A lot of people have probably gone through this
situation: As a child, they would not be able to finish their meal. “I’m full,”
they would have said. Despite the food still left on their plate: The
half-eaten chicken, the mashed potatoes they made sculptures with instead of
devouring, and the green beans they were loath to touch but they had to eat a
few bites of it anyway because their mother told them they need to eat their
vegetables. Well, eating your vegetables is NOT bad advice from a parent. In
fact, it’s GOOD for kids to eat their vegetables! I tell my kids to eat their
vegetables all the time. (It’s an ongoing battle.)
I don’t have a problem with that sort of parental
instruction. But what I do have a problem with is the reply that most kids get
and have gotten whenever they try to leave the table when there is still food
on their plate: “Clean your plate.” This is usually followed with, “There are
starving kids in Africa who have nothing to eat” or “Most kids don’t get to eat
that food.” I had this happen a lot, especially since I grew up in a family of
seven kids and one working parent. We really struggled, especially with food.
And my mom always told us we had to eat ALL of our food. We were not allowed to
leave the table unless we cleaned our plates. My grandmother, who lived through
the Great Depression, always heaped food on us too, and she always encouraged
us to eat every bite. (Heck, she fed anybody who came through her door. God bless
her.)
The reason why I have a problem with this kind of
instruction is because it’s one way a lot of people end up packing on extra
pounds. A lot of the meals that people eat are not portion-controlled and
restaurants are KNOWN for heaping too much food onto plates when they serve an
order.
This is certainly one way I have put on extra weight. I
was skinny in my early twenties but, yes, I have put on weight since then. I
recently made changes to my diet and it has made me take a good hard look at
the foods we’re all eating, how much we eat and eating habits that keep us from
losing weight (like eating in front of the TV, eating when we are bored, etc.).
But there are many times when I will have my mother
looming over my shoulder in some form and reminding me of something or another
(like “say thank you even if you hate the gift” or something like that). And
one thing she said to me as a child that sticks with me? “Clean your plate.”
But the problem is, sometimes I can’t clean my plate! And I don’t think we
should have to, either.
Ever since I made these diet changes, I have noticed my
appetite grow smaller. I just can’t eat the same size or amount of foods that I
used to. (Something I am happy about!!) Like today, for example. I started out
as eating a peanut butter sandwich for lunch. Three quarters into that
sandwich, hubby wanted to split his ginormous-sized Greek salad with me. I
happily accepted, because I love to eat salad and also because I never had
Greek salad before so I wanted to try it. What was left of my sandwich was soon
forgotten as I dug into that salad, but I soon noticed that I was full. (One of
my new eating habits is to pay attention to when I am full and stop eating.)
Ordinarily, I would force myself to finish eating the sandwich (the salad did
not go to waste because hubby ate the rest of it), but I no longer force myself
to keep eating a meal if I am full. And I really didn’t think the world would
end if I didn’t clean my plate. (It didn’t.) I did feel a tinge of guilt as I
threw away what was left of the sandwich and if my mother were alive to see it,
she might’ve been upset. But I think she would have understood why I just can’t
continue to clean my plate at every meal.
No, I’m not doing that anymore. And I don’t make my kids
do that, either. (I WANT them to stop eating when they are full! Or no longer hungry.) I really
don’t think it is a healthy eating habit to force ourselves to eat when we are
full. Sure, I see the reason why so many parents tell their kids to clean their
plates at mealtime, but is it really a good idea to force our kids to keep
eating when they are filled to bursting? I think that the better thing to teach
them is to listen to their bodies and to stop eating when they feel full.
Otherwise, it’s an invitation for extra pounds weighed up at the scale.
If we can’t clean our plate, it can mean a variety of
things. It might mean we don’t like the food. It might mean that something came
up and we can’t finish eating. Or, you know, it might also mean that we are
full. There’s always that possibility. With me, as long as my kids took a few
bites of the IMPORTANT food that is on their plate (the main course), I’m okay
with them excusing themselves because they are full. And I think some other
parents should try to be okay with that too.