Thursday, January 28, 2010

Special moments

There are times when something special will happen in life and we just have to stop and think, Wow. Is this for real? Am I dreaming?

Every time I look at the baby, a part of me asks those questions. It's been over two years since I've given birth to Jesse, and even still, sometimes when I look at him, I can't help but think....Wow. Thank you, God, for blessing me with him.

Now, being 2, Jesse DOES have his moments. He'll throw tantrums. Make horrible diaper messes. Sometimes he won't sleep. Sometimes he'll spit out his milk or throw his food. And sometimes he'll throw things.

But through ALL of those downsides, I wouldn't trade the privilege of having him in our lives for anything. He still means the world to all of us. He's still special.

And there are special moments we'll get to have with him, too. Those little moments when he'll do something only a baby would do.

Like today, for example. I was sitting at the table, reading the newspaper, when Jesse walked over to sit in the chair next to me. When I looked at him, he shrugged his shoulders. When I did the same thing, he threw his little head back with a big laugh. Then he shrugged again, I shrugged again, and more laughter came out of his mouth. He thought the whole act of shrugging shoulders was just hilarious.

And then there was the time I was pushing him in the baby swing at the park. He LOVED it. It was like it was just me and him, no troubles in the world, as I pushed him in the swing and he sat there so peacefully and so content.

And sometimes he'll climb into my lap and give me a kiss or a hug and, if I'm lucky, he'll lie against my chest, put his little head on my shoulder, and I could just hold him in my arms or rock him in a chair.

There are some things he will do that I could just spend hours watching. In the bathtub, he has these little cups and he'll take turns switching the water from cup to cup, just contentedly busying himself pouring the water back and forth. Sometimes he'll sit on the floor and play with his toy cars (he LOVES cars!). Or he'll hold a small mirror in his tiny hands and just stare at his reflection, moving the mirror really close as he examines that face he sees in it then really far away to get a full view.

I am beginning to think he understands his parents are deaf. Today, for example, he went to where his father sat at the desk, patted his arm to get his attention, then "signed" to him. At least, he TRIED to sign! It was cute to watch him. He has been doing that a lot, trying to sign to us. We have not used home signs with him, just regular ASL. But he uses signs that are not real signs, not even for home signs. He'll also flash the room light or stomp his foot to get our attention.

There is just so much about Jesse that I cherish, despite the fatigue and trying times. I am just so very, very grateful he is in our lives. He's an adorable baby (in MY opinion) and so smart and so sweet. Sometimes I think I'm going to wake up from this wonderful dream, and he won't be there. My heart sinks at that very thought. So many times Jennifer tells me how much she loves her brother (she even has a shirt that says "I love Baby J"!) and I'm glad she's extremely protective of him, even with us. She is a good big sister and he's lucky to have such a wonderful and protective sister.

Well, we are lucky to have him, too.

I cherish him every single day, and I cherish those special moments that he and I get to share even more.


Millie said...

When Allison and I came to visit you guys we had no idea how much we would love Jesse. We knew we'd love him, but our expectations of attachment definitely surpassed. We talk about him all the time and how smart and adorable he is. You are lucky to have such a beautiful* and smart son. And he is lucky to have the best mom. Reading all of this makes me miss him more! And actually made me get a little teary eyed. I know you are so happy to have those awesome kids in your life. lol

Dawn Colclasure said...

Most definitely. I am very grateful for them and can't see my future without them. I am glad you and Allison got to establish that connection with him. If only the kids could see certain family members more often to keep that connection strong. They DO need to have that. You know? Some other family close by.

Thanks for commenting. :)

Nancy said...

Aww very sweet tribute to Jesse!

Dawn Colclasure said...

Thank you, Nancy. :) I did want to write something special just for him, and about him. And keep the medical stuff OUT of it this time. LOL :)