 is better. 

P.S. And, yes, I DID reflect on some good things that happened this year. That's on my writing blog, if anyone is interested.


Jana B said...

I'm sorry you had such a rough year. Give yourself time and space to grieve... there is no reason why you should have to be at peace with your mom's death so soon. You miss her, you're sad - that's normal. My dad passed away almost 6 years ago, and sometimes it still really really hurts.

I hope 2013 is a year filled with hope and healing for you. *big hug*

Dawn Colclasure said...

Thank you, Jana. I really appreciate that. :) I guess I do need more time with this. It's hard. I am sorry about your dad. I will keep you in my prayers for comfort and peace. I also hope 2013 is a better year for all of us. Take care. *hugs back*