Keeping my end of the deal

Last night, Jesse twisted his ankle in his gymnastics class. I had to carry him to the car because he was in so much pain and because I was parked alllll the way on the other side of the building and I didn’t want him to have to hop all that way to the car. Plus, it was all wet and rainy, which made it too dangerous for him to hop to the car. (Sidenote; Parking at the Gymnastics Academy is usually CRAZY and I’m lucky to find a parking spot anywhere next to the building at all.) I told him I would give him Tylenol at home (which I did) and that we’d treat his ankle with heat/ice (ditto) and that we would wait and see how it was tomorrow. If it was worse, he’d stay home from school, OFF of that foot, and, if necessary, get medical care. We pretty much decided to take a “wait and see” approach with it.

Thing of it was, last night I was thinking how nice it would be if I could get a little extra sleep this morning. Jen gets up later for school on Wednesdays because it starts later on Wednesdays and I’m always looking for a chance to get a bit more extra sleep on a weekday. Even if it’s for a half hour. (I REALLY need to stop going to bed so late!) But last night I knew I still had to get up when the alarm clock goes off at 5. (Even if it’s 15 minutes after I wake up – I often lie in bed thinking about things before I get up. I don’t jump out of bed right when the alarm goes off.) So, that’s what I did this morning – at 5:15, that is. As far as I knew, Jesse was going to school today, so I had to get him up at 6:30. So after my morning routine and shower, that’s what I did.

He took one step on that foot and cried out in pain. I tried to get him to walk with a bandage on it but it hurt him too much. The pain drove him to tears. I told him he could stay home from school today and that he had to stay off of his foot. I gave him Children’s Ibuprofen for the pain and helped him to get comfortable.

So I guess I really didn’t HAVE to get up so early this morning. But did I regret it? Absolutely not. I was not disappointed that “all that was for nothing” because I had still done what I was supposed to do. I had followed the same routine I have in place for school mornings to make sure I’m dressed and ready for the day (and had coffee!) before getting the kids off to school in time. (I have my first cup of coffee before I take Jesse to the bus stop and my second cup, and sometimes even breakfast, when I take Jen to school.) But the important thing is that I stuck to my part of the plan. I kept my end of the deal. I did what I what I was supposed to do on a school morning.

And, really, that’s how it is with a lot of other things in life. A lot of other things that have happened in my life that DIDN'T turn out the way I had hoped or planned for or wanted to happen. If I make an agreement with someone and the other person does not follow through on what THEY say they will do or if they bail, I can walk away from it with a clear conscience because at least I kept my end of the bargain. If I still do what I said I would do, put in the time and effort and all that, and then the other person changes their minds, or gives up, or lets barriers hold them back, or has problems to deal with, or decides it’s not worth it anymore and things don’t go the way WE wanted them to or something does not happen that WE tried to create or make happen or become a thing, then it is THEIR fault and not mine. It’s all on them! It’s not on me, because I kept my part of the deal. I did what I said I would do or what I agreed to do, so there’s nothing I have to feel bad about there.

If I keep my end of a deal and things don’t work out, I must accept things not happening how I had hoped and move on. Because life doesn’t stop for ANYBODY. Life is a constant process. Life really DOES go on, and you gotta go on with it. You really do. There’s no time to wallow in disappointment, seek revenge or get on the Internet and cry about it. No, Life is MOVING FORWARD and you gotta move forward with it!

So even if an agreement goes south or even if someone doesn’t hold up their end of the bargain, I’ve got no regrets if I held up mine. I did what I said I would do or I kept the agreement or followed the routine. I kept my end of the deal and that’s really all that I CAN do even if things fall apart. And when things DO fall apart, sometimes, that is out of my control and I can't change it or fix it but at least I did what I said I would do.  I did what I had to do and even if that’s not enough to make an agreement come full circle or that’s not enough for someone and they bail, it’s enough for me.